Cash for Clunkers: Obamacare Edition

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How much is your old family member worth? Turn them in to the nearest Planned Grandparenthood Center and find out! Receive cash prizes and free healthcare entitlements! As part of a new incentive tied to Obama's upcoming healthcare reform, the network of Planned Grandparenthood Centers are to begin running ads, themed "Double Cash for Your Old Coot." The push offers a cash incentive or zero-percent financing on top of free government plans for all families whose trade-in old-timers qualify for the government's program known as "Cash for Clunkers," up to a maximum of four grandparents over 70 years of age. Latest opinion polls show that seniors steal billions of dollars out the federal budget each year just by staying alive. This new bold initiative is calculated to save us all money by gently recycling high-maintenance old coots, thus taking them off the list of potential beneficiaries of the impeccable government health coverage. "Everyone who signs up for our plan will get a cash incentive even if they don't turn in a qualifying old fogey," says White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "But families who trade in their useless members will also get a free premium plan and - for a limited time only - a rationing coupon for an extra unaborted baby!" At the opening of the first Planned Grandparenthood Center in Washington, DC last week, Barack Obama offered a brief, optimistic cheer: "In the cold-hearted, uncaring capitalist society of the past, where every man was for himself, people often reached advanced age without any government help. It is a shame that in the richest country in the world, old people were abandoned by society and survived on their own, sometimes until they were 117 years old. No one knew or cared about how long they lived because everyone paid their own medical bills. But those dog-eat-dog days are over. In the caring, collectivist America, no one will be allowed to live without government care. And since we are paying for you, we decide how long you can be a drain on the collective wallet. "From my meetings with community activists and focus groups I have learned one thing: once you're past seventy, you have outlived your usefulness. Progress requires sacrifice. Some don't buy a large flat-screen TV, some don't go on vacation, and some don't go on living. And since humans are nothing more than a random collection of chemical elements that can also be found in a flat-screen TV, human sacrifice is no different than material sacrifice. Do it for the children!"

Special thanks to General Secretary for the idea.

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UPDATE:

Consideringthe overwhelming response to these new related protest Poster Designs, we created a few new items for sale with them: http://www.zazzle.com/red_square



- Supreme Commander of Thread Jacking & Stuffed Mice Toys™

Dr. M'bogo Um Papa Mau Mau celebrates the ethnic diversity of his Health Care Plan. In the spirit of sacrifice the good doctor and his family (along with members of Congress and the Senate) will continue to suffer the old Capitalist system of pay as you go health care. What's good for them is never good enough for us.

In health care, as in life, some in the collective are more equal than others.  This makes perfect sense to anyone not corrupted by the capitalist running dogs and fearmongers.

I salute this logical extension of The One's inscrutable wisdom.

Of course the proles will take this as just another magnanimous gesture from the all caring Obama-Messiah. However, I have it on good authority (Al Gore, Bill Maher, Henry Waxman) that due to global warming food supplies will be critically short and Obama wants to create the impetus to start stock piling Soylent Green as soon as possible.  From what I understand Michelle has a recipe that makes it taste just like Wagyu Beef!

Obama's  aunt Zeituni Polly Onyango is 45 years old and still has 25 years to go

Cash for turning in useless old coots?????  I call first dibs on Congress!

Squeal you say?  

http://www.pigcollecting.com/gallery/squeal2.WAV

I knew this was coming and the time is right because we see how successful the progrom is working with cars!  Being a person of a certain age I am truly grateful that my offspring have not produced any of their own, thereby making me a grandparent.

We are indeed fortunate that The One had the foresight to select Dr. Zeke with his program of "Complete Lives".

Do I have to be genetically related to the person to claim this "Cash for Codgers" promotion?  I live next to an old lady who doesn't have any kids, and it seems to me a waste that she doesn't have anyone of her own to turn her in.

