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2008 Government-Subsidized Auto Show

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Everyone knows that all cars are created equal. In the name of justice we must legislate the equality of American automobiles with their foreign counterparts. A Car Czar must be appointed to distribute cash to our automobile industry so that we can protect it from the Capitalist evil of competition.

To highlight the urgent need for these measures and to emphasize the many successes of government-run automaking, we present the 2008 Government-Subsidized Auto Show. All automobile manufacturers are rated according to the Red Star system, with five stars as the highest award.



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Some owners preferred to dispose of their Zapor rather than pay a parking ticket which would be greater than the value of the vehicle. This vehicle is affectionately known as Zapor, which is short for Zaporozhets. Due to a misfortunate twist of irony zapor means "constipated" in Russian. It's actually an accurate description of this tiny and cheap car.

When it was first introduced back in the late fifties the sentiment among some Ukrainians was that the car was introduced as punishment by the Soviet Union.

Such a creative chastisement by the Ukrainians' Communist overlords earns the Zapor two Red Stars!!



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Trabant's Eco-Friendly Chia Car
For about 50 years East Germany was a progressive paradise until the reunification of the country reintroduced Capitalism. The powerful two-cylinder Trabant is a testament to the superiority of Communism over free market economies. Nowhere was that more apparent than in the difference between East and West Germany.

West Germany produced inferior automobiles such as BMW, Mercedes Benz, Porsche, Volkswagen and Audi. On the other hand, East Germany manufactured outstanding automobiles such as the Trabant and Wartburg. East Germany's auto manufacturers reached a level of craftsmanship that remains untouched these days (Mostly, because they are out of business).

Ladies and Gentleman, People's Cube is proud to award the Trabant three Red Stars!!! With a plastic body and a hydrocarbon emissions rate of about 10 times that of modern cars, the tiny Trabant makes a strong showing.



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A brand new, fully complete Moskvitch just after rolling off the assembly line.
Thanks to the theft fair redistribution of an entire German automobile factory after WWII, the Moskvitch was based on the design of the Opel Kadett. Most Eastern European automobiles were based on Fiat designs so this made the Moskvitch unique.

Manufactured at the "Youth Communist League Car Factory", the appearance and performance of the Moskvitch more closely resembled a tank rather than a car.

The export of the Moskvitch brand to Great Britain actually made a bit of a splash in the early 70s until the Consumers' Association published an article that questioned the safety of the vehicle. Any fender bender in the imported Moskvitchs could turn into an experience worthy of a 'slasher flick' thanks to the incredibly sharp edges of the dashboard and dangerously positioned aluminum handbreak.

Such Soviet engineering boosts the Moskvitch to a four Red Star rating!!!! Congratulations comrades!!!!



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The Grand Prize Winner, with a souped-up hand warmer.
This was a heroic automobile manufactured in Yugoslavia's "Red Flag Factory".

"Every car came with a rear defroster to keep your hands warm as you pushed the car..." A triumph of Communist engineering!!!

During its existence the Yugo earned many enthusiastic reviews. Car & Driver magazine wrote that shifting gears in the Yugo is like "trying to shift a baseball bat stuck inside a barrel full of coconuts".

Consumers have been happy too. Extra features such as removable doors have boosted the Yugo's reputation so that no one is surprised to hear that People's Cube awards the Yugo five Red Stars!!!!!

Now get out there and make Socialist cars for the Party bosses!

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Comrade F. Now's submission to the People's Cube has been reformatted and posted without the introductory three paragraphs, which we are quoting here for historical purposes:
Freedom Now wrote:What have we learned from the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac bailout? The Democratic Party's Ministry of Disinformation has taught us that the problem stemmed from the Republican Party's opposition to regulation and the mortgage industry's predatory lending.

Of course, neither is true. It was the Democratic Party that blocked all attempts to reform the GSEs and denied that there was any problem, while the Republicans fought to enact new regulatory legislation before it was too late. Additionally, it was the Democratic Party and its allies (like ACORN) that prodded and coerced the mortgage industry into making loans to high risk borrowers.

But just ignore the elephant in the room. Support our glorious seven-digit income automobile executives as they flock to Washington D.C. looking for handouts at the taxpayers' expense. These robber barons are the vanguard of the revolution.

