Image

What Were You Doing at the Moment Teddy Died?

User avatar
Comrades,

Tell us your story. Where were you at the moment Comrade The Swimmer died? I know it's a moment you will never forget. It will stick in your mind forever. So, do tell. Tell us what you were doing, what you felt, who you were with.

Image
Oh, and don't forget to take a look at the People's Cube scrapbook of Teddy's life in retrospective on the Mother Page, or Click Here

User avatar
I was sitting in the communal restroom redistributing some pre digested wealth.


User avatar
I was watching Faux News (so that I could report any criminal propaganda to the collective). They broke the news and I wept for hours.

PROG OFF
Such a shame he couldn't have suffered a few more months longer to witness the destruction of the Health Care Bill. Mary Jo can now RIP.
PROG ON

We will miss you Teddy.


Image

User avatar
I ran to my bookshelf, pulled out the Ted Kennedy scrapbook album, and started reminiscing: Chappaquiddick, lynching Clarence Thomas, and those nasty rumors about Dear Teddy and Comrade Chris Dodd screwing a waitress in a restaurant together. I won't remember him as "The Swimmer," as I know most of you fondly will. I'll always remember him as "Sandwich Ted."

User avatar
I was drinking vodka and staring at the vast galaxy of stars and thinking: "In 1969 the USSA went to the Moon, and I thought at the time, in twenty years we'll be on Mars, instead 40 years later the last of the Kennedy boys finally dies. One of these days Teddy! Straight to The Moon!!!" Today is that day.

A Sandwich Ted and Swiss Moon Government Cheese side Salad to go please.

Did Teddy get the Mass legislature to change the rules back that he had them change so that Kerry, if elected President, wouldn't be replaced by the then Republican Govenor Mitt Romney's decree???

The Current Truth Lives On with dear Teddy Gone!

User avatar
I was watching the Goons Highly trained Troopers polish the Ol'e Oldsmobile. Yes Comrades nothing sinks like an Olds.

Yes, the KKKapitolist, and Rethuglikkans do not have Teddy to kick around anymore. "Sniff Sniff, sound of nose blowing, fart....excuse me...

I am lowering the hammer and sickle to half staff. At least the Obamessiah is close by, perhaps he can go over to Hyannis and pick up a few things, offer comfort to the grieving family.

I am sure where ever he is now it is very warm........Stalin Bless You Teddy....Sniff Sniff.

We should all get drunk and...............



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalityä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

User avatar
Comrades,

I was in deep thought as I had been most of the morning contemplating the brilliant AARP commercial I had seen last night on the History Channel. You know that one with an ambulance driving wildly around tea bagging idiots trying to block health care reform.

Anyhow, it occurred to me the brilliant move that Swimmer Kennedy and the Dear Leader were about to unleash on the pro-death health care haters. The red stars had aligned with Sandwich Ted's illness and he knew that even while staring death in the eyeball there was opportunity to exploit the stare down for political gain and self important headlines.

YOU LEFT US TOO SOON TED!

It wasn't supposed to end this way! You needed to be here for the Dear Leader and many television spots linking your tumor to universal healthcare! No prole heartstring would have gone untugged, damn the details, the taxes and bankrupting the country. It is the demokratic way!

I was so upset with this turn of events that I considered denouncing Ted posthumously.

Now I weep! Not for you Sammich but for the lost opportunity. I assure you whatever reform bill makes it through the process will bear your name!

User avatar
I was going through Mime withdrawal, then I saw a shiny object and thought it was a shooting star.
It turned out to be space junk. Bruno saw it too.
Later I realized the gravitas of the event horizon and a black hole developed, sucking almost all matter into it including the Michael Jackson homicide hype.
Just before the Earth stopped rotating on its axis, a new "Lion of the Senate" came forth and restored balance to The Universe.
His name?
Al Franken.

Swim Home Brave Sir Lion, Swim Home.
Ask not for who the Mime Bell tolls. It tolls for thee....


