The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan demands that present-day blacks should be paid reparations for racial prejudice, committed in the Civil War era:

"Germany is paying reparations to the Jews for the Holocaust that the Germans put on the Jews! “All Germans” didn't do this, but all Germans are being taxed to pay for what was done to the Jews... Look at our condition, brothers: Don't we need a “repair job”? Don't we need somebody to repair our broken heads, our broken hearts, and our broken pocketbooks?"

The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan makes an excellent point, one that a growing body of citizens agree with:

- A resolution of the 101st NAACP Convention states that their aim is to advocate reparations for descendants of slaves;

- Hollywood productions have focused on the "slave revenge fantasy."

- A Slate.com author insists that we must redistribute wealth to atone for the sins of the Civil Rights era.

- A lengthy piece appeared in The Atlantic calling for reparations into modern-day America.

As this viewpoint gains momentum, it opens the Pandora's Box of Reparations, which brings the question: How far back can claims for reparations be made? It can be argued that the Civil War is not far back enough.

Some claim that the deserving beneficiaries are American Indians, here before black American slaves. Some Mexicans claim that the southwestern U.S. is rightfully theirs, over the American Indians.

Pangaea was the first land mass on earth, a single continent, and the first symbol of unity among all races. A thoughtful citizen on BrownPride.com asks:


Indeed, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan's words are true - our system of racial equality is broken and needs a repair job.

Tracing lineage back to Pangaea, and then redistributing a hard-earned salary, is the most all-encompassing solution - for liberty, fairness, and justice for all!

But what if someone is half <spit> white <spit> and half racially favored like Dear Leader? Are they to be labeled white or non-white? Do we determine this based on voting records and NRA membership? Also, may I suggest adding a "Privilege" box to the aforementioned IR-SS tax form that all white non-persons will have to check?

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:But what if someone is half <spit> white <spit> and half racially favored like Dear Leader?

I am a black and white TV, I deserve a half-share.

And while we're on the subject, what about past lives? Reincarnation experts tell us that someone who was non-white in a past life may be white now and vice-versa. Which life counts as far as reparations are concerned, the current one or the past one? Should that person pay his or her self?

Comrade Opiate, I agree you do deserve a half share as a black and white television. As to past lives, just my thought only, but if one can prove that in their past life they didn't commit the crime of having white privilege, they are naturally entitled to reparations. Even if they are white with white privilege in their current life. Why? Well, if they were oppressed in a past life they are still recovering and thus the need for reparations. They might have to prove their past non-white-privilege status with all kinds of documentation, like the kinds we did not require of Dear Leader to be coronated president and Prom King of the United States.

Now, if they had white privilege in a past life but don't in their current life, I think they should get reparations too because in THIS life they are being oppressed by those with white privilege.

Bottom line: When in doubt, give reparations funded by evil white privilege types. Run out of money? Why, tax the rich of course. And check your privilege, Comrades.

I am still pondering the application of this most equal theory to a "white-Hispanic" with a Glock who claims self defense. What do I owe him?

What about cosmic rays, those thingies that play the Knock-out Game ™ with human DNA creating mutations, bad and good, making Black people stupid, ugly, poor, homie-cidal, and unprivileged while making White people intelligent, beautiful, rich, rational, and privileged. Shouldn't the universe, the source of these cosmic rays, be held accountable for such racism?

Comrade of the cranial jello mold, while you are heading in the right direction, you are on the wrong trail... I theorize that racism is caused by bad BIORHYTMS. Cogitate for a moment....who is/are the victims of racism? And who is genetically predisposed to having rhythm? As always, 2+2=5

Tovarichi wrote:I theorize that racism is caused by bad BIORHYTMS.

But what causes the bad BIORHYTMS?

Global Warming deniers, Halliburton, and George Bush, of course.

Comrade, why discriminate reparation to only non Caucasian Homo-sapiens? Why not other species who have suffered for millions of years under the yoke of primordial oppression from Proto-non-Caucasian-Homo-sapiens?

A research project should be initialed to track the DNA of the single cell organism PNCHS back to the pre-history point at which they first began oppressing other single cell organisms.

It can be said that it will take Trillions of dollars in grant money to trace the lineage's, but is worth effort to properly compensate the single cell bacterial of eons past for the misdeeds of the Proto-non-Caucasian-Homo-sapiens bacterial of eons past.

We owe this to bacteria and other non Caucasian species everywhere.

Except squirrels and cats, right? RIGHT?

Stop the Man-Made Continental Drift! The fight to reunite Pangea has begun!


