Pre-approved posters and slogans to decorate your office cube and use for spontaneous demonstrations. To display our image on your web page, please save it to your server and don't forget to link it to us! 2009 Update:More posters for protest and visual agitation are here...
There can be no humor in one's political rhetoric, and that is precisely why the right wing is so despicable in its employment of charm and wit to lull the people into a state of counterevolution. The supremecy of the state is not something to be cheapened by laughter, comrade.
Starting at Year Zero, there will be no laughter, no tears, no familial love, and no grief. Such emotion is counterproductive to the aims of socialism. Service to the glorious state is all that will matter, Comrade Garbage, and that will be enough to sustain the workers on our massive collective farms, factories, and gulags.
Yes!
And we will have comrade Chavez sleeping in the white house (like comrade Arafat used to) as soon as we can get Queen Hillary to her thone!
Such glorious times they will be!
No more worrying about what to do with our money or having to choose which stores to buy from!
No more arrogant rich people thinking they deserve to be so just because they worked for it!
No more evil Christians telling us we cant kill our own kids - and only properly atheist "Jews" among us - you know, the ones that understand our Syrian and Egyptian comrades are only fighting the horror of all horrors: Zionism! *shudder*
Comrade Moore, as information minister, will ensure that our media is pure and untainted by the bourgeoise.
Comrade Sharpton, as Ethnic Justice Minister, will ensure that the wicked false, non-marxist blacks (conservatives) are swiftly punished - as well as any whites that refuse to accept their guilt!
And of course, Comrade Boxer, as Culture Minister, will ensure that oppressed child-lovers are free to pursue their objects of affection, and that the world is safe for sodomy.
We must fight on!
Votes are not needed to know what is right!
Just as soon as we do away with that absurd 2nd amendment (The gall of these people to think they have a right to be armed! They ought to be shot!), we can end the injustice of majority rule and put the future of the country in the hands of a few good socialists.
We dont need all those choices at the polls.
The proletariat just gets confused having more than 1 party anyway.
It's nice to see big government bureaucracy is alive and well. I want the same people who runs crappy 2nd rate public schools, the post office, child support, and financial aid in charge of my retirement and healthcare. That's the only way things can really work out. We need more government, keep it large and bloated, that's the only way to keep loopholes big enough for the fed to get around things. We also need non specific constitution so people like Komrade Ginsburg can continue to protect us from ourselves and make sure the rest of us komrades don't have enough power, and that most power is given to the federal government, because we can't be trusted to take care of ourselves, we need the nice fed to take care of us and tell us what's good for us.
haha this is so hilarious guys... it's really quite funny how a majority of the left wingers think this and communistsforkerry.com are actually serious... hehe those left wingers, they so cray-zeh!
We are not "crazy", crazy is tax-cuts and doing away with free government handouts, thats crazy. Crazy is doing away with large social programs which we benefit off of. Crazy is wanting a smaller government without all the red-tape, now that is crazy. Imagine how many useless government employees would be out of work and on the streets and not there to misplace papers and tie up government functions to serve the common man.
Now Comrade Liberty, who is crazy? Us or them? Those who wish to make us work for a living, or our mighty leader Comrade Hillary who will ensure that we have suffered enough and the government will provide us electronic debit food stamps so the next time I go into Wal-Mart I will not be embarassed that I take advantage of capitalist tax payer dollars THAT I DESERVE because I have suffered far enough getting up in the morning and doing a little bit of work. This is not hilarious Comrade Liberty, this is a war between the productive and the unproductive, and we as the unproductive DEMAND that we are given government handouts in order to buy the things that capitalist workaholics get to enjoy.
I demand the Party investigate your mental status and ships you to Academia for proper progressive re-education and indoctrination. FOR THE GLORY OF THE PROGRESSIVE REVOLUTION AND JIMMY CARTER! LIBERATOR OF THE PEANUT FARMERS OF THE WORLD!!!
It's funny how those who've no intellectual arguments to support their emotional ejaculations so soon resort to the lowest form of debate: name calling.
With these gas prices, I got smart. I'm driving the new Patrick Kennedy Hybrid car... It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol.
