Gallup has *MY* Congress at an "ALL TIME LOW" of 14 freakin' percent!!


OH… MAH… STALIN!!! Comrades, my People's House now has a lower approval rating than “Captain 26%” Adolf Chimpler! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO *ME*!! I'm hearing all kinds of reports coming in, reports that we are currently at 14%, reports that we are 16%, reports that THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE GIVING UP ON US! How much is Hillary paying you people? Huh? How much? I think a pay cut is in order here, yes I do, I think we are going to have to take away some beach houses, limo rides, and drapery from a number of Party apparatchiks here at the Cube (Meow, I'm looking directly in your direction, so put that wad of cash down now!).

I'm trying my best, comrades. Why, that Chimp had the audacity to veto our Stem-Cell Miracle Cures; the ones we promised that will make superman walk, Marty McFly travel back in time again and allow Ron Reagan Jr. to continue his ballerina number for all eternity! And what do I get? I GET PISSY PANTS AND CHILDREN SCREAMING!! I've got Kos peeing his pants and throwing his hands in the air like he just don't care! And Bush? Ha! He gets away with EVERYTHING and I get blamed for EVERYTHING! It's not my fault that we are doing badly! No no! I blame Harry Reid for being a creepy old guy (and a Mormon! <gasp!> Like Adolf Mittler Romney! <double gasp!>). Before you know it they will take a Womyn's Right to Douche a Baby away! Just you wait! It won't be long till they take away that most sacred of Constitutional rights away from Womyn everywhere! Why, we will all have to douche our kid using a coat-hanger again – do you really want that!? I should hope not, and that is why I'm asking you to call up every pollster and DEMAND that they rig the polls for us (like they should, dammit!).

I have to go now… my makeup is running and my wig is coming unglued again!

I hate you all,

Speaker Pelosivich

Madam Speaker, (24,142,444+ / 0-)

It appears that you have posted this article (or should I call it a panic attack?) twice on the People's Blog - which made you look stupid and possibly lowered your approval ratings even further. Fortunately for you I managed to stumble onto the Cube to clean up the excess posting you pooped out so that no one will ever notice that you're a coniving drooling witch unable to properly execute the submit button when making a post. With all the above said, I wish you a pleasant day and hope that you manage to get your wig glued back to your overly stretched and stinking head.

Hugs and pokes with a ten foot pole,

Meow

But Madam Speaker: can't we just (345,111,832+ / 0-)

say we have a super mandate to be unpopular? Fortunately, however, we have that poll from a few days ago showing the American people want us to have the White House after the 2008 revolutions. But every silver lining is attached to a cloud: the American people don't like any of our candidates, and would prefer some individual Republinazi candidates!

The time has come to resurrect the "Fairness" Doctrine to ensure the only views people are exposed to are Party approved, as expressed in the media.

Piss off, Meow. Your snarkyness (0+ / 1,888,572,692-)

is not needed right now, especially when I have Bonnie Fwank in the corner bawling his eyes out because no one likes him.

Branish, sweetie pie, you know how to make a womyn feel real good about herself. I agree; it is time to put the muzzle on talk radio and force the market to air our poorly rated and unpopular progressive talkers. Yes, Air America might be a total and complete failure (thank Darwin we got $oro$ and Hill to bank roll it) but that shouldn't discourage us from tearing down KKKon hate-radio.

I can see it now, our progressive truth-tellers bringing ratings to rock bottom and forcing these radio stations to go out of business, this in turn will boot Limbaugh off the airwaves and will get the American people to tune into real news sources like the Daily Show with Jon Stewart or the CBS Evening News (we need to help Katie, she's just a dumb blonde bimbo with "tarted" up and "dumbed" down news stories, right Dan Rather??).

What I worry about is the KKKons demanding primetime exposure on our networks; can you imagine them getting a show on Comedy Central to compete with Jon or shows on CNN and MSNBC out of "equal time"??? I sure the hell can't, and that is why we need to protect the networks and kick the crap out of the radio hate-hashers. Our ideas can't compete anymore, Branish. The American people don't like us when they get a good hard look at the Party. So, in turn, we have to strangle other people's ideas and brush them under the rug - just like Hugo Chavez is doing! It's the only way, and now on top of it I see the networks airing the views of black conservatives, unbelievable! Those turn-coats should be drawn and quartered for their crimes against the Party! DRAWN AND QUARTERED, I TELL YA!

