That's right: Republicans are lying and misrepresenting the current economic prosperity that you and your family have been enjoying since President Obama was declared the winner of the 2008 election. Don't believe me and heard otherwise? Did you see Neil Cavuto of Faux News tell you that unemployment was hovering at around 9%? Do you read the papers and hear story, after story, after story wax poetic that the economic outlook is not faring well and that we are in a so-called "recession"? Well, friend, you've been lied to and for far too long!

Friends, I have two words for you: NON-JOBS. Say it with me. Say, "The economy is surging, the stimulus worked -- although it wasn't big enough! -- and unemployment is a fat, bloated, pig-faced liar named Chelsea Clinton who dumped me for some ugly blood-sucking banker named Marc who would greatly benefit from Snooki's bronze toner -- that and possessing his own soul, the pale rat-faced banking bastard!"

Whew, see, see how good that felt to denounce the lies that that GOP-loving Chelsea Clinton and her Republican friends have been going around telling working-class families. I know I feel better -- even if I wasn't invited to the wedding. I hope you and Marc's children take after that distasteful slut mother of yours who was banging Vince Foster while your father was screwing fat Arkansas trannys! Your dress was ugly and your mother was wearing a moo-moo the night before the wedding! Everyone is laughing at you! Everyone in the Hamptons is praying -- praying! -- that you and Marc decide to purchase a beach home down South! You both make me sick!

OK, so, where were we? Oh yes, the non-jobs issue. Well, the economy is surging and we are being lied to with this carefully orchestrated narrative by the corporate-controlled media that the economy is sagging -- sagging like Hillary Clinton's non-existent breasts! You heard me! We have a real slump, two to be exact -- and both were tucked away in a moo-moo! Why don't you get Marc to help your mother put a little air in those deflated tires hanging from her chest? He can afford it. He is some big time banker on Wall Street who is screwing starving working-families with easy to get loans and trick financing. I mean, why? Why wasn't I invited to the wedding? I love weddings! I love catering, gift bags and rubbing elbows with the rich and powerful! Aren't I important? I wasn't going to make a scene! I wasn't going to get drunk and puke all over everyone like I did at your mother's swearing-in bash! I'm cleaned up now, I have a job again, the White House adores me and yet, yet you didn't invite me!? I bought you and Marc something lovely from Tiffany's and, I just can't believe I wasn't invited.


Is it my body odor? I know I have an odor problem, but so does your mother. I can only imagine what she smelled like when a cool breeze would blow up her pre-wedding moo-moo. I heard Steve Bing nearly passed out from the smell, Chels. Your mother is infamous for her bodily problems -- everyone at State whispers about it! -- and yet here you are denying me a little sunshine on such a glamorous affair! You act as if I was going to get coked up and start shoving handfuls of cake into my maw like I did at the last Clinton Global Initiative circle-jerk. Hey, you would do a little toot too if you had to sit next to some sweaty turd world dictator looking for a handout from your father! You people make me sick. You can forget having me host another fundraiser for any of you. Peasants!

THIS IS SO TRUE. Look at this photo of lies. They are not looking for work but going to a movie but they think we are so foolish as to believe anything on Faux News. Why, uh, it is all false. I do not know anyone looking for work (cough cough) that is what welfare entitlements are for!. . so, uh, umm, everyone must be working.

Defeat the lies; Watch MSNBC!

I bet everyone in that photo was invited to Chelsea's wedding! Ugh!!!!

Comrade Chairman, surely you understand our progressive science behind Obama's employment and job creation initiative? Closer inspection shows it was merely a simple re-write of the law of conservation of mass. Applied to employment, jobs in a closed system will remain constant over time. Jobs of an isolated system cannot be changed as a result of processes acting inside the system. Jobs therefore cannot be created or destroyed, although they may be rearranged in space, and changed into different types of jobs. This implies that for any employment creation process in a closed system, the jobs of the unwashed proles must equal the mass of the products. Since most US production has been moved overseas..............

Comrade, my history books and newspapers all say that unemployment has gone down to 9% from well over 30% when Obama took office. And chocolate rations have been increased under Big Brother President Obama also.

Even if the unemployment is high. Do not worry, Comrades. This is all good. It will teach people to be dependent on the government with one unemployment check after another. Besides, it is better to be unemployed and receiving a check than it is to receive some kind of stupid IOU if you are a California government worker. The fools.

Leninka wrote:Even if the unemployment is high. Do not worry, Comrades. This is all good. It will teach people to be dependent on the government with one unemployment check after another. Besides, it is better to be unemployed and receiving a check than it is to receive some kind of stupid IOU if you are a California government worker. The fools.