The Universal Unionization Section of the Department of Organized Labor for the USSA has launched an investigation into news that a Drug Use Enforcement Agency officer obtained a non-unionized prostitute for two Secret Service Police officers in Columbia, who were detailed to protect the Party Chairman, Comrade Barack Barackovich Obama during his April 2012 visit to the South American nation.
The Section launched its probe after a review of Columbian law, which does allow some prostitution with ‘tolerance zones,’ but offers neither Unionized collective-bargaining rights nor Universal Health Care to sex workers.
As a result, the DUEA officer and two Secret Police officers are suspected to have violated Party discipline, which forbids all contact with non-unionized workers.
While the Department of Organized Labor refused to denounce the prostitute as a ‘scab’ due to the non-unionized plight of sex workers in Columbia, this situation is nonetheless considered a serious offense, grave enough to merit an official inquiry.
Columbia is known as a Capitalist den of iniquity - not only for problems with human trafficking and child prostitution - but, more importantly, for opposing the expansion of Socialism under Comrade President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela, who is a great ally of B. B. Obama and has enthusiastically endorsed his candidacy for Party Chairman.
The reactionary bourgeois classes of Columbia have reacted violently toward the progressive stance of Venezuela on oppressed innocent peasants, who are engaged in subsistence Coca-leaf farming without the benefits of collectivization, unionization, subsidized housing, or free state-run health care.
The Party has been assured by the Department of Social Justice that at no time was Comrade Barack Barackovich endangered by the entertainment choices of these Secret Police Officers.
Of course, the Party does not judge the personal lives of its members, even when their personal needs must be met using State-owned telephones, email, vehicles, or even State-provided accommodations.
All citizens are reminded that all contact with non-unionized workers is forbidden, except for the purposes of agitation or unpaid sexual services (with consent, but without a ‘relationship’).
Agitate for Collective-bargaining Rights for Prostitutes! Unionize Sex Workers Now!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
To wit, the United Nations Congress of Worker Empowerment has adopted the 'card check' system of certifying union representation of a given bargaining unit.... be it of female masseuse workers or prostitutes of any date dynamic gender identification.
Columbia is committed to automatic enforcement of U.N. legal dictates with respect to certain IMF and World Bank loan covenants.
So, after the ships from the latest humanitarian relief of besieged Gaza become available, the U.N. in New York will be transporting volunteer union stewards of prostitution to Columbia... here is a picture of one of the first volunteers.....
the love of a union steward is a special kind of love...
Street Walkers, Unite! Discover the power of collective bargaining! Join the sex workers union for guaranteed employment regardless of age, skills, health, or pre-existing sexual characteristics.
Unionize Sex Workers Now!It's just what the Party needs!
Demand collective bargaining rights! Join our Sex Workers Union Now! Always remind your
customers to look for the union label.
Street Walker's Union, we control so you don't have to.
ThePeoplesComradeStreet Walker's Union, we control so you don't have to.
Comrade Peoples Comrade--
When you're advocating "control," I hope you're not advocating gun control -- I remember basic training all too well. Let someone else control?
I was sitting down for my usual evening cocktail (the Tear of the Komsomol Girl is this evening's available mix), when I nearly spilled it for joy with these new Agitprop Posters! These are worthy of every Young Socialist's dorm room walls!
(I wouldn't want to spoil the fun by running across it too soon!)
Here is my copy, which I keep close by at all times to remind me how bad it can get.
Red SquareIt warms my cold, hardened heart, comrade, that you are familiar with the Soviet classic by Venedikt Erofeev, Moscow to the End of the Line, which offers recipes for many glorious beverages of the proletariat - among them "Tears of a Komsomol Girl," made with mouthwash, nail polish, lemon soda, lavender toilet water, verbena and herbal lotion.
The attachment Moskva_Petushki.jpg is no longer available
TovarichiJust curious, my fellow comrades; when sub-contracting a properly unionized prostitute (I would never make such an arrangement directly...) Just WHERE would this union label be located? Spasebo...