User avatar
I was sleeping, and this morning a comrade, sobbing, called and broke the good bad news to me. I don't normally party drink in the morning, but today is a special exception. I opened a fresh bottle of Stoli stolen from Meowsevich's stash, and poured a bit on the ground for our beloved Homey Teddy took a healthy swig. As we (now) say in TexUS,
"Adios, puto!!"


User avatar
I was surfing the web to see how Obama and Pelosi were taking all of this. Good gosh, I hope they're not so upset about it that they might resign or something like that.

User avatar
Burial at sea has been nixed as been previously planned. Last minute changes have The Senahtah being buried at Arlington National Cemetary. In the Tradition of The Eternal Flame on Brother Jack's grave, Teddy has asked for The Eternal Tap to be installed on top of his final resting place, ensuring that a Grateful Nation will have an Eternal Happy Hour.
Bottoms Up!

In other news, stock in Chivas Regal has dropped 78% in trading today.

User avatar
A purge of useless waste was taking place as I was sitting on the people's throne. At precisely the time of death, a rather large elimination occurred. I cried out, "EERRRRAAAHHH!"

A most satisfying feeling, comrades.

User avatar
Dead? Ted's dead? I have stayed up all morning hoping this was just a bad dream... and tossed and turned and walked around the room.

I had not given up hope that, by some miracle, Ted would have escaped from the cancer. I...I am having all kind of scrambled thoughts...grief, fear, doubt, exhaustion, panic, confusion and shock.

Image
Of course I changed the text to fit the entry, but the "emotions" are copied from the statement made by Teddy Boy about what he felt after he (swam, walked???) went back to his hotel room the night he killed Mary Jo. When liberals post condolences to this jerk, I am simply replying "RIP Mary Jo Kopechne." What are they gonna do, charge me with a hate crime?

Image Life in the Senate will never be the same. Guess I should cheer up. we still have Robert Byrd.

User avatar
I first heard this morning when I turned on Faux News. After inconsolably weeping for .0005 seconds, my girlfriend took charge and she knew just how to bring me from the depths of my despair. So... I declared to her that it would be in Comrade Teddy's honor that we would conduct our "liaison de matin". It was a glorious tribute, comrades!

--
ZB

User avatar
Laika the Space Dog wrote: Last minute changes have The Senahtah being buried at Arlington National Cemetary.


Arlington? Where all the military hero's are interred? But comrade Ted never spent a day in the military and he denounced the troops in Iraq, calling them Nazi's.

How will poor Teddy rest in peace surrounded by all those racist occupiers and baby killers?

Image If they give him a 21 gun salute, they should load live ammo and fire into the casket just to make sure the fat bloated turd is really dead. My only fear is that Hell will reject him and his ghost will wander the Earth stealing booze out of people's liquor cabinets.

I can't wait to see the Left turn his funeral into a propaganda spectacle for ObamaCare. Will they be surprised to discover that the average American has no respect or sympathy for the despicably departed dead Ted?

User avatar
Considering he refused to even step down from his seat for the sake of that one vote, I'm rather surprised The Party didn't try harder to keep him alive, even if it meant eventually wheeling him onto the Senate floor in a giant vial of formaldehyde, looking like Robocop or a fully assimilated member of the Borg.

That said, I do think the rules should be changed so his seat can only ever be filled by a Democrat and/or another Kennedy.

User avatar
I and a few Clerics from the Tetragrammaton were kicking in the doors over at PajamasMedia studios and arrest and haul off to the incinerators the Unperson thoughtcriminal Alfonzo Rachel. Today has been a productive day!

Sturmhauptfuhrer of Thoughtkrime Kriminalpolizei (Reichssicherheitshauptamt Division)
Deputy Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight

User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Laika the Space Dog wrote: Last minute changes have The Senahtah being buried at Arlington National Cemetary.


Arlington? Where all the military hero's are interred? But comrade Ted never spent a day in the military and he denounced the troops in Iraq, calling them Nazi's.

How will poor Teddy rest in peace surrounded by all those racist occupiers and baby killers?

