Comrades, I came across a story in Pravda the other day which I do not understand the significance of. Perhaps one of you can enlighten me?

The story noted that one Tony Resume or Recordkeeper or something... Rezko, that's it!.... was sentenced to 10 and a half years in prison for something or other. Now, I have an excellent memory with only the Party-mandated holes in it, but I cannot for the life of me figure out who this Tony guy is or why he was sentenced to prison or why I should care.

I tried using the People's Uncensored Google to scour the Gore-net for information to fill in the holes in my memory. These are the headlines I was able to find on People's State-Approved Media:

Tony Rezko, who lives in the same town as a former or current president once did, sentenced to prison...

Tony Rezko, who may have once been a speechwriter for former president Bush, convicted of crimes against humanity

Evil felon Rezko sentenced to 10 1/2 year in prison, will most likely fall victim to unfortunate accident

Tony Rezko, an enemy of the people who often voted for Obama but who never met him (no, we mean it, Obama never heard of him) gets his just desserts

Tony Rezko, con man who claimed to have invented the internet, created numerous perpetual motion machines and served as advisor to President Obama, sentenced to 10 1/2 years

[Sigh] These are pretty much representative of the headlines I was able to uncover. As you can see, they all suggest this Rezko person was some kind of nut who sought to spread blame for his mistakes to innocent other parties, including President Obama. So, I am still clueless as to why it even matters that he was sentenced to jail (where he obviously belongs) as he seems to be like every other two-bit crook whose sentencing draws no attention whatsovever.

Anyway, if anyone knows anything more about him, please let me know. Ooops, gotta go, phone's ringing.... that's probably my broker with good news on my investment in Solynda shares.

Rezko.....Rezko? Rezzzzzzzko....nope, never heard of him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some photoshoppin' to be doing...

Comrades.... this is a most vile miscarriage of justice. Why, at one point in time our Dear Leader would not have had a pit to hiss in if Tony had not helped him in a very material way.

it must be another vast right-wing conspiracy that has taken down a helpmate to the One.

...and furthermore.... it was necessary for the One to throw him under the bus or else the One would not have done it.

Um... erm... there's an alternate universe where both of those things make sense. (all will be revealed ... next Tuesday)