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The People's Cube Listed as #48 Top Conservative Blog?

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Comrades, there has been some gross misunderstanding, and our revisionist analysts are already doing media damage control.

Weasel Zippers listed us as #48 top conservative blog based on these statistics full of right-wing distortions and partisan propaganda, straight from the unfair and unbalanced Compete Site Analytics,

Report: Top 50 U.S. Conservative Blogs as of July

Let me assure you that we will soon come up with a plausible explanation, the guilty will be punished, the progressive media will back us up, and before you know it this will have never happened.

(Attention Commissar of Space-Time Continuum: your presence is urgently required in the conference room. Strong coffee and pickle brine will be provided on location).

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I am afeard that the MSM is just not doing the right correct thing anymore. I blame them entirely for not keeping current with the Current Truth ™. They got caught with their pants down and now we poor proles must suffer the shame of their misdeeds. Everyone knows how hard The Party ™ works to put the proper spin on all that happens these days.

How could we have been so grossly misunderstood? I am concerned that there may be some denunciations and purges needed. However as I am currently serving some time in a re-education centre I think I can claim complete innocence in this matter. It's not like I serve on The Committee or anything like that there.

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BLASPHEMY!!

Is this some kinda joke to discredit us by linking us with the enemy? How could this happen?
Every single day we work to spread the word of the progressive agenda, and this is the payback we get for our tireless efforts.

Just today I am expecting my "People's Cube" to be lately delivered by one of the state workers from the United States Postal Service so I can place it in my 8th grade re-education class so my "People's" students can learn the value of working for no reward. This is what I get for sacrificing my time and my govt. rations for the cause?

Chairman Red Square. What are you going to do to Korrekt this accurate disgraceful charge?

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El Presidente wrote:Chairman Red Square. What are you going to do to Korrekt this accurate disgraceful charge?

To begin with, we must organize protests at Weasel Zippers' headquarters on Wall Street and on the lawn of their CEO. Our fists can't wait!

Weasel_Zippers_Fist.jpg

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AAAAKKKKK!! Are they trying trying to ruin the Cube?! This is blasphemy to connect the most glorious Cubical with reichwingers!!! A SPIT ON Weasel Zippers! (spit spit)

I am ready to picket, dear comrades! Let's UNZIP THE ZIPPERS!

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Looking on the bright side. Forty Eight (48) out of 100 is almost equal. Let's all make a mediocre effort to achieve 50. (I use the term "achieve" metaphorically of course.)
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Comrade Comrade, once again you have uttered such brilliance in speech. There is no one like the mediocre; no one is more mediocre than fearless Leader.

(humm, is that what I meant to say??)

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Peoples Comrade,

Your thought is pure prog! But we shouldn't be on the list at all!

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Why is there such confusion regarding Stalin and conservatism? I recall that interview with the People's Director. The interviewer declared the Collective™ as a "conservative version of the Onion." Thankfully Red Square didn't shoot him on the spot and took the time to explain that we are the "Stalinist version of the Onion."

Our arch-nemesis Rush Limbaugh got it right, why can't anyone else?

And why are we always being compared to this Onion thing? Screw the Onion. The Onion is just a copycat version of us dammit!

So predictable. Reich-wingers are ratcheting up the hateful rhetoric again. Comrades, we've been smeared. We're victims of the Party of No's conspiracy to preserve the US Constitution. We're in danger of losing the blind trust of Americans everywhere if this guilt by association slander sticks.

May I suggest to the Inner Party Elite that we play the race card on these zipper non-persons?

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I'm for contacting PETA and have them shut down this outfit. Making zippers from weasels is cruel, unwarranted, and certainly illegal in California.

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Comrade Red Square, Do not despair! We may only be number 48 out of the top 50 conservative blogs but we are still number 1000 (out of 500) on the Top Liberal Progressive blogsites! Maybe we can apply for a very large grant from the government, money always seems to help assuage collective guilt when things go wrong.........

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Red Square wrote:To begin with, we must organize protests at Weasel Zippers' headquarters on Wall Street and on the lawn of their CEO. Our fists can't wait!

Weasel_Zippers_Fist.jpg

How I love the opportunity to do some FISTING! Great idea, Red Square!

I might even go gloveless for this OHHhhhhhh so special round.

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Also, why is it that ONLY a More Equal Being and an idiot have voiced their protest?

