COMRADES!!!!!!!

I am proud to announce that sea-trials are now underway for our latest Socialist Naval Technology.

This will revolutionize Naval Warfare and the ability to sustain our fleet for even longer periods out at sea with no need for re-fueling.

I may be jumping the gun a bit in my excitement to get this news out because we haven't seen her operate during night-time operations in calm windless seas yet, but my underlings tell me that should be no problem at all.

Batteries

My Comrades

I know that the USSA has a thing with "going green".

I must warn you though, that there is an important prerequisite for the renewable energy economy that your government is neglecting.

When somebody buys a gallon of gas, he pays a percentage tax on it. In the same way the green economy cannot work until the bureaucratic structure for taxing renewable energy has been put in place. There can be no migration from fossil fuel to renewable energy until this happens!

What needs to be done is that every bourgeois landowner must be taxed for the renewable energy that is found on his land:
--Sunlight: The surface area of the land of the land x the amount of solar energy that hits the land per surface area unit per year.
--Wind: Same, substitute wind energy.

In this way this limitless wealth can be redistributed to the People (e.g. ACORN) who were disenfrancised by the Imperialist pre-USSA USA.

The question may be raised why someone has to pay the government for energy he may not even utilize. It is simple: Firstly, it is not the government's fault that he does not utlise it, and secondly, you pay tax on your gas when you buy it, not when you burn it in your SUV.

And just think of all the Green Jobs (tax collecting agents) that will be created!

Viva!

Obamugabe

Obamugabe wrote:My Comrades

I know that the USSA has a thing with "going green".

I must warn you though, that there is an important prerequisite for the renewable energy economy that your government is neglecting.

When somebody buys a gallon of gas, he pays a percentage tax on it. In the same way the green economy cannot work until the bureaucratic structure for taxing renewable energy has been put in place. There can be no migration from fossil fuel to renewable energy until this happens!

What needs to be done is that every bourgeois landowner must be taxed for the renewable energy that is found on his land:
--Sunlight: The surface area of the land of the land x the amount of solar energy that hits the land per surface area unit per year.
--Wind: Same, substitute wind energy.

In this way this limitless wealth can be redistributed to the People (e.g. ACORN) who were disenfrancised by the Imperialist pre-USSA USA.

The question may be raised why someone has to pay the government for energy he may not even utilize. It is simple: Firstly, it is not the government's fault that he does not utlise it, and secondly, you pay tax on your gas when you buy it, not when you burn it in your SUV.

And just think of all the Green Jobs (tax collecting agents) that will be created!

Viva!

Obamugabe

Dear Comrade Obamugabe


How is it possible that Comrades can be taxed on something they do not own? Everyone knows that all property is part of the Kollective! It matters not how much wind is blown across the prairie you occupy, but the amount of wind that is blown from your arse!

Yes, ration and pay reduction for the emittance of harmful gasses such as methane from ones body. One of our esteemed scientists must devise a meter which attaches to that most noble of orifices to determine the exact amount of gas emanating from it immediatly!

Enemies of the state will only receive rations of B&M baked beans and Saurkraut, thus further reducing pay and rations! Job creation by way of meter readers and maintenance workers (What a glorious position to hold or behold)! For the people!


BTW, thanks to Redsquare and all members for allowing me to right all the capitalist wrongs, and to re-educate myself.

--Comrade of Doom

The glorious SS Van Jones! To be a proper member of the modern Obama navy, the guns should be pointing inward and the planes should be armed with laser-guided apologies.

Comrade Doom


The sad fact is that the USSA has not reached that ideal state of Utopia where all property belongs to the collective. Tax is one of the best ways to drive the bourgeoisie of their land. Tax them into bankruptcy and then redistribute the land (and their wealth) to the rightful owners: Those members of the party who are loyal to the Leader.

Comrade Obama grasps this reality, it is the basic premise of the Porkulus and Cap and Tax bills. He now just needs to realise that he needs to do it for green energy too.

What you say about taxing harmful bodily emissions is absolutely correct, and should be part of any serious cap and tax bill.

