In an effort to repair the damage inflicted by George W. Bush's presidency, Barack Obama extended a gesture of goodwill and understanding to the victimized community of man-made disaster operators by promising them Miranda rights, wishing them luck in future undertakings, and advising them to abstain from earning money in the private sector.
Apologizing for the fact that the existing Miranda warning is unfairly slanted towards US citizens, Obama unveiled an improved international Miranda version, drafted by a team of ACLU experts.
~
The audiences warmly welcomed the new text, which is currently being translated into a number of world languages:
You have the right to remain silent or, if you want, shout Allahu Akbar in a maniacal voice. Anything you say will be used against the United States by left-wing radical groups and the mainstream media. You have the right to use an ACLU attorney in bringing a frivolous lawsuit against the American government. If you cannot afford an attorney, the American taxpayers whom you haven't yet killed, will pay for one. If you do not understand these rights, you will be given a chance to sue us later for your failure to do so.
Khalid Sheikh Mohammad looks very disappointed that no one has ever read him the improved international Miranda version: "I mean, why couldn't they capture me after Barack Obama became president?"
Members of the US military and the intelligence community will be obligated to memorize this text in multiple phonetic versions specific to various Middle Eastern dialects.
When 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammad was captured on March 1, 2003, all he said was, "I'll talk to you guys after I get to New York and see my lawyer." Then he was waterboarded and started talking in longer run-on declarative and exclamatory sentences, containing proper nouns, verbs, and adjectives, as well as dependent and independent clauses, which span into paragraphs and even chapters, revealing an intricate plot with interesting characters and multiple engaging subplots. He did not get a lawyer until after the interrogators finished binding the resulting volume.
It was an atrocity, for which the new US president Barack Obama has repeatedly apologized. The imposition of new rules will make sure this never happens again.
As I have pointed out in the past, many, many times, Americans are arrogant and they have (When I say "they" I mean the non-hyphenated Americans) made horrible mistakes. One horrible mistake was the unforgivable actions of the passengers on Flight 93 in which no matter how many times I tell the Islamic world that we (when I say "we" I mean the radical leftist appeasement cabal in which I'm a charter member) are sorry, I can understand why Islam will never forgive us; Todd Beamer and all the other arrogant Americans forgot to give the backup flight crew their Miranda Rights before they yelled "Let's Roll". I am truly disgusted and ashamed of their behavior and I hope this tribute to Islam will help sooth world tensions in which America is to blame.
Oh...yes. Thank you Teleprompter, I almost forgot.
America is to blame and so is George W. Bush.
Let us remember that our prog minions apologize, bash Amerika, and whine about triviol slights (perceived or real) because we, the elite, have told them that they are "morally superior" given how compassionate they are. It is a good thing that this country is blessed with an abundance of useful idiots enlightened proles such as these. It makes the conquest that much more easier!
"You have the right to remain silent or, if you want, shout Allahu Akbar in a maniacal voice. Anything you say will be used against the United States by left-wing radical groups and the mainstream media. You have the right to use an ACLU attorney in bringing a frivolous lawsuit against the American government. If you cannot afford an attorney, the American taxpayers whom you haven't yet killed, will pay for one. If you do not understand these rights, you will be given a chance to sue us later for your failure to do so."
As progressive as these new Miranda rights are, I think that they need to be updated so that they contain at least something about how we acknowledge that Islam is an excellent religion and a religion of peace, so that they will be more inclusive feeling.
I'm thinking, why stop as Islam? Aren't there still headhunting cannibals in New Guinea? It would be bigoted to single them out. Now I know they don't have the grasp of running jets into skyscrapers, but should we be ablelist? No, we shouldn't. We should be inclusive for Islam, cannibals, Senteria, and secular religions such as murdering leftist regimes.
If Comradette Rosie were not such a delightful Prog, then she could be posted on top of skyscrapers, to shoot down hijacked jetliners with her mouth. No product of Boeing, or NASA, or General Dynamics, could stand her mouth.
I recall when C. Pinkie told us about her time in bed with her partner Kelly. She was sweating so much that she thought that she'd wet the bed, or that Kelly had. So she went to the balcony of their bedroom and stood there naked, for the cool night breezes to dry the sweat.
I'm sure that under the balcony Jodin Morey and the Mime Mikael Rudolph were playing Romeo to her Juliet. The Mime--Rosie! Rosie! Rosie! I'll act like you're human and you do the same for me!
And dear proglodyte Jodin was running around saying, "Don't drop that sweat on me, Rosie! I'm non violent!" After which the threw himself on the ground to show that he was not armed and writhed there, whining, screaming, "Ask me if I'm okay! Ask me if I'm okay!"
If Comradette Rosie were not such a delightful Prog, then she could be posted on top of skyscrapers, to shoot down hijacked jetliners with her mouth. No product of Boeing, or NASA, or General Dynamics, could stand her mouth.
What about comrade Kim's missles comrade? Would those do anything against her mouth?
There is no force in the world quite like the mouth of La O'Donnell. She tells us, and therefore it must be true, that 9/11 was an inside job. Because "steel doesn't melt."