Hey its OK. When I signed up for the People's Revolution I knew that I would have to submit to the People's censorship.

So when does George Soros send me a check? I wanna buy a Senate seat...

Long Live the Peoples!!!

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Comrades, it is time to place the blame squarely where it belongs. That is what the Party is for, after all. It is not the fault of the stalwart Auto Workers or their wonderful unions. It is not the fault of the Federal government and the attempts to micromanage private industry through regulation and mandate. It is not the fault of state governments and their predatory taxation of the Big Three. It is not even the fault of the Big Three's management (bet that one really surprises all true comrades)!

No, my dear friends, the problem is CAPITALISM! COMPETITION! LACK OF CENTRAL PLANNING! Witness for yourself!

- https://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2 ... struction/

A taste of the linked article:

Dec. 18, 2008 | It is just as well that Barack Obama is emulating Abraham Lincoln by traveling to his inauguration in Washington by train. As the regional politics of the automobile bailout controversy demonstrate, the Civil War continues. If the major U.S. automobile companies go under, it will be partly because timely federal aid for them was blocked by members of Congress like Tennessee Senator Bob Corker, whose states have created their own counter-Detroit in the form of Japanese, Korean, and German transplant factories. The South will have risen by bringing down the North. Jefferson Davis will have had his revenge.

Curse those crafty Confederates and their Capitalist slave system!

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Those are sure some progressive engineering changes that this comrade can believe in!

I can't wait to see the USA in a shiny new socialized Chevrolet!

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Where do I send the bill for cleaning off my 'puter screen???

Thus we watch the end of Freedom and Liberty to the applause of Obama minions as they stamp out the greatest successful civil human experiment ever conceived.



I've never floated over Niagara Falls in a barrel but watching the end of America approach seems like the view one might see out of the bung hole before cresting the falls.

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Comrades, i hope that there will be an altenative to the Chevy Volt, one that would run on any hemp product. This would be good, for the fumes would make it much easier for us to control the masses while they are in a subdued into a constant state of docility. We need only come up with some trendy name so that it may appeal to the progressive, earth loving masses. Any ideas?

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I was thinking maybe something along the lines of the opel, something like..
THE OPIATE?

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Introducing the new GM "Deserve"!

Inspired by Ben Franklin who remarked: "Those Who Sacrifice Liberty For Security Deserve Neither."

The Deserve would look like a seat belt on four wheels operated remotely by The Party.

Ivan,

The bottom line of the Salon article you linked is that if you are not for the auto bailout, you are a racist. This is orthodox Party ideology.

Strange though, wasn't Lincoln a Republican? Hmmm... what role did the Copperheads, ummm... I mean Democrats, have in the Civil War?

Thoughts to ponder as we blindly follow our dear leader's Pravada propaganda machine.

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Frankly Scarlet.......!

(It had to be said. Dang, i broke my broom handle. That's what I get for wasting The People's time)

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Instead of euthanasia, all we have to do is give a government-subsidized automobile to those who are elderly or terminally ill to ease the burden on the healthcare system!

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How stupid of me not to see that the goverment has solved this problem we are faced with already in the form of public transportaion. There will be no need for personal transportation. The idea that one should have their own vehicle is cave man capitalist thinking. Also , it will aid us in the order of population control. when the masses are too great, we need only divert a few buses or trains to a liquidation camp...! Why didn't i see this before?

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Does anyone know where I can buy liberate one of these vehicles?

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I would like to take the time to wish the UAW a very HAPPY PROGRESSIVE X-MAS!
(as we all know, it is X-mas, and not CHRISTmas, we don't want to offend any non gender specific persons, or freedom fighters of the middle eastern type.) Courtesy of the American taxe payer of course, to which most do not make as much as the workers we are bailing out. So enjoy the forced chairity, much like the forced change that is to come!

(OFF)
I don't mind giving to chairty, but not when it is forced. When it is forced, it's called more TAXES not CHAIRITY or "FEE".
A government "FEE" is another word for TAXES.

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/off Even when it's on it doesn't work very good! LOL

Wishing UAW workers a Happy Progressive X-Mas....oh too much.