Cash for  Clunkers  Croakers

Mi Comrades

The spectacular social experiment we are witnessing with the “Cash for Clunkers” program is quite fascinating and quite telling for America’s health care future. With the “Cash for Clunkers” program our "people's" government is now in the process of demonizing and destroying cars that in most respects retain significant value to the many peasants who love and care for them. They are fully operational, can pass most state inspections, and provide a quality existence to those whose purpose they are so diligently serving. These cars are loved, cared for and maintained by the "people's" who in most cases would not be willing to replace them. But, our "people's" government views those cars in a much different light, comrades. In the eyes of the government the “clunkers” are a drain on society and harmful to the collective. They are unworthy of existence and must be replaced with newer, more efficient, and more socially conscious models that will work to benefit society as a whole. As a result of this belief our government has instituted a plan that encourages the masses to sacrifice their cherished cars for the betterment of society and is even willing to pay the peasants to destroy and replace their old prized possessions. Resistance, for these cars, is futile.

The same "people's" government that fails to recognize the value of old reliable is the same government that will fail to recognize the value of America’s old. With Obama-care and an eventual single-payer "people's" health care system, the dealings with America’s elderly, handicapped, and mentally disabled will operate under the same principles that currently guide its policies toward America’s “clunkers”. Individuals, the sick, will face the same level of bureaucratic compassion that is currently sending perfectly good automobiles to their fateful end. Under our “socially conscious” government health care plan, comrades,  the government will once again help society to determine what models (people) are worthy of protection, health services, and aid, and which models (people) whose time is up, whose better days are behind them, and whose last socially conscious act will be their inevitable sacrifice for the social good. Instead of the cattle being led to slaughter in automobile showrooms and the offices of sleazy cars salesmen, America’s most vulnerable will exercise their final act of social responsibility in doctor’s offices, hospital emergency rooms, and Hospice centers. Resistance, for these people, is futile.


Maybe a $4,500.00 tax incentive will ease the burden on the "people's" families quite nicely. Seems to be working so far.

Sincerely,

El Presidente

The good news is that El Presidente has just learned that mi padre's 2005 Ford Windstar minivan qualifies under the program as a government certified “clunker”. The bad news is under Obama-care mi padre, too, qualifies as a government certified “clunker”.

At least he will be driving a new car when Obama-care denies him any expensive life saving medical treatment.  And his car will have a better bumper to bumper warrenty policy then the one provided by Comrade Obama.

I am sure our beloved government would never let such a prize sacrificial lamb get away.  Please report to said govt. center with the sacrificial lamb in hand so you can retrieve your reward.

As Congress is "more equal than others", there will be no cash offered for those clunkers. They will also not be victims - uh - I mean subjected to - that is - they will be exempt from Obamacare. So go back up into the attic and drag those grandparents downstairs so they can do their duty to society.

Comrade Ivana Tinkle,

Welcome to the Cube, where croaking for the people is the most desirable option.  Of course, for all clunker croakers, as was once said in the film "People's Cube Casa Blanca," even when croaking time is near, "we will always have the gulag."

Very good indeed.

But I say why stop here!

Did we not learn that one of Papa Obama's advisors Emanuel Rahm (yes brothers), suppported euthanasia for more groups than just old.

See:
Papa Obama Top Health Advisor Supports Euthanasia

He did not limit himself to only the old. No- he even had the collective courage to ask this question of other members of the masses who drain public funds:

He believes that "communitarianism" should guide decisions on who gets care. He says medical care should be reserved for the non-disabled, not given to those "who are irreversibly prevented from being or becoming participating citizens . . . An obvious example is not guaranteeing health services to patients with dementia"


For example:

Would this women count as one of the Non-Disabled 'Participating' Citizens under Papa's Obama Health Advisor or could she pay enough in a 'soda tax' to cover her medical costs- Women calls 911 because her fries are cold

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=4c0_1249133445&p=1

Ann Coulter has linked to this thread and quoted us tonight as the first item under "QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN ANN" in the right-hand column. Thanks for the traffic, Ann! And welcome to the Cube - you'll be quite at home here.

Nice. Very cool Red Square.

But, why would a right wing "fascist" like Ann traffic this clearly progressive web-site?  Any chance that your efforts are pulling her into the collective?

Welcome Comrade AC,

Actually, this welcome is totally unnecessary, I'll venture to say.  I have suspected you as being one of us for a long time.  I just knew all those quips you are famous for were just fed to you by an operative to make you appear not to be in line with our Dear Leader's aspirations.  

