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15 DOs and DON'Ts of New Progressive Order

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How to comply with the new Progressive order and achieve a happier life while avoiding jail time:

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  • DO buy vehicles from GM, Ford and Chrysler because it helps our UAW friends the economy
  • DON'T drive them as they pollute the environment and cause global warming
  • DO insist that nationalized, single-payer government provided health insurance is the solution to our health-care crisis
  • DON'T mention that a government health care bureaucracy is just like a private insurer's healthcare bureaucracy except that with the former, you don't get another choice
  • DO condemn smoking in public and private venues because it is filthy and selfish and increases health care costs
  • DON'T stop buying tobacco products because the collective needs the tax revenue
  • DO despise elitist wealthy fat-cats like CEOs of Wal-Mart and other companies that do useful things
  • DON'T despise elitist wealthy fat-cats like the Sulzbergers, the Kennedys and the Hollywood celebrities who do useless things
  • DON'T fight terrorism with military action, treat it as a civilian police matter
  • DO hamper police investigations at every turn in the name of civil rights
  • DO denounce oil companies for their "excessive" profits whenever the world markets drive the price of oil up
  • DON'T allow them to drill for oil in the US or do anything else that might reduce these prices
  • DO rail against the loss of American factory jobs to China, India et al
  • DON'T stop increasing the environmental, labor and other regulations that make it impossible to open any kind of factory in this country
  • DO demand fairness in hiring, lending, college admissions and other circumstances
  • DON'T mention that the dictionary definition of fairness bears little resemblance to the political concept
  • DO despise war and demonstrate constantly for peace, violently if need be
  • DON'T hide your glee when the US or one of its allies, like Israel, is losing
  • DO require bi-partisanship in government and that the rights of the minority party be respected
  • DON'T make us laugh when we're in the majority
  • DO politicize science by bullying and cajoling everyone into beliving the AGW myth
  • DON'T fail to accuse real scientists (who have facts to disprove the myth) of politicizing science
  • DO holler about the need for more government programs to help the poor
  • DON'T notice how much these programs actually benefit politically-connected hacks and crooks who are not poor
  • DO continuously harp on the main vice of capitalism, the unequal distribution of its benefits
  • DON'T ever mention the only virtue of socialism, the equal sharing of its miseries
  • DO emphasize the Progressive commitment to preserve individual choice when it comes to aborting a pregnancy
  • DON'T emphasize the Progressive commitment to prevent individual choice when it comes to everything else
  • NEVER even think about the fact that on the Progressive farm, some animals are more equal than others

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Opiate wrote:DON'T mention that the dictionary definition of fairness bears little resemblance to the political concept
Ah, Opiate, you forget that a major part of this site is the Current Truth. Which means of course that a dictionary is fossilized. The old Soviet Encyclopedia would send out revisions--new pages with people air-brushed out--and a razor blade for the excision. With electronics it's so much easier.

I've got it! We ought to designate certain words Important Words and then give them a date. For example, <i>Fairness(-30) would be the idea of fairness in 1979. Year 0 is of course the year of the establishment of the O'ly See in Washington with his O'liness on the Throne of Leningrad. That would be nearer to the (discredited) dictionary definition of fairness.

But Fairness(-5) would be more like the fairness of today. Where what is fair is what is thought to be fair by those who are correct, meaning that their word is the Current Truth.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Opiate wrote:DON'T mention that the dictionary definition of fairness bears little resemblance to the political concept
Ah, Opiate, you forget that a major part of this site is the Current Truth. Which means of course that a dictionary is fossilized. The old Soviet Encyclopedia would send out revisions--new pages with people air-brushed out--and a razor blade for the excision. With electronics it's so much easier.

I've got it! We ought to designate certain words Important Words and then give them a date. For example, <i>Fairness(-30) would be the idea of fairness in 1979. Year 0 is of course the year of the establishment of the O'ly See in Washington with his O'liness on the Throne of Leningrad. That would be nearer to the (discredited) dictionary definition of fairness.

But Fairness(-5) would be more like the fairness of today. Where what is fair is what is thought to be fair by those who are correct, meaning that their word is the Current Truth.

Ugh, another Thoughtcrime. If I commit three more, I have been threatened with being sent to Minnesota to help the Canvassing Board pull votes out of Al Franken's tookus (I get to be the one with the glove, if they allow me a glove.)

Yes, your proposal on date aging words is excellent (-6). Very Progressive (0) and much better (-30) than the cumbersome (-3) Orwellian constructs such as "double plus ungood". What's more, the school children will now learn math (-4) and vocabulary (-17) at the same time! I'll bet when Comrade Obama hears of this, he will reward you with several billion stimuli for your pet public works projects.