I read another term I liked on Digg:

Hatriots!

Therefore, I think the Hatriots should be mandated to own, operate and repair the new Gm "Deserves".
/on feline got my tongue

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I am just happy that stupid George Bush missed the obvious and is "helping" the wrong side: If he were to nationalize the domestic operations of Toyota, Nissan, and Honda, the big 3 would easily be able to compete with them.

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Hey...Look at the new People's Bus the UAW is going to produce as a result of the new "fees".

<img width="550" src="https://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j18/ ... 132047.jpg">

Coming to neighborhoods everywhere!


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Shouldn't the aresting officer be wearing on Obama "O" arm band, the great seal of THE ONE?
So how much do you think he will pay for a seat on the People's Bus?

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Amsoc73,
All should be as suggested and is causing much turbulence here at the Eagles Nest
Image Do you have beet farmer remedies for facial tics?

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I like the idea of suggesting the names of new progressive car models. So far we have:

FORD OPIATE
GM DESERVE

I propose:

FORD HOPE
FORD CHANGE
CADILLAC EQUALITY
PONTIAC GRAND SCHEME
CHEVY MESSIAH
CHRYSLER REDISTRIBUTION
SATURN SKY-HIGH
BUICK PIPEDREAM
DODGE UTOPIA
DODGE GORACLE
CHEVY SACRIFICE
CHEVROLET INDOCTRINATION
GMC BAILOUT
JEEP UAW
PONTIAC COMPASSION
CHEVY GOVERNMENT
FORD OBAMA
DODGE LENIN

Did I miss anything?

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The UAW Bushmaster
The Wallstreet Ponzi
The Pontiac Precipitous
The AIG Easy~Flow Shopping Cart
The People's Bus Made in France

Chrysler eHOAX
GM FLINTMOBILE



TOYOTA TRIUMPH

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THE LINCOLN LENIN MARK V
THE MERCURY MARX

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HONDA PEON
CADILLAC HEGEMONY
FORD COMMUNITY
CHRYSLER SOYLENT (works on soy beans + patented secret ingredient)
CHEVY SHOVEL
DODGE FEARLESS LEADER

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Introducing the brand new eco-friendly bio-degradable Pelosimobile!Image

Features:
Zero emissions - unless driver ate beans for lunch.
Inexpensive to maintain - parts readily available in any national park.
Great gas mileage!
Easy credit available - in fact, this is the ONLY purchase for which you can get credit terms right now.

Buy one now - avoid jail time!

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Introducing the all new "progressive" auto lineup for 2010!

TOYOTA PROLE
DODGE INFLATION
CHRYSLER COMPASSION
FORD FAIRNESS

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GM BAILOUT HYBRID
The NASA MARS LANDER (V1)
CHEVY SLUMP
FORD ENVY
DODGE STOPLIGHT
CHRYSLER MOOCH
CHRYSLER CAPITALIST
GM GIBBERISH
GM GLOBAL NIGHTMARE

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Don't think of it as a bail-out, think of it as a bail-up!

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"PROLE"

LOL ObamaMarx.

Learned a new word tonight just brainstorming!

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BUICK FINANCE Me
CHRYSLER COMMISSAR
FORD PEOPLES FEAT
DODGE DEPRESSION
CADILLAC REDISTRIBUTION
LINCOLN TAXATION
PONTIAC GRAND JOBBANK
CHEVY CONGRESS OVERSIGHT
MERCURY CENTRAL PLAN
JEEP LOAN

and the model that all companies must market by 2010:

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AMSOC HYBRID IV d CHILDREN,
(final design pending Congressional approval)
only comes in Gia Green with Party Red interior--NO EXCEPTIONS




DA PEEPS' RAPPER

Comrade “Pul” хулиганье
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.

Cuba wagons are most gloriously green car. Only running once or twice a month between breakdowns. USasians are spoiled with always running cars. Once Dear Leader Obama appoints comrade Moore Healthcare and transportation Czar, greedy american autos will be lifted to progressive Cuban standards.