I hadn't known until then that steel was mined by little tiny dwarfs who chipped out the various girders from big old steel ore. Because steel doesn't melt.
Get it? That sort of, er, intelligence is completely impregnable against the world, and therefore is proof against the worst Islamic attack.
Comrade Malkin is in the house? How many RHINO Rethuglikkkans have visited today? Are we tagging there ears for later retrieval from the wilds of Africa-America? What will we do with the ivory? Do RHINO's have ivory? All Hail LGM!!! (and other glorious progs from the wilds of Malkin Land.)
Commissar_Elliott wrote
I'm sorry to do that comrade, but I had to put it up for comrade
Conservative Muzhelozhstvo.
Quite alright Commissar Elliot, I shall use a bloody sledgehammer as a sleeping pill for next three weeks, after which I will have no recollection of ever seeing such a glorious image.
Commissar_Theocritus wrote
And dear proglodyte Jodin was running aroundsaying, "Don't drop that sweat on me, Rosie! I'm non violent!" Afterwhich the threw himself on the ground to show that he was not armed andwrithed there, whining, screaming, "Ask me if I'm okay! Ask me if I'mokay!"
This is one time Commissar where I might feel the least bit of empathy for dear Jodin, could you imagine... acid might have a subtler impact.
Commissar, If you were as intellectual as Dear Leader Rosie Opigio you would have known this. But since you are as dense as that Robber Barron J.P. Morgan, I expect no such revelations from you!
This is glorious news! Now instead of tying down one hand behind our Soldiers back as we conduct combat operations in Afghanistan by making the rules of engagement so complex, in our effort to avoid 'collateral damage' as they hide among real innocent civilians.
We can now slap on this new requirement and we can now tie both their hands down now!!!!!!!
However, I am concerned that with this new and glorious Obama requirement, that some of our troops may not really take to this and just 'claim' they read them their rights, when in fact they did not.
I propose the perfect solution to ensure that this will be a success. We need to create a special force of about 3000 that will be composed entirely of ACLU lawyers and give them at least 8 weeks of intensive combat training in both urban and rural environments. The 3000 number with our current troop strength could than be broken up to where we would have ACLU Specialist Soldier embedded at least in every combat squad deployed there.
Of course the ACLU specialist would not issued any weapons, but would in fact be there as an extra body to ensure the troops that are doing the real fighting are reading these rights to these innocent until pr oven guilty sweeties, right there on the battlefield as it actually happens.
I also propose that the ACLU specialist uniform pants be made in a dark shade of brown, this will ensure any 'accidents' that will occur once they are in a real combat environment and actually are shot at by folks who haven't got to the point of having their rights read yet are 'overlooked'.
I hope the Obama administration will look into this proposal. I would love nothing more as a true progressive then to see my fellow ACLU progressive brothers and sisters in a real combat environment it really would make my day.
I recall when C. Pinkie told us about her time in bed with her partner Kelly. She was sweating so much that she thought that she'd wet the bed, or that Kelly had. So she went to the balcony of their bedroom and stood there naked, for the cool night breezes to dry the sweat.
Theocritus, I should whack you with my shovel for your careless use of pronouns.
But the mental image of Rosie--not me, you doofus--lying in a sweat-soaked bed, wallowing, if you will, in her own filth, only to peel herself off the sheets to go stand naked on a balcony and let the night breezes blow her dry--ah, the ripple of cellulite in the moonlight!--should be punishment enough.
Pinkie, what's an antecedent among friends? We progs don't believe that actions have consequences and therefore antecedents don't matter. A good example is Austan Goolsbee, one of the Sages of the Obama White House (PBUH). I saw him on a talking head show when Chris Wallace, who is not nearly the old dinosaur prog his father Mike Wallace is, suggested that giving the UAW so much control of Government Motors was unfair to the secured bond holders. Mr. Goolsbee let fly with another True Prog Observation:
"Everyone had some losses." So that's okay then.
Theocritus wept. Such a wonderful explanation. Using this wonderful logic Dachau was fine because the guards had losses in getting up to go to work to run the ovens.
And Pinkie, I'll thank you for not referring to Rosie Orca rolling around in her filth and going to dry on a balcony until I've had at least two touch-ups at Jiffi-Lobo.
I believe that was the time that even the Mime started to scream.
Comrades; Tonight we have been blessed by none other than that ubar progressive among progressives - media master of electronic Jiffi Lobo's - Olby One Turdanobi! It is a sign from the Obama that we are his chosen people!!
And Pinkie, I'll thank you for not referring to Rosie Orca rolling around in her filth and going to dry on a balcony until I've had at least two touch-ups at Jiffi-Lobo.
I believe that was the time that even the Mime started to scream.
I have to ask Theo, as many trips to Jifi-Lobo as you've had, how much of your brain is left?
I recall when C. Pinkie told us about her time in bed with her partner Kelly. She was sweating so much that she thought that she'd wet the bed, or that Kelly had. So she went to the balcony of their bedroom and stood there naked, for the cool night breezes to dry the sweat.