Now available on T-shirts, mugs, and posters.

Well, harrumph and harrumph, not to mention HARRRRUMPH!!! Leave it to some apparently misogynistic black african MAN to talk about reparations to black african MEN! Whats about the womyns of all races who have been enslaved and their vaginas not allowed to vote? We will need reparations for them as well!

Tovarichi wrote:Except squirrels and cats, right? RIGHT?

Cats and squirrels are owed everything by everybody. I thought this was Common Knowledge.™

I was indeed going to suggest bringing back the one-drop-of-blood criterion to determine racial categories, but (a) non-animal and even certain animal species races do not have blood, and (b) I cannot tell whether we are measuring who gets reparations (nonwhite) and who pays reparations (white human). Oh, such dilemmas when one is attempting to impose ensure Social Justice™ and Egalitarian Korrektness.

Of course, reparations must start at the top and trickle down maybe eventually get to the deserving organisms according to party status donations need. If The One and Moo eventually escape the White Fortress prison they will need to be reparated first, for the time of their confinement, in addition to making up for all those nasty things that went on in the 1600s.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:Except squirrels and cats, right? RIGHT?

[highlight=#ffff99]Cats and squirrels are owed everything by everybody[/highlight]. I thought this was Common Knowledge.™

Comrade RedD,

I will personally see to it that all creatures great and small receive their equal share of loot reparations. Dear Leader has foreseen my future and it is most profitable glorious for all.

Miss lovely Olga Photoshopova

I am thinking I owe reparations to you, I hope so.

Do you need help in your photos shop?

Your friend
PEMM

If no one existed back then, how do scientists of today know that it was called Pangea? Hmmm? I've often wondered about that.

Did modern scientists find billboards on each continent (slightly separated) that read: "Welcome to Pangea! The greatest continent in the world! Our continent is better than your continent, nah nah nah nah NAH nah! Our continent is the REAL Pangea. Yeah, that's the ticket?"

Pangaea or Pangea was derived from Παγγαία, Greek meaning 'all earth'.
The name was first used by the German, Alfred Wegener, chief proponent of the continental drift theory, in 1920.

If the above statement is true, which it absolutely is because it's on the internet, then this guy, Wegener, is one of the brilliant 97% of scientists that set the stage for Anthropogenic Global Warming/Climate Change theory, a geek who assuaged his boredom of life by inventing really cool theories after having spent himself on "flapper porn."

So, there you have it!

Flapper Porn?

Is that something to do with the arms on a fat woman?

I suppose it could. However, let's just imagine girls who jiggle a lot, slim or fat. You know, like doing the "Charleston."

Papa Ew Mao Mao wrote:Miss lovely Olga Photoshopova

I am thinking I owe reparations to you, I hope so.

Do you need help in your photos shop?

Your friend
PEMM

PEMM, thank you for the reparations. I will be using this photo for the Twitter campaign #BringBackOurHardDrives. It's important that we all do our part and hashtag when possible! We can make a difference with a single #.

FLAPPER PORN!

Okay, Tov. I've moved from "why?" to a simple "how?"

Comrade Brain in a Jug, the previous photo proves three things:

1. Famines have causes
2. Satellite photography is the best way to photograph large acreage
3. Some males actually do suffer from "cerebral migration" allowing the wrong head to take over routine thought processing

I'm still pondering whether or not to denounce Pamalinski for her introduction of the evil specter of "flapper porn" to the sanctity of the Cube.

Oh, the humanity....

Opiate of the People wrote:

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:But what if someone is half <spit> white <spit> and half racially favored like Dear Leader?

I am a black and white TV, I deserve a half-share.

And while we're on the subject, what about past lives? Reincarnation experts tell us that someone who was non-white in a past life may be white now and vice-versa. Which life counts as far as reparations are concerned, the current one or the past one? Should that person pay his or her self?

Your racist half must pay your oppressed half, Comrade. A self contained cycle of privilege and entitlement!

Tovarichi wrote:FLAPPER PORN!

Damn it, Tovarichi, I can't un-see that!!!!

I assume that rolling someone in flour in involved here. Have the happy couple filled out the appropriate requisition forms for the thousand kilos or so it will take?

Even the sheep are racists!

RedDiaperette wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:Except squirrels and cats, right? RIGHT?

Comrade RedDiaperette,

Here, in just 35 seconds, is Tovi's idea of what should happen to cats. Not sure about squirrels, although he does mention them in the same sentence.

Pay attention to the musical score and the cat's movements. Very important.

Just watch your back is all I'm saying.