If hew see My Pik-sure Vith cube at top ov page I am knot con-fuzed!!!I Do Knot se Hu-mor Agan-st Mo-ther Russia...Iz John Kerri veri Fameous Var Here-Oh ??
is interesting to see that the disciples of Goebbels are now using the sense of humor. and is even more interesting to see that they change the "gott mit uns" for
ONE NATION UNDER GOD AND the WORLD UNDER US.
just kidding gentlemen , i believe blindly everything the media of this free country says, i am super conservative , yes and my group has a lot of interesting ideas. let's try to reinstall the status quo of our grandfathers , remember gentlemen slaverhood is a divine institution, womens are no mentally fitted to vote . conservatives is not too late to revert those lost battles.
is interesting to see that the disciples of Goebbels are now using the sense of humor.
Excellent point, comrade Untermensch (if that is your real self-image). Comparing right-wingers to Hitler, Goebbels, and other Partei Genossen hasn't been frequent enough lately, we need this repeated MORE often! Please refer to the Party Manual and the People's Glossary:
Short definition:
Hitler = a conservative winning an argument with a liberal.
Long definition:
Hitler = important ideological weapon helping us win just about any argument with right-wingers. As such he must be viewed as pure evil at all times. This, of course, creates a philosophical paradox: it is common knowledge that morality is relative and there is no such thing as absolute good and evil. The answer is that Hitler is a necessary exception. If he didn't exist he'd have to be invented. What makes him so evil? It doesn't matter. He's evil, period. You needn't know unless you are an advanced student of the progressive theory. If you are, then you must know that Hitler was also building socialism, only it was for Arians only (National Socialism), in which minorities would slave for the White man. We the progressives want quite the opposite. Hitler's idea of uncompensated labor for The Greater Good™ (labor camps) was very different from our idea of uncompensated labor for The Greater Good™ (labor camps). That's where it gets tricky and any further discussions should only be allowed to Party-approved professors of progressive science.
Where's the picture of Zarqawi titled "El Comandante Abu," posed as comrade Che? The picture instilled determination for continuing jihad in the days following the announcement of his heroic death by the imperialists. I am sure that millions of rich, spoiled college students without a clue who he is are waiting for a full size picture to post in their dorms.
Brilliant. Those evil capitalists will never survive the relentless re-education campaign of the People's Cube.
Extra vodka rations for all!
Why give extra vodka comrade? Instead we can simply reduce the food ration and achieve the same result with the subsequent drinking on an empty stomach?
Your lack of efficiency equates to capitalist sabotage in my book...
Why give extra vodka comrade? Instead we can simply reduce the food ration and achieve the same result with the subsequent drinking on an empty stomach?
Your lack of efficiency equates to capitalist sabotage in my book...
I am humbled by your equality Comrade Commissar. How could I have ever been so foolish as to be blinded by capitalist consumerist propaganda? This concept of 'incentive' and 'reward' is a ridiculous borgeois archaism. Rather, having the opportunity to live in a Marxist-Leninist socialist utopia should be the compensation for working for The Common Good ™.
Where's the picture of Zarqawi titled "El Comandante Abu," posed as comrade Che? The picture instilled determination for continuing jihad in the days following the announcement of his heroic death by the imperialists. I am sure that millions of rich, spoiled college students without a clue who he is are waiting for a full size picture to post in their dorms.
A comrade from the glorious state of Alabama had one of our pictures turned into a vinyl sign for his truck and sent us this photo. Everybody is encouraged to do the same. The actual images may vary.
(He who guesses the make and model of this vehicle will get an extra piece of dry bread and a raw egg for breakfast).
I noticed a poster of Support for Ethiopia. Comrades, I would support Ethiopia's war on Islam if it was as successful as its war on Christians. I mean, DUDE! They pack their Christians in metal shipping containers and leave them to distill in the fiery blast of their desolate wastelands. How kewl is that? The Ethiopians are not boxing up an equal number of the mujahedin. Not fair.
Can you give us a link? Ethiopia was one of the first Christian countries. It's true that it had a pro-Soviet socialist dictatorship, but I never heard of their persecution of Christians before. Packing people in metal shipping containers and leaving them under the sun used to be the trademark of the Taliban in Afghanistan.