There should be a fart credit exchange set up in Wall street: People who are more flatulent (and exhale more CO2) than the government allows should have to buy fart credits from those people who produce less than their government alotted quotas.

And regulating quotas would be a fantastic way to re-educate thought criminals.

This could start a whole new industry: Hold your farts (and breath) for cash! Just think of the wealth this system could create in previously destitute inner city neighborhoods!

The USSA utopia may be closer than you think. If you can't wait, you are welcome to come live under my benevolenttyrannyrule in Zimbabwe.

Hope and Change!

Obamugabe

COMRADES,

ACTION REPORT:

Encountering a few 'minor' technical difficulties......Nothing a few more billion in stimulus funds wouldn't fix though.......SO NO WORRIES!!!!!!

Fair Winds (wish we had some right now) and Following Seas (about the only thing that is going to push this tub along right now, damn cloud cover).

Commodore Snoggie Woogums

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:COMRADES,

ACTION REPORT:

Encountering a few 'minor' technical difficulties......Nothing a few more billion in stimulus funds wouldn't fix though.......SO NO WORRIES!!!!!!

Fair Winds (wish we had some right now) and Following Seas (about the only thing that is going to push this tub along right now, damn cloud cover).

Commodore Snoggie Woogums

Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

I must beg some questions:

1. Are the solar panels and generators for the wind turbines party approved GE systems?

2. Did you consult with ACORN for logistical support prior to commision of your vessel?

3. Did your project incur billions of dollars in cost over-runs, and experience significant delays?

4. Did any govt. officials get lucrative employment and consultant offers from sub-contractors if they approved the project, preferably under no-bid conditions?

Please advise.

Comrade Commodore, I do not see the masts and sails?

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:COMRADES,

ACTION REPORT:

Encountering a few 'minor' technical difficulties......Nothing a few more billion in stimulus funds wouldn't fix though.......SO NO WORRIES!!!!!!

Fair Winds (wish we had some right now) and Following Seas (about the only thing that is going to push this tub along right now, damn cloud cover).

Commodore Snoggie Woogums

Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

I must beg some questions:

1. Are the solar panels and generators for the wind turbines party approved GE systems?

2. Did you consult with ACORN for logistical support prior to commision of your vessel?

3. Did your project incur billions of dollars in cost over-runs, and experience significant delays?

4. Did any govt. officials get lucrative employment and consultant offers from sub-contractors if they approved the project, preferably under no-bid conditions?

Please advise.

I'm going to advise that I demand a SHOW TRIAL for you!!!!!

It is obvious that your actually concerned that there was some sort of FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY by The People's Navy for this project. A most serious accusation and proof that you are in fact a.....gag, can't even say it with-out wincing first, A FISCAL CONSERVATIVE who actually wants to know how the People's money is being spent!!!!!!

There is NO WAY, that I can respond to your questions now knowing you actually expected me to READ the contracts before I awarded them to family members, close friends and others that I owed favors to totally non-bias quality producing factory collectives!

What's next you expect me to read Obama's healthcare plan before I give it my approval????

I'm sure if a proper investigation is done into your background (you know the usual planting of evidence, blackmailing, backstabbing and getting all the bribes out of you that we can) that even more nefarious miss-deeds on your part will be discovered!

Is there other Comrades such as Red Rooster, Colonel 7.62, et al who will join me in denouncing this thought criminal and seeing justice done through a well deserved SHOW TRIAL for him?

Psst..... Red Rooster, that should get him off our trail now with those pesky questions, glad to see your factory is in full production, by the way your cousin is working out fine as a "consultant" on my project, by the way when can I actually meet him? And could you tell him that since he is earning 600,000 dollars of the peoples money that he might actually send me at least some sort of report once in awhile.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Commodore, I do not see the masts and sails?

One word......."Stealth"

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:COMRADES,

ACTION REPORT:

Encountering a few 'minor' technical difficulties......Nothing a few more billion in stimulus funds wouldn't fix though.......SO NO WORRIES!!!!!!

Fair Winds (wish we had some right now) and Following Seas (about the only thing that is going to push this tub along right now, damn cloud cover).

