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Pelosi's Curtains - The Broadway Musical

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Although old grudges and purges between Nancy and Hillary are all behind us now, the epic story of Nancy Pelosi's curtains and Chairman Punchenko's quest to retrieve them has now become a celebrated Broadway musical.

The plot is a highly educational story involving a Party purge, $oft ca$h, Cap'n Crunch, some feces, Nancy's golden doors decorated with symbolic figures of suffering minorities, some love letters, cla$$ $truggle, battle scenes, and much, much more. (Music by Mulva Goldbook).

Socialist Realism in action! https://curtainsthemusical.com

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I'm sure our Chairman P. (above, holding the large People's magnifying glass) has been part of the production and is itching to share the story with us.


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You have NO IDEA how much soft-ca$h it took to get David Hyde Pierce to play me. That S.O.B doesn't work for cheap... I only wish I could've gotten Kelsey Grammer to play Cap'n Crunch as well. On a more cheerful note, the Party did manage to get Liza Minnelli to play the Madame Speaker. I just knew she would be PERFECT for the role (emotionally unstable, drunkard, insane, man/womyn/thing cross breed.... ITS GOLD, COMRADES, PURE GOLD!)


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Yes, Comrades... I am in fact the self-absorbed genius behind this tale of Party intrigue. Ugh... where does one begin? Well, it all started on a sunny Californian day when Crunch and I were sitting down to a nice cup of tea and a large pile of cocaine (followed by lunch and a troupe of dancing coked up drag queens)... It was then when the soon-to-be newly anointed Madame Speaker rolled up in her SUV from out of the thicket, ran down comrade Crunch, stumbled out of the vehicle, and then begun pissing all over the poor defenseless bastard in a rage of revolutionary zeal. Her Grace saw the fear in my eyes and then threw me down flat on my face (I soiled myself, naturally) as she then began to make her way into my vacation Dacha in search of my precious drapes.

Yes, I will never forget the sight of her shedding her pantsuit and grabbing a large clump of excrement to smear all over my newly purchased drapery. Oh the horror I endured as I watched her smear the chunky brown filth all over my drapes! WHY!? WHY MY DRAPES, YOU MONSTER!? Of course she didn't bother to defile anything else of extreme value, no - she only busied herself with my drapes as she cackled away at my writhering torment. I of course recovered until she took my pet snake - whom I named Hillary in honor of Her Excellency - and snapped its little neck <sigh>. After bearing witness to all that horror I finally passed out due to excessive fear... I later regained consciousness three hours later (or so I'm told) and found myself lying in a puddle of my own urine. Looking over to my right, I saw a bruised and battered comrade Crunch lying next to me... he was also lying in a puddle of urine, I'm not sure if it was mine, his or the Madame Speakers - but it was certainly a puddle of urine.
OK, so I recouped and moved on… It took some time, therapy and a truck load of medication and booze to finally put the past behind me…. Or so I thought! It was a cold a damp night in D.C and Crunchie and I were walking (I was walking, he was in a wheel-chair) through Georgetown only to witness more horror which I will kindly re-post to spare myself from the repressed memories.

Chairman Punchenko wrote:No I don't agree with that. I can care less about the damn children; if I cared about the children I wouldn't be so damn eager to raise their parent's taxes. Patooey on the children, I fear for MY life with this monster.

Marshal Pravda, another terrible thing happened to me last night, and I was afraid to tell the collective... I am afraid because I don't know who here might be working for the Pelosivich. *sigh* I guess, well, we won't be seeing comrade crunchie anymore....

It happened last night, I decided to pick up comrade Crunch from his basement and take him out for some fresh air. Now I know better to walk around D.C at night due partly to the rising tide of Pelosipires who stalk the streets sniffing out new prey. But I had to help comrade Crunch, he cannot be seen in public anymore in the light of day due to his gross deformities, it is as if the "pee" mutated him into an even more hideous hunchback than he previously was. It is phenomenal, but disturbing!

So there we were comrade crunch and I. We were taking a stroll outside Georgetown, me in my fine Italian shoes and him in his cheap moldy sandals. Usually I carry large wads of money in my overcoat, but not this night Marshal Pravda, no, this time I decided to tuck it into crunchies windbreaker instead in the event of a mugging. Looking back it was a good decision, for my sake at least. Crunchie and I came up to a dark alley full of very inexpensive hookers, and I, in a generous mood, was willing to foot the bill to help crunchie experience the joys of beltway life, unfortunately they turned him down and said they would rather settle for a diseased corpse.

I felt sorry for crunchie, so I decided to ditch him in the alley and walk into the club next door. To my surprise I saw Mayor Berry there at the club, and me and my many swanky escorts had drinks with other various members of our government and laughed of times past. I had a great time till I got the bill, it was then I realized crunchie still had my stash stuffed securely in his tattered soiled windebreaker. Well, stumbling about I made my way to the alley, there I saw crunchie slumped over unconscious and nearly frost bitten, he awoke a began mumbling subtle obscenities in his delerious stupor but I paid little attention to his bitching. I was sooo relieved though to see my money safely secured in his pocket, so I took a couple a hundred dollars and went inside for a little while longer leaving him behind. I mean really, I don't want him making me look bad in the club in front of my elitist friends, hes better off in the cold anyways, builds character. OK, so I FINALLY get done drinking after six or seven more hours later and go back outside to check on him, he was still slumped over and the same as when I ditched him, mumbling those obscenities and slipping in and out of conciousness, but it was at that moment, that still dreadfully painful moment when they swooped down on him.

PELOSIPIRES! Yes, I heard the stories, these strange creatures that will sniff out large sums of campaign cash and attack the un-suspecting victim. At first I didn't believe it, but when I saw them drag crunchie away and fly off with him into the night sky, well, lets just say I am a member of the faithful now. It was terrible, his little arms jerking about in desperation as they flew him away to their cruel master in the Capitol. All I remember from that point was his shrill mumbling as he disappeared into the horizon in the creature's claws. It was fearsome, but I am happy I survived. The morning after the incident I awoke refreshed -- a little disappointed though that I lost a few dollars to the Pelosipire that was tucked in crunchies pocket, but nonetheless refreshed. I don't know what they will do to him, and for that matter I really don't care. One thing that is certain though is I am more than positive it will involve poo smearing and a painful demise.

Comrades, we are facing a new breed of evil. An evil we cannot understand because it is far more evil than ourselves. I suggest all to be careful when carrying large wads of tax-dollars or campaign contributions. And until we purge the Queen Pelosivich, the Pelosipires will not stop, it will not stop until the "healing begins". Healing of course being a clever word for our PURGE.

We have been warned.... We must move quickly to stop this "thing" which begats other winged "things" and sucks our pockets dry of all those lovely hard stolen tax dollars.

To be continued...

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:You have NO IDEA how much soft-ca$h it took to get David Hyde Pierce to play me. That S.O.B doesn't work for cheap...
... and then begun pissing all over the poor defenseless bastard in a rage of revolutionary zeal. Her Grace saw the fear in my eyes and then threw me down flat on my face (I soiled myself, naturally) as she then began to make her way into my vacation Dacha in search of my precious drapes.... I later regained consciousness three hours later (or so I'm told) and found myself lying in a puddle of my own urine. Looking over to my right, I saw a bruised and battered comrade Crunch lying next to me... he was also lying in a puddle of urine, I'm not sure if it was mine, his or the Madame Speakers - but it was certainly a puddle of urine.

My God... the production values!!!... Not only Golden Doors but Golden Showers as well!!!


 
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