Greetings from the Gulag!

Dearest Fellow Comrades and Comradessess,

I have great news of joy to share with all. I have served my time in the People's Glorious Gulag and am so pleased to announce my freedom release termination new Life Condition! I am no longer required requested to be a member of the gulag prison inmatesco-heart list, I am now free able to join the daily livelihood, that the rest of our glorious collective enjoys! I was told asked to work in our glorious gulag to make improvement and enhancements for it's Permanent Residents, which I humbly agreed to.

We started by making the Gulag a happier more joyful place, for all to enjoy and spend relaxing time in!
Here is our lovely main living area before our paint and fix up crew had their way. We had such fun cleaning and painting with our patriot comrades


Here are the results . . . is it not lovely! We decided on antiquing, which is most modern and lends to that 'homey' effect.


Here isthe our old bit dreary gulag kitchen



Here is our new kitchen! Note the fancy new stove and countertop! And I am humbly proud to announce, vermin free! (please note(as requested by High Party Official) that is NOT rat droppings or blood splatters on the floor and walls)


Here are a few inmatesfellow comrades eagerly waiting to enter a newly designed cafeteria. They were filled with such joy, I can not express!


I and so filled with joy with the prospect my new life as a hard working member of the Collective, doing my part, to make life better for all.

Praise Obobo Obamer Obama!

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Greetings from the Gulag!

Dearest Fellow Comrades and Comradessess ~

We started by making the Gulag a happier more joyful place, for all to enjoy and spend relaxing time in!
Here is our lovely main living area before our paint and fix up crew had their way. We had such fun cleaning and painting with our patriot comrades

Here is our new kitchen! Note the fancy new stove and countertop! And I am humbly proud to announce, vermin free! (please note(as requested by High Party Official) that is NOT rat droppings or blood splatters on the floor and walls)

I noticed you did not provide any image of your toilet facilities. I hope that is because you are enlightened enough to have avoided the decadence of installing indoor plumbing for a flush toilet. I assume you have an Earth-Friendly Privy. Be sure to always remember you must go brown before you can go green. Gooooo Fraulein.

--Gorbels Cube

Gorbels Cube wrote: I noticed you did not provide any image of your toilet facilities. I hope that is because you are enlightened enough to have avoided the decadence of installing indoor plumbing for a flush toilet. I assume you have an Earth-Friendly Privy. Be sure to always remember you must go brown before you can go green. Gooooo Fraulein.

--Gorbels Cube

INDOOR? You say there are indoor toilets? Balderdash. I never heard of such a thing! But here is a picture of our newest Relief Outlets! We are humbly proud to have such facilities.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Gorbels Cube wrote:
I noticed you did not provide any image of your toilet facilities. I hope that is because you are enlightened enough to have avoided the decadence of installing indoor plumbing for a flush toilet. I assume you have an Earth-Friendly Privy. Be sure to always remember you must go brown before you can go green. Gooooo Fraulein.

--Gorbels Cube

INDOOR? You say there are indoor toilets? Balderdash. I never heard of such a thing! But here is a picture of our newest Relief Outlets! We are humbly proud to have such facilities.

Fraulein!

You are far more progressive than I had ever imagined. Community privies! I'm sure parties at your house are especially satisfying when, near the end of the party, everyone shares the same urge and you have provided the opportunity for them to purge themselves collectively. It's difficult to imagine a better way to contribute to the spirit of Comraderie. Yet it seems you forgot to provide an ample supply of corn-cobs. (In the heyday of capitalism, corn cobs were not needed because there was always an ample supply of pages in the Sears & Roebuck Catalogue-- aahhh, for the good old days.) Or, perhaps they're conveniently stored inside the Collective Privy-Pots? A fun exercise for everyone to first fish for a corn-cob before taking a seat.

You should save your Rubles for a nice stereo system to play the Internationale outside so the end of your parties could feature your guests playing "Musical Privies."

Congratulations Fraulein. If you need anything for your new digs (furniture, big screen TV, etc.) I can have Buffoon steal commandeer it for redistribution to you (that reminds me, I need to change my locks on the dacha and install bars over the windows).

What glorious accommodations, Fraulein. Not only are they modern and comfortable, but it looks as if all that is required to clean the areas is to hose everything down. Now that makes my job as the gulag housekeeper much easier. This way, I'll have time for a hobby and plenty of free time, which was, of course, the very reason that our glorious system attracted me in the first place.

Fraulein, are you the dear soul who humbly asked Obamao for a new kitchen, a new car? What a pimped out diggs! Can't wait to see your new car!

GLORIOUS WORK FRAU!