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Perhaps I can be made one of the Prime Proles of the O'ly See when he ascends the throne.

I wonder if Our Many Titted Empress was refused the nomination because she couldn't pass the chair test. I'm told that there was a woman in drag who was made Pope. While riding, she fell and went into labor. Since that time, I heard, each pope has to sit on a special chair with the family jewels hanging through a hole. A priest feels what's there, and if there's something there, says, "<i>Habet duos et pendentes bene</i>" Which is Latin for "He's got two, hanging well."

Which is where we get well hung.

Perhaps apocryphal, but I like it.

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A very interesting anecdote, indeed. One of the priests at the church I attended as a youth was found to be performing that very test on some of my fellow altar boys, sans the chair part. It did not occur to anyone that he was simply vetting them for a possible future papal candidacy; I wonder if it would have made a difference in the out-of-court settlement the church ended up paying.

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I am reminded of the First English Prayer Book which had as part of the litany to have people pray "for deliverance from the tyranny of the Bishop of Rome and all his detestable enormities".

Possibly it was his enormities hanging through the special chair with a hole? Detestable or not, no priest should be handling anyone's enormities, in my humble opinion.

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Compare what one must endure to qualify as Pope against the fact that Obama did not even have to show his birth certificate to become POTUS.

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As a matter of fact our comrades subjected comrade Obama to the chair test to make sure he would be the right man to f**k the middle class.

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Good post Opiate, I've got one for you though,

DO support the democrat party, because after all, when you vote democrat, everyone wins

DON'T support the Republicans because after all, they support freedom, and freedom is slavery (Though recent Congressmen prove otherwise).

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Opiate of the People wrote:A very interesting anecdote, indeed. One of the priests at the church I attended as a youth was found to be performing that very test on some of my fellow altar boys, sans the chair part. It did not occur to anyone that he was simply vetting them for a possible future papal candidacy; I wonder if it would have made a difference in the out-of-court settlement [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]the church ended up paying[/HIGHLIGHT].

Comrade Opiate,


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One of the reasons that I call the Cube home is that here, you can broach any topic without fear or censorship. Religion is a tough subject, because there are so many differing beliefs, but the church has had this particular problem for too long!

I do hate to correct you, but the "church" is not paying for these settlements, the church members, anyone who contributes to the collection plate, or regularly tithes a percentage of their income yearly, are the ones paying. This is the sad state of the church in these troubling times. When they should be leading the way in comforting and offering spiritual advise, they are asking for more money to pay victims of abuse by their priests!

Why? Because of archaic laws, thousands of years old, that say that a priest cannot marry.
One would think that it would be intelligent to change this ridiculous rule. But the church refuses to consider it. Why would they do this? My answer to this problem is to neuter the priests, therefore eliminating the temptations of the flesh, or in this case, the urge to molest our children! Thanks for letting me vent my obvious fury over this topic. I will STFU now.

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Opiate wrote: Obama did not even have to show his birth certificate to become POTUS.
Of course he didn't for there seem to be some Rethuglican-inspired irregularities in his birth certificate. Of course we could not show the sheets on which he was conceived for it was by definition an immaculate one. Which, if you follow the logic, means that God is black.

Che, neutering priests is not a bad idea. In fact why don't we neuter anything that we don't need for breeding stock?

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I know a priest about 200 miles away--a decent and honest fellow. We used to go out before, of course, he took the cloth. He told me that a lot of the priests are gay and do it with other priests; he said nothing about altar boys.

But what is more worrying is his journey. When he was studying at U of Dallas, he told me over luncheon how much he had come to appreciate western civilization: Aquinas AND Aristotle. He told a panhandler who approached us, saying he was a Vietnam veteran, that he appreciated his service but thought that he needed to take responsibility for his life.

But then he became radicalized. The last time we lunched he said that we ought to "understand" the Muslims. He's an old friend so I was gentle shoving things down his throat. He's the leader of a group of pacifist priests, and forwarded a statement by the odious Howard Zinn, the Jew who fled to America to make money trashing it, to a group of people and it so inflamed me that I blasted back to all, and got involved in a civilized discussion with a (very polite and very sick) monsignor, and a few others.

Some of these people talk only to themselves--pacifists all, but well mannered--and before I sent a final reply I forwarded it to a friend Katie, who is 24 years older. "Do you think you should kick the crutch out from under him? He needs it."

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(off)
It's sad to hear these stories about priests molesting children. They are suppose to preach God's Word, and God doesn't like out of marriage sex. In a sense, they are hypocrites.

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Hey Opiate!

I sent your Do's and Dont's to a very lib friend of mine. He laughed but I think they eventually bothered him and then very likely pissed him off. Because later he wrote his own that he wanted me to send to you (listed below).