Go.... protest this bullshiite and feel good about yourselves...

https://weaselzippers.us/2010/08/11/rep ... s-of-july/

In related news...

ella rose riehle the peoples cube weazel zippers.jpg

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Comrades. "The People's" mailman" delivered my People's Cube this afternoon. I was never one who was willing to work at completing the fascist Rubik's Cube. I never gigured out how to get more than two sides completed. But, this afternoon, after receiving my "People's Cube" I asked my wife to mix it up for me....to make it challenging. Comrades! I completed the "People's Cube" in less that one hour! How glorious an invention and what a great metaphor for societies potential.

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Remain calm, Comrades, All is Well. This is simply a pathetic Right Wing attempt to use one of our primary tactics against us. You know how we accuse the Right of doing the things that we are actually doing? Like bussing in SEIU thugs to counter-protest at a TEA Party rally, and then claiming that all the TEA Party atendees are paid astroturf? Or like we claim over and over again that the Republicans are all a pack of racists, when it's US (hehehe) who are actively working to forge the chains to bind the minorities to our withered government teat? This is just the Right trying (and failing--as if ANYONE with half a working brain cell would think the Cube was tied to ANYTHING right wing) to soil our name with their vile lies.

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Comrade Brain In Jar,

HOW CAN ANYONE REMAIN CALM WITH THIS BLASPHEMY!!!

We must be with Comrade Buffoon and The Peoples Director WE MUST PROTEST NOW!!!

TEC ALERT: CLICK HERE FOR FRESH WEASEL

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This is OUTRAGE!!!

Comrade Buffoon... good that eveil zippery weasil has been for catching. How can anyone be for saying I am having beard? They are to be just excess FACIAL HAIRS!!! When will the dhimmis be for knowing the difference....

As for Cubists to be conservatives BAWHAWHAW. This is good misinformation. Soon we to have more of those evil Rethuglikkkans to be visiting and once they are for seeing just how korrekt is our ideology, then they will be easy catch for proper re-edukashun. Our illustrious Red Square has been making for very good propaganda.

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Just some additional protein for the collective.

Red Weasel Borscht Soup

Ingredients

  • 1 weasel (zipped)

  • 3 medium beets, peeled and shredded
  • 3 medium baking potatoes, peeled and cubed
  • 1 tablespoon lard

  • 1 small onion, (if lucky) cubed

  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1/2 medium head cabbage, cubed and shredded
  • salt to taste


1235171066fishercat_5F00_4790B72C.jpg

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Delicious Comrade Alfred! The collective has also found evidence as to why these weasels cannot calculate left from right very well...

Cheap Amerikan Beer!!!

beer-stealing-weasel.jpg

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The People's Cube Listed as #48 Top Conservative Blog?
Agghhh, ha ha ha. What a funny joke. Comrades, no worries, this is clearly a bad attempt at humor.

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Read the fine print, comrades! These statistics count only the kapitalist USA traffic. But 20%-30% of our daily traffic comes from the glorious nations of Canada, Australia, Britain, and the European Union, with an added trickle from Brazil and other socialist paradises of South America.

That's not to mention comrade Obamugabe of Zimbabwe, who alone should have more weight than 10% of pasty Amerikan visitors.

Which means only one thing: web statistics are racist and must be korrekted by an affirmative action program for the Web. Thus, one female visitor must count as two male visitors. One minority visitor must count as five heterosexual Anglos, etc.

I leave the rest to your imagination and creativity.

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Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:This is OUTRAGE!!!

Comrade Buffoon... good that eveil zippery weasil has been for catching. How can anyone be for saying I am having beard? They are to be just excess FACIAL HAIRS!!! When will the dhimmis be for knowing the difference....

As for Cubists to be conservatives BAWHAWHAW. This is good misinformation. Soon we to have more of those evil Rethuglikkkans to be visiting and once they are for seeing just how korrekt is our ideology, then they will be easy catch for proper re-edukashun. Our illustrious Red Square has been making for very good propaganda.

ImageYes Mrs. Al! The Weazel is caughteded, skinned and awaiting the fate of Gulag 4 Al's recipe!

Speaking of chin whiskers, do you know this gal?

thepeoplescube Mrs Alhappyendings.jpg
An extra Onion for those who recognize who this is...

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Which means only one thing: web statistics are racist
Father Cube, great point! Anyone with korrect knowledge can see what a FACT this statement is. Racism is everywhere in this evil capitalist country. Unless the information is posted here FIRST on the Cube, it is not to be trusted.
An extra Onion for those who recognize who this is...
It's either comrade Kagan or comrade Ahmadinejed; they're both cut from the same cloth. Or, their child maybe?