This should finally put the nail in the coffin in the argument by all those reichwinger dolts who claim Obama's stimulis package was just wasting money, full of fraud and that people were skimming off of it right from the bat and it was not really creating jobs but enriching already entrenched bureaucrats instead.

Your pictures are proof that the money has in fact trickled down to the masses in full and not a dime was wasted!

It is so good to see that 40 million dollars allocated to the shovel ready Gulag re-hab was well spent. The inner party official in charge of the contract is to be commended for the wise use of these funds and ensuring no cost over runs were encountered and that the money was wisely spent on the project itself and not on those pesky added 'admin' costs to support himself or his staff.

Comrade Whoopie............I just have say Great Job on the Contract and the 'quality' results delivered to the customer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comrades, I understand our own dear Zampolit Blokhayev has a wide screen TV and X Box that are available for redistribution.

Will I be able to hose them down? I hope so. All TV's and X-Boxes should be waterproof with the kind of messes we create.

Comrade Rooster Please note, reference to "New" gulag is reference to and of MY 'new' gulag digs.

Comradess Czarweary I do believe they are still in the business of pleasuring... in the business of giving pleasure.... in the pleasurable business of helping fellow comrades. "Have hose, Will travel!"Boris is on his way to assist in your 'weekly cleaning.' When finished with you, hosing down your government provided housing hut, please direct him to Comradess Czar Czar's.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrade Rooster Please note, reference to "New" gulag is reference to and of MY 'new' gulag digs.

Comradess Czarweary I do believe they are still in the business of pleasuring... in the business of giving pleasure.... in the pleasurable business of helping fellow comrades. "Have hose, Will travel!"Boris is on his way to assist in your 'weekly cleaning.' When finished with you, hosing down your government provided housing hut, please direct him to Comradess Czar Czar's.

Dear Fraulein,

Please send Boris to the GAIA Ministry for his next assignment. Regarding the urgent necessity of cooling Mother Earth (GAIA), since he has now created a fire in GAIA, he needs to be assigned to put out her fire. I hope he has a long hose.

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Oh, dear kind Minister Neytiri,
I will gloriously do just that! Such forethought you have shown, in your deep concern for GAIA! We would be remiss if Boris were not there for a deep cleanings. Kudos for your collective concerns.

(let's see, that's Comradess Czarweary, Czar Czar, Minister Neytiri . . . I think Boris is going to have a very product week. Re-distribution if so glorious!)

Oh Fraulein Pulloskies! Is good to see Boris back playing with hose.
I was to add foto of my own but... ala zag... it refuses to come up. How is that you can add such wonderous foto of Boris hard at labor and not for me. Can you help to explain? You know from before my ability to perform such simple task but now I run onto difficulty. Do you have majik ways I am not wary of?

Dearests Comrade Al,
I too had the same "problemo" (to quote famous Cali-forn-ia Progressive!) . . Boris would not get up come up show himself. I was forced to locate him through the html, where he was still hiding from Red Square, muttering passionately to himself. . . Boris that is, not Comrade Square.
Is it not a relief to see him with his hose! I just hope comrade Boris will have suitable approval from Party Eliteist, lest wise, he might be banished to the back of the gulag, once again!

Frau,

Could that possibly be you in my old gulag bunk room photo?

Boris's hose wasn't the only thing that disappeared around here. But, it's good to see that Boris was not taken to far and distant gulag light years away. Nothing quite like special favors to an apparatchik to keep oneself from going away permanently in the dead of night.

Comrade Snoogie,

It's good to see such warm, cozy and most equal quarters. I know the photo of Marx, too, will warm the cockles of Mrs. Al Czar Weary's hose heart. I do believe that may be Fraulein 60 years ago. But my, hasn't she aged beeuutifooly?

Sweet fancy gulags! ^TM, Comrade Woogums. Wherever did you find that picture. I thought they were all destroy when the Bushitler regime took over the country. My, my, I forget how fitching I was. How I miss those lovely government provided housing we were given. Nothing says home like Stalin glaring staring at your backside, day and night. But I dare say, it appears brother Marx has a wee bit of a bullet hole?

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:How I miss those lovely government provided housing we were given.

Ummm, yes, about that. I'm so sorry for the delay in getting you moved into your new accommodations Fraulein. We're tracking down the saboteurs of our glorious upgrade and as soon as they're brought to justice it will be safe to relocate you. Until then I fear if we tried you might turn up missing the next morning. This is most embarrassing and Snoogie is absolutely brokenhearted. He wanted to see you in the worst way.

Speaking of seeing you in the worst way. I hope you didn't take offense to my suggestion of letting the ladies of the Inner Party give your avatar a makeover. I never got to see what you had to say about that because some dirty saboteur stole the comments from that day.