Theocritus, I should whack you with my shovel for your careless use of pronouns.
But the mental image of Rosie--not me, you doofus--lying in a sweat-soaked bed, wallowing, if you will, in her own filth, only to peel herself off the sheets to go stand naked on a balcony and let the night breezes blow her dry--ah, the ripple of cellulite in the moonlight!--should be punishment enough.
See I was enjoying this until you mentioned Rosie. There isn't enough Jifi Lobo in the world to get that out of my mind.
As I have pointed out in the past, many, many times, Americans are arrogant and they have (When I say "they" I mean the non-hyphenated Americans) made horrible mistakes. One horrible mistake was the unforgivable actions of the passengers on Flight 93 in which no matter how many times I tell the Islamic world that we (when I say "we" I mean the radical leftist appeasement cabal in which I'm a charter member) are sorry, I can understand why Islam will never forgive us; Todd Beamer and all the other arrogant Americans forgot to give the backup flight crew their Miranda Rights before they yelled "Let's Roll". I am truly disgusted and ashamed of their behavior and I hope this tribute to Islam will help sooth world tensions in which America is to blame.
Oh...yes. Thank you Teleprompter, I almost forgot.
America is to blame and so is George W. Bush.
Comrade Obama, and might I be so bold as to speak for everyone here at the Cube to express my heartlfelt honor at having you here in our presence. Might I assume indeed that you are The ONE himself, not merely comrade Obama, not merely the child-molesting brother, or is it the cancer-stricken brother? or is it the deported mother (or the insane uncle or the absent father) but The THE himself, the O, his Oliness? If so, your shoe defies my worthiness to spitshine it.
Netheless, O Great and Lugubrious One, far be it from me to contradict you, O He from whom the EAst and West winds blow, whose hair is like Brilcreme, whose smile impregnates young women, whose toes exude the ether of paradise, but I looked on the Government site and no mention was made of a crescent or 44 anything. Please do not strike me down with your powerful lazerbeam eyes, O Grandiloquent and Perspicacious Potentate, I merely am pointing out that perhaps you will need to fire someone and get those idiots over there at nps.org to get on the ball. Now, with your most obsequeious and parapatetic permission, O multitudinous and supine Lord, I will end this post never to darken your radiant effulgence again.
There is no force in the world quite like the mouth of La O'Donnell. She tells us, and therefore it must be true, that 9/11 was an inside job. Because "steel doesn't melt."
I hadn't known until then that steel was mined by little tiny dwarfs who chipped out the various girders from big old steel ore. Because steel doesn't melt.
Get it? That sort of, er, intelligence is completely impregnable against the world, and therefore is proof against the worst Islamic attack.
You have the right to remain silent or, if you want, shout Allahu Akbar in a maniacal voice. Anything you say will be used against the United States by left-wing radical groups and the mainstream media. You have the right to use an ACLU attorney in bringing a frivolous lawsuit against the American government. If you cannot afford an attorney, the American taxpayers whom you haven't yet killed, will pay for one. If you do not understand these rights, you will be given a chance to sue us later for your failure to do so.
The Rights Warning commonly called the Miranda Warning when issued to Party Thugs Progressive Party members from the New Black Panthers or the Farakhan Branch of the Muslim Coalition who are sometimes caught performing criminal acts Party Operations is slightly longer and more detailed.
May I suggest the following.
Quote
If you chose to surrender these rights your Imam will be told and you will be given the opportunity for reeducation effort before going further, Should you decide to re-affirm these rights subsequently you will be provided with the appropriate media outlet If you understand these rights as read please reply in the affirmative with the words " You are an infidel dog and I will kill you".
P.S. We should start calling this the Mohammad Declarative.
Rex! How dare you suggest that Rosie needed any sort of university? Knowledge just, well, presents itself to Her. She fetches things in her head and her head tells her what's right. In normal people that would be considered a psychosis, but not in La Orca. With l'Orca, it is RECEIVED TRUTH.
Steel doesn't melt. Well, who knew? Until now. Rosie wallows in her marriage bed in her filth and then dries out on the balcony, sending Mikael Rudolph and Jodin Morey into paroxysms of ecstasy, rubbing Rosie sweat and pee into their sallow bodies and Mikael the Mime has a justification for his existence and Jodin no longer has to steal cell phones to throw down.
Rex! How dare you suggest that Rosie needed any sort of university? Knowledge just, well, presents itself to Her. She fetches things in her head and her head tells her what's right. In normal people that would be considered a psychosis, but not in La Orca. With l'Orca, it is RECEIVED TRUTH.
Steel doesn't melt. Well, who knew? Until now. Rosie wallows in her marriage bed in her filth and then dries out on the balcony, sending Mikael Rudolph and Jodin Morey into paroxysms of ecstasy, rubbing Rosie sweat and pee into their sallow bodies and Mikael the Mime has a justification for his existence and Jodin no longer has to steal cell phones to throw down.
And I was at work when I wrote that. That was the day when my ear was raped by four of the biggest ratchet-jawed people on earth--even fingering my serrated letter opener did not send them screaming into the hot windy heat.