Commodore Snoggie Woogums

Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

I must beg some questions:

1. Are the solar panels and generators for the wind turbines party approved GE systems?

2. Did you consult with ACORN for logistical support prior to commision of your vessel?

3. Did your project incur billions of dollars in cost over-runs, and experience significant delays?

4. Did any govt. officials get lucrative employment and consultant offers from sub-contractors if they approved the project, preferably under no-bid conditions?

Please advise.

I'm going to advise that I demand a SHOW TRIAL for you!!!!!

It is obvious that your actually concerned that there was some sort of FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY by The People's Navy for this project. A most serious accusation and proof that you are in fact a.....gag, can't even say it with-out wincing first, A FISCAL CONSERVATIVE who actually wants to know how the People's money is being spent!!!!!!

There is NO WAY, that I can respond to your questions now knowing you actually expected me to READ the contracts before I awarded them to family members, close friends and others that I owed favors to totally non-bias quality producing factory collectives!

What's next you expect me to read Obama's healthcare plan before I give it my approval????

I'm sure if a proper investigation is done into your background (you know the usual planting of evidence, blackmailing, backstabbing and getting all the bribes out of you that we can) that even more nefarious miss-deeds on your part will be discovered!

Is there other Comrades such as Red Rooster, Colonel 7.62, et al who will join me in denouncing this thought criminal and seeing justice done through a well deserved SHOW TRIAL for him?

Psst..... Red Rooster, that should get him off our trail now with those pesky questions, glad to see your factory is in full production, by the way your cousin is working out fine as a "consultant" on my project, by the way when can I actually meet him? And could you tell him that since he is earning 600,000 dollars of the peoples money that he might actually send me at least some sort of report once in awhile.

Dear Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

You are grossly misinterpreting my motives. Read question #4 again carefully.

4. Did any govt. officials get lucrative employment and consultant offers from sub-contractors if they approved the project, preferably under no-bid conditions?


Actually I was ensuring you are following proper progressive protocol. However, after further review of your response I am 100% satisfied that you follow corrupt progressive business practices.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:[There is NO WAY, that I can respond to your questions now knowing you actually expected me to READ the contracts before I awarded them to family members, close friends and others that I owed favors to totally non-bias quality producing factory collectives!

Comarade,

Clearly there was a misunderstanding here. As a token of progressive unity I invite you and your your crew of horney drunken loyal patriot sailors to visit us when you you dock in San Diego sometime.

I manage an ACORN approved brothel our-reach center there in SD and wish to honor your service to country.

Regards,

Infidel Castrate

Comrade Castrate, I am backing the Commodore here with the full resources of my department. Consider that one carefully. Already I have seen to it that some of the most ingenious contracts and bribes have taken place in a careful chronological fashion, and also have seen to it that similar contracts have been filed for future ships, even though they do not yet exist. Also, you may have missed a deposit from several months ago in your secret offshore bank account.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Castrate, I am backing the Commodore here with the full resources of my department. Consider that one carefully. Already I have seen to it that some of the most ingenious contracts and bribes have taken place in a careful chronological fashion, and also have seen to it that similar contracts have been filed for future ships, even though they do not yet exist. Also, you may have missed a deposit from several months ago in your secret offshore bank account.

Colonel,

I checked my secret offshore bank account IRS-designated 501(c)(3) non-profit charity account, seems you are correct, I recieved your "donation". Thank you and keep up your good work, you are truly a Patriot.

I trust you have some rum and cigars in the interests of international relations eh Comrade?

Infidel Castrate,

Not so fast Bearded one. There was no serious groveling in your so called explanation as to your motives, I suspect deeper things on your part are involved here.

I stand by accusation that you are a FISCAL CONSERVATIVE and I'm also hearing though not confirmed yet that you actually READ OBAMA'S healthcare plan.

Comrade Commodore, you only have to look to Comrade Castrate's own admission of a tax deductible bank account to prove that he is up to no good. Any true Party Member(TM) would not admit to having ANY sort of bank account, let alone acknowledge the receipt of money into it.

