Charlotte, NC - Citing a lifelong dream to play on an NCAA champion basketball team and the dwindling odds of ever achieving that dream as a man, local basketball player Dontelle Curtis announced today that he strongly self identifies as a woman and intends to try out for the University of Connecticut women's basketball team.

The 6'8", 310-pound center averaged six points and eight rebounds this year for the West Charlotte High Lions, and expects to be a dominant force for the Lady Huskies when their new season starts in the Fall.

"I always wanted to play for [the University of] North Carolina's men's basketball team and be a part of one of their championship teams," said Curtis. "But centers at top tier basketball colleges are always seven feet tall, and I'm not quick enough to play forward. That's why I was so happy when [President] Obama said that I can play for a women's program if I feel like a woman.

"Man, do I feel like a woman!" exclaimed Curtis as she held up a completed application for a women's basketball athletic scholarship. "I never could have gotten a scholarship back when I felt like a man, but now they have to give me one or they'll be violating Title IX!"

On May 13, the Obama Administration released a letter notifying K-12 schools, colleges, and universities that Title IX, the law prohibiting sex discrimination, requires that they allow students to participate in activities and access facilities consistent with their chosen gender identity or risk losing federal funding.

"I'm going to be the greatest Lady Husky in history, and that's a fact," promised Curtis. "I bet I can get 20 blocks and 20 rebounds every game, and I'm going to dunk every time I get the ball. With me policing the lane, we're going to win every game."

Asked if she would be uncomfortable having to shower with biological women, Curtis replied, "No, I don't think so. I identify as one of those, uh, lesbian women, so it's cool."

No matter how much I shovel, the spacing doesn't get any better. Sorry comrades.

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That's the road, Comrades Penis-Carriers, when Big Gov starts gender-IDing the Masses ! Declare yourself lesbian, thereby (a) getting the Superstatus of Femina, and (b) certified to “do business” with any cutie of your choice*, due to your dike status ! heh heh heh.

* Callipygian Brunettes first, of course.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:.
That's the road, Comrades Penis-Carriers, when Big Gov starts gender-IDing the Masses ! Declare yourself lesbian, thereby (a) getting the Superstatus of Femina, and (b) certified to “do business” with any cutie of your choice*, due to your dike status ! heh heh heh.

[highlight=#ffff00]* Callipygian Brunettes first, of course[/highlight].

But who will represent the fair-haired species? Yes! The Queen Herself!

Kilroy wrote:No matter how much I shovel, the spacing doesn't get any better. Sorry comrades.

I bet you will find switching to "poor text" while editing very useful. Pasting text in this mode strips all the unnecessary formatting and keeps the line breaks the way you want them.

Red Square wrote:

Kilroy wrote:No matter how much I shovel, the spacing doesn't get any better. Sorry comrades.

I bet you will find switching to "poor text" while editing very useful. Pasting text in this mode strips all the unnecessary formatting and keeps the line breaks the way you want them.

Are you suggesting Comrade Kilroy prefers rich text?

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Are you suggesting Comrade Kilroy prefers rich text?

That indeed may well identify a potential subliminal predisposition towards throughtcrime. More investigation is needed. We haven't had show trials in quite some time; the kollektive is getting restless. There's nothing that can boost the morale and reinvigorate the camaraderie like a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad.

Red Square wrote:

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Are you suggesting Comrade Kilroy prefers rich text?

That indeed may well identify a potential subliminal predisposition towards throughtcrime. More investigation is needed. We haven't had show trials in quite some time; the kollektive is getting restless. There's nothing that can boost the morale and reinvigorate the camaraderie like a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad.

Can we have them run the gauntlet as an alternative to trial? It is where we collectively punish the person of interest.

Red Square wrote:...a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad.

Do we have to waste a bunch of time and put them in that sequence?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Red Square wrote:...a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad.

Do we have to waste a bunch of time and put them in that sequence?

Ivan, do I have to remind you it's "Rape, Pillage, then Burn"? Everything must be done according to plan.

In fairness, I obviously have no love for rich text given the way it treats me. Still... it has been a while since I've been purged, and it's probably my turn again. Tell me, is Boris still working at the Norilsk facility?

Herr Lurkeroffen wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Red Square wrote:...a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad.

Do we have to waste a bunch of time and put them in that sequence?

Ivan, do I have to remind you it's "Rape, Pillage, then Burn"? Everything must be done according to plan.

I agree, they all come in a set. First, you do the purge to provide subjects for the show trial, then you do the show trial to quell any doubts in our flawless justice system, and finally, you assemble the firing squad to reinforce superiority of the State. Think of it like this: first you crush your enemies, then you see them driven before you, and then you hear the lamentation of their women. If you take one of those out or rearrange one, then the whole plot falls apart.

Red Square wrote:... There's nothing that can boost the morale and reinvigorate the camaraderie like a good purge, a show trial, and a firing squad ...

If I may suggest, Brotherly Comrade Equal-yet-Topmost : ye watch them Krauts, they appear to sometimes be in need of a nice purgatorium, don't they ?

Self identifying as a Husky should not be limited to gender.

Life imitates the People's Cube (exactly one week after Kilroy's story):

Students sign petition to allow man on women's basketball team

Despite making no effort to exude femininity, it soon became apparent that students were more than willing to go along with the idea that I was a woman who had every right to play basketball with other women.

As the day progressed, I began to push the envelope further, calling myself a “hero” and even suggesting the abolition of gender-specific sports leagues. It seemed like the more outlandish my suggestions, the more enthusiastic my supporters became.

Of the 50 students who stopped to speak with me, just one insisted that I was clearly not a woman, and as such, should not be allowed to play basketball on the women's team.

While some students adamantly agreed with me, there were many who seemed hesitant and disbelieving, yet offered words of encouragement and agreed to sign my petition anyway.

Captain Craptek wrote:... The Queen Herself!

However enthusiastic of The Empress becoming P45, I'm obliged ― by animalistic forces partially beyond my control ― to strongly deny Herself the Glorious, nay, the Shining, oh nay - the Mooning Status of Callipygette.

Endearingly Arousable Comrade Craptec ― lets stay on the ground of stubborn things - the facts - and humbly accept the expertise of BDS* Boy i. e. the Nukular Chimp Georgie W, whose learned opinion is this :

Georgie W : wrote:On Hillary Clinton: “Wait till her fat keister is sitting at this desk."

For which quote there can't be a better source then the Beloved Organ of One-Hundredth-Promiller Soros, his organ circulating under the melodious battlecry of ThinkProgress (here).


* BDS : Bush Derangement Syndrome, identified (in this case brilliantly) by psssychiatrist Dr. “Chuck” Krauthammer (here).



We KKK, the Kubist Komrades Kollektiv, we don't ― and most certainly, we shouldn't ― open a Not-So-Glorious Category of Fat Keister Shlepperettes ! We owe it, last but not least, to our Children ― I mean that subset of them who will grow up with no doubts about themselves being either manly chiseled Men or gorgeously sweet Feminae.

Lets humbly remain in awe of unadulterated Callipygettes - who roamed Our Precious Mother Earth since Humanity decided to crawl down the savannah trees, next also The Snaky Tree, and ― what a blessing! ― still do it, to this very day.