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Comrades,

As we learned in Animal Farm animals on four legs are equal to animals on two legs. In such a way, cars are equal to motorcycles. Accordingly, please note the availability of the glorious Russian Ural motorcycle. Built in a factory involuntarily donated by the National Socialist Nazi Germans and relocated to, uh, the Urals (I guess), the design remained unchanged for decades.

Comrades, if it ain't broke, don't fix it (just pump more people's money into it--that always works; if not, use your Tokarev to eliminate the reactionaries and spies).

The Ural comes in various models and even has a reverse gear (for the sidecar, I guess) despite being only 500cc. There's one in solid Red, but I prefer the battle-ready version. Come the revolution, you'll be revving to go! They don't call it Redlining for nothing, comrades.
<br>Do not believe the reviewers like this so-he'd-like-us-to-believe walking dog (because his Ural broke down). Notice that the 2008 models have no reviews: the owners are speechless with delight!

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Comrades,

I propose some of the following:

PONTIAC INJUN (to appeal to Native Americans (Chief Pontiac!) and illiterate motorheads--niche markets in need of filling)
CHEVY LEVEE (for the Don McLean fan market, potentially all Baby Boomers; distributed free to Katrina victims to reinforce their belief in government and its reinforced levees)
BUICK TURBO HOMEY (a Japanese domestically-marketed minivan had this printed on it)
FORD FJORD (SUV for outdoor types, environmentalists, and Scandinavian-Americans)
GM REMUS (the post-bailout answer to the Prius)
CHRYSLER URANUS (the post-bailout answer to the Prius)

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How about the "ONE", after our glorious leader. It is the one we have been waiting for! It will have a feeding tube and built in toilet, so you have no need to leave it. I will run on the fecal matter from the driver, and it will provide shelter for four people, so there will be no need for living space in the form of housing. It will also have a tracking device so we can keep track of all party members at all times. This device will also keep track of how many miles you have driven out side of driving to work and back, so we can tax the people with the new "LUXURY MILE TAX", for we will need some way to make up for the taxes lost from the elimination of the need to buy gas. It will also serve as a cremation vessel. Upon the death of the driver, the car will be crushed and then immediately mealted down for recycling to make new "ONES"! The cancer that is the human body, will be burned out in the process. This new car line will solve many problems caused by the exsitance of man kind, truly a progressive car for the poeple...

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AmSoc73,
Aren't you describing The MATRIX?
People fit into the unit like batteries.
People Are the power for this unit.
Runs off body waste while idling.

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Comrades, haven't we all had it with this unseemly and unprogressive competition? There should be only one car.

The GeoFoCh One.

It will solve all transportation problems, and the chairman of the board will be <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrustes">Procrustes</a>.

Perhaps we should name the car the Procrustes? After all, that means that we can use all the relevant technology on one car. The pressed-cotton batting body of the Trabifurtz, a crash-box gearing system, Hannibal Lecter dashboards, two cylinder two-stroke engines. All the finest Peoples' Technology. If you have too many children, a few could be donated to the Peoples' Science. If too few, your Party Approved Minder comes along. In the future all cars will carry 3.7 people, and this, in true Procrustean and Progressive fashion, shall be enforced.

As a matter of fact I think that I shall suggest a new department of conformity, come the elevation of His O'liness. Modeled of course on dear Procrustes.

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Navigator,
Yes I must have overlooked this point. I do however think that the people deserve a car that is not built by those who still live the ways of the capitalists the way the Japanese do. Besides, the car has not been built yet, only the concept. We could liberate this cars technology from the Japanese and claim it as our own. All Technology is for all the people.

There is one side effect from the operation of the MATRIX, that is the smell of the occupant. But the car comes with a life time supply of putchouli oils to mask the smell of the unwashed. What a Glorious eco-friendly solution to the problem!

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All great ideas, thank you. Also General Secretary emails me with his concept:

THE HUMMER APOLOGY

Theo -

the idea of Procrustes is what socialist caring and compassion is all about (apart from the compassionate impaling).
Image Not only 3.7 people per car rule shall be enforced, but also 1.5 children per family quota shall become a mandatory norm for each spousal association (aka "family" of 1,2,3,4, or more spouses). Our glorious public school system is already doing its part in creating underage community units (aka children) that amount to 0.5 of their 1920 equivalents.

