"WANT IS WEALTH
POVERTY IS PROSPERITY
SQUALOR IS LUXURY"
Calling all Democrats, Mainstream Media Members, Entitlement Recipients, Communists, Socialists, Statists, Totalitarians, Community Organizers, Occupiers, Government Workers, Students, Womyn, GLBTs, and Oppressed Minorities of every color of the Rainbow Coalition:
If you value the New World Order, Fundamental Transformation, and Hope and Change For the Children™, you must ensure, by all means possible, that Mitt Romney wins the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination.
Do not concern yourselves that the weak, worthless TeaBagger Tearrorist Party Conservatives will mumble ineffectual complaints about “illegal, underhanded methods”. Everything we Progs do is legal, just, and above-board, because we declare it to be so. And Everyone Knows™ that Conservatives and Conservatism are too weak to stop us. After all, we are The Law.
For months, our pundits, friends, and sympathizers, including the Repubican’t Party Establishment (which by the way does not exist), have been trumpeting that Mitten will win the Repubican’t nomination. We must all mobilize to ensure that this reality comes to pass.
As expected, you are asking yourselves “Why should we involve ourselves in this? Mitt Romney is an ENEMY.” (Ah, the
No. You must realize that Mitten is one of us. Mitten cannot possibly defeat Dear 0’Leader. Mitten has shown himself to be one of our drones, a mere pawn of our own, as he’s played the game, this nomination cycle as in the past, dirtily and destructively against his fellow Republicans, and has used tactics and slander against them the likes of which he wouldn’t dare employ against our own Dear 0’Leader. He simply doesn’t have the courage or conviction (both Evil false concepts we righteously eschew) to do what Conservatives claim would rebuild the US of KKK to its former Evil Enslaving Empire status. If such “ideals” even interested Mitten, he would have to retract his candidacy precisely because he’s not the man to do the TeaBaggers’ bidding. He doesn’t even have the courage to debate his fellow Republicans on substantive issues, or appear in venues where his record may be challenged. He has no positive message, as our Enemies define “positive”, and he cannot provide sufficient reasons to vote for him. He has succeeded in the goal we set for him of weakening the Republican Party with his dirty tricks and negativity, the same tactics we applaud when employed by those of our own.
Now let’s review our reasons for delight at Mitten’s assured nomination.
As the Repubican’t nominee, the 0bama campaign will use tactics similar to Mitten’s own to destroy him. After all, we wrote that book. Mitten cannot hope to match the negativity or the funds of the campaign that will be launched against him. The negativity and spending he has lavished in slandering his Republican rivals will be turned tenfold on Mitten by Dear 0’Leader’s team, and he will be unable to defend himself against the onslaught. He will not survive politically when Dear 0’Leader’s campaign hammers continually on how 0bamacare was based on Romneycare, how Mitten, like 0bama, supports Cap-and-
Our Glorious USSA must necessarily reject and destroy a strong conservative Constitutionalist who would curb the growth of the federal government, and Mitten agrees. Again I remind you, Dear Reader: Mitten cannot win against 0bama. So once again I urge you: ensure Mitten’s nomination. Stand up for Hope and Change™, for Radical Transformation™. Ensure Santorum steps down from the race, and let a man who has no chance to defeat 0bama – our man, our Mitten – do his job. For our Utopia. For the USSA. For our people. And most importantly, For the Children™.
Mitten is another Dole-drum, another McCain’t, another stamped-out lifeless losing device of the Repubican’t machine. He will be chewed up and spit out like the tasteless mass-marketed political junk food we know him to be, and Dear 0’Leader shall once again triumph and reign – not just for four more years, but forever – as our Benevolent, All-Knowing
Brothers and Sisters, rejoice with me!
no matter who wins or who loses, the victory is ours. Some people might suspect something is askew from the number of suspended campaigns in this election cycle. If nothing else our dirty tricks division cannot easily be observed in action. All glory to the state!!!!!
R.O.C.K. in the USSAYawn...
R.O.C.K. – your inattentiveness demonstrates a distressing lack of respect for Dear 0’Leader. Perhaps a bracing trip to our northern wastelands (where the hated Palin-creature resides) to break rocks with a screwdriver – said trip and screwdriver to be paid for out of your beet rations – would re-awaken your zeal.
The cartoon above should be korrected to say: "Get behind Romney before he gets behind you".
I'd rather take a shower with Dandusky than vote for Lyin' Hussein.