![]() | Media experts are still debating the mysterious claim by a 20-year-old McCain/Palin volunteer concerning the bruises, the missing $60, and the letter "B" that suddenly appeared on her cheek as she was using a cash machine in Pittsburg, PA last night. "I honestly believe this is the beginning of the rise of a new type of B-stigmatics," says MSNBC host Chris Matthews, whose personal leg tingles during the Obama speeches have turned him into an expert. "Such B-stigmata will often take form of bruises, disappearing wallets, and yes, the letter B popping up on people's cheeks. The afflicted may even claim they saw the image of the Obamessiah dressed in dark hoodie, jeans, and shiny gym shoes, but those must be hallucinations resulting from exceptional white guilt and desire to associate oneself with the suffering Obamessiah and his disciples." |
According to experts unaffiliated with the Obama campaign, the miracle of B-stigmata is caused by excessive compassion in persons whose faith in the Obamessiah is so strong that it leads to the individual embodiment of the contemplated pain. Some B-stigmatics would claim to feel the pain of wounds with no external marks; these are referred to as invisible B-stigmata. Some B-stigmatics' wounds do not appear to clot, and stay fresh and uninfected. The blood from the B-wounds is said, in some cases, to have a pleasant, perfumed odor, known as the Odor of the Obamessiah. The term originates from the line at the end of long tirade delivered at about 9:30 p.m. near a Citizens Bank automated teller machine by an Obama disciple who said "You are going to be a Barack supporter." The location of the alleged miracle - the ATM on the corner of Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street - has now become a shrine and a place of pilgrimage by other Obama disciples. There still are skeptics who describe the whole incident as a last-minute attempt by McCain and Palin to engage in Rovian "reverse marketing" because, as everybody knows, there are no depths to which the Republicans will not descend while extending the Bush Doctrine to end human civilization and steal its oil. All media experts agree, however, in that the so-called "ATM mugging" is a highly improbable scenario because, in all of the United States history, not a single person has ever been mugged while withdrawing cash from an ATM. The campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama responded to the media reports with a statement saying, "Our thoughts and prayers are with the young woman for her to make a speedy acceptance of the Obamessiah as her personal Savior, and we hope that her wounds emit a pleasant, perfumed odor." |

Macai
This article is yet another example of irrefutable proof that all McCain supporters, capitalists, neocons, conservatives, Republicans, and SUV owners are lying swine and can never be trusted about anything.Quote:
Gulag! Gulag!AbecedariusRex
Hey, I'm just glad she could form her letters backwards. No Child Left Behind works for everyone!whitemaleheteropig
AbecedariusRex
Hey, I'm just glad she could form her letters backwards. No Child Left Behind works for everyone!Stalin's Cat
Gulag! Gulag!Ivan the Fool
It is clear as Gulag borscht that Comrade Ashley is a double-agent. She too is working toward that which we all aspire, the great and glorious people's uprising of next Tuesday that will bring Hope and Change and bread lines to the masses.
Zampolit Blokhayev
Ivan the Fool
It is clear as Gulag borscht that Comrade Ashley is a double-agent. She too is working toward that which we all aspire, the great and glorious people's uprising of next Tuesday that will bring Hope and Change and bread lines to the masses.Dr. Strangelove
Remind me again of the lyrics, ZB.Quote:
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