Image This whole Sovietization of America with utopian government programs reminds me of an old Soviet joke:

The Soviet government ordered a scientific research institute to develop new cheap food for the masses - a buttery spread made of crap. After twenty years and millions of investments a government official called the institute director to follow up on the progress.

"The progress is palpable," the director says. "We have already achieved a 50% success rate."
"What do you mean, a 50% success rate?" the official asks.
"It already spreads well but the smell still remains."

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[off]
Red, thanks for the joke. I've found what Soviet jokes I know to be hilarious and depressing. I read that in Moscow the conversation is the best in the world--once you get past the suspicion.

I think that the Department of Compliance will have to make an outing. I'm in the middle of a disgustingly nice capitalist pig vacation in Arizona now, soon to go to Las Vegas, and I'll have time to be really objectionable.

I hope.

BTW, in Big Eight (as they were) accounting firms, Compliance meant Tax.

There's a world of meaning in that. Slavery by other means...

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Now back to the original topic:

From the People's archives: Monster Truck Zaporozhets

<img width="550" src="https://www.englishrussia.com/images/cool_cars/2.jpg">

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Word fail me. This is for Blue Collar Comedy on XM--which is by far the best because it doesn't have any PC on it.

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Commissar,
As we all know, the masses will be duped if we only change the word, even if the meaning still remains. A tax by any other name is still a tax. And even if they resist, what can they do?
All money belongs to the state. Money minted and printed by the government, and so it shall return.

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I too am guilty of such pleasures, not very PC, but holding much truth that will not be uttered on any BET comedy hour.

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Autos should be named for celebrities:

The GM Moore - a huge SUV that emits large quantities of noxious gasses and makes a lot of noise but never really goes anywhere.
The Ford Streisand - a very expensive to buy and maintain sedan with old-fashioned styling whose drive train always sounds a bit off key
The Chrysler Franken - a car built largely from parts stolen from other cars via government fiat
The Cadillac Caroline - a sport sedan that is popular because everyone says it should be but in reality is just an overpriced lemon
The Lincoln Obama - the best car ever made by anyone anywhere as soon as we build the first one
The Pontiac Fey - Folks buy this car because it mimics better cars and makes them appear to compare poorly next to the Fey, but in reality it is an inferior piece of junk
The Mercury Oprah - this car was the inspiriaton for the Lincoln Obama but the current design is wide and bloated
The Oldsmobile Olberman - a junkpile that makes so much ugly noise only a lunatic can bear to drive it.
The Dodge Matthews - everyone that drives this car feels something icky on their leg, probably hydraulic fluid but no one really wants to look, preferring instead to rush off to the nearest shower
The Jeep Plaxico - a strong, sturdy SUV which has the unfortunate tendency to throw connecting rods... thru the engine block to flatten the tires.
The Buick Ayers - not a car at all but a rickshaw made in North Korea that tends to explode when in proximity to government buildings
The Ford Fonda - basically a Yugo but without the classy styling

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The ford Gore- designed to run where global warming has made it impossilble for curent car designs to run efficiently. yet in a strange twist of inrony, seems to cause temperature drops resulting in unseasonally cold weather and/or snow falls.
Designed by people who think they are enginers but only have ideas of how a car really works. But still, the car will sell good because people will believe anything they see on CNN or MSMBC. If that does'nt work they will just write a book about it, an then soon after, the movie about how this car will save the planet.

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Opiate of the People wrote:Autos should be named for celebrities:
The Buick Ayers - not a car at all but a rickshaw made in North Korea that tends to explode when in proximity to government buildings

Comrade Opiate,

Should this not be the Ford Ayers? Simply turn the old Ford Pinto production lines back on and there you go! Available in any color you want, as long as it's red or green.

The Chevrolet Nader - a rear-engined car that lacks wheels and transmission and is therefor not Unsafe at Any Speed because it never exceeds 0 mph/kph. Imagine: a 100% safe automobile!

That's progress!

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<img src="https://www.csupomona.edu/~ehelp/email/ ... erload.jpg">
The great Islamic socialist auto industry of Iran has given us this beaut.

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Comrade Hasan,

Alhamdu lillahi! Is it produced in the factory at Qom?