(I wouldn't want to spoil the fun by running across it too soon!)
Red SquareBelieve it or not, I found this on the SEIU site - a temporary 2x2" tattoo to display membership in Sex Employees International Union. But doesn't having a temporary union tattoo feel like cheating? Isn't it meant to be for life - something to show to you grand kids?
Live and learn. Here's a "Buy American, Buy Union" tattoo - from Wall Street Journal:
Quote:United Auto Workers union local 594 president Don Skidmore showed off his “Buy American, Buy Union” tattoo outside his local union in Canton, Mich., Tuesday. General Motors said Monday it plans to close nine more plants, including one Mr. Skidmore’s union represents, as part of its bankruptcy. (Rebecca Cook/Reuters)
No worries, you will always have the streets, baby! And with all scab street walkers driven away, you'll get to pick your own clients at prevailing wages, due to seniority and status in the organization, and a nice gift to your sex shop steward on holidays. They'll pay and no one will have the right to say no or you'll file a petition with the National Labor Relations Board or bust his kneecaps, whichever comes first.
I read it back in the Motherland when it still circulated in the form of underground faded photocopies. Now, of course, it had many editions with different covers and the author could be finally rich if he hadn't died in 1990. This is my favorite cover, with jubilant toilers holding flags that display various cheap wine labels popular among the drinking masses.
Red SquareHere's your union label. "Proud to be a local..." whatever. This gal could use some waxing, although tastes differ and who am I to judge?
Comrade Square, may I be so bold as to direct you to a photographic representation of a new App I'm in the process of writing which will answer this - and all other - gender-based questions?
Street Walker's Union, always check the label.
Alternative location for permit...
Is it any wonder, union membership fell more during Obama's 4 years, than during Bush's 8?
Thanks Uncle "Bob" Menendez. See you soon from Your Little Pookie.
It has to be. He can't move his upper lip. Savvy?
BTW, I don't believe that you've been to the Rancho del Rio Grande here in Texas. I extend you an invitation. I have here the finest of sweetmeats and other victuals and every Friday I have a mass impaling of Unsatisfactory Proles on the South Forty. In other words, people who say things which diminish the shine on my self-applied halo. Just like any other prog's halo but better, of course.
Bruno would love to see you too. He has so many tales of his, er, experiences, yes, experiences, with our Many Titted Empress Hillary, and can point out the divots in the terrazzo left by her hooves.
Oh, just to make sure that you have no problems, please send me in private message the details of your bank accounts.
This is for your own good, you know.
If you survive.
I want to thank you for confirming that piano legged Hillary, she who suffers from “kankles”, exhibits exceedingly strong ungual tendencies. Due to your positive reinforcement I shall continue to refer to her as “hildabeast: the buck toothed moron”. But, and she as a big butt, there always seems to remain the problem of repairing the terrazzo and cleansing her stables. Lesson learned: never allow a hildabeast into your Texas home, less the terrazzo becomes imprinted.
Rest assured, your self-applied halo (auto-erotihalo?) remains intact. My unfortunate statement regarding “…more of a proggish savoir-faire, limp wristed insight” was not directed at you, but intended in the context of bonnie fwank’s multi-titted behavioral exhibitions. This robust equivocation is my error. As suggested earlier, your insight is fabulous indeed.
In any event, here are the particulars on my bank accounts: BB&T: 0. Wells Fargo: 0. 401k: Soon to be nationalized by the Kenyan. As for Bruno, just shave her @ss and have her walk backward towards Florida. Then simply give me a heads-up, and I’ll take care of the rest.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘I’m sorry it isn’t.’
‘Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’
‘The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,’ she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, ‘Why yes sir, this is a union house. ‘We observe all union rules.’
The man asked, ‘And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’ ‘The girls get $80 and the house gets $20..’
‘That’s more like it!’ the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde .
‘I’d like her,’ he said.
‘I’m sure you would, sir,’ said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, ‘but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she’s next.’