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People's Court Orders Abortion Meds for Grade Schoolers

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The Federal People's Court of Brooklynabad has ordered that grade-schoolers be provided abortion pills over the counter to prevent the birth of unwanted or non-permitted workers and peasants.

The American College of Euthanasiac Obstetricians and Gynecologists has agitated for several years for this improvement in medical services through the removal of their medical supervision of the administration of these drugs.

The College stated that doctors are unnecessary when it comes to abortion in the early stages, and medications that prevent pregnancy or induce early labor should be made available to all citizens, thus reducing their own labor quotas while also providing better treatment by one's self-administration of medications, which only occasionally have side effects.

The Committee for Parental Supervision of the Department of Mandatory Health is also drafting regulations that will punish parents for interfering their children's' rights to abortion medications.

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Party officials have stressed that those taking such pills should not consider themselves as being forced into ‘self-treatment,' since the state is working on plans to implement free healthcare, which will include free abortive medications under the category of ‘free birth control' fought for by the courageous Hero of Sexual Collectivization, Comrade Sandra Fluke.

State medical authorities have stressed that Socialist communes such as Canada and the European Union of Socialist Republics have held a similar policy, and noted their success in plunging their overall birthrates below replacement levels in keeping with Party goals of reducing populations so as to provide better services to fewer Proletariat.

These low birthrates also allow for larger quotas of immigrant workers and peasants from over-crowded and under-developed nations, who are much easier to form into Socialists given their general obedience to authority and comfort with compulsory collective activities.

Obstetricians and Gynecologists have long seen pregnancy as a treatable disorder, especially among the poor and minorities.

By cooperating with the Party, these doctors have collectivized into a union which will eventually succeed in entirely eliminating the dreaded disease of pregnancy, which is now going the way of Polio through the commitment of the Party to conception-free sex.

Citizens, let the children abort their children with free drugs! No prescriptions for abortion medications!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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Just don't call them "high capacity magazines."

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Does this mean all male comrades must limit their, er...shots to 10 or less?

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While our promiscuous grade school girls may now anonymously be relieved of the punishments of their own decisions, in order to protect their privacy; for their own safety under "zero tolerance" rules, they still require written parental permissions to take an aspirin for the cramps during the school day. It's for the Children!

When regulations conflict, go FORWARD!

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Dear Comrades,

We all know that standard, heterosexual, monogamous sex is rape, especially for the woman. This is why impregnation through this type of intercourse has to be restricted not through self-control, but the destruction of the institution called ‘marriage' which tends to contain this type of intercourse. This is why ‘gay marriage' and other forms of household formation are so important to the Party.

By definition, school-age children cannot engage in this type of traditional behavior, which is why the Party does not restrict it. Once a woman reaches maturity, it is the Party's plan that she will be no longer interested in the subtleties of marital intercourse through years of pre-adult sex. If she decides to have a child, it will be out-of-wedlock so that the child will become immediately reliant on the Fatherhood of the State, which then gives the Party a natural relationship with the child through state agencies, such as schools and day-care programs, as well as regulated TV and the Collective Media.

However, since counter-revolutionaries are still tracking under-age pregnancies for the purposes of their propaganda, the Party must make all efforts to curtail such pregnancies. Of course, if some other pregnancies get in the way, well, we know about cracking eggs to make omelets.

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Stop the dreaded disease of teen pregnancy with the free abortion pill!

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I just inserted two new posters into the lead article. I don't even know which one is creepier. Is it permissible for a high-ranking Party official to be scared?

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While Rethugglikans breathe, we should all be scared...

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And don't forget, comrades - once Obamacare is fully implemented, even if you or your children are punished with a baby, it won't be too late!


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Free pills are going to put me out of business.


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In the good olden days, all we needed was reminded of what the devil will do to you for bad misbehaviors. Having bastards... all those unwanted fetus's is certainly, unwanted!

Scary picture on wall was enough to keep the peoples in line. I am thinking such pictorial would be of good use today! Have this actuate photo of Devil in every dorm and doorway of schooling houses.

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