As the subject line indicates, George W. Bush is a slow-witted liar. And I hate him. He is so slow-witted that on September 11, 2001, it took him seven whole minutes to realize what he should have known already, since he was in on the conspiracy—that planes had flown into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.
You’d think that he couldn’t get any more slow-witted than that, but no. Look at how long it took him to come up with an explanation—and a pretty lame one at that—for why he just sat there for seven minutes like the creeping slug he is, trail of slime and all . . .
Almost ten years!
Ten years to come up with a half-baked, half-assed, half-witted lie—jeez, you’d think someone who lies as much as he does would at least be good at it—in desperate hope of covering up his unprecedented stupidity. You’d think there could be no greater testimony than this to his unparalleled ignorance and inimitable ineptitude, but I’m sure there are such testimonies and rest assured they are legion.
Read this, if you dare, and I will dare you not to puke:
Quote:Former President George W. Bushsays his apparent lack of reaction to the first news of the September 11 2001 attacks was a conscious decision to project an aura of calm in a
Apparent? How about obvious? How about blatant? And conscious? When has he ever been conscious of anything? I have drunks on the floor of my hovel more aware of what’s going on than he ever was. And that’s after I bash their brains in with my shovel.
But still Bush lies, while thousands die:
Quote:"My first reaction was anger. Who the hell would do that to America? Then I immediately focused on the children, and the contrast between the attack and the innocence of children," Bush says in an excerpt of the interview shown to television writers on Thursday.
Ha! Like he never knew who the hell would do something like that to America! He orchestrated the whole thing and then tried to blame it on the Religion of Peace, so he could have an excuse to pound them into the sand and steal their oil the way he stole the presidency—just like he stole from the government by giving tax cuts to his fat cat billionaire and millionaire cronies, and corporate jet owners (who should never be confused with billionaires and millionaires, but are just as evil), and to junior senators from Illinois who didn’t need them and never asked for them. The nerve of Bush, forcing decent American citizens to take stuff they don’t need and never asked for. And since when did he ever care about the children?
But wait, there’s more . . .
Quote:Bush said he quickly realized that a lot of people beyond the classroom would be watching for his reaction. Can you believe his narcissism? (Oh yes, stupid incompetents can be narcissistic, too!) Instead of thinking about the children, or the thousands he’d just killed, or all the destruction he’d wrought so far and the destruction he had yet to wreak, what was he thinking about? How he looked! What people might think about him, or say about him! The world is falling to pieces all around him, and all he can do is sit there and wonder if his fly is open. Or maybe not, since stupid people tend to be oblivious to open flies.
But the narcissism doesn’t stop there. Just look at how many times he says “I” in this statement:
Quote:"So I made the decision not to jump up immediately and leave the classroom. I didn't want to rattle the kids. I wanted to project a sense of calm," he said of his decision to remain seated and silent.
Oh, baloney. He simply didn’t know what he should do, except sit there looking as if he’s above the fray. Talk about a failure of leadership. Talk about incompetence. Talk about not being able to handle that phone ringing at 3 in the morning, even if it was just after 9.
Quote:Executive producer and director Peter Schnall said Bush, who has adopted a low public profile since leaving office in January 2009, brought no notes to the interview. Obviously Mr. Schnall didn’t check the palms of Bush’s hands. Everyone knows that’s where stupid people write their notes.
Quote:"What you hear is the personal story of a man who also happened to be our president.
Listening to him describe how he grappled with a sense of anger and frustration coupled with his personal mandate to lead our country through this devastating attack was incredibly powerful," Schnall said. Why, this is nothing but shameless right-wing propaganda! He did not happen to be our president! He stole to be president of a bunch of right wing loons. Where does Schnall—whose name sounds suspiciously German and ergo Nazi to me—but where does he get off saying that Bush had a mandate?
I don’t believe any of this, comrades. To believe it would require me to accept that maybe George W. Bush once told the truth. That maybe he cares, even if he doesn’t care as much as I do. That maybe he isn’t the vilest, most depraved clump of cells ever to multiply in the swamp from whence he surely emerged.
No, he had some other reason for just sitting there, and the only possible explanation is that he was too stupid to know what to do.
Now, if anyone has any dumber ideas about why he just sat there, I’d like to hear them.
Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People’s Cube, and is renowned and admired by the masses for her dedication to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn’t busy making an issue out of everything, she likes to unwind by beating proles with her shovel, spending other people’s money, and indulging her Obamaphilia with Obamabilia until she’s Obamabilious.
He still loves you Commissarka, he always has.
I read it in HuffPo somewhere...........
Commissarka PinkieCommissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People’s Cube, and is renowned and admired by the masses for her dedication to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn’t busy making an issue out of everything, she likes to unwind by beating proles with her shovel, spending other people’s money, and indulging her Obamaphilia with Obamabilia until she’s Obamabilious.
A most equal sig line, Commissarka.
Quote:George W. Bush is a Slow-Witted Liar and I Hate Him! Reading that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It's spot on, and I totally agree. I HATE him too.
He’s trying to draw attention away from the birthday festivities, and make everyone look at him, even if everyone will do nothing but bombard him with well-deserved jeers. Why, he’s such a loser he’d welcome any kind of attention. You could spit on Bush and he’d say thank you and beg you to do it again.
But to do this on the eve of Dear Leader’s birthday is, like everything else Bush has ever done, beyond disgusting and reprehensible.
Not only that, but while reading the Sunday edition of the St. Pete Times this morning, I saw a gray box that caught my attention. Since this wasn’t the online edition of the paper, I googled two key words to see if I could find a facsimile of the text in the gray box, and then Mimeswipe™ it over here.
Comrades, my efforts were rewarded! I found it and am now sharing it with you all:
http://slatest.slate.com/posts/2011/07/ ... siden.html
Quote:Stunned confusion or presidential calm?