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:[There is NO WAY, that I can respond to your questions now knowing you actually expected me to READ the contracts before I awarded them to family members, close friends and others that I owed favors to totally non-bias quality producing factory collectives!

Comarade,

Clearly there was a misunderstanding here. As a token of progressive unity I invite you and your your crew of horney drunken loyal patriot sailors to visit us when you you dock in San Diego sometime.

I manage an ACORN approved brothel our-reach center there in SD and wish to honor your service to country.

Regards,

Infidel Castrate

I will say though I do appreciate this offer though until a few minor details are worked out here on my solar powered aircraft carrier (seems night operations didn't quite work out as well as we had hoped).....It might be just a teensy little while before I can take you up on that.

Obamugabe wrote:Comrade Doom


The sad fact is that the USSA has not reached that ideal state of Utopia where all property belongs to the collective. Tax is one of the best ways to drive the bourgieosie of their land. Tax them into bankruptcy and then redistribute the land (and their wealth) to the rightful owners: Those members of the party who are loyal to the Leader.

Comrade Obama grasps this reality, it is the basic premise of the Porkulus and Cap and Tax bills. He now just needs to realise that he needs to do it for green energy too.

What you say about taxing harmful bodily emissions is absolutely correct, and should be part of any serious cap and tax bill.

There should be a fart credit exchange set up in Wall street: People who are more flatulent (and exhale more CO2) than the government allows should have to buy fart credits from those people who produce less than their government alotted quotas.

And regulating quotas would be a fantastic way to re-educate thought criminals.

This could start a whole new industry: Hold your farts (and breath) for cash! Just think of the wealth this system could create in previously destitute inner city neighborhoods!

The USSA utopia may be closer than you think. If you can't wait, you are welcome to come live under my benevolenttyrannyrule in Zimbabwe.

Hope and Change!

Obamugabe

A brilliant idea, Comrade Obamugabe! As a subset of the fart exchange, all bean consumption should be included in this fart exchange business, and cucumbers, and popcorn, and any food that causes flatulence. Vegans, especially, with their consumption of these kinds of foods in mass amounts ought to be audited every year for their over-production of methane. Oh, wait a minute, what about poor people who eat rice and beans to subsist because they can't afford meat? Oh, now my head is spinning.

Nevertheless, here is an amusing video related to the subject:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Infidel Castrate,

Not so fast Bearded one. There was no serious groveling in your so called explanation as to your motives, I suspect deeper things on your part are involved here.

I stand by accusation that you are a FISCAL CONSERVATIVE and I'm also hearing though not confirmed yet that you actually READ OBAMA'S healthcare plan.

Comrade,

I confess that I read OBAMA'S healthcare plan, truth be known ... I wrote it!

Colonel 7.62 wrote:I trust you have some rum and cigars in the interests of international relations eh Comrade?

Most certainly Colonel. In addition to the rum and cigars, Please check out our latest brochure from our Dept. of Tourism ...

http://lanic.utexas.edu/project/asce/pd ... mbull2.pdf

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Infidel Castrate,

Not so fast Bearded one. There was no serious groveling in your so called explanation as to your motives, I suspect deeper things on your part are involved here.

I stand by accusation that you are a FISCAL CONSERVATIVE and I'm also hearing though not confirmed yet that you actually READ OBAMA'S healthcare plan.

Comrade,

I confess that I read OBAMA'S healthcare plan, truth be known ... I wrote it!

COMRADE!!!!!!!


You confess DURING your show trail not BEFORE it.

I am also adding the charge of plagiarism to your ever increasing crimes. You could not have written this brilliant piece of legislation who do think you are Joe Biden?

I sense a serious keel-hauling in your future Comrade.

Comrade Commodore, if you wish to deal with Comrade Castrate's future, you must first file the appropriate forms and payments to have his time redistributed to your office.

But of course my most equal Comrade Colonel,

My Naval messenger is on his way to your H.Q with forms and payments as we speak (Don't worry still in small denominations and random serial numbers in the suitcase as usual).

Excellent Commodore. Expect immediate processing and response (Up to 5 years).