Congrats for getting under his skin. He can be extremely teflon coated (like most libs) any criticism with proven facts of Obama or the other Dems will just slide right off.......

DO: block promising stem-cell research, because it destroys the soul contained in a clump of 150 cells in a petri dish.
DON'T: worry about the future of anyone who suffers spinal injuries, full body burns, parkinson's or dozens of other conditions that could potentially be remediated by this research, because god has a plan for them!

DO: teach intelligent design in science classes, because a "magic book" is just as good a reference as decades of evidence supporting natural selection.
DON'T: listen to distractors, because you are right no matter what the evidence shows. If the overwhelming evidence doesn't support your magic book, just throw out the evidence.

DO: try to destroy wilderness areas anywhere you can and subvert environmental protection laws, because the end times are here, so what does it matter?
DON'T: feel it necessary to be responsible about anything or anyone, because jesus is going to come out of the sky and forgive you for everything.

DO: give money to help curb the spread of HIV in Africa
DON'T: support any education in sexual health or supply condoms, because that is against god's will

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Che Gourmet wrote:
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One of the reasons that I call the Cube home is that here, you can broach any topic without fear or censorship. Religion is a tough subject, because there are so many differing beliefs, but the church has had this particular problem for too long!

I do hate to correct you, but the "church" is not paying for these settlements, the church members, anyone who contributes to the collection plate, or regularly tithes a percentage of their income yearly, are the ones paying. This is the sad state of the church in these troubling times. When they should be leading the way in comforting and offering spiritual advise, they are asking for more money to pay victims of abuse by their priests!

Why? Because of archaic laws, thousands of years old, that say that a priest cannot marry.
One would think that it would be intelligent to change this ridiculous rule. But the church refuses to consider it. Why would they do this? My answer to this problem is to neuter the priests, therefore eliminating the temptations of the flesh, or in this case, the urge to molest our children! Thanks for letting me vent my obvious fury over this topic. I will STFU now.

I am no longer a part of the church although I do think there is a Creator and a life beyond this place, for reasons that have nothing to do with religion. Anyway, if I were still part of the church I would personally have no problem with priests marrying (the church is very tradition-bound and therefore does) but I don't think that would totally solve the problem. As we all know, there are apparently happily married men who are still pedophiles and so marriage is not a cure or a preventative for pedophelia. John Wayne Gacy was molesting and murdering young men and burying them in his basement while his wife was upstairs without a clue to what was going on. Compulsory neutering of priests sounds attractive but realistically would probably only serve to suppress the number of candidates into this already declining profession. As with most other things, I really don't have the answer to preventing it. I would say the church needs to do a better job in dealing with it, starting with the way offenders are handled. In the past, they just shuffled the offender off to some other parish where he was free to resume what he was doing. In the case I cited (which really happened) the offense was brought to light about 25 yrs after the actual occurance and the priest in question was old enough that he was simply sent into retirement. This would not satisfy the people who wish to see some retribution but at least it was a better solution than simply to pass the problem on to someone else.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:Hey Opiate!

I sent your Do's and Dont's to a very lib friend of mine. He laughed but I think they eventually bothered him and then very likely pissed him off. Because later he wrote his own that he wanted me to send to you (listed below).

Congrats for getting under his skin. He can be extremely teflon coated (like most libs) any criticism with proven facts of Obama or the other Dems will just slide right off.......

DO: block promising stem-cell research, because it destroys the soul contained in a clump of 150 cells in a petri dish.
DON'T: worry about the future of anyone who suffers spinal injuries, full body burns, parkinson's or dozens of other conditions that could potentially be remediated by this research, because god has a plan for them!

DO: teach intelligent design in science classes, because a "magic book" is just as good a reference as decades of evidence supporting natural selection.
DON'T: listen to distractors, because you are right no matter what the evidence shows. If the overwhelming evidence doesn't support your magic book, just throw out the evidence.

DO: try to destroy wilderness areas anywhere you can and subvert environmental protection laws, because the end times are here, so what does it matter?
DON'T: feel it necessary to be responsible about anything or anyone, because jesus is going to come out of the sky and forgive you for everything.

