New pipe bomb discovered in Obama's mansion

Comrades!

It seems another tragedy was averted in the nick of time! A team of crack FBI counterterrorism investigators have discovered a non-exploding pipe bomb in the mansion of the Obama family. The pipe was attached to the toilet and was directed, through a hole in the floor, towards a subterranean, tube-like shelter. Team Mueller is currently investigating this subterranean network of interconnected catacombs. It is a miracle this device has not yet exploded.


The Obama family denies ever having seen this non-exploding "pipe" before. According to witnesses, the pipe was recently tampered with by a group of white males driving around in a suspicious van.

"It said something like 'plum service' or something," an emotional Michelle explained. "I thought they sold fruit. But then these people suddenly came in and started waving with iron tools. They did not have fruit at all! The housekeeper said we ordered them because of some kind of blockage, but my digestion is very good lately. It was very strange."

Already reports are coming in from other high-ranking democrats. It seems, all over the country, many similar vans are driving around. Their numbers increased sharply right after the first reports of a booming economy came in. Pundits on CNN suggest that Donald Trump is abusing the economy to embolden his army of blue-collar supremacists to tamper with these strange, non-exploding pipe-bomb-like objects in the bathrooms of his political adversaries.

Please check your own toilet, comrades! Stay safe!

Minitrue
 

It was reported that agents also found a suspicious copy of "Black Midget Mommas" laying next to the toilet along with a bottle of hand lotion and a stack of used baby wipes.
 

Minitrue

...The Obama family denies ever having seen this non-exploding "pipe" before...
That's because Obama doesn't poop. Just like Kim Jong Un.
 

It detonates when...



 

An inside anonymous source provided CNN with an image of what appears to be a dirty bomb.


 

Latest reports indicate this next-gen pipe bomb comes with a set of high-capacity magazines.
 

 

No, no, no! It wasn’t a bomb. It was a BONG! A simple typo has created a kerfuffle about something that isn’t there.

Good grief, Comrades, you’re going on and on about plumbing and doodies, when it’s just a bong.

Yes! A bong where one can inhale the most disgusting stuff and still get high. That’s the real issue.

Well, it does look like a pipe but, it’s really a BONG!

Here is what we’re actually “dealing” with:



 

Comrade Pamalinsky observed:

It was a BONG!

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Thank goodness for that. To me that image appeared to be of ... um, how can I put this ... some type of very personal entertainment device.
 

P.P. Gogol

Comrade Pamalinsky observed:

It was a BONG!

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Thank goodness for that. To me that image appeared to be of ... um, how can I put this ... some type of very personal entertainment device.It is, Comrade P.P. Gogol, either way.