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:

Infidel Castrate wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Infidel Castrate,

Not so fast Bearded one. There was no serious groveling in your so called explanation as to your motives, I suspect deeper things on your part are involved here.

I stand by accusation that you are a FISCAL CONSERVATIVE and I'm also hearing though not confirmed yet that you actually READ OBAMA'S healthcare plan.

Comrade,

I confess that I read OBAMA'S healthcare plan, truth be known ... I wrote it!

COMRADE!!!!!!!


You confess DURING your show trail not BEFORE it.

I am also adding the charge of plagiarism to your ever increasing crimes. You could not have written this brilliant piece of legislation who do think you are Joe Biden?

I sense a serious keel-hauling in your future Comrade.

COMARADES!

Wait, I am innocent. Please disregard any postings that you read. My brother Raul has hacked into my computer and is using all my online accounts to smear me!

During my recent illness my brother Raul has attempted a coup d'état, he really is a Reich Wing conspirator traitor. A capitalist in disguise.

I discovered that he is selling CHE Tshirts ... yes, for profit. To top that he is targeting those shirts towards spoiled rich USSA kids who live off mommy and daddy! In a true Communist utopia everyone lives of the govt., not mommy and daddy.

He is also trying to re-open the casinos and is working to allow free trade and travel between the USSA and Cuba, and now promoting sex tourism.

We must stop him and preserve the Marxist regime in Cuba.

DamMitRomney!! What in Stalin's name is going on here!?! I've seen enough!

Get Comrade Infidel Castrate to the nearest train station NOW!!! The Peoples Republic of Cuba is not safe with him in charge. This is a travesty comrades, he has defaced The Party with slander, lies, and a good bit of Cuban cigars!

Colonel 7.62,

Please prepare the Red Guard for transportation of this prole and proper execution should he be found guilty (which he will be of course...er... I mean a fair trial is in the works).

Damn Cuban Cigars!

========================================

Pssst... Commadore Snoogie, thanks for taking care of my worthless cousin Rusty Rooster, what a pain in the beak that fowl was. I'll have Janyt Woomba Loomba draw you up a fake report and get it out to you right away.... er, next year... er something.... Great Ship by the way!!! You should be very proud of your engineers from the Yugo factory.

The Red Guard is already ready. In fact we have already filed the proper paperwork on Comrade Castrate's demise and show trial. However, we still must hold a trial for The Public Good(TM), despite having already measured and determined the length of his (short) future.

Excellent! Now whom ever would like to announce this execution.... er.. show trial to The People(TM), please contact the MSM and report on The Peoples Blog at once.

Wait just a cotton picking minute, Colonel 7.62. Don't rush him to his trial just yet. The Health Care Bill still hasn't passed yet, and there is time for more finagling. As Comrade Infidel Castrate admits he is the author, he can once again put the pen to the paper, can he not?

There needs to be a special provision in there for electrolysis for female progs, free of charge, with no premiums required in order to get treatment. This damn Paris Hilton has turned the femynist movement upside down, and I'm starting to look a little dated, a la Gloria Steinem, if you know what I mean. For my face, it would take thousands of dollars to shock treat every follicle. Comrade Infidel Castrate, can you please write this into the health care bill? If you do, I will see what I can do about pulling some strings on your behalf.

Figures,

The bearded thought-criminal and the Bearded lady are in co-hoots on this.

Why am I not surprised.

Comrade Leninka, Time(TM) is on my side! We can rush to show trial, even have an execution, and UNDO IT ALL with the stroke of a pen. In fact, as far as my office is concerned, the Health Care Bill has already been signed. It is not our fault that not everyone is equal enough to realize we are now living on Party Time(TM). More Jifi Lobo for those who do not see the glorious world of Next Tuesday(TM)!

COMRADES!

THE SHOW TRIAL WILL BEGIN IMMEDIATELY..... er wait, we have to consider BEARDS here... hmmmmmmmmm.... nope! I don't have beard, nevermind, carry on.

