[highlight=#ffff00]NOT an Onion story-[/highlight]

United Nations to appoint space ambassador to act as first contact for aliens visiting Earth

By London Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 3:56 PM on 26th September 2010

If aliens ever land on Earth there will no longer be any confusion over who will greet them with the news the United Nations is set to appoint an astrophysicist to be their first human contact.

Mazlan Othman is expected to be tasked with coordinating humanity's response to an extraterrestrial visit, if ever required.

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We have found a new source for votes comrades.

I demand to know why the U.N. did not appoint " The Goracle " for this position !
Surely the one who invented the internet and climate change ( Is that what they're calling it this week ?) represents the best the People's Party has to offer.

Krasnodar wrote:I demand to know why the U.N. did not appoint " The Goracle " for this position !
Surely the one who invented the internet and climate change ( Is that what they're calling it this week ?) represents the best the People's Party has to offer.

Because the Goracle is a Space Cadet.

And to think, all this time I've been trying to perfect ways to send a Comrade INTO space.

We should replace their weak Mazlan Othman with our strong Laika!

To entire kollective....... I denounce us all !

Our dear comrade Laika should be alien ambassador !

Is already up in space ! Perhaps with certainties that advanced beings would already use tinfoil as indoctrination......communications device.

100% Infidel....my apologies to you ! I did not see your post ! However, we both agree on Laika ! So should everyone else................. And what is up with the "b" thing in my last post ? Must be The Hillary's "conspiracy of the rightwing " trying to upset communications. Remember, She is the one who told us they were the ones responsible for Monika Lewinsky fabrications.

This is an outrage.

Apparently LAIKA wasn't even the second choice!

Krasnodar wrote:And what is up with the "b" thing in my last post ? Must be The Hillary's "conspiracy of the rightwing " trying to upset communications.

Comrade... not our MTE but the EVIL BUSHILTER!!!!

'B' for BUSHILTER!!!

You must be for much carefullness. The evil Bushilter is hiding at all places ready to put 'b's' everywhere.

Laika: Heroic space dog, Friend of the People, U.N. Ambassador.
It has a nice ring to it.
Comrade Krasnador: No worries, as you know what they say: equal minds think alike.

Gulag 4 Alfred .....Your experiments for space explorations in video above are glorious to collective. But you must be keeping in mind the physics things........ Laika is very smarty and very light of weight....and you are very.......uh........heavier. That is why " Friend of Peoples" went into orbit, and you went into ceiling ! (next time, try launch outside at beet field cosmodrome)............ And thank you, Infidel..... " Equalness of equality is equally equal !"

Another OSHA training video above?

Oh and this:

Krasnodar wrote:Gulag 4 Alfred .....Your experiments for space explorations in video above are glorious to collective. But you must be keeping in mind the physics things........ Laika is very smarty and very light of weight....and you are very.......uh........heavier. That is why " Friend of Peoples" went into orbit, and you went into ceiling ! (next time, try launch outside at beet field cosmodrome)............ And thank you, Infidel..... " Equalness of equality is equally equal !"

Spasibo Comrade Krasnodor for recommendations - I do new plan:

Comrade Alfred...........I took picture of launch !

Krasnodar wrote:Comrade Alfred...........I took picture of launch !

*** INCOMING LAIKA TRANSMISSION ***

Soviet Engineering! Brilliant! Being outside at Beet Field Cosmodome seemed to do trick!

I was going to give bottle of Peoples Vodka ™ to Laika to console him on not being chosen this time for alien communications position at glorious U.N. - but as we all suspected with all the b's on this thread - I found the evil Boooooshitler was after our Friend of the People ™ - LAIKA!


Questions:

1) Will Peoples Vodka ™ destroy Booooosh Star?

2) Engineers seemed to have forgotten parachute - should I be concerned?

3) Is Lindsey Lohan still in filthy AmeriKan jail?

Answers for Gulag 4 Alfred:

1. According to central computer, vodka will not destroy evil capitalist ship, but will make it wobble uselessly in orbits.

2. Comrade...parachute is not problem...but your BBQ'd re-entry is. Maybe we can send up rescuecraft. How much oxygen do you have ? I will look and see if anything can be found out back of the barn ......vehicle assembly building.

3. We can only hope . I think "gulag therapy" would be of advisability.

G4A....come in ....G4A.....You are still there ? That is good. You might try asking benevolent Laika for some extra O2 rations........... I would not come back down just as yet.... the M.T.E. is undergoing some kind of hideous transformation on the news. ( Krasnodar hopings she She not be the closet capitalist....) Things are of much danger down here.

Comrades, have we called off the search for Prester John?

I'm just a lowly Hero Space Dog.

For Ambassadors I nominate Shirley MacLaine and Dennis Kucinich.

They have much more experience than everybody except Jimmy Carter, who I believe is not feeling well. Of course, just being in Cleveland can cause that certain sense of being "wellness challenged", hopefully the aliens will cruise by Cleveland and heal Jimmy and make the Browns a Super Bowl contender. Of these two hopes, I know Jimmy will get better first for not even extraterrestrial intervention can save the Browns. With that being said, I must pass on the nomination and I support the candidates aforementioned herewith.

Damn...

All I heard was "FEEL THE HOPE" ™, "I AM your father - Alfred" ™ and "Your the CHANGE somebody's been waiting for" ™. Next thing I know I throw Peoples Vodka (HOPE made me do it.) down some hole and:


Don't remember much else but now I'm in some strange land and the locals are
worshiping an idol:


WTF do I do now?

P.S.
Laika - glad to see your safe! Praise Lenin...
Also, being from Peoples Republic of Ohiostan, your broadcasted assessment of Brownshirts is the accepted korrekt thinking!

What about comrade Kucinich? After all, he's already made contact with aliens.

Ok, if no one else is going to say it, I will.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:I'm just a lowly Hero Space Dog.

For Ambassadors I nominate Shirley MacLaine and Dennis Kucinich.

They have much more experience than everybody except Jimmy Carter, who I believe is not feeling well. Of course, just being in Cleveland can cause that certain sense of being "wellness challenged", hopefully the aliens will cruise by Cleveland and heal Jimmy and make the Browns a Super Bowl contender. Of these two hopes, I know Jimmy will get better first for not even extraterrestrial intervention can save the Browns. With that being said, I must pass on the nomination and I support the candidates aforementioned herewith.

Comrade Laika: Long time listener, first time caller...love your transmissions! I am saddened to hear of your passing on the nomination, but I understand as you have numerous other jobs to perform. I will continue to tune in and catch your broadcasts as often as possible! . .

I'm surprised no one has pointed out the obvious choice of Henry Waxman. It wouldn't suprise me to learn that he is actually an alien hybrid that will come out of the closet when the time is right.

Physical appearance is very important at the moment of first contact.

Well comrades. Like I said right at the beginning- this wasn't an Onion story.

It apparently was a hoax however, according to the London Guardian-

https://www.guardian.co.uk/news/blog/20 ... lan-othman

Achtung Baby! Got Pants On, Ready To Open That Door #4?

pjl_u2 wrote:

Picture 20.jpg

Achtung Baby! Got Pants On, Ready To Open That Door #4?

I'm not sure if I should denounce whatever the hell that means or not. Can I get a ruling on non-sensical posts?