| Dear radical Muslim comrades! While you are the best allies the Left could ever have in the great patriotic war against American Capitalism, there are limits in every relationship, even the most intimate one like ours. Thus, your latest allegation that the Apple Mecca Store in New York amounts to a deliberate insult to Islam (because it resembles your big black Ka'bah cube in Mecca) is not just inane, it's an unprovoked stab in the back. This isn't how good allies treat one another. Yes, our cube-shaped Apple store resembles Ka'bah - so what? It's not like your real Mecca. To be more like the real Mecca it must have regular stampedes crushing thousands of geeks to death every year, aggravated by outbreaks of dysentery among huge crowds of Apple users crammed together in anti-sanitary conditions. |
The next big threat to Islam: NINTENDO MECCA![]() Comrade Red Square: Let's face it: Muslims did not invent the cube and neither did Apple. If we believed in the bourgeois concept of ownership, we'd say it's owned by the People's Cube. As it is, we declare it people's property. Sheik Omar Abdul Rahman: Mullah Dubya: | |

We supported you when you pounded Nike into recalling 800,000 shoes because the English word "Air" in its logo allegedly resembled the Arabic lettering for one of the 99 names for Allah. We laughed in approval when you shook down a Swiss supermarket chain, forcing it to withdraw 16,200 rolls of toilet paper with Zodiac signs because the Virgo symbol, when seen upside down "could be taken to resemble the word Allah" in Arabic. We cheered on your heroic boycott of imperialist Coca-Cola because its logo, if flipped horizontally and tweaked slightly, sort of reads "no Muhammad, no Mecca" in Arabic. We nodded when your complains forced the corporate Burger King to withdraw ice cream cones because the line-drawing on the lid resembled Arabic lettering for Allah. We gloated when British banks banned the display of piggy banks and British stores banned pig calendars and pig toys because they might offend Muslims. .We refrained from comments when you rioted against the beauty pageant in Nigeria, killing 200, burning churches, and destroying property. We pretended the riots over the Danish cartoons never happened.
We did our best to help you get away with 9/11 by framing it as a legitimate response of the oppressed minorities against Western imperialism, and by positioning the WTC victims as "Little Eichmanns." We blamed the attack on the Bush administration, or on the Mossad, or on both. We explained your kidnappings, beheadings, hijackings, bombings, and sniping as a heroic fight against the reactionary occupiers. We accepted and rationalized a great deal of your shenanigans, including the pointless murders of policemen, civilians, construction workers, partygoers, vacationers, children on the way to school. But Apple Computer Inc. (PBUH) is where we must draw the line, comrades.

Apple is a progressive company that supports the revolution, donates to liberal causes, and even created a "Product Red" iPod and gift card (to help fight AIDS among African Muslims). Most importantly, it encourages the American populace to abandon its pig-headedness and think different (that is, conform to narrow guidelines of political correctness and avoid thoughtcrime). Their marketing slogan was most likely inspired by the French deconstructionist philosopher Michel Foucault, who called for the West to think different - and he himself followed this rule to the logical point of converting to Islam, embracing Khomeini's theocracy in Iran, and ending up by contracting HIV at a gay orgy in San Francisco and dying of AIDS.
Some say that the Apple cult is reminiscent of Islam. That Apple zealots are intolerant of non-Apple products, they proselytize, despise non-believers and deem converts to PC (apostates) unworthy of living. They treat the Macintosh Bible as holy scripture (the Macintosh Quran coming soon), they perform frequent virtual hadjj to Apple.com, and pronounce fatwas against Microsoft and Bill Gates. They believe that there is no OS but Mac OS and regard Steve Jobs is its Prophet. But this is where the similarities end.
In fact, Apple users are more like what the media refers to as "moderate Muslims." They don't issue death threats to apple sauce manufacturers who put pictures of apples on their labels. They don't demonstrate with placards saying "Behead those who insult Mac OS," and "Geeks will dominate the world." They don't burn down and vandalize CompUSA stores. They don't riot over Dell commercials. And they don't sneak into PC-equipped corporate offices and blow themselves up in the name of Apple and its prophet Steve Jobs.
So how about a tradeoff? You leave Apple alone, and we'll find you a different great excuse to boil and seethe with rage. Are you familiar with the insensitive American tradition to carve crescent-shaped windows in the doors of their outhouses? "Protect the Muslim Crescent" would be a great, clean campaign allowing you to channel your massive creative energy into protecting Islam from this real and present danger. We will send out our activists to gather exact names and locations of the blasphemous wooden cabins, so you can demonstrate in front of them and possibly burn them down - to reinforce the positive image of Islam as a true force of peace in this world.

