President Donald Trump began flying California National Guard troops into Oregon after a judge blocked the use of Oregon's own Guard, prompting Democratic governors to sue while also Googling whether this can even happen. Roughly 200 previously federalized California troops were reassigned to Portland this weekend - or, in the words of Oregon officials, "arrived like an ex with a U-Haul" - even as Portland officials insisted the current street action ranks "somewhere between a polite drum circle and a mild line-standing at an artisanal pickle shop...MORE

The nation’s leading advocates of empathy clarified Wednesday that free speech remains absolutely sacred, provided the people they disagree with are done talking forever. "Democracy depends on robust debate," said an adjunct professor of Nonviolence, pausing to like a post labeled DING DONG above a photo of the deceased. "Which is why it’s crucial that certain voices stop speaking. Only then can the conversation begin...MORE

We all heard the story of Iryna Zarutska, a 23-year-old Ukrainian refugee randomly slaughtered on a train in Charlotte, NC - only because she was a "white girl." The media's outrage machine revved for a moment, then sputtered to a stop once it came out that the victim and the perpetrator fit the wrong demographic categories. Yes, comrades - empathy is a luxury rationed by intersectional commissars. Without the correct "demographic pairing" there will be no candlelight vigils, no murals, and no Netflix miniseries...MORE

Before there was The People's Cube, there was CommunistsForKerry.com - the Cube's spiritual ancestor. The year was 2004. The modem screeched, the flip-flops flopped, and comrades rallied under Kerry the Great Hope. Now, after 20 years in HTML amber, the heritage site of the Revolution has returned! Yes, comrades: while capitalist websites update weekly, ours update once every 20 years (per Party directive). Click, comrades, and relive the glory of the People’s first glorious satire factory. ...MORE

Living in his neon-lit political fortune booth on Fifth Avenue, the Marxist fortune teller peers into his subsidized crystal ball and explains the historical inevitability of communism, the coming of the Glorious World of Next Tuesday, and sells easily digestible fortune-cookie slogans. Put in a quarter, and you get a fortune card: "Your future is bright," "Abolish landlords," "Abolish America," "Abolish history," or "You will end up living in a commune with 17 strangers and a broken toilet."...MORE

President Trump's recent whirlwind diplomacy tour - which included a meeting with Vladimir Putin in Alaska, followed by talks with President Zelensky and European leaders in Washington - has been described by supporters as "a masterclass in multi-board game strategy." Eyewitnesses report that Trump treated the Alaska summit like high-stakes poker, bluffing Putin into showing his hand while simultaneously slamming down ping-pong shots of military aid guarantees across the net in Washington. At the same time, sources confirm he was moving Monopoly pieces around the board, buying up Ukrainian minerals and handing out "Get Out of War Free" cards - all while playing Twister with China and backgammon with India....MORE

Mar-a-Lago, FL - In yet another historic move "bigger than anyone's ever seen," President Trump has declared himself the winner of the inaugural Trump Peace Prize, a new award honoring "tremendous, beautiful, really smart peace deals."

Despite a number of important peace deals that stopped and prevented wars in various parts of the world, Trump noted there was "zero chance" the Nobel Peace Prize Committee would honor him: "They gave one to Obama for thinking about peace. I actually made peace. But because I'm me, they won't do it. So, I said, 'Fine, I'll make my own prize - much better, much classier, much more gold.'"...MORE

Comrades! Rejoice! The People’s Cube has been heroically upgraded to the newest, most perfect, and most secure platform in the history of progressive cyber-collectivism. It is flawless, it is glorious, and it is, naturally, mandatory. As part of this Great Leap Forward, we have introduced several revolutionary new features. Most notably, the ability to share People’s Cube pages on social media with the first image or attachment from the post appearing automatically. This monumental achievement took several Five-Year Plans to complete, during which many loyal coders remained dutifully chained to their computer stools, sustained only by Party-approved beet rations... MORE

Meet New York’s first openly anti-functional mayoral candidate, who believes ownership is racist, taxation is freedom, cash is violence, and the subway must be free, loud, and compulsory. Zohran Mamdani has what it takes to lead New York into a future where nothing works, but everything signals virtue. Sure, the city will be less affordable, but it’ll feel morally superior while burning - and isn’t that what matters?