But Rosie has one thing going for her. She's not Margaret Cho.
Occasionally I receive hate mail from offended tolerant progs, and it's always too dirty to reproduce on the Cube. But this one takes the prize, so here it is. Highlight the quoted area to read it.
Quote
From: REDACTED
To: REDACTED
Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 6:48 PM
Subject: Feedback from the Cube
nice cartoon on the 9-11 event you worthless assholes. What kind of piece of shit fuckheads are you "people." Obviously, none of you jerkoffs lost anyone in the attack. What about those who did, you sub-human brain dead fuckheads. We can only hope that some deranged terrorist cocksucker flies a plane into you, or better yet, sets a bomb at your front door, you hate mongering assholes. It would be a better world with you assholes off of it.
I just love accusations of stupidity from the stupid and intolerance from the intolerant.
Well, it fits. Every time Our Many Titted Empress accused someone of something, it meant that she'd done it and it might come our, or she was going to do it.
Every time Our Many Titted Empress accused someone of something, it meant that she'd done it and it might come our, or she was going to do it.
The prog motto: Got projection?
Commissar, could this be like recently when Our Glorious MTE went over to Palestine and told them to quit subverting the minds of young children with Hamas propaganda? Meanwhile Comrade Ayers has helped create a glorious agenda of propaganda re-education for the children of Our Glorious MTE's Villiage... as Comrade Ayers says, "Why Can't A Girl With A Penis Wear A Skirt?"... Errrrhuuuuurrrrmmm... I must consult with Comrade Ayers immediately, I need clarification on his rhetorical question, my 5 year old daughter needs to know for her People's Biology™ class.
Could you please ask Our Glorious MTE if Heathers Two Mommies are ever coming home from the strip club,er, strap on club???
Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately read it's Miranda Rights by the Empire of Japan.
I am asking this Joint Session of Congress to remain silent and seek legal counsel. If Congress can't afford legal counsel, the Supreme Court will appoint it's Chief Justice. Anything you do or say can be held against you in the Hague.
I do believe we have a good case though against the Tojo Police Department for wanton destruction of private property, overuse of force, unlawful physical restraint, negligent homicide, and police brutality.
I'm pretty confident the Hague will rule in our favor.
Could you please ask Our Glorious MTE if Heathers Two Mommies are ever coming home from the strip club,er, strap on club???
Here's that our Many Titted Empress sends birthday cards to:
Some while ago in these pages we had developed for our MTE the Hildo Turbo Hydra--all those extra heads for drop-in-company. Like Janet Reno, and, well the other Janet...
Occasionally I receive hate mail from offended tolerant progs, and it's always too dirty to reproduce on the Cube. But this one takes the prize, so here it is. Highlight the quoted area to read it.
Quote
From: REDACTED
To: REDACTED
Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 6:48 PM
Subject: Feedback from the Cube
nice cartoon on the 9-11 event you worthless assholes. What kind of piece of shit fuckheads are you "people." Obviously, none of you jerkoffs lost anyone in the attack. What about those who did, you sub-human brain dead fuckheads. We can only hope that some deranged terrorist cocksucker flies a plane into you, or better yet, sets a bomb at your front door, you hate mongering assholes. It would be a better world with you assholes off of it.
Looks like Bobby Gibbs was bored and had consumed way to much Putinka one night.
Funny, I was thinking the same thing, not to mention, I love it when folks message us with 3/4 of the message composed entirely of "fuck" or "fucken". It's like they think it's such a taboo, it would cause us to shut the site and apologize.
Sheesh. Some people have no sense of humor. If we can't laugh at terrorist attacks and 4.000 dead of our fellow citizens, well, what can we laugh at?
You've got me, if we can't laugh at terrorist attacks. Instead, watch this video, there's a message at the end which actually makes some very good sense.
We can laugh at Sarah Palin's daughter, can't we? And at Michael Moore's blood lust for Rethuglicans, can't we? Now I personally just love to laugh at things. I love to laugh at run-over kittens and starved puppies. too.
So I responded to the sensitive prog whose email I quoted before. It resulted in an email exchange that ended today on a glorious note. See below:
SENSITIVE PROG:
nice cartoon on the 9-11 event you worthless assholes. What kind of piece of shit fuckheads are you "people." Obviously, none of you jerkoffs lost anyone in the attack. What about those who did, you sub-human brain dead fuckheads. We can only hope that some deranged terrorist cocksucker flies a plane into you, or better yet, sets a bomb at your front door, you hate mongering assholes. It would be a better world with you assholes off of it.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
And your point is?...
SENSITIVE PROG:
Your joke is not funny and is completely devoid of humanity.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
And reading Miranda rights to the terrorists is full of humanity, you think? I posted your email on the thread. You can read the comments.
SENSITIVE PROG:
have you ever read the United States Constitution? I really don't care what your readers have to say about what I said, but thanks for posting it.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Are terrorists United States citizens?
SENSITIVE PROG:
were the japanese or nazis US citizens? Come on, man. How old are you?