APPENDIX

Nike was forced to recall 800,000 of these sneakers because the English word "Air" in its logo allegedly resembled the Arabic lettering for Allah. How do you say "Think different" in Arabic?

Some Muslims boycott Coca-Cola because its logo, if flipped horizontally and tweaked slightly, sort of reads "no Muhammad, no Mecca" in Arabic.

Muslim complains forced the corporate Burger King to withdraw ice cream cones because the line-drawing on the lid, if turned sidewise, resembled Arabic lettering for Allah. Hm, if Dubya resembles Allah, then... Oh no! I just thought myself a thoughtcrime, comrades! Must think different!

If you have other examples of how Muslim grievances help us move progress forward, post them here.

Quote:
Americans can not get enough of offending Muslims, can they? Imagine them(Muslims) building a gas station in the shape of a church or a public restroom! and yeah, dont mind new bombings as a result of ticking off the extresmists, ya guys had it coming all the way!Quote:
This is really asking for trouble! Muslim extremists can see a very good reason for moving in now. You are really provoking and offending Muslims all over the world and hurting their feelings. You are also putting innocent peoples lives at risk. Why not have a different design say like a huge apple?! why does it have to be something to do with Muslims and Islam? May Allah Guide you to the right path.

Red Square
And let's not forget Comrade S. Bunny's contribution to the Greater Good™

sonofsheldon
To radical Muslim politburo:Commissar M
The intellectual class does the thinking for us.Quote:
This is really asking for trouble! Muslim extremists can see a very good reason for moving in now. You are really provoking and offending Muslims all over the world and hurting their feelings. You are also putting innocent peoples lives at risk. Why not have a different design say like a huge apple?! why does it have to be something to do with Muslims and Islam?Quote:
93. Guardian: "The registered owner of MEMRI, is an Israeli called Yigal Carmon." Now I know who's enjoying the Christian-Muslim conflict.Red Square
The moral of the story is: protect Israel, because after it's gone, who will you blame for your own problems?Red Square
The moral of the story is: protect Israel, because after it's gone, who will you blame for your own problems?Chairman Meow S. Pun
To prevent further outrage, we must eliminate all visual display of a square or a cube. (Except the Peoples Cube, naturally.)Commissar M
Red Square
The moral of the story is: protect Israel, because after it's gone, who will you blame for your own problems?
Margaret
So, we can't build square buildings anymore?Muslihoon
Thus, the argument can be made that Coca Cola is secretly a Muslim company.Margaret
So, we can't build square buildings anymore?Adnan Hajj
Fine work, comrade Red Square!

Quote:
For several days the rumours have been circulating that if the Coca Cola logo is viewed in a mirror or upside down, it appears to read in Arabic: "No to Mohammed," "No to Mecca."


