In order to facilitate the White House noble efforts to shut up the critics of Obama's progressive reforms, our Visual Agitation Subdivision of Propaganda Directorate made this modest collection of posters. The masses are encouraged to contribute. Defeat the anti-revolutionary kulaks!
~
5 Steps to a better national-socialist health care:
• beat up the opposition
• call the other side fascists
• whip up hysteria
• criminalize difference of opinion
• report dissenters to flag@whitehouse.gov
With all of the new artwork exhibited here at the Cube (like those of Comrade Red Rooster), including the above posters, I feel as if I have attended a most glorious People's Exhibition of the finest art in all of Progdom.
With all of the new artwork exhibited here at the Cube (like those of Comrade Red Rooster), including the above posters, I feel as if I have attended a most glorious People's Exhibition of the finest art in all of Progdom.
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
LOL. I was thinking about doing that, but (coward that I am) I opted instead to "sign up for our newsletter" with all the congress-comrades via their websites (a state a day). Fishy Citizen, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, flag@whitehouse.gov. Oh the good times they'll be having at the Thought Crime Department of Disinformation reading Nancy Pelosi's newsletter.
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
Did you denounce yourself like we do it on the Cube and present a list of trumped-up charges against self? Perhaps you could share best practices with other comrades. If not, we can come up with a form letter of self-denunciation.
E.g., "I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
what does the headline in the USSR vs. Hitler poster say? Just curious.
The title on the paper says "Non-Aggression Pact between the USSR and Germany"
The original meaning of this poster is this:
Hitler has lost his smiling mask when he stuck his head through the paper and caught Stalin by surprise. Alas, Stalin was too nice a man to expect that anything bad could come from a man wearing a smiling mask. How could he have known? Hitler had always acted like such a decent gentleman before... Absolutely no one saw it coming. But the heroic Red Army quickly stuck a bayonet into the beast's cranium.
The reality, of course, was quite the opposite, with the exception that Hitler did attack first - which I believe was a preemptive move because Stalin would have attacked him in a couple of weeks himself anyway. Opening a second front was not as much a miscalculation on Hitler's part as an act of desperation. If anyone is familiar with the books of the GRU defector Victor Suvorov, he proves this theory quite convincingly.
E.g., "I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
5 Steps to a better national-socialist health care:
• beat up the opposition
• call the other side fascists
• whip up hysteria
• criminalize difference of opinion
• report dissenters to flag@whitehouse.gov
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
(off)
As long as you didn't rat us, the Cube out, but if you did, it would be a great time to take the site underground and broadcast a pirate signal across the Information Super Highway.
I'd have to flee to safer grounds, at least out of Minnesota, where Moonbats fly like mosquitos.
I propose this thread is more equal than others. As Commissar of Seafood Inspection, it is important to send any edible seafood, or enclosed checks or money, to me for dispositon. Thank you.
"I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
6. I want to save the planet, but don't want to give up bottled water.
7. My Current Partner and I looked at foreign cars when shopping in our '08 SUV Clunker. We suspect the government can't make good cars. But, thanks for The People's Cash!
I denounce comrade Red Rooster for falsifying information! I didn't loose my Tin-foil hat. I simply took it off for one minute, working a Party issued microwave can interfere with Laika's signals while I'm trying to cook something.
Good to be back, Red Rooster. I'm on break from re-education classes until week after next. I was an intern this summer for the chamber. I used my time to collect intelligence on what small business owners are doing to survive. No one suspected a thing. In fact, a capitalist land owner hired me part time to write and publish a newsletter. I changed my profile from "student" to "worker." It certainly feels strange to be employed.
I propose this thread is more equal than others. As Commissar of Seafood Inspection, it is important to send any edible seafood, or enclosed checks or money, to me for dispositon. Thank you.
Dear General!!!!
Given your lofty position as Commissar of Seafood Inspection. One would expect that you would show up on a thread involving fishy talk! It is an honor to have your presence and I present this most equal gift to you.