Comrade Red Square Pants: Here is the link, but as luck would have it, it turns out that our glorious Marxist Paradise with Beaches, otherwise known as Eritrea has found new and innovative ways for storing those pesky Christians in metal shipping containers. The Ethiopes have their hands full at this time with the Muslim Scourge, so officially, the government there is somewhat hands off, and have delegated the persecution of the Opiate Mass Distributors to the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. The Jehovas are Witnessing too much, me thinks.
I was searching for an avatar on the internets and happened upon this glorious example of printed truth!
I was thinking it is crying to have a depiction of Comrade Pelosi, Comrade Reid, and the glorious Obamessiah in all his glowiness! But nevermind me comrades, have fun with it!
Edit: I got an email from the webmasters asking me to move my poster over to a different forum, as a way to save bandwidth. Being a respectful and obedient comrade concerned only for the common welfare, I have of course complied. Here's the link to my posters now: http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?p=56882#56882.
Here's a glorious sticker from those infamous Capitalist Artists of Wacky packages:
I'd call myself some funny Red name, but where I live, Portugal, I was a kid on a family said to be on a death list, on a historically recent (1975) attempt to get it Sovietized...
Oddly enough, Henry Kissinger wanted us to go red, so as to serve as a warning to all the other half-harted NATO Europeans... Ain't life grand?
In the end, those Reactionary Officers still not brainwashed, pardon, indoctrinated, and good ol' NATO got us offa that jam.
Is there any change between that and the Official €uropean Media of today?
Makes me itching to put here a certain 3D image of mine, it depicts a blue potty with 12 yellow stars, filled with... Let's call it Political Correctness...
A bit gross, but then again, I LIVE HERE! Surrounded by America-dissing, Terrorist tolerant, Islamo-Fascist fearing sheep... Yuck!
And that's where your Glorious Leader, the Hero Of Change, will get you Comrades into, just wait a while!
Americans will learn the civilized, submissive ways of the glorious Fortress Europa's State Vassals, and America will go all wussy and French, now isn't that a Grand Design of him? Hail and praise The One!
Is there any change between that and the Official €uropean Media of today?
Makes me itching to put here a certain 3D image of mine, it depicts a blue potty with 12 yellow stars, filled with... Let's call it Political Correctness...
A bit gross, but then again, I LIVE HERE! Surrounded by America-dissing, Terrorist tolerant, Islamo-Fascist fearing sheep... Yuck!
And that's where your Glorious Leader, the Hero Of Change, will get you Comrades into, just wait a while!
Americans will learn the civilized, submissive ways of the glorious Fortress Europa's State Vassals, and America will go all wussy and French, now isn't that a Grand Design of him? Hail and praise The One!
Comrade, your modified smiley at the end helps, but I'd encourage you to utilize The Cone of Silence just to make sure you're protected from being labled a Thought Criminal. As a temporary resident of The People's State of Deutschland, I have fallen in love with the rampant Progressivism, government control, and Sheeplike tendencies of the populace! All US Statesmen should live here a while to get the proper inspiration for their policies.
Yours in CHope,
Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
Is there any change between that and the Official €uropean Media of today?
Makes me itching to put here a certain 3D image of mine, it depicts a blue potty with 12 yellow stars, filled with... Let's call it Political Correctness...
A bit gross, but then again, I LIVE HERE! Surrounded by America-dissing, Terrorist tolerant, Islamo-Fascist fearing sheep... Yuck!
And that's where your Glorious Leader, the Hero Of Change, will get you Comrades into, just wait a while!
Americans will learn the civilized, submissive ways of the glorious Fortress Europa's State Vassals, and America will go all wussy and French, now isn't that a Grand Design of him? Hail and praise The One!
Comrade, your modified smiley at the end helps, but I'd encourage you to utilize The Cone of Silence just to make sure you're protected from being labled a Thought Criminal. As a temporary resident of The People's State of Deutschland, I have fallen in love with the rampant Progressivism, government control, and Sheeplike tendencies of the populace! All US Statesmen should live here a while to get the proper inspiration for their policies.
Yours in CHope,
Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
We are indeed equal. Just don't forget that some are more equal than others. Just look what has happened to some such comrades in the "Denounce a comrade month" thread.
Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich, being always interested in denouncing those decadent Capitalist gizmos, I wonder where in this glorious Cube can be bureaucratically filled away news about these articles, found on that monument to Liberals, stupid.com:
An Obama "Yes, We CAN"opener:
For Eco-Nazi Vegan Tree huggers, this incredible article:
A Fetus cookie cutter, for devout Liberal Feminists:
And finally, for glorious Nazi-Bolshevik Frau Hitlery und her BlowBill Dummy, an action figure, the Hillary Nut Cracker:
For the Common Good, as set by Comrade Soros, and other Illuminati Proletariat Heros of the Letf, edgarinventor
An equal contribution indeed. As Red said, The People's Blog is indeed the place. Proles can create new topics within The People's Blog when their contributions do not fit in the existing categories. You can access it through the tab on the top, or through Groupthink. The advantage of Groupthink is that you can see, through the use of Red Cubes and other icons, the posts you have not read since your last visit.
You are encouraged (and by encouraged I mean directed) to spend the next 36 hours (at least) in a wakeful frenzy of Cube archive reading. You'll learn to love Big Brother, as well as The Obamessiah.
Yes, Comrade Commissar, but mark my words, I won't be a prole for long:
I can see a bright future for me, in the shape of the official methods for Proletariat Promotion, I.E. by ratting some trusting Comrade out, or the usual .45 shot in the forehead of some well-chosen Party Member fallen in disgrace.
Comrade Soros comes to mind, but his time has not come YET, and I don't like to stand in line behind all the others, for other things than the daily bread line.
For the Common Good,
as set by Comrade Soros, and other Illuminati Proletariat Heroes (for now) of the Left,
edgarinventor
Pride commeth before a fall into a self-dug shallow grave at an ACORN Necro-Proxy Recruitment Station. Focus on beets. Perfect your shovel-handling before planning your ascension. Have you been practicing your daily devotional?
Reminds me of my experience with the Glorious Zeropean Social Democrat Schooling System!
Bear in mind, Comrade, that I'm more equal in experience than the average Prole -
Having suffered benefited from decades of Civilized Social Democracy, here in Zerope, not only do I know first-hand
about the Social Darwinism of our Beloved Social Medical Marvel,
all the endless loops and jumps you have to perform to be allowed to start a small business,
and all the mind-numbing drivel the Glorious Media Bastards shove down the throat of the brainwashed Servants of The State!
I've been trough all you Comrades will suffer be privileged to experience with Obamadamama, and that's what makes me an Embassador From The Future, a great, newly made, self-apointed title, that will guide you trough all the steps leading down to a complete de-evoluted citizen.
Curios back from the future:
(Our past, your Future)
An anti-NATO poster, keep this one for when NATO expedition forces will try to stamp out the remnants of your Second Civil War Glorious Revolution gone bad!
A two-in -one, Leader's Cult andgun re-distribution, Civil Nacional Guard, as your own Obama calls it
WORKERS of the NEW Banking System, New New Deal, in your Glorious neo-commie jargon, they open the Bank to the People!
Oh Comrade Edgar... Nobody is ignoring you. Even though it's below a Big Mighty "real" Commissar like myself to explain Party actions to a prole, I will. It's important to encourage new work and digging. You see Comrade, there is a huge wealth of information posted on the Cube every day, and commenting intelligently/staying current on the news behind the posts takes a lot of time. Not every post receives a response and the threads fall into disuse until they are of need to The Party again. Nobody means any offense by it.
However, as a present occupant of Europe, I would enjoy your jokes... Just try not to take anything personally.
THOUGHT CRIME! Report who sent that to you, turn the machine it was created with over to me, and gimmie your toaster. MAYBE I'll let you out of my Gulags after 40 years. Platform 6 sounds good to me... Hauptbahnhof NOW! Post!
Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products.
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
This conveyance is BEAUTIFUL and reflects the raw, mean computing power of Windows Vista. I think it may even be able to be powered by the smugness of the rider...
Is that crap for real?? I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the Progressive Cavalry! Ride your Segway into battle!! Can you imagine a SWAT storming a building with that crap? If I faced them in battle I'd just have to chuckle.
