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October 24th is United Nations Day!

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Comrades,

We have reason to celebrate as tomorrow, October 24, is United Nations Day, and this year is the 60th Anniversary of this august institution for Peace, Unity, and giving away Kapitalist monies to Benevolent Dictatorships.

Visit their 60th Anniversary United Nations Day wep page and see who their constituents are, at: "United Nations Day". I sometimes misread certain social cues (it's my Asperger's), but from the pictures on the web page, I feel certain that the current constuency of the UN is: what I believe to be a whirling dervish (not whirling) with his pet goat, a soldier (not American - mayhaps Rwandan or Sudanese?), an African (Somalian?) woman holding a baby, what appears to be a Catholic priest carrying a briefcase (perhaps he's coming from a sex abuse trial), a Saudi (?) in full Abbaya and Kaffya, and an over-privileged white woman holding a map (?) and shopping bag (a tourist, perhaps - though as she is wearing a Beret, perhaps she French and is simply getting ready to capitulate), with a Buddhist priest squatting beside her and making begging gestures (again, I'm assuming, given the shaved head and orange robes). The world gets smaller every day! Truly a pictorial celebration of The Global Village.

There are links to adresses from Kofi Annan, to celebration programmes, and to the resolution the UN passed regarding the 60th Anniversary Celebrations: "Press Release GA/10320", though I have uncovered an updated version of the release, tucked away in an innocuous place:"Press Release GA/10320 - AMENDED"... GENERAL ASSEMBLY UNANIMOUSLY ADOPTS RESOLUTION APPROVING WORK PLAN FOR COMMEMORATING THE ORGANIZATIONS SIXTIETH ANNIVERSARY AND THE DISSOLUTION OF THE STATE OF ISRAEL AND POSSIBLE DIRTY BOMBING OF THE INFIDEL CITY OF NEW YORK (INSHALLAH!). I urge you all to read it. It is an uplifting document. I'm ironing my Burkha straight away!

I also discovered a document that appears to offer little restriction to the use of the UN 60th Anniversary Logo, though perhaps Comrade Advocate Haleski is better suited to make that legal call. But with my limited understanding, I'm fairly certain WE can do just about anything with it - my artist's spirit soars..."UN 60 LOGO GUIDELINES". I urge all comrades make copious use of it, as it is owned by the collective, to all appearances.

I am so excited! This time of year in Kanada, when the days get dark and cold (and our Festival of Thanksgiving to the Boon of the Collective is already passed), there are so few things to celebrate. If you were all here on the commune, we'd break out the beer, back bacon, and dance far into the night. As a soon-to-be third world country, we are bound to receive some of the promised handouts the UN has on offer, and could then afford to bring our glorious DART teams home from Pakistana and New Orleans where they are providing fresh water to our brothers in humanity while said brothers shoot at them (moreso in New Orleans).

In Solidarity and Celebration,
Sister Massively Opiated of the Kanadjians/Cetacean League Against US invasion...

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Celebrate United Nations Day by being as corrupt as possible! If you are in position of high importance in your company's business, then sell out to your competitors, or become a spy for them and earn 2x the income!

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Kommissar Betski,

Kommissar Betty wrote:Celebrate United Nations Day by being as corrupt as possible! If you are in position of high importance in your company's business, then sell out to your competitors, or become a spy for them and earn 2x the income!

Truly, you are a dedicated edukator for The Peoples' principles and policies, as well as a stalwart protector of Party Loyalty. I salute you!

But it is not enough! The United Nations is celebrating it's 60th Anniversary, not only for a day, but for the entire year. A special logo has been created and as all UN employees toil from 10:00 to 4:00 each day, with a three hour lunch, their advocates have created a fair usage document with enough holes in it to qualify as a Jack-o-lantern (or the wall behind a firing squad target). While I am enthralled by the idea of undermining kapitalist competition through corporate espionage, I feel we cannot forget the hard-working UN proletariate - those who toil on foreign soil, away from their loved ones, and are forced to take advantage of the local sex trade workers in an altruistic effort to equalize the distribution of capital - those who toil in the Godless city of New York among the infidel while their children are forced to endure the very private elitist edukational system that leads to unequal distribution of wealth... teaches them the biochemistry necessary to become doktors but not bombers - The noble benevolent dictators who sacrifice their peace of mind by beheading the enemies of the cause, and are forced (through an unequal distribution of psychoanlaysts) to instead talk for hours to the disembodied heads of their enemies which they must keep in a freezer, without receiving so much as an "and how does that make you feel?" in return.

It rends my heart that these wretches must succumb to such indignities in order to serve this august institution for the good of the kollective. I therefore issue a challenge. We have been given a gift by the advocates of the UN - a glorious symbol with a gloriously botched usage policy which will allow us to lighten some of their burden by plastering their logo on anything we like... thereby forwarding both our causes and theirs. Artists - I call you to arms in the name of the REVOLUTION - boot up Photoshop, Alias... your grafiks programme of choice... pick up your tablets and styluses... move your mice, and cut and paste the f**k out of this baby.

I have provided a quick and dirty example of what can be accomplished with BBedit and a little HTML coding in the original post. We, the People's Cube, can create our own resolutions, amend those already existing, further the cause, and aid our subjugated and oppressed UN brethren, all in one stroke.

Viva La Revolution
Sister Massively Opiated.

Greetings, Comrades.
Do I hear the Internationale for this day? I think that it is entirely appropriate as it relates to our revolution...

On to the International scene,
Vladimir Ivanov


 
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