I was just thinking how you gals like to get together and go shopping for new clothes and getting your hair done up and the like. It (nor the picture of Medusa) was intended as a reflection on your awesome, heart stopping, drop dead good looks.

Comrade Whoopie wrote: Ummm, yes, about that. I'm so sorry for the delay in getting you moved into your new accommodations Fraulein. We're tracking down the saboteurs of our glorious upgrade and as soon as they're brought to justice it will be safe to relocate you. Until then I fear if we tried you might turn up missing the next morning. This is most embarrassing and Snoogie is absolutely brokenhearted. He wanted to see you in the worst way.

Speaking of seeing you in the worst way. I hope you didn't take offense to my suggestion of letting the ladies of the Inner Party give your avatar a makeover. I never got to see what you had to say about that because some dirty saboteur stole the comments from that day.

I was just thinking how you gals like to get together and go shopping for new clothes and getting your hair done up and the like. It (nor the picture of Medusa) was intended as a reflection on your awesome, heart stopping, drop dead good looks.

Dear comrade Whoopie, yes, I too was sorry about the "delay" but better to wait until all the rats, snakes, and previous cadavers tenants, are completely remove. It's all for the Collective, is it not. . . . not to mention those nightly visit are something to be avoided. (that is how I lost dear later husband, after all).
Oh NO! Not offended, we gals do love to shop and get do's done! And that offers yet another opportunity to watch our friendly, brawny, 6-pack comrade Fireman Boris, doing his work with his hose, at Brunhilda's Do's, Massage and Firehouse directly across from the Beet Emporium!

Frau!

That really was you! I thought it might be. Ah, the memories of the good old days so long ago in the Gulag with my bunkmates. Those glorious days of the past and toiling in the beet fields for the greater good. The glorious nights of enjoying those fine re-education classes. The Gulag library with its fine selection of party approved reading material: the New York Times, Newsweek and of course the Washington Post. Oh and movie night on Fridays! Gosh how I love that Michael Moore and his cinematic genius.
The fine living accommodations as you can tell by my photo. Now that was a roof built to last and never once leaked when it rained and always kept that 30 degree below zero wind out.
As a matter of fact I was so overwhelmed after taking it all in that I hardly noticed the hired help that had access to our bunk room when we weren't around. The help that kept my straw mattress and itching single wool blanket always smelling “spring-time” fresh. Then to find out it actually really was you that was taking care of the once every three month washing of the blanket!
Do you remember how me and my bunkies were so overjoyed when they issued us our shining new shovels for the first time? We were so excited that we didn't want to put them up in the tool shed after our regular 14 hour shift digging for beets but wanted to keep them in our bunk room so they would be close by? We really wanted to impress the head camp administrator with our new found shoveling zeal and decided that we would practice our shoveling techniques after work all on our own in the bunk-room and then really surprise him with our new found initiative.
Of course this made our floor a little dirtier than the other bunkrooms and now to know it was you that was sweeping up after us to keep the place nice and clean make this Comrade's heart go pitter patter. I'm so glad you never got mad about the extra dirt and extra work we made for you that you never did go and complain to the camp administrator about it.
Little did we know as newbie's to the camp at that time that initiative was frowned upon though in the collective and only through socialist solidarity could fairness be achieved to all. It was so fortunate for us that some unknown Comrade was able to inform the beloved camp administrator of what we doing with our shovels in our off time in the bunk-room to avoid a really potentially embarrassing situation for all of us.
I'm so glad that Comrade informed on us so that they were able to find the tunnel we were digging before we had a chance to show it off to the administrator of our lovely after hours shovel work. Instead of impressing the camp administrator we would have actually embarrassed him instead!
Boy, after that little incident me and my bunkies had a real good laugh over the whole silly thing. The camp administrator was so pleased to have been informed of our nocturnal shoveling that he gave me and my bunkies real special treatment. Not to bore you with the details but you'd really be surprised how much fun one can have with power tools and battery cables wielded in the hands of a real professional.
My only regret from the whole time I was there is that I never did find out who informed on us, I'd really like to find that person after all these years and give them a real well deserved…..errrrr…. thank you.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Frau!
Do you remember how me and my bunkies were so overjoyed when they issued us our shining new shovels for the first time? We were so excited that we didn't want to put them up in the tool shed after our regular 14 hour shift digging for beets but wanted to keep them in our bunk room so they would be close by? We really wanted to impress the head camp administrator with our new found shoveling zeal and decided that we would practice our shoveling techniques after work all on our own in the bunk-room and then really surprise him with our new found initiative . . . My only regret from the whole time I was there is that I never did find out who informed on us, I'd really like to find that person after all these years and give them a real well deserved…..errrrr…. thank you.