This conveyance is BEAUTIFUL and reflects the raw, mean computingpower of Windows Vista. I think it may even be able to be powered bythe smugness of the rider...
Now we need such coverage of the Great Works of Glorious Liberal President Obama!
Da.
Fearless Leader has overturned The Bush stem cell restrictions. Now TheOne will be able to continue with The Plan. In the manner of Dolly the sheep, HE will now be able to clone vast masses of sheeple, and with selective genetics HE can correct the flaws of evolution like logic and independant thought. No more will he need undoccumented aleins and dead people for electing him.
Was wise to earmark billions of dollars to Planned Parenthood in stimulus package.
Is that really necessary, anymore, Comrade NilHil?
Comrade George Soros got the populace hooked on his daily dosage of Bullshit, why create sheep, if there's plenty of these all over the world?
Why not clone Hemp oil and Vodka-producing still stem cells to implant on Liberal's and Socialist's brains (sort of...), there's SO MUCH FREE SPACE THERE!
Is that really necessary, anymore, Comrade NilHil?
Comrade George Soros got the populace hooked on his daily dosage of Bullshit, why create sheep, if there's plenty of these all over the world?
Will be easier to replace populace lost through "independent thought" purges if backup sheeple are at hand. TheOne can never have too many sheeple. Why squander resources on N.E.A. and State Approved Media when Obamazombies can be grown pre-programmed for the greater good?
Well, if the Inbred Mad Dog Bankers Illuminati want an 80% Populace reduction, and they are in control, that leaves 20% sheep. Not many sheep to clone, right?
The Media Carbon/Recession Hysteria is at such full throttle, now, the vast TV-Zombie majority will gladly march to the concentration FEMA camps, not noticing the Barbecue smell in the air.
All for the Party's Planet's good...
Changing the subject, as it's no good being a Mad Inventor, if you don't enjoy it, here's a magnet to use on our Comrade Liberals, for some pranks, as they seem always so darn Serious... Until they catch glimpse of someone else's money, that is.
Here, a 12 mm side square magnet holds a Sledge Hammer to a steel I bar, because it has... 62 Kilos of force!
Mwahahahahaha!
Without the Assault Weapons Ban, Militia guys could rely on themselves, and be mostly survivalist one-man-bands;
With it, they will have to rely on the greater firepower of A GROUP of them, and so learn some Social Skills, engage the Community, convince a large number of neighbors, etc.
In the end, they will IMPROVE American People's self-defense abilities, because 5 to 10 guys with a non-assault rifle are harder to take out, and spread all over, have a much larger field coverage!
Bottom line is, out of Hollywood La La Land, a patrol of 5 out-performs any trigger-happy Rambo every time... because one can always spot what the others cannot!
But with left, machine gun does not mean full auto. Machine gun can be scary looking imported ex-full-auto weapon rebuilt semi-auto that it has more then 10 non-US made scary parts on it. Even though not full-auto, the left classify as Title 2 weapon and if not holding License To Exercise Second Amendment Right, jackboots assign gulag time and confiscate rights.
All this can be found under the 922R infringement mandated by G. Bush Senior.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties
Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats
Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes
Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!
Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'
Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists
Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom
Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled
Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long
Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back
of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!
Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off
Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw Gotham villains working for the Common Good™
White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union LabelNational-socialist health care?
Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit
Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
SPONSORED BY:
Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional
Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy
Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities
Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list
Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind visit our new Che Heart store
Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!
Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden
Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'
DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberryDow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents useDHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"
Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a 2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism Obama gives Queen a shovel click here NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'
click here for the story Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans' After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes" Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it
Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing
Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush' Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.' More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20 Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK. Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers Somali pirates hijack international space station Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!" Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers" CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide
Seven Obama cousins found living in voting boothUS choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check! Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word
FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan' Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you' Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail' Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crashDead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN Biden calls taxes patriotic Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter" Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine" Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so." Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it. Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb? Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint
Word of the day: HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to HusseinObama: we have always been at peace with Hillary ClintonGrand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans? CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problemHillary supporters organize against Obama Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
buy a T-shirt
Here, a 12 mm side square magnet holds a Sledge Hammer to a steel I bar, because it has... 62 Kilos of force!
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
buy this sticker
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