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I know we're close..... but is it to early for public purgings? Just asking.

mccain-guillotine.jpg

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Gulag 4 Alfred wrote:
Red Weasel Borscht Soup
Ingredients
  • 1 weasel (zipped)

  • 3 medium beets, peeled and shredded
  • 3 medium baking potatoes, peeled and cubed
  • 1 tablespoon lard

  • 1 small onion, (if lucky) cubed

  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1/2 medium head cabbage, cubed and shredded
  • salt to taste
Comrade Gulag 4 Alfred,
There are ways to improve your soup recipe, you know...

Your Friend,
His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.

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El Presidente wrote:Chairman Red Square. What are you going to do to Korrekt this accurate disgraceful charge?
Yes, Comrade El Presidente, it is disgraceful! We're going to eradicate that nasty vermin and shut down their website. Comrade Pelosi will issue a statement that Bush is to blame!

If that doesn't work use Rule 5 and rule 13 - problem solved, vermin website closed, webmaster to the gulag. Nice and tidy.

All the best,
Saul

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Red Square wrote: That's not to mention comrade Obamugabe of Zimbabwe, who alone should have more weight than 10% of pasty Amerikan visitors.
Comrade Red^2

I am Speechless. How dare you say that I equal merely 10% of Amerikkkans?

I demund an apology, Sir!

Obamugabe

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OK, 12%, but that's the final offer. We have new growing minorities to lure and appease, especially those building a victory mosque at Ground Zero.

Or that Palestinian serial killer of blacks across the USA, whom everybody refuses to call a racist and assign him the hate crime status because he represents the coolest, the most oppressed, and the most belligerent of all progressive minorities. Verily, a Palestinian cannot be a racist even if he happens to be a non-Muslim Arab from Israel!

So you can shove your race card into your bong and smoke it.

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Weasel Zippers have just launched a counter-attack against the Cube with a special counter-post:

Weasel Zippers wrote:

Weasel Zippers Attacked by Marxist Website…


Weasel_Zippers_HUAC.jpg
Where's Joseph McCarthy when you need him?…

From the subversive, Un-American ‘People's Cube

To the barricades, comrades! Now is the time! We have nothing to lose but our chains, pendents, brooches, cufflinks, and other haberdashery!

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As a most faithful member of The Collective I have risked life and limb to venture into Weasel Zippering enemy territory to stop these witch hunting McCarthiyite's from slandering our good name. I expect an honor of the highest standing from The Party™ for this daring feat and I will start with everyone's chains, pendents, brooches, cufflinks, and other haberdashery!

Please deposit them in the egg crate on your right, it's for The Children™.


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F.A.R.C.-EP wrote:
It's either comrade Kagan or comrade Ahmadinejed; they're both cut from the same cloth. Or, their child maybe?

Its Al from Happy Days!

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Whoopie pounding on his keyboard with his shoe typed...

"WE WILL BURY THEM!"

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Red Square wrote:Weasel Zippers have just launched a counter-attack against the Cube with a special counter-post:

To the barricades, comrades! Now is the time! We have nothing to lose but our chains, pendents, brooches, cufflinks, and other haberdashery!
Muchas apologies More Equaler, but I HAD to!

die weasel zippers the peoples cube.png

Hope I didn't start anything...

die weasel zippers the peoples cube A.png

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COMRADES!

NAVAL BLOCKADE NOW IN EFFECT. Posted following warning on that decadent site.

commodore snoogie woogums says:
August 15, 2010 at 6:41 AM

As Commodore of ‘The Peoples Navy' I have been tasked with with forming a Naval blockade of your site. Consider all your weasels zipped at this point.

Only ships that are bound for Gaza with a group of humanitarian sweetie weasels who wish to give huggies to HAMAS shall be allowed passage.

You've been warned.

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Question of the day:
How much would you pay to see members of Congress attacked by rabid weasels?

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Rabid weasels? That sounds uncomfortably Jewish, like Rabbi Wiesel....Ha! One more reason to hate them.

Oh, almost forgot, regarding your question. I wouldn't pay a dime, entertainment is a right and should be paid for out of stimulus funds by the taxpayers.

[OFF]

Ok, I would pay a small fortune, provided the weasels were riding on the backs of half starved tigers and grizzly bears.


 
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