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Rachel Goes To College

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Comrades,

Only in the USSA: A new inductee into the exclusive ranks of Nobel Laureates may be in the making.

The opportunity was graciously provided to none other than the lovely Rachel Jeantell - petite young star of the recent Zimmerman show.

Her stellar performance and obvious intellectual prowess was recognized by radio host and noted philanthropist Tom Joyner.

We wish Ms. Jeantell a speedy journey through grade school, high school, remedial class, college preparatory instruction, etiquette lessons and finally her very own degree - the coveted PhD in Social Engineering and Welfare Management.

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CNN: On Tuesday, radio host Tom Joyner offered Rachel Jeantel, a friend who was on the phone with Trayvon Martin the night he was killed, a full ride to college.

"Rachel, here's my offer to you. If you want to graduate from high school and go to an HBCU, even if it's not in Florida but especially Florida ... If you want to do that, I want to help you do that," Joyner said during his radio show Tuesday, referring to historically black colleges and universities. "I will help you get tutors to get you out of high school, tutors to help you pass the SAT, and I will give you a full-ride scholarship to any HBCU you'd like."


Joyner specified an HBCU school. That would be considered a racist offer by some, but the honorable Mr. Joyner is himself a black man. Case closed.

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Glorious! Like I said Comrades... we prefer the 2.0 scale... do u got a problem with that?

Anyone?

Anyone at All?

That's what I thought!

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What is you talkin' bout, Rooster? You ain't get that from me.

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I suppose it is not gambling if there is no chance he will have to pay. But why bother? There must be hundreds of Progressive Institutions of Higher Learning™ who would jump at the chance to award/confer/bestow an honorary Doctorate degree in, say, Contemporary Urban Linguistics.
Calling Dr. Jeantel!
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Her grading curve is off the scale. Have to use one of those truck scales.

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I have worked at an HBCU.

She currently expresses herself as a mid-year Junior, almost ready to graduate.

I be so proud...

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This one was a white girl form some university in Detroit, where I worked. I remember her name. You never forget the first time, do you?

It was my first class in America. The class performed so well that I had to multiply grades by 4. One girl emailed to me, cc the chief of department "how come that even after multiplied by 4 my grade is still 0?" That really made me dizzy. It confused the hell out of all of those years of my math studies.

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Comrade Frum,

Everybody knows that 4 x anything is whatever the Party determines. Get with it!

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