Comrades,

I saw this desperate plea for help on Facebook. Is there anyone who can help out this poor prog who is axing (does Comrade Dr. Worddust use one of those?) for advice? You see, Comrades, she doesn't want to lose the welfare benefits for which she worked so hard.

It's kind of like Commissar Boxer who worked so hard for the title Senator and doesn't appreciate a simple brigadier general (small font size to illustrate how much lower he is than Senator Boxer) calling her ma'am!

Business has been slow for the Official Remover of Limbs. However, I have a Party Approved side job as Comrade "Rip the Magician". I have passed your kind posting of this Comrade in distress along to my superiors and they are reassigning the young lady from Medical Assistant to Magicians Assistant. This will allow me to cut her problems in half. This part of the act often slays the Assistant rather than the audience but there is no better way to learn than through experience and at any rate after the show the young Comrade will not have to divide her section 8 into section 4. One must wear many faces to solve the problems of the Proletariat. Fear not Comrades, be creative, all is possible, FORWARD!

Redistribute ill gotten gains! Entitlements for ALL!

What a gem! It's a good thing Comrade Linen found this adorable plea for more help (on Facebook of all places). Yes dear, we can help you. The crucial word used in your supplication is "merry". Why get merry'd when you can keep pumping out bastards, and additional assistance, faster than Rush Limbaugh plows through his supply of Oxycontin? Just relax watch a few hours of MSNBC and listen to Barbara Streisand CDs while waiting for your next check. I know the 1st of the month is always a tedious stretch (day after day - year after year), but what else is there to look forward to?

Comrade Dr. Worddust, first, congratulations on the side job! And you know, it just occurred to me....this poor prog was denied Kommon Kore math. She should go back to school and learn that she needs to forget the dude who wants to merry her. Instead, she should just increase her brood to 19. Think of all the new benefits she could earn! And now that a certain other television show about 19 kids is off the air, naturally TLC would be looking for a replacement. "19 kids on welfare and counting!" Why, she could move on up to the deluxe Section 32 or Section 64 with that!

Well, she will need to go to The People's Service and sign a few documents.

I am in boo-hoo tears for this poor womyn -- laboring hard at labor; deprived of legal aid for a prenup so that she has to beg for one through her Obamaphone or other Obamanet device; probably getting paper cuts from opening her welfare check every month; having to show Welfare-suppressing photo ID in order to cash same check; waiting and waiting and waiting for the subsidized home to which she has so long been entitled -- oh, it is simply too much to contemplate. We must all go loot and pillage protest before whatever office is responsible for this lack of Social Justice.™

(When we loot and pillage protest, I call dibs on a new washer, dryer, and microwave. I already have plenty of toilet paper from the previous protest.)

Yes, it's bad enough that she has to show her voter suppressing ID card just to cash all the checks but Comrades we must look beyond this unpleasantness as there is a rainbow of good social justice news.....

Our glorious Department of Housing and Urban Development has stepped up and magically created a new law out of thin air in which towns and cities must begin diversification of the wealthier suburbs and neighborhoods by building Section 8 government housing in these areas. Comrades our HUD is working with communities ( mostly with co-operative legislatures which will empower regional planning commissions to override local governments) communities across the fruited plain will fulfill the promise of equal opportunity for everyone!

Comrades we are finally punishing the wealthy and empowering those working for social justice and change. Yes, one glorious day in the not too distant future, we will all live in a centrally planned sustainable regional utopia section, shared (redistribution) wealth (privilege) and once and for all end global warming by emphasizing the greater good by breaking down these barriers in those communities of privilege.

trashmouth wrote:Yes, it's bad enough that she has to show her voter suppressing ID card just to cash all the checks but Comrades we must look beyond this unpleasantness as there is a rainbow of good social justice news.....