Endorsed by the Coalition for Urban Collapse, the 33-year-old visionary is ready to usher in consequence-free governance, with new policies such as:... MORE

After President Trump’s B 2 bombers turned several Iranian nuclear sites into high-temperature parking lots, regime clerics scrambled to explain the event within the framework of mystical Shiite theology.

Supreme Leader Khamenei claimed the uranium is now hidden—like the Twelfth Imam—awaiting a more just and centrifuge-friendly world. According to a hastily assembled sermon (updated mid-blast), the strike was not an act of war but “a test sent by the Hidden Imam, disguised as Western aerospace engineering... MORE

What began as rowdy but good-natured toy-sharing in the national sandbox quickly devolved into chaos as Donald Trump and Elon Musk - two alpha disruptors known for reshaping industries, reimagining space travel, reviving free speech, and generally rearranging the world’s furniture - found themselves locked in a power struggle over who gets the electric truck, the rocket ship, and the last pudding cup.

Eyewitnesses say tensions rose after Trump posted on Truth Social: “Elon’s toy rocket crashed into my sandcastle. Beautiful castle. Best castle...MORE

MOSCOW—Following Ukraine’s drone attack that rendered dozens of Russian strategic bombers into what experts are calling “shrapnel with delusions of grandeur,” the Kremlin unveiled what Defense Ministry spokesperson Olga Denialova described as “a Schrödinger’s defense doctrine.” “That's some quantum stuff,” explained Denialova. "If NATO opens the hangar, bombers might be there - or not. In any event, experience tells us that enemies are more afraid of our irrational behavior than actual weapons...MORE

Comrades, let us not be misled by bourgeois headlines about “crashes” and “failures.” The glorious Kosmos 482 has not crashed - it has arrived. Precisely on schedule and on target. This is not a malfunction. It is a strategic planetary deployment. The Soviet spacecraft, launched in 1972, was only presumed to be lost. In fact, it was observing radio silence as part of a long-term infiltration protocol. Now that it has returned to Earth, it can begin Phase II: demoralizing decadent Western infrastructure by posing as “space debris” while actually collecting parking ticket data and interfering with Amazon deliveries...MORE

In a bold move to diversify their international humiliation portfolio, U.S. politicians are now flocking to El Salvador for a firsthand glimpse at what actual consequences look like. The new “Bars & Briefings” tour package includes guided walks through overcrowded mega-prisons, selfie stations with tattooed inmates, and inspirational workshops on how to look tough without actually legislating anything. “It’s a transformative experience,” said one senator, nervously clutching his visitor pass. “We’ve never seen this many criminals who are actually behind bars...MORE

Your life is more than the sum of its parts. Dissect it into isolated moments, stripped of context—and it becomes a group therapy session for multiple personalities. Split people by race, class, gender, or lunch order—whatever gets them arguing—then treat each part like a standalone grievance with its own Instagram handle. The country now looks like just another group project no one signed up for. Now let’s try a practical exercise. Take any classic book title, chop it in half—and watch a timeless idea start to resemble an Etsy shop or...MORE

A modern dictatorship—it’s not just about silencing dissent anymore, it’s about pre-installing it so no one even thinks to dissent in the first place.

Step one: control the narrative.
Start with the media—state-run if you’re old-school, or just ideologically synchronized if you prefer the illusion of choice. Make sure all news outlets deliver the same message, only in different fonts.

Next, rewire the education system.
Begin early. Replace critical thinking with critical theory. In public schools, teach compliance, not curiosity. By university, elevate ideology over evidence. Award PhDs in outrage. Hire professors who believe disagreement is violence and history is optional....MORE

Washington, D.C. — U.S. District Judge James E. Boasberg, noted enthusiast of post-rational jurisprudence and the West Wing as constitutional theory, issued a nationwide injunction Tuesday declaring the United States Constitution unconstitutional—citing its promotion of problematic originalism, blatant self-violation, and general incompatibility with what he described as “today’s flexible truth environment.”...MORE

Published with permission by Canada’s Department of Approved Cinema & Emotional Regulation
OTTAWA — Audiences are in polite disarray this week as the surprise box office smash Red, White & Blue Dawn continues its historic run. The film, which depicts the unthinkable—Americans showing up without inviting themselves first—has sparked record-breaking sales of buttered popcorn and emotional support flannel, leaving Canadians unsure whether to be offended or offer snacks.MORE

TOP SECRET – FOR PUBLIC DISTRIBUTION

Unwashed, underpaid, and ideologically purified members of our tireless People’s Collective!