I wouldn't be surprised if you show up as a secret house guest soon, at a certain residence in Martha's Vineyard.

Comrade Neotrotsky,

Of course, you are correct.  It the standard modus operandi to start with one thing and expand on the idea, otherwise the masses would not accept our glorious system.  

Unfortunately, I fear that too many are finding out right now about how we intend to phase out the private health care option by making it illegal for any employees who change jobs to be enlisted in anything but the government health care, and that goes for employees who start with another company, as well.

This is a secret we in the inner circle do not want people to know.  They must be led to believe that that they will have the option of keeping their private insurance.   Well, of course they can keep it, but as each employee leaves his job, he will also leave behind that private insurance policy.  

It really is too much for the masses to handle any drastic change.  This is why Comrade Fidel started first by taking all farmers' tractors before the next step, which was to take their land.   One step at a time, comrade.  One step at a time.

Oh, and by the way.  Mums the word.



WorldNetDaily Article

Why don't we turn profit oriented busty, blond  and bright conservative author and highly opinionated talk show guest into food for the staving masses?
Surely Comrade AC would be willing to give?
Why....it should be demanded!
I denounce myself for not thinking of this sooner!

This Cash for clunkers will run out of money just like the car version soon enough. Then will you're Planned Grandparenthood Centers be? Under the capitalistic way we could have easily given better incentives and make a profit while at it. Promoting that just like children, these individuals cost money continuously to individual families. So then we would be in a position to charge them money to take the old coot making the customer feel they are saving money in the long run by doing this. And instead of just removing them from society, we could put them to work at the oil rigs or better yet, car manufacturing plants thus saving on union employees thus saving more cash. Sweet, sweet, cash....

Obama's Office of Civil Rights or Cash for Crackers.

Does this means Soylent Green will be the next big government project?

--
ZB

Oregon health care in action:

- http://www.katu.com/news/26119539.html?video=YHI&t=a

STOP!  Before the cash runs out, here's a clunker I want to turn in:

Is it possible to purchase old clunkers for disposable farm help?

Our glorious leader has come up with another great idea!   I'm headed to nearest Planned Grandparenthood location!  I've packed my 85 year old, Бабушка into my Yugo and I'm on my way!

Your Chance To Vote On Obama's Performance on Economy-AT&T/Yahoo Poll

- http://js.polls.yahoo.com/quiz/quiziframe.php?poll_id=46067

Vote, then pass it on.

A sign Hollywood is turning on their blessed Messiah?
Notice the exceptional use of color, the inability to stay within the lines established by society and the flagrant use of letters organized to make a statement.

(Psssstttt...anybody know where I could get some wallets size, yard size and some giganticuss size posters of the Joker.....Uhm Obama?   I own a gun range and we are running out of targets)

"RENEW!  RENEW!"

Now here is a beautiful sound.  The beautiful sound of sacrifice for the collective.

THIS is the way the world ends
not with a bang but a whimper

Maybe barry hussein and his cohorts will use the old folks for something good...like soylent green

ROFL - red, that was priceless

Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green Day!

"Soylent Green is people."
"Soylent Green is OLD people."

I just made another picture for it and a separate Blog post -

Obama Illustrates Healthcare Reform by Peeing in the Pool

Was there a point to that or is that Obama's ace mechanic team on a training drill?

There's even a new government web site.  No doubt it cost at least $18 million to develop

- http://www.cradlesforcodgers.com

Excellent website. I wonder to what extent it was inspired by the People's Cube if any. Not that great minds can't think alike and all that... After all, we all think with one big collective mind and no one is smarter and slower than the other, but some are just lucky I guess.

txjohn, that's almost as good a blog as the TOTUS blog.
(and TOTUS, if you read this, no offense, man.  please don't tell the big guy)

...and some are more luckier than others...

Far be it from El Presidente to question "the point" of anything Lord Obama does.  I just accept his policies, as I know that "Napolea.....er.....Obama is always right."


Destroying good cars in the name of the public good.....nicccceeee

Michelle Malkin linked to this thread today - thanks! Her thread has some great comments.

Actually, the Old People go into Soylent Gray, not Soylent Green.

