Comrades,

As I age and hear the righteous whining and screeching of my temporally-disadvantaged comrades, I reflect on the importance of ensuring each comrade is awarded his fair share of comradettes, some exemplary specimens provided by Comrade Whoopie (clearly a man with a finely honed eye), to ensure future generations of gender-neutralized Komsomol youth. In time, this troublesome social construct--i.e., gender--will be done away with; however, that time is not yet now.

The People's Cube works for the Greater Good™, which includes redistributive reproductive rights. Past Party-approved pickup lines have helped Us increase Our breeding rate to avoid being swamped by Darwinist losers whose mindless shambling hulks are incapable of any physical action beyond pulling beer can tabs, pulling triggers, pulling out Marlboros, pulling out remotes (if they can find them) to watch Faux News, pulling GOP and Libertarian levers, and not pulling out. Those few with any higher intellectual function seem unable to go beyond xenophobia, the Bible, and unrelenting hate for The Other, unlike we ourselves, the sole hope for humanity's redemption.

But I digress.

What concerns the Party is that while we do have heroic members like the suave Mr. Lettermen, who has demonstrated his ability with the ladies, many of Us are spawn-free. Comrades, when it comes to the Party and achieving Revolution, booty is your duty. To facilitate the attainment thereof, Comradette Sister Massively Opiated and I have worked diligently, unrelentingly, selflessly, with heavy breathing kept within NEA-sanctioned limits, to compile a most equal list of dated talking points to help those who can't MoveOn to get it on.

The Dirty Old Lettermen Top Ten List

1. Let me show you my big netroot and I'll give you the participatory democratics of your life.

2. One night of global warming with me and you'll be panting so hard you'll need carbon offsets.

3. Is that a hole in your ozone, or are you just happy to see me?

4. Hi, my name's Karl. Has anyone ever told you you look just like Valerie Plame? Give me your email address and maybe sometime I'll initiate a strategic Rove through your Office of Pubic Liaison.

5. I hate Iraq. Your rack on the other hand... Niiiice...

6. I'm a conservative. Come with me and I'll show you how the other 1% lives...

7. If you do me, I'll tell Kos about it in my Diary.

8. Forget G-spots: Lemme stoke your G-had!

9. Bag me and you've only got 71 more virgins to go!

10. My parents' house is just 10 minutes down the street. My dad's away on business and I can call my mom and tell her I really need her to go out and pick me up some pizza pockets...We'd have the whole house to ourselves for about two hours. Whattaya say?

Stand forth, comrades, gird your loins and lines, and let's get this Party started!

This is from line husband has been of use for his business. Of course he to use the womens for the delivery: "Hey babe, do I have a blow job for you."

I had some success with this line "Hi, I'm Sandy Burglar, wanna see what's in my pants?"

And this one "Hi, they call me Slick Willie and I got just the cigar for a smokin' babe like you."

I have a tear. #10 reminded me of my dear late beloved Mr. P.
#5 I have heard many of times (needless to say without saying! Such pawing males, we have!)

These are all glorious prick pick up lineages... I can see why so much spawn is safe.

Here's one you can use to hedge your bet.

Guy "Did it hurt?"
Gal "Did what hurt?"
Guy "When you fell from heaven."
Gal "Go screw yourself."
Guy "I was just asking 'cause it looks like you landed on your face."

Chedoh...?!

#11. Want some healthcare little girl?

And need I remind you....

Can you tell which pickup line he is saying right now?

Comrades,

This depth and concern expressed by my fellow comrades about these serious procreative facilitators have left me speechless, wheezing, and experiencing something other than superiority, pride, outrage, hate, or antipathy. It might be humor, but I am calling the doctor to find out, which is why I greatly appreciate Comrade Infidel Castrate's suggestion:

Infidel Castrate wrote:#11. Want some healthcare little girl?

Here, body temperature is taken with an armpit thermometer, so I am sure the quoted line was proffered without the request many of us born in AmeriKKKa heard as children when having our temperatures taken orally at the doctor's office: "Now open wide…" and, well, you know the rest.

The "Shiite"-"She aiight" pun might, however, have caused the most damage. After the national health ambulance arrives some hours later, I will try to notify the collective of the results.

Humor, comrades, is no laughing matter.

I offer this humble submission...

Letterman to burqa babe: "Hey, burqa babe, I can see your panty line! So, whadaya thinka that?"

Burqa babe to Letterman: "Really? Well, Dave, don't get too excited, (giggle) 'cause I can see your a-hole!"

Red Square wrote:Can you tell which pickup line he is saying right now?

I believe it is this, Sir.
Burqa babes bear the brunt of my boorishness. I can take care of myself!
—David Letterman

Red Square wrote:Can you tell which pickup line he is saying right now?

I will show you my jihadi if you show me yours!

Comrades,

My suspicion is Comrade Dirty Dave is on a quest to determine which of these burqaed beauties of best for the next successful shaheed.

How about this one, for use in the Tenderloin or the Castro?

Hey boy, the party needs some lawyers. Want to make some more?

That's quite progressive and certainly helps fulfill the Party's ends!