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
The Japanese or Nazis were uniformed soldiers drafted from the population sometimes against their will and sent to fight by their government - they had no choice but be in the army. That's why the Geneva conventions make total sense. But the al-Qaeda terrorists are all volunteers, fanatics, they don't serve any government, don't wear uniforms, don't have any rules, don't participate in agreements, and commit atrocities against civilians. Need examples? Your holier than thou piousness is misplaced. I was right outside WTC on 9-11 and still have nightmares. That's why I don't want it to happen again to anyone else. Unlike you, it seems.
SENSITIVE PROG:
so you make jokes about it.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
What do you think was the target of the joke?
SENSITIVE PROG:
you tell me. I don't see how any kind of joke showing the plane about to slam into the tower is even conceivable.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Do you find the slogan "9-11 was an inside job" conceivable?
SENSITIVE PROG:
are you serious?
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Then did you send the same hateful emails to the perpetrators of those theories, who are standing at Ground Zero daily with their posters and agitate people? Would you approach them and say the same things you told me?
SENSITIVE PROG:
This is about as different as you say the terrorists are from the Japs and the Nazis. I didn't see a cartoon with a sick joke as the plane was flying into the WTC from them. Apples and oranges. Hateful email? Maybe, but you wouldn't have gotten it if you didn't come up with your insensitive, to say the least, cartoon, which stirred up those feelings. Again, if you're response to your nightmarish experience of 9-11 is to publish a joke about it, then you've got a problem, my friend. ...and the 9-11 inside job people are the same ones that think that everything is a conspiracy. Anyone with an active, productive life isn't a part of that kind of crap. They're a bunch of nut jobs also, like the UFOers, Elvis is still alive crowd, Big foot fans, etc. It's takes all kinds for sure, and I guess losers need something to give some meaning to their lives.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Your sanctimony doesn't pass the BS test, given your original response wishing to see us dead.
SENSITIVE PROG:
ok , so I overreacted. I don't want you dead. I want your IQ raised about 100 pts.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Something tells me it's not about my IQ or even WTC - but about my ideology that does not accept Obama as our savior. No matter how high my IQ or moral qualities are, in the eyes of a prog I'll still be a stupid heathen. So why even try? Progs don't compromise, they want total assimilation. Otherwise it's threats and insults. But there may be hope for you if you stop being such a prog.
SENSITIVE PROG:
You see, using words like Savior and teeny bopper words like prog are the issue. There's no doubt among anyone above room temperature IQ who don't echo the opinions of the republican borg that Obama is exactly the right guy a the right time. Do you have any idea how much bush/cheney and the repub pinheads in congress have screwed things up. Don't listen to idiots like limbaugh, hannity, and the rest of those clowns. They dont' get briefed. They know NOTHING. All that they're concerned with is keeping their Gulf Streams fueled up. I live just outside of Wash. DC and have people in the higher eschelons of government on both sides as clients. One is the first weapons negotiator in Iraq. None of them knew what the hell bush/cheney were doing for 8 years. If you'd give Obama a chance to clean up bushes mess (yet, another one) and look at what he says rather than to the right wing Borg, you might appreciate that the guy really does give a shit and is working for US. I don't think you're a millionaire.
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Obama's made a much bigger mess already than Bush has ever done in 8 years. Funny that you speak about echoing media opinions. The echo chamber belongs to the Obama crowd in all the major networks and newspapers. So there's a bigger statistical probability for someone with your views to be the reflector of the media soundbites. When I listen to the media I get the impression they've lost the habit of thinking long time ago. They'll accept forced "economic equality" without a blink. It's very sad that so many Americans are now willing to sacrifice their own country to the illusory moral superiority of group interests over individual rights.
SENSITIVE PROG:
nice talking with ya
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR:
Farewell, comrade! Keep your shovel sharp for the Party if we are to bring about the The Progressive World of Next Tuesday™
PEOPLE'S DIRECTOR: Obama's made a much bigger mess already than Bush has ever done in 8 years. Funny that you speak about echoing media opinions. The echo chamber belongs to the Obama crowd in all the major networks and newspapers. So there's a bigger statistical probability for someone with your views to be the reflector of the media soundbites. When I listen to the media I get the impression they've lost the habit of thinking long time ago. They'll accept forced "economic equality" without a blink. It's very sad that so many Americans are now willing to sacrifice their own country to the illusory moral superiority of group interests over individual rights.
SENSITIVE PROG: nice talking with ya
Or as my father would say, "Well shut my mouth."
For You, My Dearest, Reddest, Squarest One Of All:
Good work, Red, although speaking facts to a prog is like, well, trying to talk to my grandmother, who spent her entire life avoiding taking in any information because she would have to pay attention to someone else.
We need a prog bris knife which can cut through the smug.
I think a new cartoon is in order; Airforce One flies over the New York skyline. Caption in the speech balloon that emerges from it? "Don't listen to idiots like limbaugh, hannity, and the rest of those clowns. They dont' get briefed. They know NOTHING." or "raise your IQ about 100 points" or "Do I get Miranda rights too?" or "Miranda, what's Miranda?" (A: "I don't know... what's my randa?")
