Tovarisches, it is apparent from the metrics we all have access to, and the obvious state of our children's lack of mental development and increase in cognitive dissonance ability that, while our Glorious Department of Education's minions are doing an excellent job of inculcating our children with Korrekt racial attitudes (whites=bad, anyone else=good), sexual morés (hetero=bad, gay=good), gender attitudes (men=bad, women=good), economics (Capitalism=bad, Socialism=good), math skills (2+2=whatever you want it to), government studies (the Government owns everything, including you, so worship The One and pledge allegiance to Him), science appreciation (Gaia is angry. Very, very angry. Perhaps if you sit in a corner away from her precious woods, deserts, waterways, mountains, and boggy marshes, don't move, and don't exhale those filthy disgusting polluting carbon fumes, she won't kill you quite as fast, because you're killing her by your very existence), concepts of faith and religion (Christians and Jews=bad, every other=good), and history (those old white bigoted racist homophobe slaver terrorist men who founded the USA were only and ever bent on destroying the world and the poor and enslaving the other races), said minions are wholly inadequate and ill-equipped for the task of training our children to reason, debate rationally with non-Progs, and explain for themselves why Prog Korrektness as we find and produce here at our Cube is the Path to Enlightenment.

We here at The Cube engage in spirited discussions over the merits evils of Capitalism and how the proud Prog utopian World of Next Tuesday™ will lead us into a Glorious, Harmonious 1000-year Reich era of peace and plenty with The One (whoever The One is at that particular time) at the helm, Gaia out of the lurch, and the Multiverse singing our praises as we do whatever we please to shepherd the proles in the Korrekt path of our choosing. Since reality expressed through satire has found a home here ultimate Socialist Utopia can only be created by Korrektly implementing the insightful postings and articles to be found on sites such as ours, action must be taken, and taken immediately.

Therefore, effective immediately, the Department of Education is to be eliminated, and the billions of dollars of Proletariat Wealth that it wastes yearly must be transferred to The Cube's coffers. The thousands of ineffectively used federal drones workers employed by the Department will be placed on our staff and taught to do useful tricks tasks, such as take dictation of our brilliant thoughts to spare our fingers from becoming cramped and take out the garbage.

Ushanka tip to: R.O.C.K. in the USSA, Korrektly showing our new drones workers busy at The Cube!

The Cube is the True, Korrekt Department of Education, and must be acknowledged as such in this eminently practical way.

For The Children™!

And what a great office it is, too, Comrade Redumdimski....it's so green to use all those retro tools that cost so little and ....well who cares how much energy they use up, it looks old fashioned so even if it's not energy efficient, it gives off that vibe. And that's what is important....the vibe. Someday at the cube our glorious workers will be using an abacus and smoke signals! Long live the regress progress of the proletariat!

Princess, until you mentioned it, I was thinking our glorious office was among the most energy efficient up-to-date and technologically advanced to be found anywhere. Surely our workers have not complained.

But then, I also think abacuses (or abaci, which indeed has a very Prog vibe) and fire are advanced technologies. Only we can't use them. We need trees for both abaci and fires and that is environmentally unfriendly. Mustn't upset Gaia! And the EPA HATES big carbon footprints, unless they're Algore's. (Or we could just burn evil Capitalist toys, such as corporate jets and yachts. Gaia wouldn't mind that, and no doubt the EPA would look the other way, as would Eric Holdem.) Plus fire is dangerous. Heck, abaci are too - Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, you know. Mustn't anger OSHA (Our Savior Has Arrived) - or better still, we'll annex that administration, too. Along with the EPA. Yes... They will be next...

How silly of me. I see what you mean, Comrade. Soon as we progress we will need only our fingers in order to count! ....Would 2 tin cans and a string anger Gaia?

TIN??? Oh, tovarisch Princess, please tell my Korrektly covered eyes that you did not type the word!!! Why, any extraction of Dear Gaia's Essential Inward Parts would be Blasphemy Of The Worst Sort! Please do not force me to alert GAIA Minister Neytiri. Her... Charms... Er, Beads - can be most invasive persuasive, I am told.

String... Even that is questionable. It typically requires Gaia's plants be sacrificed to produce.