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President Trump to appoint self to Supreme Court

3/3/2016, 5:13 pm
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(Strumming harp music, blurry transition from the present to January 20, 2017, President Donald Trump delivers his inaugural address)

Thank you! Thank you, very much! I mean, sheesh, you guys can stop applauding already! Thank you. Thank you.

You know, this is my first day on the job and people are asking, “What are you going to do to make America great again?” Well, you know, I didn't take on this job to watch Hillary's makeup dry (laughter, applause). So for my first day in office, I think we need to address the vacancy on the Supreme Court. Now Anthony Scalia was a very smart man; he was a very, very good Supreme Court justice, and it's gonna be very hard to replace somebody like him. I thought, you know, where are we gonna get a guy like him? And then I looked in the mirror, you know how much I like doing that, right (laughter)? And so I looked in the mirror and I thought, “genius”. I am going to appoint myself to be the next justice on the Supreme Court (wild applause, whistles).
Now I know someone's gonna come along and say, “Hey! You can't do that – that goes against the Constitution (boos).” You know, separation of powers, blah, blah, blah. Now I have a lot of respect for the Constitution. It was written by some very smart people and it's what helped America to become great in the first place. And it was written so that no one had all the power, you know what I mean? They didn't trust anyone with all the power, not even George Washington, and he was a very, very good man. But here's what they didn't consider: me (very loud cheers).
I mean, think about it. The Constitution was written for losers, and I mean that in a good way. They didn't want some loser to have all the power, and that was a very smart move. I'm a winner (more loud cheers). I have a very-high-IQ. No, really, I do. I'm very rich. I'm really proud of all the money I made. See, I'm a winner. And a genius. You can trust me with all the power because I'm gonna use that power to make America great again (hoots, cheers)!
And when it comes to confirmation by the senate, you know, I'm a deal maker. I'm gonna make the Senate see what a smart move it would be to put me on the Court, and they're gonna pay for it, out of their own pockets. And if they don't confirm me, know what I'll do? I'll just go ahead and confirm myself. Who needs those losers, anyway (more cheers)? The founders, and hey, I love the founders, but you know what? They lived way back then, but this is now. And if we have to suspend the Constitution or the Bill of whatever to make America great again, that's what we're going to do (loud prolonged cheers)!
Thank you, thank you! Hey, may I bless you all. Trump bless America!
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3/3/2016, 9:18 pm
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Muchos spacebos to the Department of Agitprop for the most equal addition.
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3/4/2016, 2:31 am
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Ted Cruz appoints himself as Pope, because preaching to America is not enough.
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3/4/2016, 8:39 am
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At least he'd be a free market pope.
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3/8/2016, 8:57 pm
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Just when you thought were using hyperbole to make a point...

Trump Loyalty.jpg
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3/9/2016, 1:08 am
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Image Komissar al-Blogunov - let's agree to remain objective and not bash any of the candidates here. There are many outlets for this on the world-wide Interwebs.

Objective doesn't necessarily mean neutral - we can extol praise to those we like, or poke fun at certain things, but bashing will lead us to the dark side. I don't want the Cube to resemble today's GOP in this sense.

That said, that picture is a rather humorless interpretation of a playful situation. I know which candidate came up with this criticism, and I happen to like his political ideas in general, but sometimes he comes off as a rather humorless and insecure zealot, as in this instance. I'm sure he's smart enough not to believe it himself, which means he probably thinks we're not smart enough to see through it.

Either way, it's sad - because the objective outcome here is that one candidate projects bombastic fun and wins, while the other one darkly compares him to a Nazi and loses. I just wish they'd stop fighting and team up together against the real adversary.

That's as much bashing as I can deliver and I wish everyone would stay within the same limits.
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3/9/2016, 1:47 am
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Comrade, have you met Godwin and seen his law?
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3/9/2016, 2:39 am
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Hammer and Loupe wrote:Comrade, have you met Godwin and seen his law?

For my fellow Komrades who have never heard of Godwin's Law:

Godwin's Law (also argumentum ad Nazium, reductio ad Hitlerum,[2] or a Hitler Card) was formulated by the attorney Mike Godwin (former general counsel for the Wikimedia Foundation) in the 1990s and states:



As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.

Be sure to read the whole article at RationalWiki.It's got more information than the quote I've posted. Although you may want to ignore the bit on Arken's law, we break that one all the time here at the Kube.
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3/9/2016, 2:58 am
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3/9/2016, 3:47 am
According to Bayesian probability:

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3/9/2016, 4:02 am
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I'd like to see a video of Hitler in the bunker, screaming after he finds out about the Godwin's Law.

[img]/images/Hitler_Godwins_Law.jpg[/img]
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3/10/2016, 6:19 pm
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Red Square wrote:I'd like to see a video of Hitler in the bunker, screaming after he finds out about the Godwin's Law.

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Its not quite him finding out about it for the first time, but he is definitely incensed about it.

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3/11/2016, 5:23 pm
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3/11/2016, 6:31 pm
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Red Square wrote:Image

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I have just been informed of the People's Clipart Stockpile. I look forward to using it in the future.
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3/11/2016, 8:39 pm
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oath1.jpg

Indeed, oaths of allegiance only lead to negative results...

As shown in the example above: because of this particular "oath of allegiance" (and many like it) a thriving colony seceded from the European nurturing breast, and in this way was depraved of the joyful advantages of the currant European Proletarian Bureaucracy.

I am sure that if mr Young (the person signing the above oath) would live now, he would have surely opposed all of this "give me freedom or give me death" nonsense in favour of a continuing dependence on the mighty European Reich.

NB: appendix:
Certifications of the Oath or Affirmation of Allegiance and Fidelity. Printed and signed oaths, 1777–1782. Marian S. Carson Collection, Manuscript Division, Library of Congress (135.01.00) [Digital ID# us0135_01]
https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/creating-t ... nlarge.jpg
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3/11/2016, 8:49 pm
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In the above example, a certain George W. (a notorious slave owner) delivers some kind of fascist "oath" to an audience of International Money-Jews. Another example showing that any kind of oath is surely an instrument of reactionary (Jewish) fascists...

Mural by Allyn Cox in the U.S. Capitol depicts George Washington taking the oath of office in 1789 on the balcony of Federal Hall in New York City. Architect of the Capitol photograph
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3/13/2016, 9:48 pm
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To clarify, I think there's a difference between an oath to the Constitution, which I and millions of others have taken, and an oath to a person. I know there's honest disagreement here, but I wasn't trying to make the point that all oaths are evil, period.
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3/14/2016, 1:20 pm
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Of course the corollary to Godwin's Law is that all references to totalitarianism are invalid because of Godwin's Law.
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But, hey, if the Capitol building mysteriously burns to the ground, don't say I didn't tell you so.
Also, please comrades, take this in the gently humorous give and take for which our most superior website is justly famous.
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3/14/2016, 2:08 pm
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I hereby swear an oath of allegiance to Glorious Humour!
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3/14/2016, 3:40 pm
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Extend your right arm, bend 90 degrees at the elbow, and recite the following oath...
I, Comrade __________, do solemnly swear by the Redness of the People's Cube, and in the name of His Equalness, Red Square, my allegiance to the most equal humor of the most glorious website, The People's Cube*, around which all other websites revolve.
*Of course "most glorious website" and "The People's Cube" are redundant, but the phrase is intended to assist those who are new to the Fruited Collective of Next Tuesday™.
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3/14/2016, 5:31 pm
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Done, komissar al-blogunov!

Am I now allowed to wear a hat like this?

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3/14/2016, 7:40 pm
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By Lenin, you've earned it!
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