Sheesh. Some people have no sense of humor. If we can't laugh at terrorist attacks and 4.000 dead of our fellow citizens, well, what can we laugh at?
You've got me, if we can't laugh at terrorist attacks. Instead, watch this video, there's a message at the end which actually makes some very good sense.
===funny video with virgins===
GaROFL. That video reminds me of this fantastic news story about the capture of a U.S. soldier.
which reminds me of this series on YouTube which I enjoy:
which reminds of this parody which is... well... you decide....
Thanks Red…
I was reading the comments in Michelle Malkin’s blog and I was a little confused by some of the “sacred” comments and that the WTC shouldn’t be “used” in a political cartoon….blah, blah, blah…..making light humor of that horrible day….blah blah….etc.
I thought to myself “Self! Who are these namby pamby conservatives that have an IQ LOWER than 100 and don’t understand political satire or the message being stated?”
Yes, September 11, 2001 was a horrible day, but what is more horrible is giving these animal perpetrators a useful tool to be used against the USA.
If that image upsets you, good! If you understand the satire, better! If you act on the obvious, that’s the best!
……but as it turns out, it was just another sanctimonious Libtard troll.
As Billy Pilgrim said “So it goes”.
Welcome To The Nitwit Planet. Try Not To Drool.
Come one, come all to my brand spankin' new web blog. I'm so special. The tag line of this blog (as soon as I can figure out how to do it) will be something like “Making the world a better place one moron at a time.”
In any case, the purpose of this blog is for political rantings, from all political perspectives.
I am an anarcho-syndicalist (find a dictionary if you don't already know what that means), and my views are reflected as such.
I'm working on making anyone able to post to my comments, whether or disagree with me or not. So have fun.
Maybe if I weren't so nice and civil and simple-minded? Perhaps I should be more like Red's little pen pal, and make my point by using big impressive words that show everyone how well educated and thoughtful and brilliantly insightful I am. You know, words like "fuckheads."
Only I can't shake this weird feeling that the only people who use those kind of words to argue their case are--well . . . "fuckheads."
A character in Jack Kerouac's "The Dharma Bums" based on the real life person Alan Ginsburg that this clown uses for a blogging nom de guerre.
This blogging clown, tone deaf, metal banging Bushater from Woodbridge, VA invaded our site and paid a dear price.
He hasn't blogged since 6/2007 and returns for one stupid article.....and WHACK....clang.....thud.
Pinkie's Golden Shovel strikes again....c'mon Pinkie, cut poor Mulva some slack....not.
GaROFL. That video reminds me of this fantastic news story about the capture of a U.S. soldier. ...
which reminds me of this series on YouTube which I enjoy:
...
which reminds of this parody which is... well... you decide....
...
How did you know I like those G.I. Joe parodies, the third video? "Damn, these beats are so, fresh! Snnnnnap!"
Welcome To The Nitwit Planet. Try Not To Drool.
Come one, come all to my brand spankin' new web blog. I'm so special. The tag line of this blog (as soon as I can figure out how to do it) will be something like “Making the world a better place one moron at a time.”
In any case, the purpose of this blog is for political rantings, from all political perspectives.
I am an anarcho-syndicalist (find a dictionary if you don't already know what that means), and my views are reflected as such.
I'm working on making anyone able to post to my comments, whether or disagree with me or not. So have fun.
I can't shake this weird feeling that the only people who use those kind of words are-- well . . . "fuckheads."
I get very tired of people telling me how great and intelligent they are; especially when they then screw up their grammar at the end of their self-congratulatory little frottage.
Amazing how many libtards have taken to moderating their comments, isn't it? Well this is the forerunner of the Fairness Doctrine.
Of course. The sanctimonious fart sniffers of the left are happy to have wide open discourse and conversation with anyone. As long as you agree with them of course. If you don't agree with them, you are a troll, someone who isn't interested in civil discourse, or simply a person who has no interest in "social justice".
Naturally they cannot stoop to having conversations with trolls or people who want to simply argue, so they can then justify blocking your commentary in the interest of "open conversation" because you would otherwise disrupt their harmonious flow of self congratulations on being so proggish.
I get very tired of people telling me how great and intelligent they are; especially when they then screw up their grammar at the end of their self-congratulatory little frottage.
It just makes them look so smart, doesn't it. I suppose the majority of them are high-school drop outs, so their speling 'n gramr isn't not good.
Only I can't shake this weird feeling that the only people who use those kind of words to argue their case are--well . . . "fuckheads."
But would that make me one?
No, this is not a case of projection. They engage in blunderbuss accusations having no better ammunition. Wit is a stiletto; sarcasm a much weaker foil. Verbal abuse a surrender before the fact.
I joined, as I said, the site while trying to source some moonbat-bashing on www.jessicaswell.com. I followed the lead to dear Alva's site and had such a good time with dear Alva that I knew I'd found a new sport: liberal baiting. Such is their sanctimonious self regard that they really hand you all the weapons. It would be ungrateful for me not to use them.