<sigh> I feel as if the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has their hands in all of this, I feel as if they had this rigged from the start. They're all out to get me; I better have Lupe check my food for now on to make sure MOSSAD and Limbaugh hasn't slipped something in it.

How will History remember *ME*? As America's Grandma or as America's drunken syphilis ridden Aunt Flo? I hate my life... Ugh, I need some scotch and vicodin.

-- Nancy

Your snarkyness is not needed right now

Snarkyness? Does it have anything to do (555,366,951+ / 0-)

with snarks?

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy. Calm down, (134,253,682+ / 0-)

sweetie. Come out to the Rancho; I'll let you have Meow's room; for some reason he didn't like the decor while he was here.

You can't be upset that people don't like us because how can they? They're not dumb enough yet; after all we haven't devoted 95% of the GDP to the NEA to make sure that the kids can neither read nor write, and they don't yet spend all of the school days and over time too getting pissed off for no reason.

And anyway, all we need is another Paris Hilton for distraction. I've got it! Why don't we get some disaffected young men, you know the type, gamers, ugly, strange, and tell them that their peers hate them, which they just might. Then we can give them guns and let them start killing people in their school.

Just think what that would do. We could yell for gun control so the proles couldn't shoot us when we come, and I intend to come after them, and also we could plant The Limbaugh Letter in their bedrooms, and that way we could use the Fairness Doctrine to shut down Rush.

But whatever you do, don't let them think.

What the heck is a snark? (389,327,321+ / 0-)

Premier Betty wrote:

Your snarkyness is not needed right now

Snarkyness? Does it have anything to do with snarks?

A snark is the thing in our progressive (1,375,111,832+ / 0-)

minds which controls our thoughts. The snark slowly feeds on our brains while crapping progressive thoughts for us to parrot... hang on, my snark is crapping as we speak...incoming progressive thought...ohhh...yes, we must have sex with whales to prevent them from being hunted... uh huh, yes... we will produce whalehumyns with the whales thus furthering Darwin's Design...ahhh.... the whalehumyns will be Harvard educated upon birth and will convince the toiling masses that private property is a hoax. Ah, all better now, my snark has effectively crapped on my brain thus producing that wonderful little bit of progress!

I dunno, what you just described, (2,345,123,735+ / 0-)

Meow, sounds more like a head crab.


Here's how they look when preforming the actions on humans that Meow just described:


That picture was taken by none other than me during my last trip to San Francisco right here in Kalifornja.

As for the Snark... well, just look Here

Awww! They look so happy! (84,111,314+ / 0-)

Is that blood or are they wearing the classic red Hugo Chavez T-Shirt? If it is blood those people should know better than to bleed all over the place! Now some underpaid unionized professional custodial-technician will have to clean up that mess! SHAME! SHAAAAMMMEEEE!

At least there will be an equal distribution (184,123,456+ / 0-)

of AIDS. If one person is cursed with it, then everyone must be!!! (Except for the party elite of course. We can't have any life threatening diseases interfering with our making sure everyone else has the disease.)

Has anybody seen my pet Boojum? (1,666,666,666+ / 0-)

HIs name is Vince.
I wanted to take him to the next "Bring Your Pet to the Candidate's Debate Night".
Silly Obama wants to bring his dog and Edwards is bringing his Persian pussy.
How boring and bourgeoise is that?
Craig was taking Vince for a walk and I haven't seen either in a while.
Should I put up posters on utility poles or just wait and trust Craig?

I told Gary Condit to look after them both, (345,111,832+ / 0-)

so don't worry. I believe that Patsy Ramsey is hosting a tea-party for them too. And Craig will be the bouncer for the party.

And yes, Edwards' Persian pussy is boring. That's been done with Kerry's Madagascan one. That's where they breed with lemurs, making lemurhumyns.