Image If they give him a 21 gun salute, they should load live ammo and fire into the casket just to make sure the fat bloated turd is really dead. My only fear is that Hell will reject him and his ghost will wander the Earth stealing booze out of people's liquor cabinets.

I can't wait to see the Left turn his funeral into a propaganda spectacle for ObamaCare. Will they be surprised to discover that the average American has no respect or sympathy for the despicably departed dead Ted?

This is much to ponder, Comrade Whoopie. I don't understand why the members of his family, who themselves have been so dedicated to the implementation of our glorious system, wish for him to be buried with evil military heroes who fought for the rights of our evil kapitalist oppressors.

User avatar
{Progoffovich}

Comrades, just think of the joy his "Eternal Tap" will give to the vets!
Free Beer and they'll get to piss on his grave.

{Progonski}

At ease.
As you were.

User avatar
Image
Verwy Funny, Comrade Laika. Perhaps Teddy wasn't trained in the military to kill our enemies, however, he did just fine in the killing department all by his self.

User avatar
Teddy is voting Democratic now for sure...new title:

Head Necroproxy In Charge

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Considering he refused to even step down from his seat for the sake of that one vote, I'm rather surprised The Party didn't try harder to keep him alive, even if it meant eventually wheeling him onto the Senate floor in a giant vial of formaldehyde, looking like Robocop or a fully assimilated member of the Borg.

That said, I do think the rules should be changed so his seat can only ever be filled by a Democrat and/or another Kennedy.

Image
Actually, I don't know why his being dead should disqualify him from the Senate. Considering some of the past and present stiffs that have represented New Jerkey in the Senate, hygienic issues aside, being alive does not seem to be all that important to the process. Is there anything in the Constitution that explicitly says the deceased can't serve? I know it sounds ridiculous, but considering the stuff that the Kleptocrats have gotten away with in the last few years and the inability/unwillingness of the useful idiot MSM journalistas to call them on any of it, what's to say that they couldn't pull it off????

And, to be perfectly blunt, why does it matter? Gov. Obama-Lite of Massachusetts and the Kleptocrat State Legislature are doing cartwheels trying to find a way to put a Kleptocrat successor in there. The Kleptocrats are hampered by a law preventing the State Governor from appointing a successor, a law Dead Ted himself urged them to pass a few years ago when it looked like French President John Kerry might win the Presidency and they didn't want Mitt Romney appointing a Republican successor. So now they WANT the Kleptocrat governor to be able to appoint another Kleptocrat.... you know the SOBs are going to get their way, they always do. So why not just dispense with all the effing legalisms and put Kennedy's corpse in the seat and fuggedaboutit? It's not like it's going to matter to the citizens of Massachusetts at all, they've been sending his fat ass back there for the last 40+ years anyway. It's not like he could do anything while he was alive to get them to vote him out so why start now?

Anybody that's been paying attention could figure out which way he would vote on any given issue so that's not a problem. I dunno, seems to me this would save a lot of time and effort. Dead Kennedy for Senate!


User avatar
Comrade Opiate of the People,

I see a new Zombie movie coming over the horizon. Is it human or is it a zombie, no it's "Teddy, the Creature of the Poucha Pond."

Zombie Teddy emerges from the water covered in seaweed, with that pasty skin, those ghoulish eyes. Zombie Teddy doesn't have knives coming out of his fingers, he just takes them to Poucha Pond and either sits on them, or holds their heads under water. He likes the sensation of pushing and keeping people under. They may scratch, they may claw, but Teddy keeps them down until they drown.

User avatar
I propose "Che"-vizing Ted:

Image

<br> Image

We find the appropriate iconic image of him--preferably one that shows him with all chins lifted, gazing upward as if he's dreaming about health care--we transform it into a Che-like image as seen above, and sell T-shirts. Oh, and we can start a new website called "Tedspotting."

