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Red and Green Are Complementary Colors

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Never mind that in color theory "complementary" means opposite. Doublethink it: color theory, as the genetics denounced by comrade Lysenko, is a bourgeois science. Let's take "complementary" for "complementing", as in the phrase "purges are complementary to education". Also The People only need two colors, alas the same ones proudly displayed on the uniforms of the Red Army during the Great Patriotic War: Red and Green.

In all their deviousness, counter-revolutionaries are eager to exploit what they see to be a flaw in revolutionary regimes: a general disregard for the environment. They are always cunningly trying to subdue ingenuous comrades in taking the burden for some minor accidents as Lake Aral, Yangtze River, Three Gorges Dam, Chernobyl.

First of all, the you-too fallacy, "tu quoque", is a rhetoric privilege destined for progressives only, as when comrade Noam Chomsky attests that "due to the Koran flushing in Guantanamo Bay, the most rightful thing is that New York be nuked and all the remains be fed to mutant dogs" (or something like that, I'm citing from heart, you got the spirit). We should fight for our right to never let this precious linguistic weapon to fall in enemy hands.

Secondly and most importantly, we can and we shall prove that the most left-leaning a government is, the most friendly towards Planet Earth it will be. Our reasoning is based on the undeniable scientific consensus that the cause of Global Warming is the all-greedy-hairless-monkey-in-a-suit, that is, the human being.

So, being the human being the reason behind Global Warming, one could easily admit that chairman Mao Tse Tung was, in absolute numbers, the greatest friend of Mother Nature of all time, having got rid of 60 million carbon-emitting spots during his glorious term, not only by purges, but also due the massive famine adoption of organic agriculture, unfortunately discontinued by the current Chinese government. Also there is Stalin, who only could resolve 20 million carbon-emitting spots, but a in a greater per-(de)capita proportion than his Eastern counterpart. Finally there is that Great Champion of Environment, Pol Pot, who increased the Carbon offset of Cambodia by exactly 1/3, that is, removed one in each three carbon-emitting spots of his country. Pol Pot this way could cut down astonishing six times the commitment of 5% emission reduction asserted in Kyoto Protocol.

In a simple syllogism, more adequate for pamphlets and other propaganda educational measures:


  • PEOPLE CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING
  • COMMUNISM KILLS PEOPLE
  • THEREFORE COMMUNISM KILLS GLOBAL WARMING

Mao, Stalin and Pol Pot's examples are not only reasons to adopt more left-leaning policies now: they bring the light to the world of what is the only real way to save penguins, polar bears and anteaters from the awful humanity's greed for being alive - and that is Communism!

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I thought guns were the only thing that could kill people... I'm so confused!!


 
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