laffalot
These are not idiotic fantasies; they are logical consequences for a people that empower an ex-president, whose legacy is keeping his international guest waiting while preoccupied with an intern and a cigar in the Oval Office, to continue to hold up his head proudly on the world stage.Commissar M
laffalot
These are not idiotic fantasies; they are logical consequences for a people that empower an ex-president, whose legacy is keeping his international guest waiting while preoccupied with an intern and a cigar in the Oval Office, to continue to hold up his head proudly on the world stage.Quote:
The Revolution takes too long, Comrades! I yearn for Peace In Our Time!Private Pravda
The Revolution takes too long, Comrades! I yearn for Peace In Our Time!neurtal
Did you ever see any muslim trying to insult any other religion?Quote:
On one visit he discovered three Muslims – two patients and a consultant – inside the prayer room with the two icons masked by a cloth. A picture of the Virgin Mary had also been placed face down. Read AllQuote:
Sheikh Abd Al-Aziz Fawzan Al-Fawzan, a professor of Islamic law at Al-ImamUniversity, who frequently appears on Saudi TV made anti-Christian comments on Saudi Al-Majd TV. He told his audience to hate anyone "who worships Christ, son of Mary" and added that "whoever says 'I don't hate him [i.e. a Christian]' is not a Muslim..." Read All
neurtal
Did you ever see any muslim trying to insult any other religion?neurtal
Did you ever see any muslim trying to insult any other religion?


Quote:
Have you been living in a cave since Islam came around?Faraz
People you are confusing much of everything. Blaming everything on the muslims. Infact the whole thread became boring after a while.Quote:
For your kind information, Quran never says anything about oppression, infact it orders us to respect other peoples beliefs and I must agree that most Muslims today are not following Quran to the word nowadays. The only exception to this rule is when a Non-Muslim intends to harm Muslims FOR NO REASON.Faraz
People you are confusing much of everything. Blaming everything on the muslims...I feel you are bent upon abusing other people's ideologies.Faraz
I hate the word extremist muslims. This creature does not exist. People are either muslims or not.Faraz
Quote:
@ t3h sexist pig. NOT WOMAN!!! ME MAN!!! ME SMITE YOU WITH IRON CLAWS!!!!!Quote:
Who decides, and how does one decide that Muslims have been harmed--or even that harm has been "intended"?Quote:
Whether unarmed or well-equipped, march on and fight for the cause of Allah, with your wealth and your persons. - Koran 9:41Quote:
Muslims are harsh against the unbelievers, merciful to one another. - Koran 48:25Quote:
When you meet the unbelievers in the battlefield, strike off their heads, and when you have laid them low, bind your captives firmly. - Koran 47:4Quote:
Fight those who believe neither in God nor the Last Day, nor what has been forbidden by God and his messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, even if they are People of the Book, until they pay the tribute and have been humbled. The unbelievers are impure and their abode is hell. Humiliate the non-Muslims to such an extent that they surrender and pay tribute.Quote:
O believers, take not Jews and Christians as friends; they are friends of each other. Those of you who make them his friends is one of them. God does not guide an unjust people. - Koran 5:54Quote:
O Prophet! Make war on the unbelievers and the hypocrites. Be harsh with them. Their ultimate abode is hell, a hapless journey's end. - Koran 9:73Faraz
Secondly, you have got to start believing that there are black sheeps in every society. and muslims, as humans, are not any different. And dont U tell me that there arent any in Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism Or Communism.Quote:
And mind you, we believe that EVERYONE has the same right to live as muslims unlike most other people.Quote:
I belong to a country called Pakistan. Yea yea i know you would instantly think of suicide bombings and all.Quote:
But c'mon people, just imagine yourself in their place. God forbid, if your families get destroyed in front of your eyes, are you people going to enjoy life?Quote:
Whether unarmed or well-equipped, march on and fight for the cause of Allah, with your wealth and your persons. - Koran 9:41Quote:
[Quran 9:41] You shall readily mobilize, light or heavy, and strive with your money and your lives in the cause of GOD. This is better for you, if you only knew.Quote:
You on the other hand may or may not admit to them; however you make excuses, and justifications for them. And then when anyone points out some problems they see in the world of Islam. You are upset and blame the critic, not the source of the problem.Quote:
[9:29] You shall fight back against those who do not believe in GOD, nor in the Last Day, nor do they prohibit what GOD and His messenger have prohibited, nor do they abide by the religion of truth - among those who received the scripture - until they pay the due tax, willingly or unwillingly.Quote:
[47:4] If you encounter (in war) those who disbelieve, you may strike the necks. If you take them as captives you may set them free or ransom them, until the war ends. Had GOD willed, He could have granted you victory, without war. But He thus tests you by one another. As for those who get killed in the cause of GOD, He will never put their sacrifice to waste.FARAZ
But please stop abusing the beliefs of the majority of peace loving Muslim people that have got nothing to do with these acts. Please!Quote:
About the suicide bombers, maybe you would like to see the other side of the story. I wonder why you believed THAT story more then this. It MAY never have happened. But if it has I and a majority of Muslims condemn it seriously.Faraz
http://wiredispatch.com/news/?id=53024Quote:
"Both had recently received psychiatric treatment for depression and/or schizophrenia. From what we know now there's no indication that they had Down syndrome," Smith said, citing records obtained by the military.Quote:
Leviticus 20:21Quote:
If other religious institutions are so open minded then why did the Christians protest on the DAVICI CODE, when many Christian beliefs were made a target?Quote:
Do you know a non-Hindu cant slaughter a cow in India as they worship it?sunny
Don’t just watch local TV and listen to people, come out and see how the world lives.Quote:
Do you know a non-Hindu cant slaughter a cow in India as they worship it? So why doesn’t that become a topic of debate?Quote:
What many intellectual, broad-minded Muslims and I feel is that everything done to hurt us is deliberate.Quote:
Muslims would have even protested if the Danish had made cartoon of Jesus



