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The New Alphabet for Young Progs

9/5/2016, 10:23 pm
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Now that school is getting back in session, I thought I would make a new, more progressive alphabet so that we may pass along the blessings of progressivism to a new generation.

A is for Allahu Akbar

B is for Brezhnev, Beets, and Barack

C is for Communism and Compliance

D is for Democrat

E is for Electric Car

F is for Five Year Plan and "Four More Years"

G is for Gulag

H is for Hope

I is for Ignorance is Strength

J is for Jury Duty

K is for Komsomol

L is for Lenin and LGBT

M is for Marijuana

N is for Nuclear Protests

O is for Oil Protests

P is for Progressive Proletariat

Q is for Queen Hillary

R is for Regulation

S is for State, Socialism, Stalin, and Soviet Union

T is for Tractor Shed

U is for Unions

V is for Involuntary

W is for Washington, DC

X is for Ex-person

Y is for "You Didn't Build That"

Z is for Zero Carbon
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9/6/2016, 9:19 am
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They're A-B-C-Demented!
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9/6/2016, 3:22 pm
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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Now that school is getting back in session, I thought I would make a new, more progressive alphabet so that we may pass along the blessings of progressivism to a new generation.

B is for Brezhnev and Barack

And Beets! Don't forget Beets!

- SK
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9/6/2016, 4:50 pm
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Chief Designer wrote:
Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Now that school is getting back in session, I thought I would make a new, more progressive alphabet so that we may pass along the blessings of progressivism to a new generation.

B is for Brezhnev and Barack

And Beets! Don't forget Beets!

- SK

I knew I was forgetting something! It has been added.
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9/6/2016, 6:28 pm
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Wait...that's an alphabet? I thought all those letters were for marking paragraphs--you know, like, for example...paragraph C.
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9/6/2016, 6:39 pm
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Paragraphs only start with C, S , or T. All the rest is filler.
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9/7/2016, 3:18 pm
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In the Newspeak Dictionary V17.3 the alphabet will be completely abolished.
Only some bestial sounds will remain (I will try to capture their essence by transliterating to the despiccable "English" oldspeak alphabet:)

"Whoeeek": "I love my dear leader, Hillary"
"Wharghawharga": "I vote Democrat"
"Rhushamusha": "I get enough food from the government and I am happy"
"Bweeeergh": "We need more muslim immagrants, urgently"


There you have it. Why waste language on proles...

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9/8/2016, 5:59 pm
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And then there's...

Obama Scandals Alphabet Soup


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9/8/2016, 6:00 pm
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And this -

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