Obama wants to know who you really are

1/8/2011, 5:51 pm

Obama Eyeing Internet ID for Americans

This story originally appeared on CNET

STANFORD, Calif. - President Obama is planning to hand the U.S. Commerce Department authority over a forthcoming cybersecurity effort to create an Internet ID for Americans, a White House official said here today.

It's "the absolute perfect spot in the U.S. government" to centralize efforts toward creating an "identity ecosystem" for the Internet, White House Cybersecurity Coordinator Howard Schmidt said.

That news, first reported by CNET, effectively pushes the department to the forefront of the issue, beating out other potential candidates including the National Security Agency and the Department of Homeland Security. The move also is likely to please privacy and civil liberties groups that have raised concerns in the past over the dual roles of police and intelligence agencies.

The announcement came at an event today at the Stanford Institute for Economic Policy Research, where U.S. Commerce Secretary Gary Locke and Schmidt spoke.
The Obama administration is currently drafting what it's calling the National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace, which Locke said will be released by the president in the next few months. (An early version was publicly released last summer.)

Well comrades, the People's Cube has lead the way in this endeavor. Our Commissars have long kept each and every one of you under our prying watchful eyes. Soon the regime will have a way to know who supports or opposes their agenda. The days of hiding behind your avatar and screen name is drawing to an end. Only those who are "trusted" will be able to post.

I also look forward to the implementation of Net Neutrality which will make every post most equal in every way. All posts will become funny, substantial and garner an equal number of comments. All images posted will be equal in every way. No longer will certain un-named photoshoppers like Maksim or even the People's Director monopolize the available talent ration. All images will be equally amusing and properly sized.

Now is your last chance to comment on the wisdom of this policy and in so doing demonstrate your loyalty.

1/8/2011, 8:47 pm

Does this come with an implant of any kind? Something we could just wave at the computer and get logged on and counted?

1/8/2011, 9:33 pm

Comrades,

Prog OFF

I wonder if this works both ways?

Prog ON

1/8/2011, 10:15 pm

I guess it is time to start hoarding political cartoons....................

1/8/2011, 11:40 pm

Commissar Ivan Betinov said;"[highlight=#ffff99]Does this come with an implant of any kind? Something we could just wave at the computer and get logged on and counted?[/highlight]".

The proper memos are not getting out there people/whatever. Who's in charge of Kollective memos anyway? Better late than never. Yes, it does come with an implant. Implanted where you may ask? That's a little delicate. Lets just say that all those alien abductions were not by aliens and all those Anal Probings were not in vain. Now about waving it at the computer? Remember the old song "Shake Your Booty"?

Komrade Double D,
Hoarding? This may have to be reported..........................

Comrade Tooorisky,
Unit is AC/DC if that's what you mean.

1/9/2011, 2:32 am

AC and DC? Does that mean it goes both ways? MOST EQUAL!

1/9/2011, 2:56 am

Oh, goody! A government-issued Internet ID is an electronic mark which will identify each of us as members of The Collective, i.e. those who have surrendered their free will to the power of the state and potentially given it complete control over their thoughts and actions in return for permission to continue buying and selling things and to live their grubby little lives. I guess Obama DOES read a lot of books... I wonder when the Four Horsemen are going to show up?

1/9/2011, 8:31 am

Opiate of the People wrote:...I wonder when the Four Horsemen are going to show up?

If you're refering to the only "Four Horsemen" of any notoriety, that would be Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn and Ole Anderson, then you're going to have a long wait.

1/9/2011, 3:35 pm

This proves once again that Dear Leader is one of us. And what a fancy name Dear Leader has thought up:

National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace

In Obama We Trust

1/9/2011, 3:55 pm

Leninka.....
I, Krasnodar, Vagabond of the Outer Parts, think that the Collective has the ability to create a name / acronym for these services our government wants to force upon.......
give to us.

1/9/2011, 4:29 pm

Comrades,

Fairness Always a Quagmire, call it the FA-Q system for Internet dispersal.

This may bring to mind other combinations of two words that are more familar, but this is, clearly, not the intent.

1/9/2011, 6:25 pm

Here's one:

President
Says
You
Can
Have
Only
Targeted
Identities in
Cyberspace

1/9/2011, 7:57 pm

(National Strategy for Trusted Identities in Cyberspace) hmmmmmm...............

Maybe "Speak softly, but carry a big frackN-STIC"

1/10/2011, 12:41 pm

Do we not love the way dear benevolent Leader uses his power? No sense in wasting time with Congress, when he can just dictate mandate what is going to be done.
Yes, I think we shall all rest easier to night. cough cough

1/20/2011, 2:15 pm

This only makes sense. After all, you never know who might be out there trying to harm you through the internet.

1/20/2011, 2:46 pm

The President's plan for Interweb Security has been released for Inner Party review.

Please advise.

1/20/2011, 11:54 pm

Comrade Chedoh,
That looks like "Hell Boy II"

Comrade INGSOC,
Nice cover for the new manual, but best to keep that one internally. We'll need a happy one for the masses to see. Something with unicorns or bunnies? Yes, that's it! Cute little bunnies and just in time for the Easter Spring Solstice Holiday.

1/21/2011, 12:22 pm

Grigori E.R. wrote:Comrade INGSOC,
Nice cover for the new manual, but best to keep that one internally. We'll need a happy one for the masses to see. Something with unicorns or bunnies? Yes, that's it! Cute little bunnies and just in time for the Easter Spring Solstice Holiday.

But it has pink in it and mentions the childrens and dolphins. Also the enforcement drones will be programed to be incredibly polite and speak thirteen different languages in four dialects each.

If you insist altering the presentation please review and comment;

1/21/2011, 1:29 pm

Very good Comrade INGSOC. Bunnies and kittens are always effective.

That Comrade in the car? He looks familiar:

Any ideas Comrades?

1/21/2011, 2:15 pm

Apparently, our most Gracious Leader, Light and Guide, Great Helmsman wants to keep us safe from the anonymous internet.But who is really behind the anonymous Internet?

I denounce Internet anonymity! The evil Internet must not grant anonymity. The net must exist to provide us with equal oportunities to denounce the most people ever in mankind human-beings history!!

By the way, the SSSR has been providing us, The useful idiot peasants People, with electronic ID cards for some years now, allowing us identify ourselves electronically. We beated you... again.

1/22/2011, 12:25 am

Comrade Katpain Moskovskaya,

"[highlight=#ffff99]the SSSR has been providing us, The [/highlight][highlight=#ffff99]useful idiot peasants[/highlight][highlight=#ffff99] People, with electronic ID cards for some years now, allowing us identify ourselves electronically.[/highlight]"

Some things the People do not need to know. Like driver's licenses that they used to receive on the spot and now take 2 to 3 weeks to process. Wink, wink................

Comrades,
That driver in the car? I enhanced the image and am still wondering who that is:

Looks even more familiar now. Any ideas Brothers and Sisters?

A ONE-TIME DONATION

Click, then choose the amount

A MONTHLY DONATION

select a level of your attachment

Get in line at our People's State-Run Dry Goods Store #86

The People's Cube

Guaranteed equality of results for only $10 capitalist exploitation units

Hotel USSR

Shakedown Socialism

Obama Eyeing Internet ID for Americans

You've been counted, Thought Criminal #

A ONE-TIME
DONATION

A MONTHLY
DONATION