I would never stoop to stereotyping!! I even think those jackbooted, trailer trash, gun loving, bible clinging, un-educated dolts that are protesting and holding up our Glorious leaders health care plan are above that. As far as the Japanese Chef, how about we share a little 'nip' first and maybe reconsider the denouncement?
"I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
6. I want to save the planet, but don't want to give up bottled water.
7. My Current Partner and I looked at foreign cars when shopping in our '08 SUV Clunker. We suspect the government can't make good cars. But, thanks for The People's Cash!
8. As all progs do, I believe all persons are equal except some are more equal than others. I believed I was one of the more equal even though my name is not Obama and I am not a member of Congress.
9. During one of Obama's prime time press conferences, I failed to hang on his every word but instead switched channels and watched what was on the Fox Network.
10. I once had a fleeting thought about Ann Coulter being cute and for that instant failed to be replused by her despicable hateful Neo-Nazi ideology.
11. When the insurrections first began, I told my spousal unit that Tea Party protestors tea-baggers had a right to their own opinion.
I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
6. I want to save the planet, but don't want to give up bottled water.
7. My Current Partner and I looked at foreign cars when shopping in our '08 SUV Clunker. We suspect the government can't make good cars. But, thanks for The People's Cash!
8. As all progs do, I believe all persons are equal except some are more equal than others. I believed I was one of the more equal even though my name is not Obama and I am not a member of Congress.
9. During one of Obama's prime time press conferences, I failed to hang on his every word but instead switched channels and watched what was on the Fox Network.
10. I once had a fleeting thought about Ann Coulter being cute and for that instant failed to be replused by her despicable hateful Neo-Nazi ideology.
11. When the insurrections first began, I told my spousal unit that Tea Party protestors tea-baggers had a right to their own opinion.
12. I briefly toyed with the idea of Intelligent Design after listening to my Christian neighbor rant that life begins at conception. (My next email to the WH will contain the culprit's name and address.)
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
Here is the text of my email to our beloved leader.
"I am turning myself in. I, too, like most others in this country am against the President's policies on Health Care reform. As a result of my opposition I beleive it is necessary for me to turn myself in. Last night, at a town hall, I also witnessed many others that were voicing their displeasure with the President's policies. I tried to retreive their names so I could turn those over to you as well but was unable to do so. The numbers against the President's polcies are too significant to obtain all needed information to report their abuses against the state. But, I will continue to provide you with more info as it is obtained."
Sincerely, El Presidente (Used my birth name in email).....a concerned "people's" citizen.
While working on the list of all despicable and counterrevolutionary individuals living in my neighborhood --- the ones that cannot let go and cease to smear our Dear Leader and his progressive Health Plan --- to submit the list of their vile names to the address that the Leader has thankfully and finally provided – I was attacked by a well dressed, masked mob (how did they gain entry into my house? no search warrant, nothing!) of… fascists, I suppose. They spoke German, I think, though I do not speak German and would never lower myself to learn it. Or maybe they were Poles? This well known reactionary and uncontrollable element.
Anyway, they drugged me and when I came up to, I couldn’t help but notice that my hands were painted red, most likely dipped in a can of red paint.
Therefore, since the situation seems to be getting out of hand, I must denounce EVERYBODY (with the exception of the Most Trusted Comrades here, to be sure) including my wife and children and my mother and father and all neighbors in the radius of at least 500 miles.
Here is my humble submission to Our Great Leader's flaggin' efforts. Golly gee, I sure hope it helps.
"I find it FISHY that Congressional representatives are using SEIU members for town hall crowd control instead of local police. SEIU members have used physical intimidation and force in their efforts. In at least one instance, they were allowed into the meetings before other constituents. What gives them authority over other citizens, ESPECIALLY use of force - in one case, ramming people back into a hallway, shoving them against the wall and ripping one man's shirt? I saw the footage in numerous videos on YouTube. You might want to check it out."
I, [NAVIGATOR], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
6. I want to save the planet, but don't want to give up bottled water.
7. My Current Partner and I looked at foreign cars when shopping in our '08 SUV Clunker. We suspect the government can't make good cars. But, thanks for The People's Cash!