For two glorious decades, we have wielded the Current Truth™ like a shovel in both hands, marching proudly in ideological circles for the betterment of Global Equality™.

It is with trembling pride and historically correct joy that the People’s Cube has guided the toiling masses through fluctuating Korrekt Narratives™, socially just purges, Party-approved outrage cycles, and righteous denunciations of thought criminals.

With ideological precision, historical correctness, and shovel-grade rhetorical force, it has heroically redistributed logic and Other People’s Money™, decolonized microaggressions, dismantled reality-based oppression, and exposed kulaks, climate deniers, and those who fail to use the correct number of pronouns in a sentence—until not one thought remained unapproved.

Let it be known: this is not a time for celebration (which is suspicious), but a moment of solemn and mandatory reaffirmation. The struggle continues against all forms of unregulated thinking. The narrative evolves. The Current Truth™ updates. And the People’s Cube remains at the vanguard of this perpetual motion machine of moral superiority.

To all loyal comrades: the People’s Director does not thank you (praise breeds entitlement). We simply remind you: you have work to do.... MORE

For anyone still tuning in to the regularly scheduled gaslighting, here’s a video that might crack your screen a little. Brought to you by nobody. Funded by nothing. Approved by no one. Enjoy PROPAGANDA: The Music Video...MORE

After the Harris-Walz campaign was caught sending opposite messages to pro-Gaza and pro-Israel voters, futurists chimed in saying the future contains much more sophisticated and personalized lying. According to Chet Flatley, a voter engagement consultant, voters are currently subjected to vague lies or just "I'm not the other jerk" kind of messaging. In his words, this is "crude, and not too effective." He laid out the likely future where politicians can give targeted falsehoods to each voter individually, using AI and 'big data' available from tech firms.MORE

To a visitor from another planet (or a mainstream media consumer, which is nearly the same) the discussion might highlight a contrast between a brilliant, optimistic intellectual (Kamala), and a dimwitted, grumpy old man (Trump). But if you were to apply their words to the reality on the ground, Kamala's decorative rhetoric would shatter into a million of fake glittery crumbs, while Trump's stanse would land squarely in the mess that needs fixing - a mess party created by his 'brilliant' opponent.

Hollywood experts might have trained her to raise her head in a certain way, to smile, squint, frown, raise her eyebrows, and otherwise pretend to be an authentic human being...MORE

For those who like songs explained to them, it's about how San Francisco "values" spread like cancer across the country, with progs making life unbearable in their own areas and then migrating to conservative states, bringing their "progress" and voting habits with them.

My "San Francisco Joe" character embodies this, with a split personality representing both a poor drifter and a wealthy political activist. The activist destroys the existing order, creating new drifters who follow him to other places, wondering why they’re so poor.....
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Classics of Marxism predicted that in the future, automation would tackle the toughest jobs, hastening our march toward the inevitable Glorious World of Next Tuesday. And it’s already happening, with AI taking over the intellectual and creative sectors, leaving us with the joyous task of shoveling beets. Our march forward is picking up speed! If last year’s birthday was almost entirely generated by graphic AI, this year, AI has gifted us a full-fledged music video – complete with an anthem for mandatory singing and marching....
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To me, trained in Marxism by Soviet mentors, the idea of non-binary genders sounds more like Trotsky tripping on hallucinogenic fungi. In Marxist dating, there's just two swipes: workers and collective farmers. It's not about finding the one, it's about uniting the masses!