DO: give money to help curb the spread of HIV in Africa
DON'T: support any education in sexual health or supply condoms, because that is against god's will

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Hmmm, well, I guess if any of this actually applied to me then it might get under my skin but it doesn't so it didn't. But seriously, my point was not to get under people's skin but to point out (what I consider) inconsistencies and hopefully, inspire thought. In return, your friend's rebuttal has inspired thought in me. As I mentioned on another post, I do think there is a Creator and a life beyond this place, but I don't believe that idea justifies anything we all feel like doing. I like the outdoors, I hike and kayak among other things, and I want to see those areas preserved. However, there are competing claims for areas and some compromise has to be made. Sen. Ted Kennedy is a perfect example of what I mean; putatively, he is in favor of wind power yet blocked the placement of windmills off shore of his home in Cape Cod because he felt they would spoil the view. He can't have it both ways; if he doesn't like the view, why does he want to make other people look at them near their homes? If it is so important to have wind power, doesn't this mean he and others need to compromise in this respect?

I don't have a problem with stem cell research as I think the soul is independent of the body. In point of fact, I don't listen to DISTRACTORS but I do listen to DETRACTORS if they can make a cogent argument and not just stand around yelling at me. I don't think I am right regardless of what the evidence is; if I did, I'd still be a liberal democrat, which I was in my 20s. I think Jesus will forgive us for everything but we will still have to own up in some way for the messes we make so it pays to be careful.

I agree that Intelligent Design is NOT science, as science depends on empirical method which is poorly equipped to deal with spiritual issues, sort of like trying to use a power drill to compose a symphony. Unfortunately, the impression that is left is that if science doesn't validate something, it doesn't exist. People thus have come to the conclusion that teaching of natural selection invalidates their beliefs, when in fact it does nothing of the kind for science has nothing to say on the matter. I speak from experience on this in that I attended a Catholic High School where natural selection and evolution was taught as part of the science curriculum. The point was simply made that when we do science, we use only the tools of science and when we do religion, we use only the tools of religion. While we are perfectly free to draw our own inferences and bridge the gap, we have to realize that those inferences will not be supported by others unless the tools can validate them.

OK, I've rambled on far too long on this but as a true Progressive, I want to say it's your fault for getting me started. I'm sure there are others here who will disagree with some/all of what I say but I've come to all of my conclusions on my own so I require no one to follow me in any of it. As General Patton said, "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:
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But then he became radicalized. The last time we lunched he said that we ought to "understand" the Muslims.

Y, I agree with him, we ought to understand the Muslims. We need to understand what their goals are, what methods and lengths they will go to achieve those goals and whether (and under what circumstances) some compromise with them can be reached. This "understanding" is not to make excuses for everything but to look at the facts realistically and decide the proper way to respond to it. Remember the movie "Independence Day" (the one about the alien invasion)? President Bill Pullman asks the captured alien if "there can be peace between us" and the alien responds "No peace!" He then asks the alien, "What do you want us to do?" and the alien responds, "We want you to DIE!" This is understanding. Like Hitler made clear his plans for the Jews in "Mein Kampf", the radical groups in the Middle East are forthright about what they want. We ignore this or paper over it at our own peril; in doing so, we FAIL to "understand."

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Your friend is an excellent socialist and should be commended for his loyalty to the cause. We need more people like that who do our bidding and don't do too much thinking for themselves.

I noticed he has assimilated our stem cell propaganda well. After Bu$h blocked the use of embryos for stem cell research we told our legions of useful robots that he had blocked research altogether. Very effective obviously.

He is also annoyed by the Bible as he should be since it is in direct competition with the magic book we promote. After all, our philosopher ALGORE, is the only true magician. He even managed to make carbon dioxide stop being the result of global warming and turned it into the cause. If that's not magic, what is? What followed does now precede! How can the Christian Book of Oppression compete with that?

I'm also glad he believes that people who are pro-wealth are automatically anti-environment. After all, if people are not poor, how can they be happy? Your friend understands all the basics! And he has even managed to censor himself to ignore Bu$h's efforts for the environment including his Pacific marine reservation. Very good!

He also feels for our oppressed brothers in Africa and of course money to battle AIDS isn't important and in no way constitutes willingness to help or compassion in any way. He, quite rightly, believes that we should have programs which focus not on eliminating the behavior which caused the epidemic but to allow it to continue in a progressive fashion. So of course when African men have sex with teenage girls to ward off AIDS, they should use condoms - not stop it! Demanding that is only more oppression of the African people.

Hearing about people like your friend dear Prole Robot - makes my heart sing. America is obviously ready for her destruction revolution!

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Sorry I was a little late to illustrate this thread and promote it to the Mother Page, but here we go:

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Red Square wrote:Sorry I was a little late to illustrate this thread and promote it to the Mother Page, but here we go:

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Comrade Red Square,
I could take that picture and repackage it as "Mechanism of Teenage thinking" because the placement of the brain is absolutely dead-on.

Before you figure it out, I'll tell you the answer, yes, I am 19, but I definitely don't fall into the norm of my age group, just ask Theo to back me up.

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Shouldn't the brain be in the knee itself - and much smaller?

