The most compelling argument yet for gun control

Comrades! This brief instructional video will put you on the cutting edge in the gun debate. No more will you need to fear facts and logic because now they're on your side! Master the basics of this video, and even lifetime members of the NRA will be silly putty in your hands.

Also, please help a comrade by posting your informed user comments explaining how...

• this video is amazingly factually accurate and logically irrefutable
• that you're a gun owner whose mind was changed by this video
• that guns are extremely dangerous to our democracy

And without further ado...


 

OK...



I can't tell if that was sarcastic satire or he's being really stupid. I am an optimist and am willing to lean towards "satire"

To that end, why is he not here at the Cube, mocking extolling mindless bozos geniuses of my generation??

If he is serious, what in the world is he even trying to get at??
 

 

Friends,

Did I just watch that guy murder an innocent Sciurus carolinensis nest support structure? Well,.. I did! I did! What a piece of crap garbage. I'll be tweeting and hashtagging and,.. whatever, till he's in prison and hanging from the fore-lower-topsail-yardarm! Arrr!

Captain Outraged
 

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If I see this guy with an assault musket in the forest...
I am running the hell out of there!!
.

.
...or is he just his doppelgänger?
.

 

I've never understood the concept of "gun control" at least for homicidal maniacs. Is that like a "Gun Free Zone"? You know, those areas where all the mass shootings seem to occur? CAN'T PEOPLE READ THE SIGNS??
 

Comrade Putout

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If I see this guy with an assault musket in the forest...
I am running the hell out of there!!
.

.
...or is he just his doppelgänger?
.

The resemblance is uncanny! Have we seen this guy on the Cube before?
 

The sly and most likely Sistema instructor Komissar al-Blogunov

The resemblance is uncanny! Have we seen this guy on the Cube before?
.
No... never!
(I need a new plastic lunch box... can you hook me up?)
.

.

 

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Thank you for your service, Komissar al-Blogunov!
.

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You know you want yourself...
.

 

Comrade Putout

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Thank you for your service, Komissar al-Blogunov!
.

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You know you want yourself...
.

Well, looks like the game's up. I am Komissar al-Blogunov.
 

Komissar al-Blogunov

Comrade Putout

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Thank you for your service, Komissar al-Blogunov!
.

Well, looks like the game's up. I am Komissar al-Blogunov.

We know that, Comrade. But, was it really necessary to kill that squirrel nest support structure just to make your point? Shame.
 

Captain Craptek

Komissar al-Blogunov

Comrade Putout

.
Thank you for your service, Komissar al-Blogunov!
.

Well, looks like the game's up. I am Komissar al-Blogunov.

We know that, Comrade. But, was it really necessary to kill that squirrel nest support structure just to make your point? Shame.

 

Comrades, those who hammer their Kalashnikovs into plowshares, will plow the fields for those who didn't.
 

The People's Anthony Sullivan

OK...
I can't tell if that was sarcastic satire or he's being really stupid. I am an optimist and am willing to lean towards "satire"

To that end, why is he not here at the Cube, mocking extolling mindless bozos geniuses of my generation??

If he is serious, what in the world is he even trying to get at??

If your question is serious, then it's an illustration of Poe's Law in action.

This was brilliantly done, hitting all the notes of the standard anti-gun argument, but it a way that shows the straw-man nature of all of them while having me ROTFL.

- SK
 

 

Why should guns be controlled?

Because without them you have to do it this way...(P/k [probability of kill] drops drastically, but the entertainment value goes way up. It's not easy to explain to hungry Children™ why there's no meat; but damn, wasn't that a laugh?)





 

Comrade Ivan,

The Youtube narrator's last words are: "...they just don't learn." Well, I submit that it's the narrator who never learns - we keep coming back cause it's fun! And it's free, too!

CC
 

Captain Craptek

And it's free, too!
Famous last words.
 

Captain Craptek

...And it's free, too!

Remember, if you're not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the commodity being sold.

- SK
 

Comrade Putout

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...or is he just his doppelgänger?
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Wait, isn't that "Sergei, the Russian Colluder guy?"

- SK
 

Chief Designer

Comrade Putout

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...or is he just his doppelgänger?
.


Wait, isn't that "Sergei, the Russian Colluder guy?"

- SK
Close relative.
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Why should guns be controlled?

Because without them you have to do it this way...(P/k [probability of kill] drops drastically, but the entertainment value goes way up. It's not easy to explain to hungry Children™ why there's no meat; but damn, wasn't that a laugh?)



Ivan,

The People's Rodent^tm never leaves home without one!

CC


 

As a former competitive skeet-shooter, I can only picture being on the bank with my over/under (with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time) calling "PULL" and leading the target just right...

good fun.
 

Comrade Whoopie

Comrades, those who hammer their Kalashnikovs into plowshares, will plow the fields for those who didn't.

Umm, errr...CRAZY AWESOME!
 

My Our Entire Beet Collectiv has been terrified! because of the very dangerous weapons that are displayed in this thread! We all gathered in the basement of the Peoples' Beet-Warehouse to escape the danger!

But after a cautionary extremely-informative call from the State Bureau Of Beet And Hoe-Handle Production, I ordered we all decided that the Beet Field Workers will resume their customary duties immediately (if they know what is good for them - and their families...)
 

 

 

 

Red Square

 

Komissar al-Blogunov

Red Square

Well, yeah, but slavery was legal when the Second Amendment was ratified and signed into law by Hitler.

I didn't know Bush signed the Second Amendment...
 

Captain Craptek

Komissar al-Blogunov

Red Square

Well, yeah, but slavery was legal when the Second Amendment was ratified and signed into law by Hitler.

I didn't know Bush signed the Second Amendment...
Saw it on History Channel.
 

Bush broke three crayons before he finished his signature. It was on the internet, it has to be true.
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Bush broke three crayons before he finished his signature. It was on the internet, it has to be true.


 

Excellent point, Comrade.

By Lenin, imagine what the People's Biologists could do with the DNA in the saliva still on the crayons!
 

But what colors were the crayons? We may have a hate crime here.
 

RedDiaperette

But what colors were the crayons? We may have a hate crime here.

 

Captain Craptek

The People's Rodent^tm never leaves home without one!

CC

These greedy humans just never stop oppressing the starving masses!

my mom put oil on her bird feeder to keep squirrels from stealing the bird food and pic.twitter.com/TkrmOR4KlH

— christina rotondo (@christinaroto) May 4, 2018

 

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?



 

I just realized that you can't spell Comrade Blogunov without "gun." That's a serious dog whistle that calls for the Party's special attention.

In other news...

When conservative gun store commercials are funnier than liberal late night comedy, we know who the winning side in the culture wars is.


 

Red Square

I just realized that you can't spell Comrade Blogunov without "gun." That's a serious dog whistle that calls for the Party's special attention.

In other news...

When conservative gun store commercials are funnier than liberal late night comedy, we know who the winning side in the culture wars is.



Murf reminds me of Nature Boy Ric Flair:


 

Komissar al-Blogunov (here)

... In any case, I agree this guy does have potential as Cube material.
tee-hee! _(← straight from Kremlin, Direktorate of Subversive Underbed Collusions)
 

A shocking development.