The socialist masses aren't divided into oppressors and the oppressed. The oppressor's identity varies with positions, ensuring each comrade gets a turn at being oppressed - gender equality achieved under the keen gaze of State Security....
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As someone who's lived in both Russia and Ukraine, who speaks both languages, and is versed in their histories, I've been bombarded with questions about Putin's recent interview with Tucker Carlson. It prompted me to compile my answers into this article, hoping to clarify for my American friends the real backdrop and fallout of Putin's remarks....
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Roses are red.
Violets are not.
Valentine's Day
Is a capitalist plot!...
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Comrades, we all know of the famous, and infamous, utterings of our past, present and, possibly, future leaders. What we rarely are made aware of are those words of wisdom uttered by the less elevated by the propaganda machine. This is your opportunity for a redress of grievances, because we all know redressing a pig and putting lipstick on it makes it taste better. Add your quotes to the list of forgotten or ignored wisdom from yourselves or your heroes or both...
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IN THIS ISSUE:

• How to make your own Doomsday Clock
  
• Apocalypse now-ish
  
• Your parents are Nazis
  
• End of world this year predicted worse than last
  
• Top 10 worst villains still trumping Trump
  
• Post-election escape plan: top 10 countries to move to if Trump wins
  
• ‘Too Late' explained: Greta reveals the point of no return...
  

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Ah, the grand old art of making people hate one another. It's as easy as telling Group A that Group B thinks they're a bunch of lowbrows who wouldn't know culture if it came up and bit them on their mass-market jeans. Then, you flip the script and inform Group B that Group A looks down on them with the kind of disdain usually reserved for unflushed toilets. Don’t even try to use logic; we're dealing in the commodity of raw, unrefined emotions here. Groups C, D, and E may also get involved, depending on the size of the conspiracy theory you’re spinning...
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The Hollywood Reporter has declared Meghan Markle and Prince Harry among the biggest losers in Hollywood for 2023. This shocking twist of fate has led the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to request to be in the latest edition of Poor Me magazine.

Chock full of articles about two average folks like you and me...

• Silver spoons and why they taste so icky
• Princes don't need last names: Prince Harry, Prince William, & 'artist formerly know as'
• Strong. Black. Female. Meghan is so much more than the labels she gives herself
• The inside story of how Meghan was actually the inspiration for Rachel Zegler's Snow White...

