Comrades, I have great news! Dear Leader President Obama scored LANDSLIDE VICTORIES in BOTH the Kentucky and Arkansas primaries yesterday! Here are the excellent results:

Arkansas - 73 of 75 Counties Reporting
John Wolfe (DEM) 41.62% 67,594
Barack Obama (DEM) 58.38% 94,808
162,402

Source

Kentucky - President (Dem): (119 of 120 counties reporting)
Barack Obama 57.85% 119,284
Uncommitted 42.15% 86,911

Source

These victories come hot on the heels of the President's overwhelming win in West Virginia two weeks ago when he took 60% of the vote against his opponent a convicted felon someone who may have worked at Bain Capital.

The President is definitely on a roll and is racking up votes faster than George Bush has been driving up the national debt since he left office. If this juggernaut continues, there will be no votes left for anyone else!

What is especially interesting to me is that the president's putative "opponent", Mitchell Romney, does not seem to be getting any votes at all! Nada! None! Zilch! He couldn't even muster enough votes to finish ahead of Mr. Uncommitted, let alone the president. Romney must already be so far behind that he has no hope of catching up. I don't understand why he just doesn't give up already. Can't he see it's hopeless and no one wants him to cut their hair, let alone be chief barber? I mean, is it just me or is this Romney guy hopelessly stupid? Maybe he just made so much money closing plants and firing workers that he wants to spend some travelling around the country making speeches and asking for votes he's not going to receive? Talk about hopeless cases. I dunno, I just don't get it myself. What a maroon.

Anyway, congrats to president re-elect Barack Obama ("president re-elect"... I just made that up! Ain't it cool?) as we look forward to six more years under his superb corpseman-ship as head of all 57 states. In the meantime, on to the next primary where I expect he will win another 60% of the votes and Mitch Romney will probably get his usual zero percent. What a goof.

Glorious news comrade!

Dear Leader's glorious evolution should be well received by 119,284 pieces of collective in Kentucky that believe in commitment!

86,911 shall be promised free contraceptives to continue their uncommitted alternative lifestyle.

Our dear leader is on a roll that can not be stopped. Comrade Biden may be holding Obama back. Rumor has it that the bus wheels are heading for Biden and Hillary may be up for joining the ticket. The Clintons are said to be very savvy politicians. Do you suppose, seeing Obama is on a certain path to victory, will Hillary hitch her wagon to Barack's shooting star and grab that second spot from which she will be positioned to grab the first position next time around. Only Obama deniers would believe Hillary won't jump at the chance or that victory is not certain.

On the other hand, will she believe the doubters and seek to avoid assuring her loser legacy. One wonders how many reasonable people would want to hang their legacy hat on a second Obama term. Some may not wish to be remembered, in the event of winning, as being part of the administration who completely destroyed the greatest country ever on earth.

I fear my progressive focus may have drifted slightly to the off position momentarily.

What Glorious News!

It appears is now self-evident that the November "election" will be nothing more than a formality and a waste of money.

Perhaps now is the time to forward the Lists Of Those Persons Being Watched™ to the White House Bureau For Compliance! For that matter, maybe this "election" nonsense can be eliminated completely.

40 More Years! 40 More Years! 40 More Years! (etc., as needed.)