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What good does it do in the knee? You can't make sex jokes and ineuendos if the brain is in the knee.

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Red Square wrote:
Sorry I was a little late to illustrate this thread and promote it to the Mother Page, but here we go:





I am glad to see that the pathophysiology of liberal reasoning has finally been elucidated. Sadly many hours of research was wasted looking in the crainal vault. There is also definite archeological evidence that liberals have lived on this planet for a long time as shown in the boney fossil evidence pictured below......

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Do: Allow yourself to be taught history by the Glowing Box filled with Talking People.
Don't: Read books by contemporary historians who didn't have the pleasure of modern indoctrinations.

Proletarian Robot, I almost fell off my chair with the oddly placed hole.

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Red, that image above is an example of an ossified autoencephaloproctologist.

Elliott, I am slightly over twice your age but remember your age well. As I recall there was one other place which demanded my attention and it was just behind a zipper. Ah, it amazes me that I did so much learning considering the distractions. But it was just learning--I stuffed things into my head at a huge rate without making any sense of them at all. Making sense of them is called wisdom.

Opiate, my definition of "understand" matches yours. I believe that understanding means merely comprehending. It's essentially a selfless process, requiring no emotional involvement or traducement. In fact, they hurt it. You need to understand a cancer. Or an ideology meaning to kill you.

Ed, the priest, by understand, meant make common ground with, if not surrender to. That may a definition beloved of a diplomat whose bread and butter is making sure that things are never truly resolved. There is a troll named Pandora on another website who is so emotionally young that she simply cannot understand that some people cannot be reasoned with--it's a form of sociopathy in its own way, which is a rather astonishing thing to say. The belief that people can be reasoned with, and the refusal to know that some cannot.

Memory fails me but I think it was Dean Acheson whom someone wanted to credit with being the father of the U.N. He snorted and said hell no. That talking would just postpone the inevitable settling of things by force and just make things worse. He understood understanding.

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Kommissar Vodkov -

Having a brain in the knee is a cute idea - but then indeed it would make screwing with someone's brain a much more difficult task if not a gross perversion. But a brain conveniently located in the pelvis area is a dream come true for many a social studies professional and community organizer.

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Proletarian Robot -

Perhaps your skeleton is an x-ray version of the following ad by Apple - part of the erstwhile "Think different" campaign beloved by progressive smarter-than-thou Mac users.

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Innostranyi Otdel wrote:Do: Allow yourself to be taught history by the Glowing Box filled with Talking People.
Don't: Read books by contemporary historians who didn't have the pleasure of modern indoctrinations.

Proletarian Robot, I almost fell off my chair with the oddly placed hole.

I got one a little better for you Comrade Innostranyi,

Do: be taught history as presented by your public school teacher, where every problem can be traced back to Americans or white Europeans

Don't: question it.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red, that image above is an example of an ossified autoencephaloproctologist.

Elliott, I am slightly over twice your age but remember your age well. As I recall there was one other place which demanded my attention and it was just behind a zipper. Ah, it amazes me that I did so much learning considering the distractions. But it was just learning--I stuffed things into my head at a huge rate without making any sense of them at all. Making sense of them is called wisdom.

First off, ossified autoencephaloproctologist? Ha!

(off)

Second, wisdom, hmm. . . You have me thinking Commissar.

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Do: Think that all music and art are equal.
Don't: Think that Mozart and Bach and Beethoven have never been equaled and that graffiti is vandalism.

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Elliott, I found that when I was young I had a memory like glue--I heard it once and I got it. And I read a whole lot faster. No doubt now my synapses are slower and hardening, but when I hear something, and listen, I get what it means. When I read, I get what it means. It's hard work. There are some good things in <i>The London Review of Book</i> (and a lot of leftist lies too), but the articles are more than a review, but rather a new way to look at the world. And when I read I now argue with the author, for I have enough experience (and knowledge) to do so instead of accepting his authority. I'm capable now of seeing interested motives, most of the time, preachments, deliberate obfuscations, and just plain bad faith. And foolishness too. There's a <i>lot</i> of that.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:That's before they switch from Windows.

Image The Mac vs PC argument aside, I think that the "Think Different" campaign featuring such "prominent" and "different" "thinkers" as John & Yoko, Gandhi, Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and other such exclusively "progressive" characters was rather asinine.

Wikipedia wrote:These were created as a tribute to the creative innovators that truly changed the world by thinking in ways others never did.