Proceeds will go to my new charitable foundation in his honor, Caring and Raising Awareness by Pinkie (CRAP), a non-partisan grassroots initiative that promotes raising awareness of the need to care by continued funding for all the important issues that matter, to include climate change, health care reform, ongoing investigations and prosecutions of Bush, Cheney, and all their cronies/supporters, and stopping the spread of disinformation and fear by stupid, ignorant, extreme, racist, anti-reform pro-status quo birther terrorist zealots through use of modern technology and mass media to raise awareness of their blatant racism and stupidity and the need to shut them up without sinking to their level by shouting them down with mean epithets.

CRAP will be powered by Hope and People Like You--so pick up your shovels and dig it!

User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote: Arlington? Where all the military hero's are interred? But comrade Ted never spent a day in the military

Comrades, just to set the record straight, Teddy did in fact spend 2 years in the Army. As such, he is entitled to burial at Arlington. He enlisted during the Korean War but his family pulled strings to have him stationed in Europe and have his enlistment cut short.

I realize that being honest and fair minded is counter to the tenets of Marxism, so I hereby denounce myself. I also apologize if any of you took offense because you're too ignorant to understand whatever it was I meant to say, but didn't.

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I propose "Che"-vizing Ted:

Image

<br>Image

We find the appropriate iconic image of him--preferably one that shows him with all chins lifted, gazing upward as if he's dreaming about health care--we transform it into a Che-like image as seen above, and sell T-shirts. Oh, and we can start a new website called "Tedspotting."

Proceeds will go to my new charitable foundation in his honor, Caring and Raising Awareness by Pinkie (CRAP), a non-partisan grassroots initiative that promotes raising awareness of the need to care by continued funding for all the important issues that matter, to include climate change, health care reform, ongoing investigations and prosecutions of Bush, Cheney, and all their cronies/supporters, and stopping the spread of disinformation and fear by stupid, ignorant, extreme, racist, anti-reform pro-status quo birther terrorist zealots through use of modern technology and mass media to raise awareness of their blatant racism and stupidity and the need to shut them up without sinking to their level by shouting them down with mean epithets.

CRAP will be powered by Hope and People Like You--so pick up your shovels and dig it!

Comrade Pinkie and all other Comrades in general,

I am tired of the Bush trials. After all the Bush administration spent like a dunken sailor, its PR team and he communicated with the proles like a drunken sailor, they refused to reform leftist policy or deal with our national boarders and in general created the climate to elect our Dear Leader. He even attempted to give us more David Souter's until the brown shirted, fascist mob of right wing bastards forced him to bench that cro-magnon John Roberts. In fact Bush will be in attendance at the private service for Sammich Ted paying proper homage to the Aquatic Lion. As we revise history I think we'll find that there hasn't been a better friend to progressives than Comrade Bush.

That said we need to go really hard after Ronald Regan. He is the one to blame for the wasted 12 years of Bushes. After all they blew in on his tailwind. Although it could have been worse. The republicans could have had someone of substance, real conservatives in place for those 12 years. The thought makes me shiver.

User avatar
I don't know where I was or what I was doing the moment he died, I think I was drunk, or on some psychotics.

(off)
Comrade Whoopie wrote: If they give him a 21 gun salute, they shouldload live ammo and fire into the casket just to make sure the fatbloated turd is really dead. My only fear is that Hell will reject himand his ghost will wander the Earth stealing booze out of people'sliquor cabinets.

Stop it! My sides are splitting open! That is a good idea though, hahaha. . .

User avatar
Leninka wrote:Comrade Opiate of the People,

I see a new Zombie movie coming over the horizon. Is it human or is it a zombie, no it's "Teddy, the Creature of the Poucha Pond."

Zombie Teddy emerges from the water covered in seaweed, with that pasty skin, those ghoulish eyes. Zombie Teddy doesn't have knives coming out of his fingers, he just takes them to Poucha Pond and either sits on them, or holds their heads under water.


Or Zombie Teddy could just drive them down to the pond in his Olds....

User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote: If they give him a 21 gun salute, they should load live ammo and fire into the casket just to make sure the fat bloated turd is really dead.


