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Comrades,

I was just ruffling up my cedar chips for my day's sleep, when this poll caught my attention.

Poll: Darth Vader More Popular Than All 2016 Candidates

If the GOP ran Lord Vader - he would even beat out our best hope of Comrade Clinton! Even Boba Fett would beat out Hillary! And if they ran a Vader-Fett ticket, comrades - we could lose the election!

What are we to do?

Bring in Sulu?

Hmmm...do you think Vader could reach out to Hispanic Voters?
If not, He has no chance. I would say Luke is their only hope. He can appeal to minorities in a way that the others can't.

A machine that hates other machines for their technical differences is a machinist!

Comrades, this is a racist™ poll. Underneath the masks/helmets of both Darth Vader and Boba Fett are two white guys. Pasty white in the case of Darth Vader! If this isn't a clear case of racism™ from the rethugliKKKan party, I don't know what is! And think about this: Emperor Palpatine is more popular than Dear Leader and the fake Native American, Lizzy Warren! Talk about old white dude, complete with wrinkles! Racism! Heck, the creepy old white dude with wrinkles polls higher than Comrade Pelosi! And look at all the time, effort, and expense she goes through with her plastic surgeon to eliminate wrinkles!

Dear Leader needs to save his honor here. Draw a red line in space or something. Unfriend Emperor Palpatine on Facebook, freeze the Empire's assets here on earth (and freeze the Rebellion's assets too, since white guys Luke Skywalker and Han Solo are also way more popular than Dear Leader), close all wormholes and time portals to that Sith-ruled galaxy, ban Darth Vader and everyone else from that galaxy from our Disneyworld so they can't have events like this, and Dear Leader needs to quit using their lightsabers and thereby providing an endorsement.

Who did this poll? Where is Eric Holder to investigate the obvious racism™ here? I mean, Darth Vader more popular than Dear Leader? Vader is just a fake black while Dear Leader is fully half black! Where is Vader's diversity?? And more popular than Comrade Hillary?? Why, Comrade Hillary's personality is the same as Vader's! This was a sexist poll! I don't see Princess Leia anywhere in this! And where is Lando Calrissian????!?!?!?!? Or Mace Windu??!?! Look at the racism™ , Comrades!

Yoda is more popular than Comrade Lizzy, Comrade Hillary, and Dear Leader. I suppose this is tolerable because he does bring more diversity to the table than any of them.

Where are C-3PO and R2-D2 in this poll? Why are they discriminating against machines yet allowing cyborgs in there?

The admiral has been found offensive to our mooslimic comrades, (and their Zionist opponents) and will not be running for office.

"I would say Luke is their only hope."

Comrade Thought Sheriff, there is another Skywalker. More diverse too.

Comrade Tovarichi, it's a trap!