Our glorious Department of Housing and Urban Development has stepped up and magically created a new law out of thin air in which towns and cities must begin diversification of the wealthier suburbs and neighborhoods by building Section 8 government housing in these areas. Comrades our HUD is working with communities ( mostly with co-operative legislatures which will empower regional planning commissions to override local governments) communities across the fruited plain will fulfill the promise of equal opportunity for everyone!

Comrades we are finally punishing the wealthy and empowering those working for social justice and change. Yes, one glorious day in the not too distant future, we will all live in a centrally planned sustainable regional utopia section, shared (redistribution) wealth (privilege) and once and for all end global warming by emphasizing the greater good by breaking down these barriers in those communities of privilege.

Tovarisch, Trashmouth!

It's simply that crime doesn't pay in poor neighborhoods (AKA, Da hood™ ). Such things discriminate against the poor are the reason we must have Social Justice™ and Economic Justice™ …

…Note: Due to the Fundamental Change, the Department of Justice will now be known as the Department of Social Justice.

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:Comrade Dr. Worddust, first, congratulations on the side job! And you know, it just occurred to me....this poor prog was denied Kommon Kore math. She should go back to school and learn that she needs to forget the dude who wants to merry her. Instead, she should just increase her brood to 19. Think of all the new benefits she could earn! And now that a certain other television show about 19 kids is off the air, naturally TLC would be looking for a replacement. "19 kids on welfare and counting!" Why, she could move on up to the deluxe Section 32 or Section 64 with that!

Comrade Vlad Linen,

You underestimate yourself. Your Section 8 Multiplication Advancement Plan is worthy as a 101 or 102 Course in "Class Warfare as Flash Card Redistribution Math." However, advanced courses for ranking Party Members teach that you can promise them anything but can only give them fish egg oil.

Our promised entitlements cannot be met as we have successfully destroyed the means of production. The Proletariat remains blissfully unaware that the producers of wealth have been purged and the goose that used to lay the golden eggs has been cooked and served for dinner at the White Red House.

The Unreality TV show you propose has great propaganda merit and offers the citizen Hope for Change by next Tuesday. In reality in Newark, Camden, Detroit, Oakland and other bastions of Great Leaders Economic Success it is Party Policy to fund the abortion centers and save the money that would otherwise be wasted on insignificant brats children of the masses when it could be put to more productive use by Great Leader Obama, his wife Moochele and other notable, intelligent and deserving high-ranking Party Members like Hillary and Nancy.

Party Members must Golf, Travel and Entertain in a style befitting their Elite Appetites Collective Stature, and it does cost the Party money to supply the rusty blades necessary for my work, they do not grow on trees, (haha, that is a joke from my previous profession as Tree Surgeon.)

Comrade Vlad, hold up before you purchase attorney fees for the damsel in distress. Apparently, she's been around the urban legend circuit:

https://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/section8.asp

Shame, that so cynical an obvious Rethugglikan can so mock those with lack of access to such basic things as prenuptuals.

Comrade Kelly, oh no! And to think I was trying to be a good prog and help her. But it's all a spoof. And here I thought that she was desperately pleading for the assistance of Comrade Dr. Worddust and his rusty tools when she mentioned "axing". And now I find out that people don't really write this way? How dare those racist rethugs make fun of people like this!

Comrade Dr. Worddust, so true. We can promise them all sorts of things and charge them lots of money for indoctrination education. And like you said, they can find out later that we can't provide. You know, that was then this is now and all that. But nevertheless we need to spend more on education!

And I definitely understand about the rusty blades. This is a significant item in the People's Budget. We need to tax the rich™ some more for this because we cannot possibly ask our glorious Party Leaders to take a reduction in their numerous perks and benefits.

And like I said to Comrade Kelly, it is just awful that this whole thing turned out to be just a spoof. I thought she was desperately calling for your assistance when she mentioned "axing".

I fear for whatever patient she takes care of. Axing to be merried is a big deal too. I predict she doesn't finish the class because she's got baby #3 coming and will just ax babydaddy to live with her.