Image
Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

Dodgeball-the game

User avatar
My fellow comrades,

How many of you have heard of the game "dodgeball"? It's some competition game in red-fly-over-avoid-at-all-cost Amerika. There are many variations of it, but basicly, the strongest, most fit players brutally toss these big red rubber balls at the "weaker" players.

dodgeball-fran.jpg

If you get hit, you are not allowed to play in the game until a fellow comrade catches a ball. My fellow comrades, this is a game we must outlaw. It displays the gross injustice that is competition, and Social Darwinism. Now, many of our Progressive skools have either stopped doing this (if they were originally ruled by a RethugliKKKan) or have done the right thing by making the game and word a taboo, however, in fly-over red states, this barbaric practice is still occuring.

Please Join me in outlawing this horrific sport.

(Karakter off)

Just try searching "Dodgeball" or "Dodgeball in the news" or something along those lines and I dare you to come back and say "I searched the farthest corners of the web and I can't find an article on outlawing dodgeball."

img5754b3405ix.jpg

wimp.png

289507002_1887c52dd3.jpg

Comrades, Dodgeball is without a doubt an invention of the capitalist to weed out he unwanted peoples. I agree, it should be banned, or at least turned into nothing more than a game of "toss", where no one is eliminated. The peoples feelings should not be hurt.

I would rather see them play a game of Red Rover without holding hands.

User avatar
Minister Andropov wrote:Comrades, Dodgeball is without a doubt an invention of the capitalist to weed out he unwanted peoples. I agree, it should be banned, or at least turned into nothing more than a game of "toss", where no one is eliminated. The peoples feelings should not be hurt.

I would rather see them play a game of Red Rover without holding hands.
Or how about basketball, where it's more "toss" than "basket". Soccer (Fútbol por nuestros amigos del sur.) where it's "pass" and volleyball without the ball.


User avatar
Premier Betty wrote:I like that game!
How can you call yourself a Progressive if you let social darwinism win?

(Karakter off)

Me too.

Comrades,
Might I suggest playing the game of "cup stacking". We could level the playing field significantly by limiting the players to one cup only. This would eliminate the need for the harsh term of "loser" and everyone participating could earn an equal point in good citizenship!

In the likeness of that capitalist movie,

"If you can dodge a T-72 tank shell, you can dodge a ball."

and in the words of that capitalist lackey Patches O'Houlihan:

"Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation."

Comrades, we must ban this terrible sport, or at least play against Gulag prisoners, who get no balls. Fair for all, n'yet?

User avatar
Che Vrolet said "Comrades, we must ban this terrible sport, or at least play against Gulag prisoners, who get no balls. Fair for all, n'yet?"

Why not against the rethugliKKKans, or at least G. W. Bush? I know Gulag prisoners are filled with people opposed to The Party, but let's have some fun with those OUTside of them.

Comrade, you're on top of things, as usual. These rethuglicans, who have been trying to oust us since the 50's, are really catching onto us. We must be vigilant! What would Lenin do? or Stalin? GOBAMA! Ha ha ha, n'yet.

User avatar
Che Vrolet wrote:Comrade, you're on top of things, as usual. These rethuglicans, who have been trying to oust us since the 50's, are really catching onto us. We must be vigilant! What would Lenin do? or Stalin? GOBAMA! Ha ha ha, n'yet.
Hmm. . . What would Stalin do? I don't know, I wasn't alive during his glorious reign. I'd guess though he'd step up his round ups.

User avatar
Comrade_Elliott wrote:
Che Vrolet wrote:Comrade, you're on top of things, as usual. These rethuglicans, who have been trying to oust us since the 50's, are really catching onto us. We must be vigilant! What would Lenin do? or Stalin? GOBAMA! Ha ha ha, n'yet.
Hmm. . . What would Stalin do? I don't know, I wasn't alive during his glorious reign. I'd guess though he'd step up his round ups.
Hey Che!
Why don't we ask a fellow Inner Party Comrade? They have the answer.

User avatar
Just think of the poor children forced to play this game! I have seen children with bruises from the impact, i have seen children with scrapes from being knocked down, I have seen them with ball-shaped dents in their foreheads... I have seen them with no arms!!! All because of this... "sport." We must impose re-education penalties for all who partake in such a game!

User avatar
What about a trip to the gulag for the older comrades, comrade My Name is Top Secret?

WTF
You people have to much time on your hands and you should stop trying to destroy a game with values. Children need competition because without it children go into the world without accurate sense of reality

User avatar
Not to worry, WTF. Obama is not only remaking America . . . he's remaking reality, too.

Now run along and don't bother me while I'm waiting for my Pollution Reduction Refund check from the government.

User avatar
WTF wrote:You people have to much time on your hands and you should stop trying to destroy a game with values. Children need competition because without it children go into the world without accurate sense of reality

I denounce WTF! Who will join me in convening the Show Trial?

User avatar
How dare WTF even insinuate that GREAT party heroes such as Marshall Pupovich has HANDS! This is an outrage! Where is the link to ACLU? Where is Pup's Lawyer!

This really makes my hair stand up, my back arch up, and hiss! DENOUNCSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE!



(Calm down, groom little kitty, groom....ahhhhh)

User avatar
I thought we had a filter to keep such proles from our glorious articles.

User avatar
Sometimes the proles get through it seems. But they are so entertaining. Especially when you line them up against a wall riddled with bullet holes. Then the firing squad takes aim, and they usually wet themselves, and start screaming what a loyal party member they are, how they voted for Obama. 6 times even! Even offer to show their ACORN membership card. Then you fire off a round of blanks and they collapse. After that you get to laugh, take them back to their cell, and start calling around to Gulags to find one with an opening. Then it's off to the nearest railway platform with warm clothing, and a shovel.

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Sometimes the proles get through it seems. But they are so entertaining. Especially when you line them up against a wall riddled with bullet holes. Then the firing squad takes aim, and they usually wet themselves, and start screaming what a loyal party member they are, how they voted for Obama. 6 times even! Even offer to show their ACORN membership card. Then you fire off a round of blanks and they collapse. After that you get to laugh, take them back to their cell, and start calling around to Gulags to find one with an opening. Then it's off to the nearest railway platform with warm clothing, and a shovel.
And the big comfy rooms for us :).


 
POST REPLY