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North Korea issues formal declaration of war (For realz!)

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Some days The Cube is a glorious source of correct propaganda, visual agitprop, and cutting edge satire. And sometimes life reads like the Cube. And sometimes, just sometimes North Korea issues a declaration of war... Comrades, you just can't make this shit up....

The moves of the U.S. imperialists to violate the sovereignty of the DPRK and encroach upon its supreme interests have entered an extremely grave phase. Under this situation, the dear respected Marshal Kim Jong Un, brilliant commander of Mt. Paektu, convened an urgent operation meeting on the performance of duty of the Strategic Rocket Force of the Korean People's Army for firepower strike and finally examined and ratified a plan for firepower strike.

The important decision made by him is the declaration of a do-or-die battle to provide an epochal occasion for putting an end to the history of the long-standing showdown with the U.S. and opening a new era. It is also a last warning of justice served to the U.S., south Korean group and other anti-reunification hostile forces. The decision reflects the strong will of the army and people of the DPRK to annihilate the enemies.

Now the heroic service personnel and all other people of the DPRK are full of surging anger at the U.S. imperialists' reckless war provocation moves, and the strong will to turn out as one in the death-defying battle with the enemies and achieve a final victory of the great war for national reunification true to the important decision made by Kim Jong Un.

The Supreme Command of the KPA in its previous statement solemnly declared at home and abroad the will of the army and people of the DPRK to take decisive military counteraction to defend the sovereignty of the country and the dignity of its supreme leadership as regards the war moves of the U.S. and south Korean puppets that have reached the most extreme phase.

Not content with letting B-52 make sorties into the sky over south Korea in succession despite the repeated warnings of the DPRK, the U.S. made B-2A stealth strategic bomber and other ultra-modern strategic strike means fly from the U.S. mainland to south Korea to stage a bombing drill targeting the DPRK. This is an unpardonable and heinous provocation and an open challenge.

By taking advantage of the U.S. reckless campaign for a nuclear war against the DPRK, the south Korean puppets vociferated about "preemptive attack" and "strong counteraction" and even "strike at the commanding forces", openly revealing the attempt to destroy monuments symbolic of the dignity of the DPRK's supreme leadership.

This clearly shows that the U.S. brigandish ambition for aggression and the puppets' attempt to invade the DPRK have gone beyond the limit and their threats have entered the reckless phase of an actual war from the phase of threat and blackmail.

The prevailing grim situation more clearly proves that the Supreme Command of the KPA was just when it made the judgment and decision to decisively settle accounts with the U.S. imperialists and south Korean puppets by dint of the arms of Songun, because time when words could work has passed.

Now they are openly claiming that the B-2A stealth strategic bombers' drill of dropping nuclear bombs was "not to irritate the north" but "the defensive one". The U.S. also says the drill is "to defend the interests of its ally". However, it is nothing but a lame pretext to cover up its aggressive nature, evade the denunciation at home and abroad and escape from the DPRK's retaliatory blows.

The era when the U.S. resorted to the policy of strength by brandishing nuclear weapons has gone.

It is the resolute answer of the DPRK and its steadfast stand to counter the nuclear blackmail of the U.S. imperialists with merciless nuclear attack and their war of aggression with just all-out war.

They should clearly know that in the era of Marshal Kim Jong Un, the greatest-ever commander, all things are different from what they used to be in the past.

The hostile forces will clearly realize the iron will, matchless grit and extraordinary mettle of the brilliant commander of Mt. Paektu that the earth cannot exist without Songun Korea.

Time has come to stage a do-or-die final battle.

The government, political parties and organizations of the DPRK solemnly declare as follows reflecting the final decision made by Kim Jong Un at the operation meeting of the KPA Supreme Command and the unanimous will of all service personnel and people of the DPRK who are waiting for a final order from him.

1.From this moment, the north-south relations will be put at the state of war and all the issues arousing between the north and the south will be dealt with according to the wartime regulations.

The state of neither peace nor war has ended on the Korean Peninsula.

Now that the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK have entered into an actual military action, the inter-Korean relations have naturally entered the state of war. Accordingly, the DPRK will immediately punish any slightest provocation hurting its dignity and sovereignty with resolute and merciless physical actions without any prior notice.

2. If the U.S. and the south Korean puppet group perpetrate a military provocation for igniting a war against the DPRK in any area including the five islands in the West Sea of Korea or in the area along the Military Demarcation Line, it will not be limited to a local war, but develop into an all-out war, a nuclear war.