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Elite Universities like University of Pennsylvania, Harvard, and MIT have strict codes of conduct to make sure the students respect one another, while allowing civilized and intelligent discussion about their different opinions. Legal scholars from these Universities met this week to create the handy guide below. It was created so students, Congressional leaders, and the average 'they/them on the street' is absolutely clear about what statements are allowed and what are not...
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I'm a counter-propagandist, not a  numismatist but I can't resist posting a sneak peek at the newest stamps that will be offed by the Postal Commissariat in 2024. Here are some samples...
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Presumably acting in her unofficial role as the MTG, Hillary showed up at COP28 in Dubai to put her unsolicited two cents in about Climate Change's body count. Perfect, because Hillary knows plenty about body counts but (like most other COP28 participants) nothing about climate. As you can see from these hastily contrived charts, the number of weather-related deaths decreased drastically over the last 100 years while the number of alleged Clinton-related deaths has steadily increased and continues to do so. .....
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Washington, DC -- In a shocking development, US Climate Envoy John Kerry today upgraded his diplomatic stance regarding China's climate policies from "Frowny Face" directly to "Wagging Finger." This bold stance by the United States completely bypassed "Angry Eyebrows" in a move that stunned most of the diplomatic world. The stern action was because of China's apparent lack of progress on climate goals set by various UN committees....
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In light of the several hate crime hoaxes that have come out recently, Jussie Smollett has decided to create a production company to compete with what he calls "the amateurish recent offerings." He sat down with The Peoples Cube to talk about his shift from starring in these features to producing them.
TPC: What is your motivation for this career shift?
JS: Most recent hate crimes have been reality TV versions; attacks on churches, pregnancy support centers, Jewish schools. There have been a couple ones that were actual hoaxes, like the ones in Ohio and Texas but both were obviously low budget / 'B movie' type hoaxes. I think we're ready to get the industry back to professionally produced 'big budget' hoaxes.....
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The Federal Emergency Mismanagement Agency will conduct a test of its Emergency Doom Alert System today from 2:20 pm ET til whenever it becomes too annoying to continue. The test will issue a shrieking sound similar to the one made by Nancy Pelosi when she was ordered to vacate her posh "hideaway" office. It is to ensure that the system is audible on all radio stations, television channels and cell phones. For wiseguys who plan on turning off their radios, TVs and cellphones, FEMA knows who you are and has deployed.....
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Trump is remarkable because he's both right and wrong at the same time. .....
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Washington, DC -- As attacks intensify against Clarence Thomas and the other conservative Supreme Court justices for receiving gifts from his friends, Justice Thomas is reportedly wishing he had just received millions in foreign cash instead. Propublica and the New York Times have been publishing detailed exposés recently on Justice Thomas, analyzing every gift, vacation, trip, and purchase from the last forty years. These hard-hitting reports showed a disturbing pattern of personal friends not charging the Justice when they traveled together .....
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Tallahassee, FL -- After it was announced Donald Trump raised $7.1 million in funds as a result of his indictment and booking in Georgia using creative new legal arguments, other presidential candidates are taking notice. Republican Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis is reportedly looking into being indicted "in a blue state somewhere... for something...” to generate much-needed campaign funds. A spokesperson said, "Imagine Ron's mug shot on T-shirts, coffee mugs, and throw pillows. The merchandising possibilities are endless.....
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If the People's Cube kollektive were to film a comedy, it would be Comrade X. Luckily for us, it has already been filmed, so we can simply sit back and follow the misadventures of Clark Gable and Hedy Lamarr in pre-WWII Stalinist Russia. It has all the makings of a people’s classic. The fact that it’s not can only be explained by a conspiracy theory: its mockery of communism is too triggering in today's USSA (United Safe Spaces of America), and is about as popular as wearing a MAGA hat at the Oscars, where Comrade X would win "Best Canceled Non-Movie."
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Two hungry bear cubs found a head of cheese the size of a good piglet lying in the grass. “We must divide it equally, so as not to deprive anyone,” said the first. “I am the eldest, I am entitled to more!” said the second and tried to take the cheese from his brother. “I'm the youngest, I get more due!” the first one shouted. They began to argue, and then even fight. Suddenly, a fox emerged onto the clearing. With a sweet, honeyed voice, she offered: “Please don't fight. Such nice little bears, such intelligent and fair-minded two brothers! Allow me to assist you in dividing this cheese equitably, to the satisfaction of all. Our aim is to foster a society where everyone's rights are upheld through the fair and just redistribution of resources— or in this case, cheese....
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It is true that The People’s Cube began in 2005 as a coal-driven, six-horsepower website powered by Nyetscape, but within only 18 short years we've already been able to enter the age of artificial intelligence. During those years, tens of thousands of images were created by means of backbreaking, manual photoshopping. Clearly, had A.I. existed back then, we would have been spared the manual labor and had more free time to engage in our collective marching and dancing...
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There seem to be a number of Artificial Intelligence enthusiasts among our Cube comrades, so it’s time we had a serious discussion on how to turn it into fun. Above is how Midjourney AI imagined Cho Bai-Din.

And this is how AI thinks Biden sniffs Kamala Harris whenever they happen to be alone. The expression on her face is far from artificial - or, for that matter, intelligent. And watch Biden's reaction when he found out that a lowly AI bot made fun of him. It was brutal.
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Since last week, the Alpine regions of Switzerland are suffering a shortage of reptile food, as crickets, frozen mice and mealworms seem to have vanished overnight.

"I had to drive all the way to France to buy some mice to feed to my pet snake," explained David Müller, an inhabitant of the small mountain resort of Davos. "It's probably because of this climate change that's going on, or Covid or something...
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Sources reveal that an additional cache of classified documents has been identified at a Frederick, Maryland, Waffle House. The papers were discovered wedged behind the handwashing sink water supply lines in the restaurant's men's room on Wednesday.

"We had this guy come staggering in about 9:30 a.m.," said assistant manager Tommy Wilson. "He was dressed real nice, but he was filthy, like he'd fell into a dumpster or something." ...
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• In 2023, we'll still have only ten years left to save the planet.
• Joe Biden will remember what he had for lunch.
• The revolution will be right around the corner! Again.
• Accountability will be declared a hate word, punishable by a 10-year sentence.
• A refusal to eat cockroaches will be tantamount to stealing Greta's childhood. How dare you!

What's your prediction?
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Just a quick note to reassure America that their federal government and their intelligence agencies aren't conspiring to create a totalitarian police state, and that anyone spreading such rumors will be promptly arrested. All patriotic Americans must report anyone who complains about the coming police state. Such claims are clearly a foreign influence operation. You've all read about how the FBI and OGA have selflessly worked with social media to protect you from a subversive conspiracy theory that your government somehow controls the flow of information...
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