|The Bush regime will soon end, if not by impeachment, then by the will of The People™. The Republicans are in disarray, the Democrats are united behind our future leader, whoever it may be.|
Regardless, 2009 will usher in glorious changes that only a few years ago seemed decades away.
However comrades there are preparations that need to be made, much work is ahead.
The People's Healthcare is coming and it demands certain behaviors from us. Now is the time to prepare ourselves. Failure to do so could lead to your re-education, or worse.
The USSA's healthcare system will be the envy of the world. To ensure its success, rules need to be followed; after all we are forcing the rich to pay for it.
If a particular behavior or lifestyle results in the state spending its money on others through our soon to come tax-supported health care, the state has a right to intervene. So there will be many state-mandated health and safety laws. After all if a service isn't used, its costs are much lower.
I will list a few of these mandates, so we can get a head start toward compliance.
The most important issue is obesity which makes people more susceptible to diabetes and other diseases which puts strain on The People's Healthcare.
All citizens must meet national weight requirements. Those guilty of being overweight will be sent to re-education centers. A second violation and you're off to a physical fitness prison spa. This is for your own well-being.
The state cares about you, yes it does, and wants to help you succeed, so the state will provide a list of approved food items. Possession of unapproved food will carry harsh penalties.
Banned items will include, but are not limited to, salt, sugar, trans fats, red meats, and etc… Vodka, beets, and other healthy foods will be rationed to avoid abuse, a practice we here at the cube have already successfully implemented.
Smoking will finally be banned completely and will carry a penalty of immediate imprisonment because it’s more dangerous than depleted uranium and there is a consensus that treatment is ineffective.
Risky lifestyles result in injury which puts strain on The People's Healthcare, and they will not be tolerated.
The state will issue a list of outlawed activities which will include, but is not limited to, skydiving, motorcycling, skateboarding, all types of skiing, and any activity the begins with the word extreme, xtreme, or has a X in its title.
An ounce of progressive prevention is worth a pound of socialized care.
Life is full of dangers, and mishaps which can put strain on The People's Healthcare. So it's important that efforts are made to prevent all injuries.
I propose we demand from congress that safety suits be issued by the state and must be worn any time one leaves their home.
Failure to do so should lead to re-education. Failure to dress your children in state issued safety suits should carry a penalty of immediate imprisonment.
I call on the oppressed and downtrodden, contact your congressperson, you have a right to be protected. Free Safety Suits For All!
Now what is needed from all of you is a change in habits and lifestyle. If you are overweight, smoke, or take part in other risky behavior you have less than a year to make changes.
I also recommend you practice standing in line for long periods of time, and next time you're ill see how long you can go without medical treatment.
Both of these exercises will condition your mind and body for what lies ahead.
Although our benevolent progressive leaders do what they can to make re-education and imprisonment as pleasant as possible, it's better for the collective if you always remain in compliance.
So comrades, unless like myself you have politburo connections and you're in possession of an Official Health and Safety Requirement Wavier, you have much work to do.
For The Greater Good™
For The Children™
Let’s Get Going!
Commissar PupovichTobacco being one. IMSO, this should only be a "guideline" for tobacco produced in Amerika. After all, many People's States around the world depend on the cultivation and sell of tobacco products, and we do not wish to cause their workers hardships.
Quote:Secondly I must protest the restriction on bikes, provided of course they are Harley Davidson, old Indians, Triumphs, and a few BMW. These are the only acceptable means of two wheel transportation that a comrade should be allowed.
Commissar Pupovich...that is clearly artificial turf in his wheel, made with global cooling causing chemicals.
Commissar PupovichThen call me a ThoughtCriminal, but I shall not deny the right of Harley and other approved makes as noted above, from spreading their glorious roar across the land. I think you forget something, a Harley has better gas mileage than even most of these hybrids, cause less congestion on the highways, and besides, I look and feel cool when in the wind! Besides, I no longer acknowledge non-person G, his failure to continue global warming is starting to make his cult a mockery, The Party must always be right, so we can not afford to hold on to his failure much longer, No, we should denounce him, and claim we have always opposed his crazed doctrines. No, the time may not be right for this yet, but it is coming, and we must be a step ahead of it.
Maksim MaksimovichCommissar, pardon me for not making this clear.Of course the production and buying and selling of tobacco willcontinue. I do need my prole-made cigars, and Lenin knows that highertobacco taxes are something we can’t live without. As I stated only “smoking” is banned.
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