Comrades (including Hasan),

Snidely and ignorantly referred to as the world's only successful Communist country, Japan produces cars. Consider this used car ad for the most equal vehicle created by the People's People of the Rising Sun and Yen. The ad includes free MC Hammer pants, too. Beat that, Detroit!

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Opiate of the People wrote:Introducing the brand new eco-friendly bio-degradable Pelosimobile!Image

Features:
Zero emissions - unless driver ate beans for lunch.
Inexpensive to maintain - parts readily available in any national park.
Great gas mileage!
Easy credit available - in fact, this is the ONLY purchase for which you can get credit terms right now.

Buy one now - avoid jail time!

Oh my gosh! Hahaha. . . I love this! Give me one!

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Comrade_Tovarich wrote:
Opiate of the People wrote:Autos should be named for celebrities:
The Buick Ayers - not a car at all but a rickshaw made in North Korea that tends to explode when in proximity to government buildings

Comrade Opiate,

Should this not be the Ford Ayers? Simply turn the old Ford Pinto production lines back on and there you go! Available in any color you want, as long as it's red or green.

The Chevrolet Nader - a rear-engined car that lacks wheels and transmission and is therefor not Unsafe at Any Speed because it never exceeds 0 mph/kph. Imagine: a 100% safe automobile!

That's progress!

Ugh, the Ford Pinto. I forgot about that ugly episode. If only Ford were government controlled at the time; the injured parties would not have been able to sue. Nobody ever collected a ruble from the Soviet government when their USSR-made TV set exploded.

The Chevrolet Nader - a delicious irony, made even more so by the fact he would probably love the concept. Just sit in your driveway and go "Vroom, vroom" and pretend you're moving. Not 100% safe, but maybe 99.998% safe - what if a meteor hit your car while you were sitting there?

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Comrade_Elliott wrote: Oh my gosh! Hahaha. . . I love this! Give me one!


[Sigh] Comrade, I'm appalled at your anti-revolutionary grasping capitalist attitude. "Give" you one???? This is the people's collective, not the corporate offices at Exxon! We all WORK here! No one gives Caroline Kennedy anything! No one gives Michelle Obama anything! Do you think our noble representatives in Congress are just standing around bloviating like some imperialist coffee-klatch? No, my friend, they are WORKING HARD for you and me, working so hard that they must hire people to bring them pages to fondle and to collect their campaign contributions! So please, get with the program. Get your shovel and put in your 80 hours a week like the rest of us. Comrade Obama is busy lowering the oceans so we must dig ditches to give him a place to put the water.

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Comrades,
Memento Amtrak! Anything taken over and run by the government withers on the vine.

Oh, and I suggest two new models

The Obama S-car : runs on crap and delusions, but look at that S-car go!
&
The Ford Rosie O : operates primarily on lard and hot air (with occasional furious temper tantrums for an added turbo boost).

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Image{{Character Off}}
Boy I love this site!

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How about the "Che-vy Guevara" A sporty Latin-American classic that was actually responsible for many terrible pedistrian deaths. But apparently when looked at in idyllic retrospect it becomes a symbol for Hope and Change!

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Rex, do not by any means show your appreciation of things unless they are directed toward The Common Good™ and The Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, which are by the way infinitely elastic, because we are the taxonomists.

The virtue of a big bureaucracy is that we get to fetishize the paperwork, which is to divorce it from its practical use. "Will that mortgage be repaid?" becomes, "Did you get the Truth in Lending signed?"

And the second virtue is that a big bureaucracy lets us apportion blame somewhere else. Now since it unlinks actions from consequences some comrades may get to be sullen thinking that they have no input on their lives, but they do not yet realize that they are empowered to fuck with everything without consequence. It of course does not occur to them that everything can fuck with them--without consequence.

All hail the unlinking of actions from consequences, which lets us reject being adults and lets us be good progressives!

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The Mercury Grand Maher: A boring boisterous model originally thought to be built by libertarians, but in fact is being built by libertine socialists. Runs best for Hollywood liberals but only goes in reverse for more conservative drivers.

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A good call, Proletarian Robot. The Maher sneaked in under false colors and is indeed a True Believer. I recall him saying that he found some conservatives agreeable. The shame of it.

