Angry Muslims Protest Bush-Hitler Comparisons

Muslim protests erupted worldwide this week after a high school teacher in Colorado compared Bush to Hitler. "It is a crime in Sharia law to insult Hitler (PBUH)!" stated Abdul Ali Aziz in a Muslim street interview. "We have been listening to this kind of blasphemy from the Left ever since the Zionist puppet Bush got elected. The infidel teacher must be tortured and beheaded!"

Rage against the besmirching of Adolf Hitler's name poured out across the Muslim world on Saturday, with aggrieved believers calling for the execution of those involved, storming buildings, and setting European and American flags afire.

Saddam Hussein: "Without Hitler there would've been be no Ba'ath Party!" Mahmoud Amadinejad: "This is a planned effort by the USA and Israel to disrupt my World Holocaust Conference!" Jay Bennish: "Come on, guys! I thought it's all about love, peace, and flower power. Need we fight over little things? Can't you just worship Hitler quietly? I thought that was the deal." Angry Muslims : "No deal!"

The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem Hajj Amin Al Husseini (1895-1974) encouraged Hitler to extend the "Final Solution" to the Jews of North Africa and Palestine. The Grand Mufti inspects Moslem SS units

A leader of Hamas, the Islamic militant group that recently swept Palestinian parliamentary elections, told CNN that the Hitler comparison was an "unforgivable insult to Islam" that should be punished by death. "The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, the founder of our modern Palestinian movement, was best friends with the Prophet Adolf (PBUH). They used to dine, eat crumpets, and drink tea together at the Berghoff. The Grand Mufti had a radio show for Hitler (PBUH) and raised a legion of Waffen SS for him and now this latest insult! Allah is my witness, those Danish cartoons now look funny in comparison!"

"We should have killed all those who offend Hitler and instead here we are, protesting peacefully," Hamas top leader said as he emptied a few rounds of his AK-47 skyward in an excited and agitated state.

"Insulting Hitler means insulting every Muslim," blared a loudspeaker car accompanying some 400 demonstrators who marched to the European Commission building in Gaza. "We will redeem Hitler with our blood,' they chanted.

Meanwhile in the Baghdad court house, Saddam Hussein screamed at his judge, "You see, your Honor, this is what I've been talking about. All good Muslims know what a good friend Hitler was to Iraq. Without Hitler there would have been no Ba'ath party and no Iraq! It's not I who must be on trial - but Bennish, Churchill, and all those rotten infidels going around with 'Chimpy Bushitler' on their lips!"

Code Pink: "It would be a shame if such wonderful artwork goes to waste."

The Bush-Hitler comparisons, started by US peace activists at progressive rallies, websites, and numerous fiery speeches, and later repeated elsewhere in Europe, have touched a raw nerve, in part because Islamic law is interpreted to forbid any comparisons of Hitler to a living mortal. Aggravating the affront was the latest comment made by a Colorado teacher Jay Bennish in class, replayed many times over by right-wing talk show radio hosts. CNN and some other networks have chosen not to repeat teacher Bennish's words out of respect for Hitler and Islam.

Angry Left groups Code Pink, International ANSWER and United For Peace and Justice have apologized and called for a reasonable dialogue with the Angry Muslims. "I can understand that religious feelings of Muslims have been injured and violated," a UPJ spokesman said at an international planning conference, "but I also regret the split between our communities. The Angry Muslims and the Angry Left are a match made in heaven - need we fight over little things? Can't they worship Hitler less conspicuously? We all thought that was the deal. If they force us to give up comparing Bush to Hitler we may lose a major talking point in our noble fight against American capitalism."

"We just printed thousands of Bush-Hitler posters and T-shirts for the mid-March rally at the White House in Washington," a Code Pink activist added. "It would be a shame if all this wonderful artwork goes to waste."

But incensed faithful in some parts of the Muslim world had no use for such words.

"It is a crying shame the 16-year-old Sean Allen did not strap high explosives to his body and blew up his teacher and his class," said a despondent Yale student and former Taliban spokesman who refused to give his name for fear of repercussions in the United States. "They are forever corrupted for having to listen to this teacher make such statements, it is better if they were all dead. I know if I was the boy's father I would've made him become a martyr instead of having him tape-record it so the whole world could be blasphemed!" he added. "There's no turning back now, it's total jihad!"

Throughout mosques everywhere Muslim clerics have declared a fatwa against Bennish and Churchill. "This latest Western blasphemy is blatant disregard for Islamic sensitivities over the disparaging of Hitler's name, which is particularly insulting and forbidden by Islam," said one cleric. "This makes Salman Rushdie look like an Al Qaeda operative."

An irate Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stated, "This is a planned effort by the USA and Israel to disrupt my World Holocaust Conference! You can bet your Arabian horse the Jew put the infidel Bennish up to this crime against Islam and the Prophet Adolf (PBUH). Some crazy people think I want to go to Auschwitz to get the specifications and a good feel for the place, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Everyone knows the Prophet Adolf (PBUH) was a kind person and a vegetarian. Vegetarians would not hurt a flea let alone kill 6 million Jew devils."

The United Nations, Arab states, and Hillary Clinton have called for restraint and talks to ease tensions over Bush-Hitler comparisons. "We acknowledge that Muslims do indeed feel deep hurt over this, especially considering the history of Muslim Waffen SS," said a joint statement, issued after a meeting in Qatar attended by UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. "But we must also respect the needs of progressive socialists for whom invoking Hitler's name is the only available way to solve world's problems. We must acknowledge our common roots and work from there."

"God Bless Hitler" read one sign a Muslim woman was carrying at another protest. When asked what that meant, the woman replied, "Adolf Hitler was the true messiah and the West crucified him! He had the Final Solution to world peace and the infidels rose against him - but not in the Islamic world! He was our guiding light and good friend. He loved children and puppies. How can people like Ward Churchill and Jay Bennish say such things? Death is too good for them, it was better if they had never been born. This is what we have come to expect from the academia in the United States. It's no wonder Americans are the Great Satan of the planet." When asked to give her name for the record, she refused because she didn't have her husband's permission to leave the apartment.

In a further development the ACLU has refused to represent Bennish or Churchill in the massive class action suit brought against them by CAIR.

Poindexter Milquetoast, spokesperson for the ACLU, said in a prepared statement, "It's a classic open and shut case against them. What they did is hate speech, pure and simple. There is no defense possible in a lawsuit of this nature. Their asses are going to the hoosegow if a suicide bomber doesn't get their sorry butts first."

CAIR had a short and simple release to the press: "We have Bennish and Churchill's nuts in a legal vise, as small as they are, and we're going to twist them off."