My fellow comrades!
What a glorious MarXmas Eve it has been thus far. Please indulge me briefly as I share some warm and fuzzy thoughts.
I settled on my comfortable orange crate sofa, a jug of vintage beet vodka pressed tightly between my thighs, and a copy of Grapes of Wrath next to me on the floor. It had been a long day in the fields and I looked forward eagerly to an evening of relaxation before the TV, a warm Coleman glowing softly by my side.
Clicker in hand, I began scanning the channels. What’s this? The thoughtful comrades at CNN had
Ah ha! More glorious news! C-SPAN was featuring a lecture by two aging hippies. The subject? Haight Ashbury! The summer of love, drugs, and Fritos. Now we’re cookin. The bohemian ambiance, head shops, scraggly haired hippies, filth. My heart brimmed with admiration for the selfless comrades who helped destroy what was a decadent pit of Kapitalism while simultaneously furthering the People’s Revolution.
Further up the dial, I came across an MSNBC special broadcast of the re-broadcast of the original broadcast on assault weapon violence in Amerika. Cleverly fashioning the story to appear as “anti-gun”, the sly agitprop specialists displayed footage of grieving parents, funerals, and the “misunderstood vegan” while tearful media types shoved microphones toward unsuspecting onlookers. “Should we allow people to own machine guns with 100 round drum magazines and walk around unregulated to wreck havoc on innocent children?” was the general form of the question posed. All the while, a tear wrenching dirge droned in the background. Very effective.
CNBC was doing its part as well. The latest episode of “Amerikan Greed” was demonstrating the evil nature of the McDonald meat and potato cartel. A pimple faced youth asked the camera, “How’s a person supposed to raise a family on minimum wage?” Yes comrades. Our collective schools have taught them well. As you might suspect, the news-thing never asked our youthful prog if he actually had a family. (or what was in the back pack)
Tiring of all the merriment, I decided to spend the rest of the evening watching my bootleg copy of Bad Santa and finishing off my jug of beet juice. Ho, ho, ho. Merry MarXmas.
As Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opiate for the masses."
Stop Drugs at the Source by Cutting Off the Supply! Just Say No!