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Ford " Escort". HA HA,... No wait, that's what I have,... DAMN!!
Feet of snow has made me Crazy Comrades, Vodka or Kafka?

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Take the Buick Blagojevich for a spin: It's a cheap, unimpressive compact model that runs surprisingly quiet when trouble starts. But will likely tend to get progressively louder & louder the more engine breaks down.

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Having had many a Comrade from the former DDR, they always speak with fondness over their collectively-engineered "Plastik-Bombe." They would even give them affectionate names like "Schorsch," as illustrated in the flick "Go Trabi Go."

And thus I impart to you a bit of European culture for the masses as my debut on this glorious island defending the Proletarian Tradition!

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Proleterian Robot wrote:How about the "Che-vy Guevara" A sporty Latin-American classic that was actually [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]responsible for many terrible pedistrian deaths[/HIGHLIGHT]. But apparently when looked at in idyllic retrospect it becomes a symbol for Hope and Change!

Hey, Robot.....oh excuse me, Comrade Robot,

No one needs reminding of that useless piece of crap! I didn't authorize the use of my name on it, and I'm still in litigation about it. No pedestrians were injured, but a few did meet their demise. There indeed, was a lot of hope and change hype,at the time; unfortunately there may have been a flaw in the design. I had absolutely no part in this, and I will continue with my counter-suit to clear my good name, comrade. So enough with the jokes in poor taste, Si?

(where the hell is that lawyer's number?)

Che' Gourmet

Always ready for Hope and Change, no matter how confusing!

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But Tovarisch Che...litigation? How boorishly capitalistic! your rights are always subordinate to the collective!

With all respect to Comrade Tovarich and Don MacLean, shouldn't it be the 'Chevy Levy'? Oh, well, I'm off to the Portland People's Collective in my Honda Pious, which runs on carbon neutral Good Intentions and emission free Smugness...or I would be off except for the 12+ inches of Climate Change on the ground here.


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Ah yes, a Toyota Pious. The perfect Peoples' Car. If your Deux Chevaux doesn't work and if your Trabifurtz isn't working either.

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No one needs reminding of that useless piece of crap! [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]I didn't authorize the use of my name on it, and I'm still in litigation about it.[/HIGHLIGHT] No pedestrians were injured, but a few did meet their demise.
Che Gourmet! A thousand apologies!

Obviously the real problem begins when our little brother countries attempt to use bourgeois capitalist methods. Clearly they tried to emulate the greedy perpetrators on Madison Avenue and borrow your good name to sell their low-end product without your consent.

However, the brand new Reid Range Rover is fully endorsed by the reigning party. Each vehicle can hold several withdrawing invaders troops. It also comes equipped with a special side seat for Media: Obama's lap dog who will record the mass exodus correctly for prosperity.

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Comrade Chernobyl wrote:How about this prototype of the new Peoples SUV: <img width="550" src="https://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Work ... -Car-A.jpg">


I guess you could subtitle this:

The 2X4 that broke the Camry's back.

A Bridging Too Far

A Farewell to Axles

Brokeback Mounting

Lost (Plymouth) Horizon

The Groaning Springs of Mr. Stone


But please, do everyone a favor and don't sink to my level.

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Opiate of the People wrote:
Comrade_Elliott wrote: Oh my gosh! Hahaha. . . I love this! Give me one!


[Sigh] Comrade, I'm appalled at your anti-revolutionary grasping capitalist attitude. "Give" you one???? This is the people's collective, not the corporate offices at Exxon! We all WORK here! No one gives Caroline Kennedy anything! No one gives Michelle Obama anything! Do you think our noble representatives in Congress are just standing around bloviating like some imperialist coffee-klatch? No, my friend, they are WORKING HARD for you and me, working so hard that they must hire people to bring them pages to fondle and to collect their campaign contributions! So please, get with the program. Get your shovel and put in your 80 hours a week like the rest of us. Comrade Obama is busy lowering the oceans so we must dig ditches to give him a place to put the water.
You are right, no one gives here on our communistic utopia. I was implying I should own one myself, so as to avoid jail time.