Oh, yes, it's time for a shotshow trial for Castrate. Castrate has proven himself to be a lousy, lying, thieving bastard with the morals of a dyspeptic alligator and so it's time for a show trial.

Since Pupovich is absent, I will myself preside over the show trial of Castrate.

Castrate, you better get ready to abase yourself before the collective. First you have to denounce all capitalism and meritocracy.

Second you have to be generous in spreading the love from people whom you have not denounced.

Third, you will report to the Rancho de Rio Grande for training. You be instructed by Our Many Titted Empress and Nansky Peloski in the finer points of being a true progressive. By the time your instruction is ended, I will be able to say, "Castrate, see that greasewood bush..." and you will instantly finish with, "...lied and people died!"

Then we shall have your show trial, when you will be judged by a jury of nano Jimmy Carter rabbits hissing, "Nuclar! Nuclar! Racist! Nuclar!" and if you make it through the jury selection, then you will be incarnated a Made Progressive and be able to sit on the left hand of Lenin.

But most important, you will be able to explain just what the fuck Gollum is ranting about. Inquiring minds want to know.

Commissar Theocritus!

A GLORIOUS honor to have you as Judge.

I hope this thought criminal can get his sorry butt out of watching Faux news and be able to present some sort of evidence to at least try to exonerate himself.

I'm prepared to examine any evidence as all other Comrades here are, that he may offer in his feeble defense. I also hope he provides the proper documentation when depositingpresenting his evidence into my off-shore bank account H.Q for to ensure it isn't tampered with.


Pssst.........Red Rooster, I have a some good news and bad news about your cousin Rusty Rooster. The good news is I found out why I haven't received any reports from him. The bad news is that your Cousin sorta wandered into the ships galley.........And it seems there was a little misunderstanding by the crew as to why he there.

The die has be cast....

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=4058

Excellent! A show trial for Castrate! Only one problem, I guess there's one interrogation technique we can't use, uh, you know which one. Someone beat us to it, forgive the pun.

Comrade Snoogie-Woogie, I love your really bitchin ship, with the whilrly propellers and solar panels and sippy cups with your admiralty seal upon them. I understand that many proles do not see the genius of your design. I am struck with awe at the boldness of your plan. And the aircraft that presume to use your aircraft carrier will do so at their own risk, no? Your clever ploy is only obvious to the subtle wit. Of course no pilot in his right mind would land on a carrier deck festooned with windmills, thick as pimples on Chairman Meow's face. Instead, it will become low-cost housing property for Acorn to develop. Sheer genius!

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Pssst.........Red Rooster, I have a some good news and bad news about your cousin Rusty Rooster. The good news is I found out why I haven't received any reports from him. The bad news is that your Cousin sorta wandered into the ships galley.........And it seems there was a little misunderstanding by the crew as to why he there.

The fried chicken served at the Commodore's black-fur reception was especially crispy and I had to have a second helping! Paw-lickin' good! Oh - I just realized, there was a name card for a Rusty Rooster next to my table setting, and he never showed...that is, he never sat down for dinner...but I did find it in myself the ability to gobble up his plate as well as my own. Who says we kittens are 'finicky' eaters!

Meowwwww....

General Mousey-Tounge!

Thanks for the help devouring taking care of Rusty Rooster, a pain in the beak that prole was!I'm sorry I missed the reception, it must have been grand, and I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate ride on one of the wind turbines... Snoogie described how you spun and hissed and lost your fried chicken lunch with great detail and laughter... er I mean he was truly sadden by the whole affair in the hour we spent on the phone talking about it.

As for this prole Infidel Castrate, it seems he needs council, we thought that maybe you could fry him help him out in that department. What do you say General Mousey-Tounge? As a ruse to gather your enthusiasm, Commissar Theocritus IS the judge in this affair. Or is Peoples Prosecutor maybe to your liking?

Que tu la wuevos castración?

General Mousey-Tongue!

It was a pleasure to have you on-board! We were planning on some nice fried Mahi-Mahi tuna steaks for you an your entourage but as mentioned before there was a....err... a last minute change to the menu. I'm glad you enjoyed your tour of my fine Socialist engineered vessel!