I deeply appreciated this comment on Malkin...

On August 5th, 2009 at 11:06 am, theporch said:

Because I care- I sent the link to “Peoples Cube” to the flag site. Hope they enjoy it as much as I did.

Har Har Har




I say we gather all the joker portraits together.

Here's mine:



and The One himself

Hmm.  Me thinks it's about time Granny join up with Jerry Garcia (again.) 1970 all over again.

But what of other 70's greats?
Peter?
Paul?
Mary?
Tom and Dick Smothers?
David Bowie?
Don Knotts?
Disneyland?
and the ever popular, yet seldom noticed, Paul Williams?

Is Michelle Malkin a CUTIE or what??!!

What's "the flag site"? I thought we were the one - also known as the Mother of all Websites and the Red Banner site. But "the flag site"? What's that?

Darn it! I've only got one grandparent to trade it, so I will not have more rations in my governmentcare then another equal comrade.

Hey AbecedariusRex, you missed one! That's what I'd say if I didn't just make this one.

I think the person is referring to flag@whitehouse.gov, the e-mail address for turning in comrades who are spreading "fishy" stuff about Obamacare.

You are so busted now.

Obamafish.  Isn't that a song by John Lennon?  oops.  sorry, it's U2 and it's "womanfish" - but Obamafish might work too.

hehehe.  I knew it had to be somewhere out there on the net.  Something is fishy and needs to be reported.



From Figaro Speech.

Greetings, Comrades,

This is wonderful, Uncle Joe will be very proud. Neighbor against neighbor - those who read my book will prevail.

Are the gulags ready yet?

Commisar Elliot.  Please never do that again.....That picture was one of the worst things I have ever seen.

Abe, is that a largemouth ass?

OK, fellow travelors.

I am new to The Cube and this site quickly became mt personal favorite.  My first night I ordered this t-shirt.....

I have worn this shirt two times and have now been stopped two times and asked where I got it.  I directed them to The People"s Cube, unintendedly encouraging them to participate in the capitalist system.....Sorry.  El Presidente wore it tonight to a "town hall" for The People's Republic of Texas Congressman Gene Green where his support for our Lord Obama's health care was overwhelmingly rejected by the collective in the room.  One of "the people's" stopped their car afterwords to ask where I got the shirt.

The shirt even got some brief air-time on TV.  Congrats, Cubers......the message is getting out.

El Presidente THANKS YOU for the forum!!!

Here is something quite similar from Attack Cartoons.

http://attackcartoons.com/article.php?story=20090803025048983

I guess great minds do think alike.

El Presidente,
So you wouldn't like it if I put a picture up showing. . . um . . .well, I'd love to tell you, but I've been trying to erase this image from my head for the past two months now, so I'll let you read it for your eyes only .
http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?p=66892#66892

You'll wonder why my mind has been scrambled for the past two months.

Smells "Fishy" to me!

Geo Washington crossing the Delaware:  Hurry men! We only rented the boat for an hour!"

Excellent cartoon, Navigator! Did you make it yourself? I'd put the quote about the rental boat inside the image too, and maybe something about the astroturfing too.

Shirley you jest?
Are not compliments frowned on?
You lost me on the astroturfing....Something to do with Kim Jong Ill?

I'll get right on it.

Are you enjoying the destruction of America?
The irony of your history  and your website is not lost on me.

Nav

Awaiting Astroturf instructions.  

I actually think the guy in the back of the boat is eyeing old Georgie porgie and thinking "Hm.  That man is standing up in a boat when all others are sitting down.  He is a non conformist and must think himself taller and more special than others.  I should report this."

Navigator:


You are hereby named recipient of Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award, for excellence in illustrated revisionist history.  

Your mother will receive a "My Child is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube" bumper sticker in approximately 6-8 months--or as soon as Congress votes for more funding to make more bumper stickers, whichever comes later.

Can I trade in other people's clunkers for cash? I got a nursing home racket in Northern Virginia and I would like to cut back on some of the overhead cost if you know what I mean.

Welcome back Chairman!  Hail Meow!

We thought we already had flagging covered for The Party™...