I dunno, live ammo and near all those eternal flames, his alcohol-soaked body giving off flammable vapors, the resulting explosion could flatten a huge area, including Congress, the White House and....

Err, Yes, I think this would be a VERY fitting tribute! Well done, Whoopie!

He deserves to be buried in Arlington Cemetary

After all, he gave his liver for his country!!

User avatar
ABC News wants to know What Do the Kennedys Mean to You?

I don't think they are getting the answers they were looking for.

User avatar
Teddy's death is proving to be extra special and bittersweet for me. I was too young to remember the assassinations of his brothers, and always felt so left out of conversations when people started talking about where they were when Kennedy was shot.

Comrades, until this week, I had no idea what it was like to experience a whole nation--indeed, the whole world--come together in collective sorrow, something that only happens with the passing of a son of Joe and Rose Kennedy. I no longer feel like such a freak. At long last, I feel as if I truly belong! As if I'm . . . one of the collective.

This is a Progressive milestone for me, along with my first abortion, my first protest, my first pepper spray in my eyes, my first arrest, and my first government check. I feel so . . . complete.

*sniff*

Oh, Teddy, Teddy! What will we do without you? How can we even hope to go on without you? How can we ever hope to pass this all important health care legislation that we need so much--not so much for the people, but . . . but for you, Teddy?

*sob*

Oh, everyone please excuse me while I blow my nose into my red headscarf . . . WAAHHH!

*sshplonhk!*

User avatar
Superkommissar Maksim wrote:ABC News wants to know What Do the Kennedys Mean to You?

I don't think they are getting the answers they were looking for.
What makes you say that ;)?

User avatar
Superkommissar Maksim wrote:What Do the Kennedys Mean to You?

Image
That the need for Congressional term limits is more desperate than ever.

User avatar
Superkommissar Maksim wrote:What Do the Kennedys Mean to You?

Image
That the American system of government makes it possible for even a white trash Hitler supporting fascist Irish bootlegger to market his own son into the presidency to be worshiped and idolized by millions.

User avatar
I was too young to remember the assassinations of his brothers, and always felt so left out of conversations when people started talking about where they were when Kennedy was shot.

JFK was assassinated on my first birthday. My earliest memory, and I'm not kidding, was watching Jack Ruby gun down Lee Harvey Oswald. I think it stuck so vividly in my memory because of the shock exhibited by the grown ups in the room as they watched the news on TV.

I took a quick look at the ABC website. Not a single comment even vaguely complimentary of Teddy.

User avatar
Opiate of the People wrote: Dead Kennedy for Senate!

Which one? This one...


User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:
I was too young to remember the assassinations of his brothers, and always felt so left out of conversations when people started talking about where they were when Kennedy was shot.

JFK was assassinated on my first birthday. My earliest memory, and I'm not kidding, was watching Jack Ruby gun down Lee Harvey Oswald. I think it stuck so vividly in my memory because of the shock exhibited by the grown ups in the room as they watched the news on TV.

I took a quick look at the ABC website. Not a single comment even vaguely complimentary of Teddy.

There were about three that were flattering...all written by some indignant lib named Pauline. She was carrying that torch like a brave little lib soldier.

I couldn't resist posting myself...though i did leave little pauline alone.

User avatar
Superkommissar Maksim wrote:ABC News wants to know What Do the Kennedys Mean to You?

Immm... Eye dunno... this....


User avatar
Hardy Har Har!!!!! Ted would have LOVED all this fun. Surely he visited The Cube once in a while for some Chappaquiddick humor and to liven things up in his final days.

New York Times Magazine's Ed Klein: "I don't know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, “have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?” That is just the most amazing thing. It's not that he didn't feel remorse about the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, but that he still always saw the other side of everything and the ridiculous side of things, too."


Audio here:
"Have You Heard Any New Jokes About Chappaquiddick?"

Comrade RR, how appropriate. And, I just listened to DKs last night..."Police Truck" always makes me happy when I'm feeling down. Maybe Teddy liked that little play on the band's name too. Funny!! Ted had such a wit about him.