Did they include thinkers as Aristotle, Locke, Smith, Mises, Hayek, or Ayn Rand? No? Wonder why? And "Think different" from what? These are the people who advocated reason, economic freedom, and (except Aristotle for obvious reasons) capitalism that enabled the prosperous technological civilization whose crown jewel is the personal computer. Thinking "different" invariably leads to irrationality, mysticism, and serfdom - under which Apple computers would have never appeared. That makes the entire "Think different" campaign illogical, self-hating, and self-destructive. A more appropriate name for it would be "think stupid."

How about these for a change?

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And, to make things more interesting....

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Red wrote:The Mac vs PC argument aside, I think that the "Think Different" campaign featuring such "prominent" and "different" "thinkers" as John & Yoko, Gandhi, Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and other such exclusively "progressive" characters was rather asinine.
I don't really remember that campaign; must not have been at a time that I was watching much television. And it is stupid. Still, have you seen the Windows Mojave Project ads? Microsoft has to <i>shill</i> its own product. That's lame.

The only thing that I find disquieting about using Macs is that so-called cool people use them and they're considered cool. Which I have never been and don't want to be. There's something rather teenaged about being cool. Be different, so you can be just like everybody else. Switching one group for another.

If I could buy things without imprimaturs, I would. I refuse to wear clothes with the maker's brand on the pocket. Even Brooks Brothers, which is the least offensive. The car I drive, an Acura RL, is just about as low key as you can get for a decent car. If someone told Marilyn Monroe that he liked something she was wearing, she never wore it again. She didn't want to be the sum of parts but herself. Which is the smartest thing that that Kennedy bauble, and victim, ever did. Certainly smarter than screwing Kennedys.

I refuse to define myself by others--notice my opinion here do not fit in any categories. Even my admiration for Mozart is qualified, although it's very very high, it is qualified.

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I also dislike hype and I never said Macs were bad computers. But I thoroughly dislike the hype surrounding the Mac computers, especially that the said hype has nothing to do with the true engineering genius behind these machines. And I drive an old Cadillac Catera, which really is Opel Omega sold under a different branding in the US by GM.

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Notice how Toyota has started selling cars not by what they do but by how it makes you feel to have one. And Suburu was so irritating that I bitched at them. I don't give a flying f**k if they make them in a zero-emissions plant on a landfill with Keebler elves. Do they work, are they reliable, and are they good value for money?

Jeez.

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Red Square wrote:I also dislike hype and I never said Macs were bad computers. But I thoroughly dislike the hype surrounding the Mac computers, especially that the said hype has nothing to do with the true engineering genius behind these machines. And I drive an old Cadillac Catera, which really is Opel Omega sold under a different branding in the US by GM.


Dislike hype??? Mon Dieu, this is heresy! Where would the Party be without hype? The glorious progressive movement would just be another bunch of power-hungry thugs. Comrade Obama would just be a 21st century Adlai Stevenson instead of the Messiah. The Kennedys would just be another bunch overpriviledged useless rich gasbags instead of the saviors of civilization. Global warming would be a questionable theory instead of proven fact. No, we must have hype for it provides the rose in our rose-colored glasses.

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Citizen's,


It's clear that hypocracy and not Democracy is the word of the day! If a liberal craps in the woods, does he get a book deal and appear on Oprah?


Publius

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If a liberal craps in the woods and it's on china, it appears on Oprah's diet. Which she will explain in great detail on the air and showcase her personal chef, with her newest and best ways of preparing People's Tasty Crème™.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Red wrote:The Mac vs PC argument aside, I think that the "Think Different" campaign featuring such "prominent" and "different" "thinkers" as John & Yoko, Gandhi, Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and other such exclusively "progressive" characters was rather asinine.
I don't really remember that campaign; must not have been at a time that I was watching much television. And it is stupid. Still, have you seen the Windows Mojave Project ads? Microsoft has to <i>shill</i> its own product. That's lame.

The only thing that I find disquieting about using Macs is that so-called cool people use them and they're considered cool. Which I have never been and don't want to be. There's something rather teenaged about being cool. Be different, so you can be just like everybody else. Switching one group for another.

If I could buy things without imprimaturs, I would. I refuse to wear clothes with the maker's brand on the pocket. Even Brooks Brothers, which is the least offensive. The car I drive, an Acura RL, is just about as low key as you can get for a decent car. If someone told Marilyn Monroe that he liked something she was wearing, she never wore it again. She didn't want to be the sum of parts but herself. Which is the smartest thing that that Kennedy bauble, and victim, ever did. Certainly smarter than screwing Kennedys.

I refuse to define myself by others--notice my opinion here do not fit in any categories. Even my admiration for Mozart is qualified, although it's very very high, it is qualified.

You wonder why I eventually stopped caring about what people think of me? The harder I looked at all the glitz and glam of my classmates over the four years of high school, the more I realized it's an uphill battle, and a battle not worth fighting. I found it just fine with me to wear jeans with a t-shirt, try finding me wearing something else was pretty rare (sometimes a polo shirt).