My current object of affection is Mark Morford. Dear Mark. Let's see how many kisses I can heap on him. He's as rich a target as Mikael the Minnesota Moonbat Mime and Jodin Morey, who comes in peace, and throws down his cell phone and takes off his Gitmo gear, and whines, whines, whines...
God, I love liberals. Because of my fun with them there are realtors and mortgage bankers who are alive today.
I have many bad things to say about mortgage brokers--and will recant on none of them. But I have to confess. The realtors in this town are a good bit ahead of other towns' realtors, or most of them. Mostly they listen when I tell them there's a problem. This is not always the case with other realtors. And I make them get involved with fixing things too. It's a very small town and I'm lucky, or not, enough to be the (cough cough) competent title person in it.
I have a good friend whose daughter-in-law is a very decent Realtor in Midland. Too bad that so many of the crew would make a rattlesnake run screaming.
Since when did "decent" and "Midland" go in the same sentence?
BTW, do you know if they have finished work on the old Settles Hotel in Big Spring? That old building always fascinated me. As did the ruins of an old brick building near the railroad tracks on First Ave there. Big Spring has some depressingly old and worn out parts of town, or at least did when I was there. I want to go back there for a visit sometime...
Midland is a great town. It's full of rich conservatives. I got by with, and get by with, anything. These are people who can appreciate a good moonbat bashing. Once, 25 years ago, I was in Dallas in the middle of the night waiting for a computer to work and Dave, my boss, who hired me, was reading from Fortune to me and Craig, his employee, getting ready for a real-estate dog-and-pony show on the morrow. The program was acting up.
"What's the city with the most millionaires?" New York, of course. Second was of course LA. Then Chicago and Houston and then down the line according to population. He said on number eight or nine: "You'll never get this. What's next?"
"Midland," I said. Well, I'd done programming for some of the rich people and you can't hide that.
And I know I keep banging the drum but these awful Republican Nazis just don't care that I'm gay. Bear in mind that that was a really big thing not that long ago. So much with right-wing intolerance.
And Midland has a lot of Ivy League education--people came in after WWII to make money in the oil business. The arts are much bigger there than you would think for a city of its size. The shopping is better than you would think.
Haven't been through downtown Big Spring in a few years--I assume you mean the tall hotel downtown? Hope it goes through. Next the one in Mineral Wells.
He hasn't blogged since 6/2007 and returns for one stupid article.....and WHACK....clang.....thud.
Pinkie's Golden Shovel strikes again....c'mon Pinkie, cut poor Mulva some slack....not.
Now that you mention it, what's up with that? Here I am, a faithful follower of his blog, his most loyal fan if you will, and every time I try to do him a favor and draw some more traffic his way, not only does he refuse to accept comments, but he even takes down the posts I call attention to (21 things to do before you die, the phony joint story, grandpa's underwear) and then doesn't blog anything for almost two years. Yet his material is actually quite precious when it isn't Mimeswiped.
Considering the only visitors he gets would seem to come from the Cube, I wonder if, every time he receives comments for moderation, he gets suspicious and comes over here to see if we're talking about him and his latest posts, and once confirmed, he goes back and deletes them?
Makes me want to conduct a little experiment with his latest offering, though it might be better accomplished under a separate entry in The People's Blog.
Yes, Pinkie you are his most faithful follower, but it was I that discovered the immortal Alva "Mulva" Goldbook", the proggiest of progs. Who else could quote Marx and The Bible together better than Mulva with the exception of Chairman Zero?
Oh, I just love it when SecProgs find it convenient to go crying back to Jesus when they can't win an argument any other way. They're right down there with recent atheists in foxholes and storm cellars.
Mulva's frothings Mimeswiped from that thread:
Quote
Acts 2:41-2:47 states:
“Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand persons were added that day. They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles and to the COMMUNAL life, to the breaking of the bread and to the prayers. Awe came upon everyone, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in COMMON; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all ACCORDING TO EACH ONE’S NEED. Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple area and to breaking bread in their homes. They ate their meals with exultation and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.”
I'm no Bible scholar, but I have at hand both the NIV and KJV, and in both, where Mulva says COMMUNAL, they say "fellowship."
(If that movie were made today, they'd call it "The Community Organization of the Ring")
But more importantly than that, while they did sell off their property and possessions and divvy them up according to need, and one could argue that because so many of them were doing it, they were doing it as a collective, the fact remains they did it themselves as INDIVIDUALS and VOLUNTARILY out of the goodness of their hearts. That's called CHARITY, children.
Meaning no higher authority came along and said, "This is what we're going to do, and you're going to shut up while we do it," only to confiscate goods from one group and give them to another. That, children, is called COMMUNISM and no one has ever said it begins at home.
It begins at the government level.
BTW, I saw Robin Hood with Errol Flynn the other night on Turner Classics. What an eye-opener in this day and age. He never took from the rich and gave to the poor; how'd that B.S. ever get started and kept alive? He only took back what the GOVERNMENT had been STEALING and CONFISCATING and otherwise SHAKING DOWN from people who were most decidedly NOT RICH! I was almost shocked that an old prog like Ted would allow that movie to be shown on his network.