Yes, dearest comrade! How I remember you and your bunkies toiling through the nights. The digging, the sweeping. Singing while we worked! It was such a howling crying shame about those loverly tunnels. If there had just been more understanding of your deepest desire to serve and expand ventilation for the proles.
But, if memory serves (and I believe it does) comrade Dmitri, who was 'close' to some of our overseers loyal workers, ate some Beet soup and was taken deathly ill and eventually succumbed
,
most suddenly. (I make the most glorious beet soup!) There were nasty rumors of poison but that was, of course, just gulag gossip.
I did think you would be interested in hearing of the sad demise of comrade Dmitri, though. *sniff

I know the photo of Marx, too, will warm the cockles of Mrs. Al Czar Weary's hose heart.

Leninka, you seem to know of me too well. Yes, when ever I do see the robust manhood image of Marx my beard does quaking. It is my hoping that one day Boris will be of such portly important manner as what Marx has done with words Boris can do with hose.

Frau, that old foto does show to us such beauty of you in youth. Though I say you have not seemed to aged a day since that foto taken. Once a beauty, always a beauty.

Gulag gratitudes, dear Mrs. Czarweary. I think keeping ones stellar looks is dependent upon the intake of chetverts and chetverts of gulag dust. That and having the honor of pleasing High Party Officials by preparing Beet soup for their intake pleasures.
I must add, that your bread grown (no pun intended) more glorious through the years. Gulag dust?!

I did think you would be interested in hearing of the sad demise of comrade Dmitri, though. *sniff

Frau,

Truly sad news! And to also find out Dmitri didn't go right to the great collective in the sky but had lingered on suffering for days and days with that "unknown'" illness he contracted after eating his beet soup that you so loveingly made for him.

Oh, the thought is almost to painful to bear! I must now dip into my vodka ration stash and pour me a shot to numb this bad news.

Now for a toast to our long past and now nothing but beet fertilizer Dimitri.......I feel a tear coming on now........sniff, sniff.

And Frau if your ever in my neighborhood how about dropping in and let's console our collective "sorrow" together about losing poor poor Dimitri all those years ago and his suffering long death.........I have a special bottle of 1936 vintage Vodka just waiting to be opened on special occassions.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:[.....
Now for a toast to our long past and now nothing but beet fertilizer Dimitri.......I feel a tear coming on now........sniff, sniff.

And Frau if your ever in my neighborhood how about dropping in and let's console our collective "sorrow" together about losing poor poor Dimitri all those years ago and his suffering long death.........I have a special bottle of 1936 vintage Vodka just waiting to be opened on special occassions.

Dearest Comrade Woogums, I would be most highly honoed to partake in a little vodka rations to commemorate the glorious and goodness of late comrade Dmitri. Rumor has it he did, sadly, regrettably, suffer long and hard for over 2 days and 31 minutes and some 28 seconds. Slow acting poison is must be the worst way to go. I will dig up my vodka stash save and skimp to bring vodka for our loving toast to the dear departed. We must have enough to do the correct celebratories mourning.
See you soon!

My most equal Comrade Frau,

No need to to save and skimp and bring your own vodka as we console ourselves over poor Dmitri's untimely leaving of this earthly plane. As an Inner Party elite member I have certain privileges not granted to the average prole. Of course these privileges were given to me by the inner circle because of all the work that I have done "for the children" and in no way were the result of any nefarious plotting, backstabbing and screwing over my fellow man on my part in order to enrich my greedy little self and obtain power and a pretty cushy job with a real neat fleet to play with.
So no need for you to bring any Vodka I've got plenty for us both. A little 1936 Vodka from Estonia I think would be perfect to drown our sorrows and wipe away our tears over poor Dmitri's unfortunate end as beet fertilizer.

GLORIOUS! As the late Mr. P always said, "It's not what you know, but who you know" (although, in the end, in did him NEIN good). I shall not worry about saving a few cups of vodka and will gloriously look forward to your more than grandiose offer, dearest sir.

Only the most foolish prole would ever, eeever think you partook in any "nefarious plotting, backstabbing and screwing over my fellow man on my part in order to enrich my greedy little self and obtain power and a pretty cushy job with a real neat fleet to play with". Progressives are the only "hope" for worldly "change" and that comes out of the goodness of their souls, does it not. ( But, if a few of the un-equal get stepped (and squashed) in our path to rightly correctly adjusting social wrongs, so be it. sssssh)
Long live Dmitri!! Long live Oboma!

Yes, sweet Dmitri is smelling like roses..... or helping the roses to smell. I am sure he would be delighted to know how he's added to the Green Movement along with his beloved cow manure.