Thanks!  Actually it was inspired by a conversation I had with some like minded colleagues at work.   I love the People's Cube though.  I think the only way to survive this next 4 years is with a little satirical comedy, and this site is perfect!

Clunking Around America Comrades,

WE ARE WINNING OUR FIGHT FOR NATIONAL HEALTHCARE...

Is this the same nurse or what?

No Truer words were ever spoken by a vice president and Gaff Czar Biden:  "Mark my words...."

Nice work, Navigator! Was that you singing too?

Yes, that was me singing, my vocal cords do amazing things when  plagiarizing other people's work.
I think that's why Obama sounds so good when he speaks.  He's stealing other people's work too!
I'm looking forward to my internment camp vacation.  You?  When they come to get you, request a camp out West.  No smog, you can drink out of the creeks, and live off the land during your escape attempts.
Ah....looks like the good ole days of fighting tyranny are here again!

Got this in the mail...

Excellent comrade!  Let us support our Dear Leader by getting paid off volunteeringto fight the fight for Healthcare!


Let us use Alinsky tactics and "get in their faces" like Dear Leader suggests...

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/ezra-klein/2009/07/the_lefts_surprising_organizin.html




Onward COMRADES!!!

80% against out of 2,000,000 plus votes!!!

We're in trouble comrades!

Vote NOW!!!

Red Rooster,
You will let us know when the cock (Obama Supporters) crow three times (Deny Obamacare) , won't you?

Somehow we must get a handle on what the people really think.control what the people really think.

As the beer summit was so successful, should it not be included in our constitution that beer and whiskey is a right for all to be enjoyed?
Imagine how much easier it would be to report the facts produce positive polls of real substance!

Yes comrade it's a travesty.  I was HOPE-ing more Comrades would vote for CHANGE NOW!!!  Yet all we have is astroturf to show for our efforts, because not enough sheep people are falling in line.

We need more beer summits, I agree, I got it! er, I mean, collectively we have surmised...

We should have National Beer Summit Day for Healthcare™.  Maybe that would work as good as the rock bands we got to play before Obama spoke on the campaign trail last year.

Drink up!  A round of vodka for everyone!



Hurry! Drink up before the Commissar returns!

This fishy rumor was sent to us in an email, but it's also making rounds on the Internet:



Should we report it to Flag@whitehouse.gov?

There is a shortage of proctologists in Texas; if they move to Washington they don't have to do a psychiatry residency.

Those proctologists, do they have Peoples Certificates™ to practice wherever they like?  I hear new rules are being applied in which proctology shall take a back seat to CheTex™ products.

There is a special dispensation for proctology. It is commonly thought that TOTUS runs the show, but in truth His O'liness is run by Nansky Peloski's arm up his ass.

But what if the Old People™ use Grecian formula?

In this green world, the only proper Soylent is Soylent Green. Not gray, not black, not white, not brown, not yellow, but green.

So hath decreed Al Gore, the High Priest of the First Church of Climatology and foot masseur to Gaia.

A bit of Interweb folklore:

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMACARE:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter
the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a
day.."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill
last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not
a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMACARE:

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.

Citizen Jack Deeney of Danbury, CT has sent us his version of Jonathan Swift's "Modest Proposal," which he wrote before he even saw our "Cash For Clunkers" advertisement. But once he saw it, he felt obliged to share. It's published on his blog here. Worth the read.

Jonathan Swift was an awful man. Doesn't he know that sarcasm is dangerous? Sarcasm can point out the idiocies of people and satire? Satirists ought to be shot. I personally am never sarcastic or ironic; I look at everything full on and take it seriously.

I have to. I adore Dear O'Leader and Nansky and our Many Titted Empress. If I were sarcastic I'd make, er, cracks about them.

An appropriate honest-to-the-One story came in the mail today:

========================================
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.
"Hello?"
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory.  When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.  Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV.  We can't tell which is which."  
"That's dreadful!  Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."
''Well, what am I supposed to do now? "
"The folks at Obama health care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.  If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Stop these jokes Comrade Red Square! I think I'm going to loose a lung if they keep up.

I DENOUNCE KONSERVATIVE KANADIANS!!!



SOURCE: http://www.clangmann.net/?cat=14