I must let you know that I did have a phone chat with Red Rooster and did discuss your unfortunate accident with the wind-turbine as I felt so bad about and needed another Comrade's ear to bend. Though rest assured as you and I both know Red would love to get his claws on the security tape that was taken of this sad accident and use it against you sometime in the future. The tape is safe with me and he will never know it was taken.

You have my word on that.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Excellent! A show trial for Castrate! Only one problem, I guess there's one interrogation technique we can't use, uh, you know which one. Someone beat us to it, forgive the pun.

Comrade Snoogie-Woogie, I love your really bitchin ship, with the whilrly propellers and solar panels and sippy cups with your admiralty seal upon them. I understand that many proles do not see the genius of your design. I am struck with awe at the boldness of your plan. And the aircraft that presume to use your aircraft carrier will do so at their own risk, no? Your clever ploy is only obvious to the subtle wit. Of course no pilot in his right mind would land on a carrier deck festooned with windmills, thick as pimples on Chairman Meow's face. Instead, it will become low-cost housing property for Acorn to develop. Sheer genius!

My humble apologies General!

Thank you for you compliments on my design!! I really just read your post just now and I must say you've really are a smart cat! I have to keep this short as I have just become aware of another slight problem with my design and need to let my crew know fast.



WAVE EM OFF..... WAVE EM OFF !!!!!!!!!!! FOR GAWD SAKES DON"T LET HIM LAND!!!!!!!!!!

Snoogie, I too love your boat. If you're going with the wind then the turbines won't turn at all. If you're going against the wind the turbines will turn but then you'll be expending more energy than the turbines make. This is inspired, and the Department of Education has told me, up close and personal, that they're all for it.

In fact I had a call from The Goracle himself.

"Theocritus, have you seen Snoogie Woogums' ship? I have to have one like it. I mean I have the Bio Solar One but it doesn't have turbines on the top. And you know me--I am nothing if I don't have a propeller on my head.

"I think that I need to get my dear friend Teddy to drive Snoogie to the bank. That's right, to the bank, so I can get access to his bitching ship."

Thank for the kind words Commissar!

Between you and our most equal and esteemed General Mousy's kind words as to my design and some of the very minor potential flaws ( Fouled Flight Deck, Wind-Turbines etc) that you both have kindly pointed out, my immense gratitude to you both.



Jesus Christ as I mutter to myself, what the hell go wrong next with this freakin' garbage scow???? Next thing you know is that I forgot to include life-rafts on the damn thing..........OH SHIT I DID FORGET...... Note to self...Don't tell the crew, Don't tell the crew.


By you way both you gents should know I just decided to provide the crew with swimming lessons to keep them in top physical condition.

Commodore Snoogie,

I fail to see the flaws in your glorious design!

You did say you got your funding from the NEA right?

Thanks Red,

There have only been some very MINOR flaws to my designed discovered so far. Nothing more wasted Stimulus Government money poured into this would not fix in a jiffy.

Flaws so minor they are barely even worth mentioning. As a matter fact some of the supposed defects being pointed out by the crew is more like sniveling instead.

Take for example those prima donna Jet Jockeys. They think the glare from the solar panels is just a little distracting when trying to land.............WHINERS.

Yes Commodore, I bet they sound just like Jet Engines reeling and crashing when they WHINE. Of course it couldn't be any worse than the Wooomba Loomba's at my factory.

"Red Roooooooster, can we watch the Viiiirginia-aaaa Monologues AGAIN! Weeee'reee boooo-ooored!"

I was just asking about the NEA funding because if you have to many problems there Commodore, we could always park it in port at San Francisco and fill it full of "performance artists" and make a fortune!!!

Let me know, comrade.

RED!

Unbelievable, we just tested the coal fire plant on my totally ECO-FRIENDLY ship just in case of those rare rainy days, windless days and well you now that pesky "night" problem with the solar panels.

Now those Jet Jockeys are sniveling that the smoke is blocking their view of the flight-deck when trying to land!!!!