And Betty, of course we cannot have AIDS, for how can we be selfish? There's not enough of that, for it is free, to go around. Now there is enough of, say, money, as long as we get to decide who gets it. One for you, one for me; two for you, one, two for me, and so on. The voters haven't caught on to that one yet.

Remember poor Nansky's problem: she let people see she didn't care.

Checked out your link to dKos, (2,741,256,741+ / 0- )

Nancy. You've got to quit being nice already and start talking strong Communism. It's the only thing that really rallies your base.

You know what I like at dKos? That troll rating feature. It makes it very easy for the workers and lumpenproletariate, who otherwise might not know what to agree or disagree with, to quickly size up Party truth and know what to think and whom to praise or denounce. You can also see by going down the comments and looking at nothing but the troll ratings that it keeps everyone in line. The troll ratings show just how little debate on issues there is at DKos. Now that's true democracy. These people at DKos get it.

Comrade Otis, who has forseen the future of progressive debate, wrote:You know what I like at dKos? That troll rating feature. It makes it very easy for the workers and lumpenproletariate, who otherwise might not know what to agree or disagree with, to quickly size up Party truth and know what to think and whom to praise or denounce.

Maybe the Cube needs this "rating apparatus" (1+ / 24,542,721,836-)

to ensure that everyone... and I mean everyone... toes the Party line. It could be a meter or sorts that gauges strict Party orthodoxy and ethically rewards those whose ideological purity is a cut above the rest. Yes, comrades, we MUST be a beacon for undemocratic discussion and carefully scrutinize anyone who may go astray in their progressive reasoning - just like Dkos has masterfully demonstrated. It saddens me to see that the weak liberals are at the forefront of insuring scripted debate and we're not... I'm saddened by this (see, this is my sad face ).

Nancy: If I were you I would take a trip to North Korea to negotiate our withdrawal from the Korean peninsula. Doing so just might score you some points with the Democrat base thus allowing you to survive another day. Be sure to give Kim Jong Il a gift... perhaps the Sopranos first season DVD set will tickle his fancy or some Hustler magazines? Just be sure to have them autographed when you give them to him.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Yes, comrades, we MUST be a beacon for undemocratic discussion and carefully scrutinize anyone who may go astray in their progressive reasoning

No, no, no, Chairman. we must be a beacon (78,234,462,111,832+ / 0-)

for True Democratic discussion. Look at how that one slip affected your troll rating! I must be the only one that voted for you. We go back too far for me to see you get shot.

I foolishly wrote:Maybe the Cube needs this "rating apparatus" (1+ / 24,542,721,836-)

And Comrade Otis triumphantly wrote:No, no, no, Chairman. we must be a beacon (78,234,462,111,832+ / 0-)

for True Democratic discussion. Look at how that one slip affected your troll rating! I must be the only one that voted for you. We go back too far for me to see you get shot.

<GASP!> I can feel the noose tightning (235,746,824,914+ / 0-)

around my neck as I type this! Thank you, Comrade Otis, at least I know someone out there is watching out for me!

The troll rating is a great Party tool (123,456,789,000+ / 0-)

of therapy, isn't it Chairman. The Democratic Party in congress should think of dKos approval ratings as a troll rating. That's really what approval ratings are. Same concept. Only at dKos they actually have approval ratings for each and every post. Congress better watch out, if their dKos troll rating gets any worse they'll have to be found guilty and arrested.

I agree with you 110% and feel better already, (3,232,456,343,765,345,654,334,654,432,987,654,456,768,316,987.2 + / 0-)Comrade Otis!

I see from my earlier post that the necro-proxies (746,123,937,329+ / 0-)

have come out to give me a favorable troll rating. We'll be seeing you next election, Necro-proxy-Americans!

Troll schmoll. I've got Richard (12,352,946,221,648+ / 0-)

Daley on my side. Youse guys jerk dose numbers around all you want and I'll just have Daley fix things for me.

Comrade Chairman Meow wrote: ... we will produce whalehumyns with the whales thus furthering Darwin's Design...

Too late! That was accomplished decades ago by The Party's™ Genetics Lab in Harman, West Virginia. Here was the result:


--
Zampolit Blokhayev

Let us be careful; Bonnie Fwank is particularly fond of the sperm whale.

Thar she blows!