In its ongoing progress toward making the internet - and all of the USSA - safer and more secure for all Americans, the Obama administration and the Department of Justice today announced that the feral government will henceforth require all internet passwords to be handed over immediately.

"As you would expect," said Comrade Attorney General Eric Holder, "We will keep your passwords private and secure, in fact more secure than they are today."

President B. Husseinovich Obama added, "Let me be clear: we do these things - all these things - for the good of the American people. I will not allow partisan members of the other party to prevent all Americans from being safe and secure, both in their homes and on the internet, as long as they remember their common sense duty to retreat to safety if threatened."

Comrade FLATUS Mooochelle Obama said that she is currently designing a pallet of web-safe colors to be used in all websites and applications, based on healthy vegetables: "For the first time in my life, I'm proud of the internet," stated the First Wookie, "And we will continue to move forward to ensure that no website or web application uses bloated code or non-organic colors."

Moochelle is wise to demand proper colors. She knows that red only makes us angry...blue is nicer...it makes us think smooth, clear, clean, good thoughts. AAhhhhh...I feel better just thinking about the glorious new world of Blue!

Comrade Squirrel, I'm a little worried about your understanding of vegetable colors.

Have you been camping in California lately?

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Comrade Putout, that poor creature is going to starve.

I will comply with our dearest, dear leader request! Top secret password is: nichts an. And I know fellow comrades will keep it top secret as well!