Guess which two words I typed into the search engine? Certainly not “presidential calm” or my computer would have crashed with all the trillions and trillions of results linking those two words to “Barack Obama.”
No, STUNNED CONFUSION were the words I saw in the newspaper. STUNNED CONFUSION is what I typed into the search engine.
Stunned confusion or presidential calm? Such phrasing indicates that we are supposed to choose which best describes Bush on that day—or for that matter, any day. Well, pardon the pun (and no offense to you, Betinov), but the choice is a no-brainer.
And why, you may ask, didn’t my computer crash from the gazillions of results linking to Bush? Well, maybe that had something to do with this question Google put at the top of the page—in red letters, I might add:
Did you mean “STUPID CONFUSION”?
Whew! Think of what THAT would have done to my laptop—especially if I’d included Bush’s name!
"Please,...mi dulce, calm yourself....your blood pressure, amori, it's..it's rising way too fast....Why your face is the exact color of your lovely bandanna.....Do you remember mujer? One of my multitude of talents? I was a trained medical doctor before heeding my "inner voice" demanding that I become a revolutionary for our glorious cause! WHOA NOW! Stop flailing that golden shovel around... quickly ducking as it almost hits him in the head....what a infallible aim our she-devil has!
Answer me now, as he gently pats her forehead with a cool, moist towel..., have you been watching your salt intake? Che' knows how blistering the heat is in the Sunshine state right now...it kinda reminds me of Bolivia.... You really must calm down,.....take some deep breaths, looks like she's been drinking way too many of those mojitos again.....suhhhhsh.......Now.....isn't that much better?
There...there....I'll get you a nice refreshing mint julep. Just have a seat on my new antique setee and put your feet up my dear...DAMN that puta, Bush!!! He still affects the poor senorita so, even after all this time...why, she's positively consumed with hate for the capitalista, imperialista cerdo!!............. now where did I misplace those Zantax ™??
Over the years, Google has accomplished many innovations, not the least of which was driving around every block in the known universe with cars capturing photographs for GoogleMaps, but also (accidentally - haha!) capturing all kinds of private emails and other personal information at the same time!! True innovation! After all, how better to provide for everyone's needs than to know everything there is to know about everyone! And being close, as they are, to Dear Leader and his administration, this insures equal government as well. How would Dear Leader determine the best way(s) to spread the wealth around if he doesn't know who has equal abilities and who has equal needs?
My hat is off to Comrades Eric Schmidt, Sergey Brin (a good Russian name!) and Larry Page!! If I were of greater rank and had more equal standing and abilities I would award them Beet of the Century!
Princess Nookie: "How Much Do You Hate George W. Bush" would be the perfect topic for a new thread. In fact, we could make an essay contest out of it, similar to the one here:
I'm sorry comrades, when I hear that infernal name it brings about an instinctive response.... please pass the elephant tranquilizer and a stiff shot of vodka.
Ah yes, all better now....
Bush Vs Zombies
Just as I was overjoyed at how our Dear leader really showed those Teabagging rethugglikkans how to actually negotiate and compromise by hiking up the national credit card with wads of other people's money I read the words BOOOSH here.
Now I am miserable and mad....Why? BECAUSE I HATE HIM, he is always showing up to ruin our Sainted Obama's moment of triumph. And guess what comrades? I have now have discovered that I have zit, yes a zit and it all because of BOOSH and his policies to gut the EPA and get more germs in my face washing water. When will this man just go away and let our poor Obama relish in the joy his leadership has brought to masses?
Betinov, you are right about the TelePrompTer. Bush didn't have one to read a book to children, but we know that Dear Obastard uses one all the time. Two as a matter of fact. Read something from one in a sententious voice with a soporific speech pattern, enunciate a platitude, turn head, and repeat. This works particularly well when Dear Obozo reads "See Dick. See Jane. See Spot. See Spots. See Jane see Dick. See Dick see..." turn head "...dick." You can see how this can degenerate rapidly.
By the time that children get to college, they will be conditioned to spit when Bush's name is even raised. They won't even talk about a bush in their front yard; it will be a shrubbery. This will also cause some concerns behind closed doors, suggesting that they may not breed, but then after college getting a degree which is gloriously useless and eye-wateringly expensive, they'll move back home and blog in Momma's basement for the DKos.
Father Prog TheocritusDear Obamabilious Pinkie, let me warn you about overdosing on the heady air of The Chosen One. He inhabits a rarified atmosphere, and he also sucks all the oxygen from any room that he's in. Personally I can get rather giddy when I just see him. I keep hoping that it won't rain and drown him.
Theocritus, you got me to thinking of the only kind of pot I ever want to inhale. Oh, to be able to go into Barack Obama's private bathroom right after he's spent 20 minutes sitting on the toilet therein, and breathe deep the lingering miasma! Can you imagine the bliss? The high?
Really, what could be better than to whiff the essence of His Odiferousness than to be allowed to sniff his bowel movements? I expect that the plumbers at the White House are stocking up on coprolites and I do not mean Joe Biden.
We should start a group: Oshit's Stercoraceous Living. For the truly hard core, we could have Odungo's Coprophage Unit, which would be headed by Paul Krugman.
I do worry about Dr. Krugman though; he was so shrill in denouncing the recent bill that I was afraid of a transient ischemic attack. We know that it was an awful bill; that bastard Paul Ryan said he got 2/3 of what he wanted, and he's always wrong. So Dowd and Krugman were right to hop up on a chair and shriek like a cartoon woman seeing a mouse. But I do worry about his blood pressure.
I have a confession to make, comrades: if you let any of ze little grey cells grow between your Jiffy-Lobo™ applications, then the Superheterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array Tin-Foil Hat makes your head hurt.