8. As all progs do, I believe all persons are equal except some are more equal than others. I believed I was one of the more equal even though my name is not Obama and I am not a member of Congress.
9. During one of Obama's prime time press conferences, I failed to hang on his every word but instead switched channels and watched what was on the Fox Network.
10. I once had a fleeting thought about Ann Coulter being cute and for that instant failed to be replused by her despicable hateful Neo-Nazi ideology.
11. When the insurrections first began, I told my spousal unit that Tea Party protestors tea-baggers had a right to their own opinion.
12. I briefly toyed with the idea of Intelligent Design after listening to my Christian neighbor rant that life begins at conception. (My next email to the WH will contain the culprit's name and address.)
and so on... add you points, comrades!
13. No Obama bumper sticker adorns my gas guzzling politically incorrect work vehicle.
I, [NAVIGATOR], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
5. As all progs I believe government run Health Care is good for the common good, but I actually thought about attending a Tea Party and a Rally Against Government Health Care, I actually thought about the points of the opposition and whether we were getting all the facts from the White House.
6. I want to save the planet, but don't want to give up bottled water.
7. My Current Partner and I looked at foreign cars when shopping in our '08 SUV Clunker. We suspect the government can't make good cars. But, thanks for The People's Cash!
8. As all progs do, I believe all persons are equal except some are more equal than others. I believed I was one of the more equal even though my name is not Obama and I am not a member of Congress.
9. During one of Obama's prime time press conferences, I failed to hang on his every word but instead switched channels and watched what was on the Fox Network.
10. I once had a fleeting thought about Ann Coulter being cute and for that instant failed to be replused by her despicable hateful Neo-Nazi ideology.
11. When the insurrections first began, I told my spousal unit that Tea Party protestors tea-baggers had a right to their own opinion.
12. I briefly toyed with the idea of Intelligent Design after listening to my Christian neighbor rant that life begins at conception. (My next email to the WH will contain the culprit's name and address.)
and so on... add you points, comrades!
13. No Obama bumper sticker adorns my gas guzzling politically incorrect work vehicle.
14. I love my 3 and 1.5 yr-old carbon credits, as well as the 3 other carbon credits spousal unit and I miscarried fortunately-for-the-planet-died (Whew! Those were close ones! Think of all the emissions!!!) My apologies for procreating 5 times and my most groveling, guilt-ridden, selfish apologies for still wanting more of said methane-emitting, air-breathing, water-using, food-eating parasites and environment-destroyers. Will report immediately for re-edukation on how to repair my carbon legacy and make sufficient compact-lightbulb reparations to the non-god of Green.
OBAMA: 'I don't want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I want them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess'..."
That's right! You tell them Dear Leader, because it's all about BIPARTISANSHIP™....
Here is another way our dear leader could have put it. Lord Obama needs to stop being so politically correct and just say what's on his brilliant articulate mind.
I'll be infiltrating the Teabagger March in Washington next month. I hope to gather many names. My goal is to fill as many train cattle cars as The Ministry of Transportation can supply with these dissenters.
In the event that we do not have the transportation available, may I suggest to The Party that we shoot the old, well-dressed dissenters, and only ship the young and fit for reeducation to camp 21? I believe Colonel 7.62 can gather the necessary ammunition and men for the job.
This action, though some may consider it extreme, would also help reduce the expenses of providing health care for these ungrateful leeches, since they will be too old for re-education. Also, because of their feeble condition, their beet ration vs. labor output ratio would prove uneconomical for the Ministry of Correct Obama Thought™.
I am awaiting instruction!
I'll be infiltrating the Teabagger March in Washington next month. I hope to gather many names. My goal is to fill as many train cattle cars as The Ministry of Transportation can supply with these dissenters.
You are doing this Revolucion proud, Mortgages.
Your dedication to the cause brings a tear to El Preisdente's eye.
OBAMA: 'I don't want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I want them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess'..."
Red Rooster,
Clearly you missed my message.
Is it not obvious that Those Damn'd Tea Baggers and Town Hallers haven't gotten the message?
They need to STFU!...hence my message of love and compassion above: What We've Got IS A Failure To Communicate!
