|CHAPPAQUIDDICK - In a mysterious repetition of a famous drowning car accident, on the same day 37 years later (July 19, 2006), another female passenger drowned as a male DWI driver sent his classic 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont off an angled, unlit narrow Dike Bridge without guard rails, onto which he claimed to have made a wrong turn. The car plunged into tide-swept Poucha Pond and landed upside down under the water, drowning the young woman. The male driver got out of the pond, contacted his lawyer, and reported to the police only twenty four hours after the accident.|
"If it were a different time, or a different bridge, or a different car, or if the passenger weren't a young woman, or the driver had not contacted the police exactly 24 hours later after he had spoken with his lawyer, or he hadn't been wearing the same bulky neck brace, we might prosecute," explained Assistant District Attorney Leon Shmeflin. "But because Senator Kennedy had been acquitted under exactly the same circumstances, we cannot call this one a crime either. Perhaps we could shoot for a $50 fine for improper boating and waste disposal," he added sheepishly.
A spokesperson for Sen. Kennedy has issued the following pre-emptive statement: "Predictably, the far right-wing conservative movement and the secretive Federalist Society will jump into the fray, attempting to hijack legal protocol by demanding prosecution of the driver. Karl Rove will spearhead the effort, as the White House is preparing to draw cynical parallels to Senator Ted Kennedy's unrelated Chappaquiddick accident."
The DNC has demanded a Congressional investigation into the hard-ball right-wing tactics and legal tampering involved in this case, and the ACLU has appointed several staff to the driver's case. "We are horrified by the usurping of this tragic victim's rights," said the DNC Chairman Howard Dean. "The rush to judgment is despicable and unjustified. Clearly, Karl Rove is to blame and needs to be investigated, found guilty and jailed," Dr. Dean said.
Some bloggers have speculated that too many coincidences point to a clever setup. Others have argued that the Democratic Party has a clear winner. The young driver, a charismatic new star whom media observers predict great future in politics and service to the common good, has already been seen visiting elite liberal salons in Boston, Mass., wearing an enormous neck brace.
The corpse of the young woman has been retrieved from the car and given to family members. Auto mechanics are optimistic that the classic 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88 will be salvageable.
Komrade ZuulskiThis is conspiracy! It was really Fascist Bush that planted all that evidence to remove a political enemy.
Quote:No editing, Laika. It's perfect the way it is...
Red SquareNo editing, Laika. It's perfect the way it is... Thanks to YouTube...
Premier BettyIt's all part of the conspiracy to create a communist nobility in the U.S. Where those with entitlement can do whatever they want (like the nobility in France before the glorious peoples revolution) crossed with a commie dictatorship giving them even more power.
Quote:our lead pig is not Napoleon, but Hillary.
Quote:our lead pig is not Napoleon, but Hillary.
Laika the Space DogYou know that online petition for Hathaway?
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