Once again Commissar Theocritus, you speak a great idea for life. I stopped caring about what people thought of me, I stopped trying to fit in with the norm, and from all of this, I've come out a lot smarter, and a lot happier.

A note on your Mac v. PC discussion, I own both a MacBook and an iMac. I've owned a PC based computer before, and still do. Why did I switch to a Crapple (my joke on Apple products)? I wanted to see if everything they say about it was true, if it's simpler, if it's easier to use, etc. Well, sort of, because in all honesty, it's just a matter of getting use to the computer's set-up, meaning where everything is located. I got my MacBook, and I love it. One special thing I like about Apple products is there is only one company which makes their computers, as opposed to Windows being made by about five different companies (HP, Dell (Smell),Compaq, etc.)

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The downside of Apple doing the hardware and software is that one company is doing it. The upside is that it in general works better. Apple set up user guidelines with the first Mac--all Mac programs were supposed to work just a certain way. It was bothersome, but brilliant. In general they do.

If you want a special-build Apple, and I have several, you get them from Apple, and you know they'll work. If you get a Windows box you can do the Chinese meal: one from column A, say the motherboard, one from Column B, the video board and so forth. A wonderful idea but do the math. It's combinatorics. The amazing thing is that it works at all.

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I think this would be more apropos...

Image
<br>Please forgive my less than 133t image mani...*ahem*, nuancing skills.

DO credit the downtrodden, financially-challenged masses for their role in the nation's economic vitality, and dispense stimulus packages accordingly

DON'T reward the selfish capitalistic slavedrivers for their independence from the Nanny State--and tax them into oblivion instead!


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Michelle just looks like she's slumming, and the others know it.

Except maybe the capitalist pig *er* swine *um* Oprah...

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Have you noticed that Oprah looks more and more like her character in <i>The Color Purple</i>?

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Oooooohhhhh!

Report IMMEDIATELY to Sasha the Dancing Gulag Bear for re-edukation!

Effective dissing of the Proclaimer of the One is a BIG No-No!

Yes, he's already beating me relentlessly...

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Have you noticed that Oprah looks more and more like her character in <i>The Color Purple</i>?

You know how people make fun of her weight, I wonder if it's because it's fun to, or if we hate her.

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Elliott, the sad thing is that she's the best of a sorry lot. Talk-show hosts are people who bring people onstage to give us their misery memoirs so that prurient people can gloat and in the name of understanding lick their lips as they pry into other people's agonies.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Elliott, the sad thing is that she's the best of a sorry lot. Talk-show hosts are people who bring people onstage to give us their misery memoirs so that prurient people can gloat and in the name of understanding lick their lips as they pry into other people's agonies.
This is exploitation at one of its best. Why the best, because it seems like they are doing a favor for people. Truly, people look to others suffering for personal gain, a selfish idea.

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I think that it's prurient and voyeuristic and a symptom of the post-literate age.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I think that it's prurient and voyeuristic and a symptom of the post-literate age.


But,oh so deliciously vapid and shallow. Give me Oprah or give me death! The cry of a hungry nation. :)


Image Oprah has become a religion of sorts for many people. She is their God and they are her creatures. One has only to watch her show and learn the enlightened ways of Oprah and they will be molded into her image. New Age Oprah Dorks,Unite!!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I think that it's prurient and voyeuristic and a symptom of the post-literate age.

Post-literate age? I r w1sh I waznt p4rt of 1t, how un1337(leet, computer term for elite).
(off)
Sadly, it is.

Comrades!

I appeal to the unwashed masses for support and solidarity [but mostly dollars-I can do without the chattering] as I take the van against the Catholic Church.

You see, I was educated in their brutal gulag by these single clerics and I was not molested once!!

Thats DISCRIMINATION!

Wasn't my ass good enough? Did I have too many freckles?

I'm scarred for life, a victim...

Have your credit card ready and donate after the beep. No change will be given

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We must united behind the Oprah. Nipping at her heels are Maury Povich and Jerry Springer. Once I saw Springer with a midget in a leather harness and a leather mask, with a leather paddle. He was a sex therapist who whacked people with his paddle. The people he was educating could not keep a straight face.

I've also seen him have a fight between two skinny, chinless, hollow-chested, drunk grubs over a fat woman, to see who'd get her. The winner got two bags of flour.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red, that image above is an example of an ossified autoencephaloproctologist.


Forgive me Commissar but my vodka is not strong enough to decode your jabberwocky.

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auto=self
en=en
cephalo=head
proctologist==we know that one

ossified=turned into stone

An autoencephaloproctologist is someone who sticks his head up his ass and looks around a lot.