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Freedom Now wrote:<img src="/images/Cars_Yugo.jpg">

Comrades, let us not forget the sacrifice made by one of our forebears in proving that the Yugo was so superior it could fly:

In 1989, a tragic accident captured the front pages of state newspapers. Leslie Pluhar's 1987 Yugo, a small car, plunged from the bridge more than 150 feet to the straits below. It was the first vehicle to fall off the five-mile span since it opened. Gale force winds blowing from the northwest helped lift her car off the roadway and over the side.

Comrade Leslie will be missed.

As you see, capitalist press downplays superiority of Most Glorious Vehicle by calling it simply, "a small car" and suggesting wind lifted it. It flew!

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Oooh ooh I got one:
The Ford Chappaquiddick amphibious convertible - (beta version)

Image
Oh, and of course, Comrade Theocritus, you are correct. I do not love this site. I love the party - and the party loves me - k.i.s.s.i.n.g. division.

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Of course, Party members will still need
luxurious, comfortable, fine
utilitarian , practical vehicles for the security of the people.

It is a sacrifice that fearless leaders must make
for the good of the Party, and therefore, the People.

Like the :
"Hummer H4 DENIAL"
<img width="550" src="https://www.gizmag.com/pictures/3655_02.jpg">
or this
"GMC PURGE"


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I fail to see what all the worries are about. As for the proles: let them walk.

As for me my RL.

It's for The Common Good™ because what I was is by definition for the common good. Attention all comrades: if you don't know by now that what you want is for the common good you're a piss-poor comrade.

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Comrade_Elliott wrote: You are right, no one gives here on our communistic utopia. I was implying I should own one myself, so as to avoid jail time.


Actually, I think Comrade Homer did drive one in a couple of episodes, unless that is my anti-freeze-based-vodka induced psychosis acting up again. The show has been on for so long, I could almost swear it was on during the same era as The Flintstones.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah yes, a Toyota Pious. The perfect Peoples' Car. If your Deux Chevaux doesn't work and if your Trabifurtz isn't working either.

The Trabi "Fart"? It must be the design bureau's latest model! Where must I apply to for its acquisition? Tell me!

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Opiate of the People wrote:
Comrade_Elliott wrote: You are right, no one gives here on our communistic utopia. I was implying I should own one myself, so as to avoid jail time.


Actually, I think Comrade Homer did drive one in a couple of episodes, unless that is my anti-freeze-based-vodka induced psychosis acting up again. The show has been on for so long, I could almost swear it was on during the same era as The Flintstones.

He does actually, he doesn't push it with his feet, he uses gasoline, putting more CO2 in the air.
Unfortunately, I can not find a good video with it, but yes, he does had for his car Flintstone style.


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<img width="550" src="https://www.freddevan.com/Automobiles/M ... itt-sc.jpg">

I loved the scene with Sam driving this car next to the huge trucks on the highway. I am sure that Pelosevich will recommend that The One appoints the Car Commissar that is familiar with efficient state run cars like this beauty, a P87, I think.

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Comrades of the Glorious Revolution, I give you the Ford Brady! Made from the willfully surrendered arms and ammunition of the oppressive capitalist pigs who once bitterly clung to their guns and false religions, the Brady features roll cages made from evil assault rifle barrels, walnut dashboard made from the stocks of shotguns, and an engine featuring cylinders made from pistol barrels. It is the ultimate in disarming the masses!

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Welcome to the Cube, Comrade357! The Inner Comrade is strong within you!

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Thank you for the welcome Comrade. I look forward to the Great and Glorious day when the oppressed masses shall rise up and fairly redistribute all the wealth stolen from the sweat of our brows.

(out of character for a moment, I live in Olympia Washington, home The Evergreen State College, and some of the most friggin' annoying and socially undesirable "progressives" I have ever had the misfortune to share a bus with. They really don't shave or wash, the women don't shave their legs, and they all smell like patchouli oil. It's horrible. Olympia is the only place I have seen protesters rioting over the RETURN of military equipment from Iraq. Seriously. )

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Ha! Comrade357, your Co-Collectivites in Olympia were protesting the return of military equipment precisely because it was not being put to it's proper intended use:

The Long Awaited Redistribution of the World's Wealth!

Silly Comrade357... ;)


 
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