Thank you for your approval and encouragement. To offset the cost of their transportation, we'll be confiscating everything they possess. Please send me a list of anything you, your family, and mistresses would like. If it is clothing, I will need their sizes. Also, for clothing for the senior citizens in your family, I will have to coordinate with Colonel 7.62 to ensure the clothing isn't damaged should the PartyTM approve of my suggested action. Rest assured, I'll do my best to locate the items you request in the Peoples' BootyTM.
Thank you for your approval and encouragement. To offset the cost of their transportation, we'll be confiscating everything they possess. Please send me a list of anything you, your family, and mistresses would like. If it is clothing, I will need their sizes. Also, for clothing for the senior citizens in your family, I will have to coordinate with Colonel 7.62 to ensure the clothing isn't damaged should the PartyTM approve of my suggested action. Rest assured, I'll do my best to locate the items you request in the Peoples' BootyTM.
In Socialist Solidarity!
If you find some undergarments approaching the color of white...we would be most appreciative.
A bottle or two of The People's Water is all we have for payment.
Comrades, yet another blow for the ironic collective!
I burst with gloriously undulant swellings of prideful mirth when I read this sort of article:
"There's also a statute that requires the White House to retain all communications that it receives. It can't try to rewrite history by pretending it didn't receive anything," he said.
"If the White House deletes anything, it violates one statute. If the White House collects data on the free speech, it violates another statute."
So The One and his household are screwed if they keep their messages and screwed if they delete/destroy them. Now would be the time, comrades, to report something fishy and get The One's glorious tit further caught in a glorious ringer!!!!!!!!!
The ACLU said in a statement to FOXNews.com that the White House blog is a "bad idea that could send a troublesome message."
But the organization added, "While it is unclear at this point what the government is doing with the information it is collecting, critics of the administration's health care proposal should not fear that their names will end up in some government database that could be used to chill their right to free speech."
Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here.
Comrade Mortgages, if I am going to be redistributing life force of various non progressive dissenters, I require proper orders signed by either Marshal Pupovich, General Mousey-Tongue, Red Square, or similar, in triplicate, along with form 550-RPM-50BMG signed in blue ink only, plus a non refundable deposit in an amount to be determined by me after services are rendered. Also we will need pie.
Comrades, yet another blow for the ironic collective!
I burst with gloriously undulant swellings of prideful mirth when I read this sort of article:
"There's also a statute that requires the White House to retain all communications that it receives. It can't try to rewrite history by pretending it didn't receive anything," he said.
"If the White House deletes anything, it violates one statute. If the White House collects data on the free speech, it violates another statute."
So The One and his household are screwed if they keep their messages and screwed if they delete/destroy them. Now would be the time, comrades, to report something fishy and get The One's glorious tit further caught in a glorious ringer!!!!!!!!!
Comrade,
The Great Leader fears not. He owns the Department of Justice. The Congress oversees the Department of Justice, and they, along with the Media, see nothing.
Furthermore, I must assume you have been drinking Prol Vodka this Saturday night. You make such slly allegations against our Great Leader. When you wake in the morning, you might consider a self critisism on this sight, or I may flag you to flag@whitehouse.gov, regardess of your Party stature. The Party will have the final say. If you confess to your drunkeness, I am sure you will be forgiven.
Comrade Mortgages, if I am going to be redistributing life force of various non progressive dissenters, I require proper orders signed by either Marshal Pupovich, General Mousey-Tongue, Red Square, or similar, in triplicate, along with form 550-RPM-50BMG signed in blue ink only, plus a non refundable deposit in an amount to be determined by me after services are rendered. Also we will need pie.
Comrade Colonel 7.62,
Forgive me Comrade if my post was not clear. I would never presume to speak for The PartyTM. If The PartyTM leaders agree with my course of action, I assume you will hear from them before me. If they agree, I am sure the well dressed reactionaries will have enough cash, Rolex watches, etc., to make it worth your while.
Please remeber El Presidente's needs.
Also, I'll send a photo of myself before the action. I'll also dress like a prole so there are no mistakes with who you and your men are dealing with.