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Commissar Theocritis wrote:
[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]An autoencephaloproctologist is someone who sticks his head up his ass and looks around a lot.
[/HIGHLIGHT]

This is a very good description.

If all good Party members continue to do this they will also be participating in The One's preventive medicine component to his new Health Care plan. This way they can do their own screening colonoscopies looking not only for colon cancers but also foreign ojects, gerbils, new economic stimulus plans, Homeland Security policies and etc...

Image

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Or the remaining Rose Law Firm billing records.

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Old Progressives never die, they just flush their brains.

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Flush their brains? As in a water wash? Or as in getting rid of the shriveled and dead bits?

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:auto=self
en=en
cephalo=head
proctologist==we know that one

ossified=turned into stone

An autoencephaloproctologist is someone who sticks his head up his ass and looks around a lot.


Gives a whole new meaning to the word impalement dosent it cousin vlad

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This is Progressive Impalement. It keeps people from seeing things that might disturb them or cause them to question their own view. And what is a Progressive but someone who screams against reality like a spoiled toddler denied a toy?

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At least the screaming will be muffled when their head is in that... position....

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You wish, Betty, you wish. A Progressive's scream is heard in the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Didn't you hear Dan Rather moaning across the continent? What about Susan Sarandon? And Michael Moore's cause the mountains on the moon to quake.

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And Michael Moore's cause the mountains on the moon to quake.

Do you mean the real moon, or is that just a euphamism for the cellulite valleys of his ass?

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The real moon. But it's a good guess. Once when Moore was at the spa at the Canyon Ranch, a new masseur asked, "What's par for your ass?"

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I can't see how anyone would want to play a round there....

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I would, but for the putter I'd use a double-bladed wood ax.

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If that's the case, then I wouldn't want to see what you used as a driver....


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You disappoint me, Theocritus. Think BIG! Like the SS-17!

I like the name, particularly. Very apropos for its application here.

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Kamerad, I take your point about the Spanker. But still there are virtues to the sidewinder. First, it's easier to carry. You never know when you'll be set upon by Michael Moore. For someone who weighs on a truck scale, he's fast. He just pretends that there's fresh shrimp on the buffet and he breaks the sound barrier.

The Sidewinder you can keep in the passenger seat of your car.

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Then, in the interests of showing the true power of the People's Weaponry, I would propose the AA-11. And keep a SA-14 slung over your shoulder in case you should be walking one of the urban battlegrounds and see him bounding over to the nearest Krispy Kreme.

Although, I do see a sneaky, subversive subtlety in your approach, using western rocketry, comrade. It's like taking the Hartz bone from your noisy neighbor's dog and giving him a rawhide enema.

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I am partial to the Sidewinder because if you has a Mastercard and are in Beirut you can buy one with no questions asked. Fewer indeed than buying beer in New Mexico.

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DDR Kamerad wrote: You disappoint me, Theocritus. Think BIG! Like the SS-17!

Here's one in use.

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You know, I thought of that very thing when I first saw that missile's NATO designation.


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After all the peace 'n' love of the New World order that we got a week ago, I am going into insulin shock and need some good time either strangling puppies or shooting large-caliber weapons.

At enemies of the people, of course.

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Might I suggest this fine piece of equipment for all your purging needs.


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Personally I think that I'm going to throw a party for Our Many Titted Empress and feed her and feed her and feed her. I'm going to ask Che Gourmet to cook up Rethuglican virgins and after she's had a round dozen I expect that she'll explode like Mr. Creosote. That ought to do it.

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Commissar_Elliott wrote:
Red Square wrote:Sorry I was a little late to illustrate this thread and promote it to the Mother Page, but here we go:

Image
Comrade Red Square,
I could take that picture and repackage it as "Mechanism of Teenage thinking" because the placement of the brain is absolutely dead-on.

Before you figure it out, I'll tell you the answer, yes, I am 19, but I definitely don't fall into the norm of my age group, just ask Theo to back me up.

Comrade Commissar_Elliott,

Perhaps your theory explains why so many younger Comrades are flaming, tree-hugging, tofu-farting liberals so PROGRESSIVE. With such an identical physiology, how could they help but be similar?

“If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” -Winston Churchill

Thank Obama that it takes a good 40 years for the brain to migrate to the head. The creation of 3 million new jobs at my gulags will enusre that no proles live till age 40! Maybe some of the $819 billion can be used to build a new platform at the Hauptbahnhof to aid in the transportation of proles to my newest Gulag...

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

BTW, where's Comrade C2G (who I'm nominating for Obamissar of "keepin' it real") been?


 
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