Most brilliant, Pinkie! I especially liked one line that can be changed into a Cube headline speaking about one or another GovProg engaging in redistribution but cheating on his own taxes, let's say Geithner.
Geithner: no one has ever said communism begins at home
Thanks, Pinkie. You've hit on the difference, of course, between Prog Life and real life. Prog Life is coercive. Behind every prog is the whiff of the concentration camp, whether it's a real one or "sensitivity training."
Do you think that Hollywood will make a movie about an overreaching government and show it to be a bad thing?
Ah yesssss....The Tale of Brave Sir Robin of Loxley!
The Redistributor of the Redistributors!
That whole "illegal forced taxation" bit seems to get lost in the jargon.
....but if you take it to the logical proggie counter spin, you get
I've been meaning to write an essay about the Robin Hood myth for a while, as part of the "Take the culture back" series.
My main point is that in the times of feudalism, which I see as early socialism, the wealth of the overlords (the looters) was largely unearned often obtained by coercion at the point of the sword. The people (the producers) were powerless and subject to merciless looting by the overlords who also personified the government. Under such conditions, taking back from the looters and giving back to the producers was absolutely just and moral.
The fallacy here is that the progs continue with this principle despite the fact that capitalism has cardinally changed the rules of the game. The producers are now free and well-paid, while most of the wealth has been earned with an honest effort. The ones who invoke the myth of Robin Hood today mean that the wealth must be taken away from the producers and given to the looters and the moochers. It's quite the opposite of the original principle.
In the best case, such progs are stuck in the distant past, like the anecdotal Japanese soldiers on a deserted island who still continue to sink US ships without any idea that the war has ended and Japan is now America's best ally. In the worst case, they are evil, deliberately misleading double-thinkers.
The same principle, by the way, applies to the ridiculous notion that "Jesus was the first communist," and it is something I was also planning to write if I find time. In the times of slavery, when wealth was mostly obtained by evil means, such wealth justly represented the power of evil. Hence, staying deliberately poor was the equivalent of honesty and high moral standard. The slaves who refused to cooperate with their masters and increase their evil power, were justified in doing so.
But in modern days when wealth is mostly obtained by honest and moral means through individual effort, it no longer symbolizes evil, but rather ingenuity and industriousness, which is a virtue. Hating wealth in a free society, therefore, means to hate virtue and support vice, such as, sloth and covetousness. Again, the progs have it all upside down.
What's the appropriate metaphor? I'm not sure that "stranded Japanese soldiers quoting from the Bible" works.
I hold you and the other comrades in awe. I wish I had the time and bandwidth to be more useful to The Party.
I truly enjoyed your conversation with the sensitive prog. What a hoot! Progs never understand the consequences of their actions, never estimate the future, and never admit their mistakes when the consequences of their actions have the opposite effect of their intentions.
As an ex-soldier, if I were deployed, the only Miranda Rights the terrorists would receive from me would be from 300 meters in a language everyone understands. While I trust the integrity of our soldiers, I truly wonder how many terrorists will never see their day in an American court, with their ACLU attorney, as a result of The Great Leader's Wisdom.
ONCE AGAIN FOR THE PROGS:
The greatest guilt today is that of people who accept collectivism by moral default; the people who seek protection from the necessity of taking a stand, by refusing to admit to themselves the nature of that which they are accepting; the people who support plans specifically designed to achieve serfdom, but hide behind the empty assertion that they are lovers of freedom, with no concrete meaning attached to the word; the people who believe that the content of ideas need not be examined, that principles need not be defined, and that facts can be eliminated by keeping one's eyes shut. They expect, when they find themselves in a world of bloody ruins and concentration camps, to escape moral responsibility by wailing: "But I didn't mean this!"
No way will letting these terrorists solve any problems in fact it will only give them another chance to finish what they were planning. More over it puts a front to the world that people who aren't even Americans get the same rights as citizens, they aren't even on American soil and are given more privileges than most actual citizens. Something needs to be done about "people" who don't deserve the rights they are given.
Something will be done to people who don't deserve the rights they are given. Unfortunately worthy people suffer when it happens. I had an argument with my father on Sunday, when he was crabbing so much that I had to leave early. Not on bad terms, but just out of a feeling of being closed in. He's 83, sharp, sensible, but boy was he grumpy.
I said that I at times actually welcomed a sort of collapse to slap people in the face to get them to flush the Washington toilet at the polls. Sense isn't working.
One does reach a point of satiation in this matter. I think mine was reached on election day back in November. But then again, it was nearly to that point when the RNC nominated and elected a man who refused to cut our taxes and then turned around and claimed he wouldn't raise taxes. Really, who could be trusted?
Bring on the deluge. We'll live through it. I can't wait for a younger neighbor (a smug Democrat), who once sold me cosmetics to come around one day, begging, and give me the chance to show her the utmost compassion, but tell her, "sorry dear, I really don't need anything today."
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
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Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