I don't even know what THAT is, but it has a nice round O that stands for something...
Hrrmmmm..... maybe we should talk to a Post-Modern Deconstructionist.
Ahhhh... there he is... now then, tell us about O's....
Professor O: "O...k. well the O is a thing with a middle and sides, in our deconstructionist rendering there is light through the tunnel."
"Here is the side view of our work...."
"....and here is from whence our inspiration comes."
Hrrmmmm, here is a bit of information we pulled from the ether of it.....
Quote
the very existence of black holes is in question, we can’t be 100% sure that Einstein’s theory should necessary work for this much mass gathered in such small volumes, the theory certainly has its limitations and it may well be that for such case scenarios with such gigantic densities of matter it stops working. No one’s seen a blackhole per ce, scientists can only hazard guesses as regards blackholes...
I sent an email to Bog Brother Obama at the Whitehouse "flag" address turning myself in for opposition to the President's policies, I have yet to receive a response. I felt like it was the most honorable thing I could do.
Did you denounce yourself like we do it on the Cube and present a list of trumped-up charges against self? Perhaps you could share best practices with other comrades. If not, we can come up with a form letter of self-denunciation.
E.g., "I, [YOUR NAME HERE], denounce myself for being a thoughtcriminal and surrender into the hands of revolutionary justice. My crimes against the Party, the State, and its compassionate leadership are as follows:
1. In a private conversation with my spousal unit I expressed doubts about the appropriateness of a one-party rule.
2. At the time of this year's inauguration I hesitated to grovel at the feet of the Supreme Leader Obama.
3. I once argued with my TV screen when a newscaster suggested that the Constitution should be amended to say that the Democrat Party is the only guiding and propelling force of the American society.
4. As all progs I believe that high taxes are good for the common good, but when I filed my own taxes, I hired an overpriced accountant and told him to get as much return from the IRS as possible.
and so on... add you points, comrades!
GASP! Did you say "Democrat Party"?
I DENOUNCE COMRADE RED SQUARE !! Saying Democrat Party is a dead giveaway that the utterer of incorrect party phrase is in fact a revanchist running dog Capitarist roader. Comrades, we must exper him from our ranks!
The poriticarry correct phrase is DEMOCRATIC PARTY. Any true Progressive know this.
I terr my peopre here in the Peopre's Democratic Repubric of Korea that if I don't see the IC then I C U in the reeducation camp. It just that prain & simpre. Ah-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha!
How about a poster with a picture of somebody smoking with a caption like this.
SMOKERS A DRAIN ON OUR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. REPORT SMOKERS TO FLAG@WHITEHOUSE.GOV
Please submit this leech on our health care resources to flag@whitehouse.gov I am not sure who this enemy of the "People's" lungs is. The collective needs your assistance in identifying this abuser.
If any creative minds want to compose more letter templates (trying to think of a good Communist style letter in particular) please email me at icanhasbailout@icanhasTARP.com. You don't need to fit all the terms, I can work them in.
In the meantime, Comrade Bobushka has sent us this design:
We liked it so much that we posted it at the store as a bumper sticker. All proceeds will go to a charity called "Punchy Kids" where it will be mercilessly looted by Chairman Punchenko and spent on booze and hookers.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties
Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats
Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes
Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!
Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'
Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists
Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom
Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled
Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long
Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back
of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!
Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off
Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw Gotham villains working for the Common Good™
White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union LabelNational-socialist health care?
Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit
Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
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Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional
Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy
Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities
Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list
Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind visit our new Che Heart store
Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!
Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden
Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'
DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberryDow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents useDHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"
Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a 2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism Obama gives Queen a shovel click here NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'
click here for the story Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans' After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes" Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it
Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing
Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush' Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.' More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20 Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK. Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers Somali pirates hijack international space station Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!" Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers" CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide
Seven Obama cousins found living in voting boothUS choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check! Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word
FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan' Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you' Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail' Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crashDead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN Biden calls taxes patriotic Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter" Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine" Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so." Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it. Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb? Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint
Word of the day: HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to HusseinObama: we have always been at peace with Hillary ClintonGrand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans? CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problemHillary supporters organize against Obama Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