TGIF Commadore,

Looks like, what with all that smoke blowing, your gonna need a good weekend. I have plenty of carbon credits comrade, they are dispensed weekly to my offices for all the necro-voters and farting cows.

Comrade Commodore, have you not received your new clocks and time keeping schedules? As The Party(TM) requires your ships to meet certain schedules, we have adjusted time in order for them to arrive in port when needed. You will need to coordinate Navy Time(TM) with Comrades Pupovich and Mousey-Tongue who are on Army Time(TM). Meanwhile it seems Pinkie needs to have Whacking Time(TM) allocated, and so many other times to arrange. n

The means of propulsion are largely meaningless now, because The Party has planned for everything, including your timely arrivals! Hmmm we will need Pilot Time(TM) too... much to do, much to do!

Comrade Colonel,

Considering that my offices deal with The End Of All Time(TM), how do you propose these allocation units be extracted from the dead?

A glorious pursuit for The Party(TM) would be taking back all the time lost in mass graves, just think if we could somehow extract the time from every prole we, uh... er... liberate?

That's a lot of time Colonel, I suggest we meet over vodka and beets and discuss this exchange like good thug krony commie capitalists socialists.

Comrades, I hope that we can agree that the new clocks do not in fact need batteries.

All comrades are on call all the time, so there is no such thing as being late for a meeting. And since everything that we play will, by definition, be on time, then there is no reason to pollute Gaia with batteries.

I cannot in fact think of a better way to jerk people's chains than to do away with time.

Thank you, colonel.

Batteries? Of course not. Instead we are working to issue each prole, each commissar, and each industry their own time schedules which they keep for life and adhere to. Or else. Kind of like a food stamp card, only for time. Their allocations are modified and changed as the Party sees fit.

Comrade Rooster, it seems you have the graveyards, and I have the Lifespan Duration Security Administration. Time from those mass graves is allocated before they reach your custody. How else do you think you are able to swill so much vodka, and yet not be hungover? Indeed, how do you think the entire Inner Circle(TM) is able to swill so much vodka? We need mass graves daily to ensure that hangovers are deferred well into someone else's future. Yes, let us meet over beets, vodka and caviar.

Comrade Commodore, I applaud you on your coal fired backup engines, they are brilliant. Any minor pollution they emit will be allocated to times already past, so you are free to use as much carbon as you like!

Colonel 7.62

Comrade Commodore, I applaud you on your coal fired backup engines, they are brilliant. Any minor pollution they emit will be allocated to times already past, so you are free to use as much carbon as you like!

OUTSTANDING my temporal Comrade!

In true prog fashion now I can pollute and not feel guilty about it, as the emissions are going to put on dead white European slaveholders in the past, who deserve it!

I feel good now about pouring all that soot in atmosphere, Glorious work Colonel.

Yup, those dead white Europeans have been allotted your pollution, and you have been allotted their clean air. It is most progressive.

7.62, I have been turning over in my mind the brilliance of your abolition of time.

I shall, instanter, take out as many mortgages as I can and then simply refuse to pay them. If we cannot say that a certain amount of time has passed, then we cannot say that it's time for a payment.

I shall of course instantly sell the houses to other people and pocket the cash. And not pay off the underlying note. Because since there is no time, then there is not payoff date.

But I do have a question. If Jodin Morey does manage to breed Janeane Gawdawfulo for the Prog Who Will Come, how will we know? Because without time there will no disruption of menses, and how will we know to dress in our red robes and sing "The Internationale" while The Prog Who Will Come is given to us? While <i>Carmina Burana</i> plays in the background.

Comrade Commissar, there is time, but it is measured in such a fashion to meet the needs of the party. So for instance, your mortgages may never come due, but Comrade Gawdawfulo will still remain on her cycle. Most equal, is it not?

Oh. And that means that Rosie O'Donnell will never quit talking, either, doesn't it?

And that Keith Olbermann will be on 24/7 with Gawdawfulo. But does that mean that the grease will never quit dripping from Gawdawfulo's skin?

I swear that woman't so greasy that if she didn't have hairy feet and legs she couldn't stand up and walk.