Quote:
Do you know a non-Hindu cant slaughter a cow in India as they worship it? So why doesn’t that become a topic of debate?Quote:
Peace-loving MuslimsQuote:
i dont have time for this nonsense. and this clearly shows how weak your faith is as you can make fun of your religion and god. if you believe in something and you consider it yours you try to protect it as much as possible.Quote:
who asked USA to help Afghanistan or Iraq?islam
u guys don't know a damn thing about islam. With the Oklahama City bombing, ppl didnt blame all the white folks, how come with 9/11, everyone is blaming all the muslims. In Islam, it is wrong to even kill a little bug, let alone a human being. Everything you hear on the tv, in the newspapers, etc is not true. I thought you all would be educated enough to know that by now. What would your reaction be if we strapped someone on a fuckin cross? You guys are the ones who are bombing Iraq and killing all the innocent ppl there. How many of your own ppl have you killed.. lets see, i believe its up to what... fuckin 4000?????????????? Ya like sunny said... Happy Easter to you too| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
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Study: a Google search for body count website listing civilian deaths in Korea brought no results
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Irish economy in a shambles but who cares; St Patricks day is only 4 months away
Obama to cut Medicare as soon as debt panel finds a way to blame it on Republicans
Aging Democratic Party Politburo refuses to give way to younger apparatchiks
Soros escape pod seen over Los Angeles; clueless Pentagon denies 'action by U.S. adversary,' searches ocean bed for hatches and trap doors
Just in: fall of USSR result of not speaking to people effectively, teleprompters not having been invented yet
Obama to America: "Mumbai is awesome! Wish you were here. Wire money"
Obama's final appeal to voters: Have the courage and integrity to rubber stamp my rubber stamps!
Obama distances from himself in Charlottesville to woo Virginia voters
Juan Williams hired by Fox News to represent liberals; show titled You've seen Juan, you've seen 'em all
Google expands maps and street views to include Google Colonoscopy: zero in on target and get detailed view with few clicks of mouse. New program supported by several gov't agencies, most notably IRS
New polling indicates American voters no longer want change, they just want their money back
Democrats launch "Take Our Jobs" campaign as only seven Americans agreed to vote for them
Obama ends war, blames Iraq car explosions on faulty non-union manufactured spare parts
Democrats pull troops out of Iraq to fight the 'real war' on Christine O' Donnell
In effort to appeal to NOW feminists, Christine O'Donnell changes name to Rosie, gains 400lbs
Obama goes to church, worships self
Study: Obama's threat to butn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties


GOP: a Rove by any other name still smells the same
Imam Rauf finds a peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
New Yorkers to Rauf: 'move mosque to Mecca; Ground Zero at location can be arranged'
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
General Petraeus: non-halal meals, uncovered female Americans endanger U.S. troops
U.S. forces in Afghanistan brace for backlash after President's message on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kipur
Cardboard cutouts used to fill empty seats for Obama's appearance as Obama takes credit for creating jobs in cardboard-cutout sector
Taliban commanders warn that a plan to build Ground Zero mosque could provoke violence against their troops and operatives overseas
MSNBC suggests Florida church burn Bible instead of Koran; fewer pages mean smaller carbon footprint
New York Neighbors for American Values offer to voluntarily behead themselves to prove tolerance to Muslims; rabbi Arthur Waskow offers to self-incinerate in oven instead
The U.N. posthumously awards all French military personal that served during May of 1940 a medal for Courageous Restraint
White House revises policy to announce when President is at work instead of announcing when he is going on vacation
Seattle: sonic booms of fighter jets shatter glass, stimulate economy
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
White House: Spanish vacation saved or created 3,427 jobs
Pelosi issues recall of House, citing electoral safety concerns
Obama's lack of cojones a bold-face lie: proof
Elton John Working On Anti-Obama Musical
Congress ceases Pentagon spending, outsources armed forces to China
Shirley Sherrod accepts apology, gets new gov't job in End of Life Counseling
On first visit as Britain's PM, David Cameron chooses a communist state, seeks détente
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
GOP challengers promise post-racial presidency after 2012
Doctors: Glenn Beck's worsening eyesight and inability to focus give hope he may yet join other media and follow Obama
Parachuting donkey lands into Vice President's desk, continues business as usual
Obama calls on radical groups to comply with rules for radicals
NAACP condemns racism within al Qaeda: 'We don't have a problem with radicals, we have an issue with their acceptance of white Arab supremacists into their organizations'
Obama denies al-Qaeda stimulus money, redirects funds to 'less racist' man-made disaster management organizations
In view of lasting heat wave, all weather forecasts are temporarily replaced with 'An Inconvenient Truth' infomercials
NAACP strongly denounces The New Black Panthers
Caught in another hateful rant, Mel Gibson apologizes to representatives of hurt communities: Russian mail-order bride community, silicone breast-implant community, slutty clothes designer community, Vegas whore community, rapist community, and personally to Al Sharpton
Europe: Oracle Octopus predicts World Cup winner;
USA: Oracle Dodo predicts economic growth
Today's box office: LeBron knixes New York in a suspense thriller The Field of Nightmares (Tax Them and They Won't Come)

In a last-ditch effort to get popular with Americans, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan reveals she's a Russian spy, photoshops her face on Anna Chapman's nude photos, wins by a landslide
Portland Tribune to receive Pulitzer Prize for best investigative non-reporting of Al Gore's sexual public service blooper
War on Arizona turns to quagmire; Obama sets timetable on American withdrawal by 2011
MSNBC: Obama's firing McChrystal a positive move to bring long-awaited improvement in oil-spill-affected news coverage
Harry Reid changes name to John F Kennedy in last ditch effort to win re-election
White House spokesman Gibbs clarifies why President's answers to nation's problems seem surreal, bizarre and inappropriate, by comparing reporter's question to a purple polka-dotted people-eater riding a tricycle
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
President taps Pay Czar for BP payouts to victims: Unions order freighter of champagne
EPA: New climate bill will cost less than a postage stamp a day to those still able to afford a postage stamp
Helen Thomas Gets "Rachel Corrie Golden Bulldozer Award"
Puzzled media: Apparently, Al Gore is pro-drill
Gay Pride parade in Gaza cancels inclusion of Israeli group
Obama blames Bush for screwing up his 'Don't Make Excuses' grad speech in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Helen Thomas to leave US for ancestral Lebanon to no longer be occupier of La Raza's Land
Following phrase scheduled to appear on every Sunday morning news show: 'What Helen actually ment to say was...'

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
Obama's Deficit Reduction Commission operating in the red
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Democrats introduce bill regulating who can be a politician
BP hires Gaza flotilla peace activists to beat oil back into hole
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