I must insist that you stop stealing my material at once, otherwise you will face the full brunt of my team of lawyers. In case you forgot I was given permission to crack jokes about the Bush family in 1986 by Steve Martin in exchange for keeping certain pictures that were taken during his years of indiscretion. Sure I never used them when I spent years in the Norwich Comedy Club; sure I never got the chance to compare George Dubyah to an intestinal stomach parasite or even call his dad "Skeletor," but I retain the right to do so dammit!
I mean, you haven't heard some of my best material from the '70's and I was in my prime back then. Listen to this: "The Republicans want to screw the working man out of his money. The Democrats want to screw the working man." Hi - friggin' - larious! But now it's all ruined and you're to blame.
My carrier may have slown down but if you think you can renege on an oral contract - in both senses of the word - then feel free to do so, but remember that I will sue you and your banana republic into the ground! Hell, I won't even let the federales give you Frank Sinatra Jr. out of pity, you'll be completely on your own. Remember Noriega? Yeah, that was me.
Jay Leno... See? Because of you I can't even say my own name without feeling a sense of revulsion.
Text submitted by an anonymous comrade who prefers to remain an invisible mote in the vast collective
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