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Obama v. Lizard

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RIO DE JANEIRO - AP (Associated Potatoes) - Meanwhile, in other news, today U.S. President B. Hussein Obama attempted and failed to win a stare-down match with Colonel Muamar Gadhafi's pet lizard.

When questioned after the match, White House spokesperson Jay Carney stated that, while Obama believed he could get the upper hand in the contest due to all his years with Michelle, the president had simply not counted on the remarkable resilience of Libyan lizards.

After the press conference, Carney giggled unofficially and said that "The prez got it goin' on, but he ain't no Lizard King."

The president himself was unavailable for comment due to a pressing golf and ice cream schedule.

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Comrade ROCK, you have been misinformed. This was NOT a staring contest. The lizard was actually telling Dear Leader how he could save up to 15% on car insurance, to which the DL replied "Car insurance is going to be free when we force everyone to buy it."

By the way, the guy underneath the lizard does a great impersonation of a cave woman man.

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RIO DE JANEIRO - AP (Associated Potatoes) - Flash Update!
It has just been learned that, immediately following his humiliating defeat by a pet lizard, President B. Hussein Obama took his family up onto The Mountain for a chat with God.

White House press spokesunit Jay Carney assured reporters that there is no truth to the rumor that the president has obtained a new set of stone tablets or, if he has in fact obtained new commandments, the most transparent White House in history will pass them on to Congress for approval prior to his signature.

Spokesunit Carney privately told reporters that the president isn't worried about saving money on his car insurance, and that - since he's got the whole world in his hands - the president is much more concerned with schoolyard bullies, for the children™.

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I am suspicious of first picture. It appears that Dear Leader is Receiving bow, not offering bow to Mooslim leader. This does not fit previous documented actions, therefore suspect. Who does investigations around here?

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We all do, Tovarichi. Each citizen must remain vigilant in the war against the decadent and the counterrevolutionary. Any of us can denounce anyone else, if we have evidence they've acted in a counterrevolutionary manner. Or evidence you suspect they've acted in a counterrevolutionary manner. Or evidence that your intution tells you that someday they will act in a counterrevolutionary manner. Or evidence that you just don't like them. Especially if there is "something fishy", be sure to report it at the Dear Leader's website:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/Facts-A ... rn-Things/

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Is that some leftover steak MOO-chelle is trying to hide under that fashionista burkha she's wearing? And if you ask me, that statue in the background is a very poor rendering of MOO-hammed[PBUH]: where's the AK-47 and the nuclear bomb turban?

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What is he doing meeting with his friend Quaddi.... Gadhaffi's.... Kaduffy?.... *&%$! I thought he was going on a vacation toBrassiere.... Brazil? And why is he doing to see any "mountain for a chat with God"...when he can talk to himself at any time. I am finding this whole topic suspicious!!

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:...I am finding this whole topic suspicious!!
Fraulein, I officially denouncing this whole topic (except for the lizard).

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Dearest Frau, your BS meter is yet again spot on. But no need for denouncements just yet ROCK. Not just yet...

It seems this "lizard" is actually a CIA manufactured spybot gone rogue! It was originally designed to shimmy up trees and what not to report back what any given Achmed was up to. Dastardly, no!?

But in 2005, an unnamed Comrade (Czarweary) fed it poppy tea and it freaked out! Intel reports that it spent a few years in Mexico ripping up bars and harassing prostitutes before it finally resigned itself to seeking out men's hats to perch upon and goad passersby into staring contest. All for profit mind you.

In 2009, Quadaffi purchased it to amuse his buxom security team and the rest is history.

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Comrade Buffoon, mucho gracious for your clear clarification. But does this mean that a CIA manufactured syybot spit on dear Leader??! Most vile.

ah ha, a most wise decision Comarde R.O.C.K. You will surely progressive most progressively in the Cube (if not anywhere else in the world). Carry on!

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:does this mean that a CIA manufactured spybot spit on dear Leader??!

No, it just means Dear Leader is handling the important matters of the day such as engaging in staring contest with future belts...


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ThePeoplesComrade wrote:
daffy.jpg

I award this graphic back and forth a one each pretty girl singing a pretty White Stripes song!



will someone please fire me? Please?

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Comrade Buffoon wrote:will someone please fire me? Please?
I denounce this firing request!!!

But just in case:

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Comrade Buffoon wrote:will someone please fire me? Please?
I will be contacting your union representative on your behalf. You cannot be fired, even by request.

Hey, EVERYBODY! Listen up! Let's show these corporate pigs who owns this company for treating Comrade Buffoon like dirt on the bottom of their Gucci loafers! Let's head for the gates and lock them down!! Does a man not own the sweat of his brow? And if so shouldn't he be able to fire his own sweat?! FIRING BY REQUEST NOW!

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:
Comrade Buffoon wrote:will someone please fire me? Please?
I denounce this firing request!!!

But just in case:

LighterCube.jpg


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1. I denounce all the denouncing!!

2. Not one is to fired!! We are owed: 90 paid personal days; 90 paid vacation days; 98 paid sick days; plus the added Federal, state and loyal paid holidays. . . and "oops, I'm late for work" flexible days. It is our dedicated obligation to be at work 87 days, comrades!

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What Gulag do you farm, Frauline? In only 87 days I cannot harvest enough beets to feed village and have some left for family.

You must have Government Union job...

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We must work 87 days but each day we need coffee break, tea break, chocolate milk break, beer break, vodka break, and break break. And 2 1/2 hours off for lunch.

We work very very very hard! But first, we drink.

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Tovarichi wrote:What Gulag do you farm, Frauline? In only 87 days I cannot harvest enough beets to feed village and have some left for family.

You must have Government Union job...

The Peoples Gulag, of course!! We have an abundance of Union special rights, just the way it should be if it weren't for capitalist.

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