It is self-evident that any military conflict on the Korean Peninsula is bound to lead to an all-out war, a nuclear war now that even U.S. nuclear strategic bombers in its military bases in the Pacific including Hawaii and Guam and in its mainland are flying into the sky above south Korea to participate in the madcap DPRK-targeted nuclear war moves.

The first strike of the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK will blow up the U.S. bases for aggression in its mainland and in the Pacific operational theatres including Hawaii and Guam and reduce not only its military bases in south Korea but the puppets' ruling institutions including Chongwadae and puppet army's bases to ashes at once, to say nothing of the aggressors and the provokers.

3. The DPRK will never miss the golden chance to win a final victory in a great war for national reunification.

This war will not be a three day-war but it will be a blitz war through which the KPA will occupy all areas of south Korea including Jeju Island at one strike, not giving the U.S. and the puppet warmongers time to come to their senses, and a three-dimensional war to be fought in the air, land and seas and on the front line and in the rear.

This sacred war of justice will be a nation-wide, all-people resistance involving all Koreans in the north and the south and overseas in which the traitors to the nation including heinous confrontation maniacs, warmongers and human scum will be mercilessly swept away.

No force on earth can break the will of the service personnel and people of the DPRK all out in the just great war for national reunification and of all other Koreans and overpower their might.

Holding in high esteem the peerlessly great men of Mt. Paektu, the Korean people will give vent to the pent-up grudge and realize their cherished desire and thus bring a bright day of national reunification and build the best power on this land without fail.

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It's taken six years for the damage done by George Bush to finally surface, but there it is.

Now we're going to have to offer THEM a stimulus package, rebuild their autobahns, and put their citizens on Obamaphones and food stamps paid for by millionaires and billionnaires. It's a good thing that we have experience and can impress the world with how well we do these things so quickly. FORWARD!

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It is of course running dog Yankee imperialism that has caused the noble workers and peasants of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea to suffer and starve so much after all. It is only proper they be given entitlements and reparations for their suffering.

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While nobody thinks that the Norks would deliberately commit national suicide by actually starting the next Korean War, they have put the stability of the entire peninsula in the hands of the least stable gunner on their side of the DMZ. One mistake, one shot fired will set off the beginning of he end of the Norks, but at a staggering cost in lives lost on both sides of the DMZ. I cannot recall a time when things were more unstable and inflammatory over there.

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Counter Revolutionary Commandant Limbaugh announced that the plan of ICBM attack is aimed at L.A. D.C. and Austin,Texas to wipe out the Samsung Industries complex. All Patriotic Collectives should mobilize on three fronts: 1 supply the DPRK Supreme Command with the precise coordinates for Sean Penn's house. 2 relocate all materials stored in the Library of Congress, Folger Shakespeare Library, National Archive, National Gallery of Art and other Smithsonian collections and treasures worth saving. 3 Aid and abet the escape of erstwhile Congressman Tom Delay from Travis Co. Texas to a secure hideout in Langtry, as he is still under indictment there for alleged campaign law violations. Then relax and enjoy the carnage to come to these Liberal hellholes. Wiping out L.A. alone should bring down the price of regular at least a dime.

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4.) Send Jimmy Carter to live in North Korea as our good will ambassador. Any time they get angry at us they can do whatever they want to him.


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$.$. Halliburton wrote:4.) Send Jimmy Carter to live in North Korea as our good will ambassador. Any time they get angry at us they can do whatever they want to him.
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President Carter thinks on a different plane. He sees the good in evil and the evil in good. Our creator has a sense of humor and must have laughed when he planned President Carter's destination. "Let's make him a peanut farmer because his ideas will be nutty," ... and the clouds of heaven laughed uproariously. This would be from a Calvinist point of view and may not at all have been how it happened. Jimmy Carter might very well have developed his lunacy all on his own with no divine assistance or satanic interference.

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Commissar Wahoo wrote:I cannot recall a time when things were more unstable and inflammatory over there.

Commissar Wahoo - things just became more unstable... our chief peace negotiator has arrived.

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If comrade R.O.C.K. is old enough perhaps his cat & mouse pic was an allusion to the movie: "The Mouse that Roared". If I recall a micro-State happens into possession of a nuclear bomb.Image


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It is time for the Dear Leaders to get together for a Kimchi Submit at the White House. Since their domestic policies are almost identical, I am sure they can find common ground on foreign policy too.
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