User avatar
Oh...and here's a few yucks in honor of the "Lyin'" at Ace of Spades. One liners, just like the good ole days.

http://minx.cc/?post=291492

User avatar
Red Rooster wrote:
Opiate of the People wrote: Dead Kennedy for Senate!

Which one? This one...
I was just thinking of the "Dead Kennedys" as I came onto this page. You beat me to the punch RR.

User avatar
I have actually seen Comrade Ted after he passed away. I was relaxing in my taxpayer-funded living room, drinking vodka and reading the Daily Kos. In my hand I had a premium Black Sea spliff sent to me by one of my old NKVD comrades. Several miracles of modern chemistry were coursing through my veins. This was a good evening. Then I noticed something to my left. I turned my head (which seemed to take a lot of time) and saw that the living room wall had fallen off and there was some strange person standing just 20 feet away or so. He (or she) turned to me and smiled. It was the Empress! Horrible Medusa-like face, cloven hooves, fangs and a forked tail. Yes, it was her!

'My Empress!' I shouted!

'I'm not your Empress' the hoofed one said with considerable amusement. 'You have been experimenting again, haven't you Vodkov?'

'Uhhh I suppose so my Empr..ehh.' I was a bit confused. I had never met this gentleman before.

'Dear Vodkov, I'm Satan. The Fallen One, Lord of the Flies, The Prince of Darkness!'

I tried to focus on the Dark One but all the chemicals were causing problems. There appeared to be two of them. I felt I had to clear my head so I snorted a monster line of blow from the unconscious Commissarka Pinkie's inner thigh. Then I turned to the Dark Lord again and asked: 'Why have you come to visit a humble Kommissar? Have I not sent you enough proles and traitors?'

The dark one laughed. 'No Vodkov, I have come to give you a present. I present to you the Number One useful idiot in the world!'

He then swung a giant skillet in front of him which he seemingly conjured out of thin air. In it comrade Teddy was jumping about like popcorn, frying in his own grease. Then the Dark Prince disappeared and was replaced with my living room wall. I stood up and started to laugh uncontrollably. I don't know why. This happened right after Teddy left the planet because I reloaded the Kos while still laughing and saw the news.

User avatar
It ain't for nothing we call him the "criminally insane" Vodkov, folks.

User avatar
My fellow comrades:

Vodkov's hallucinations (no doubt induced by his prolonged stay in the sensory deprivation chamber, aka the Impeach for Peace membership forum), only prove what I have suspected all along: That Teddy's tragic, untimely death is the fault of none other than George W. Bush, and that Bush--represented by "Satan" in Vodkov's trip--has stolen (like he has everything else) Teddy's soul.

Oh, and by the way, Vodkov, that was NOT my inner thigh, but the steel handle of my shovel. One is often confused with the other as both are used to crush comrades' skulls. Don't believe me, just ask Betinov.

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Oh, and by the way, Vodkov, that was NOT my inner thigh, but the steel handle of my shovel. One is often confused with the other as both are used to crush comrades' skulls.

Ahhh so you admit you were there in my living room Commissarka? Now we're getting somewhere!


User avatar
Death brings on the strangest circumstances.

User avatar
One is often confused with the other as both are used to crush comrades' skulls. Don't believe me, just ask Betinov.

Not only have I absolutely no memory of the event, I wish it would happen more often.

User avatar
The real truth about Teddy's death.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/8NWtBhSp74I&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

User avatar
Of course, the above video makes perfect sense.

It wasn't the years of boozing, the guilt that finally created a cancer in his brain for having killed Mary Jo, no, it wasn't that famous wanton, gluttonous Kennedy lifestyle.


Image
Have you noticed how much Dear Leader points his finger during testy press conferences? Well, the finger is a little curved, and he doesn't extend the arm out too far, but he uses the gesture to punctuate his phrases. I haven't found a good video yet of it on YouTube, but surely, one will turn up.


 
POST REPLY