![]() | Since the best minds of the country have concluded that health care is a basic human right, it must also be presumed that this right automatically includes the most fundamental component of all human health - food. Leading nation's scientists have long been warning us that denying a person the nutrition from food impairs health in the most direct and injurious manner. Today the debate is over: the right to health and the right to food are pretty much one and the same - the inalienable human right to have your bodily functions regulated by the government for your own good. |
That anyone is allowed to make billions of dollars by providing Americans with their basic health-giving nutritional needs is the shame of the nation and the cruel result of underregulated markets gone wild. As eating is preventive health care at its most basic level, no health care reform would be complete without establishing a single-payer system of nutrition delivery called Foodicare, overseen by a super-czar level position of the Foodmaster General. An all-inclusive 2,500 page plan of this essential program is already available for immediate passage. No reading required; it is already self-evident that such an arrangement is even better than a similar plan most successfully enjoyed by North Koreans today.
To ensure a steady stream of health-generating foodstuffs, and to safeguard against the vagaries of weather affecting harvests, it will be the US government's responsibility to control the climate well beyond the meager provisions of Waxman-Markey. While CO2 regulations may be a good start, we will soon be in an urgent need of a legislation allowing us to cap and trade rain and sunshine. In addition to having the maximum sustainable effect on the health of the planet and its citizens, it will also create thousands of jobs you never even dreamed existed. The next logical step the government is expected to take is to properly identify and manage other important ingredients of the right to health care: housing care, clothing care, leisure care, and care for the citizens' romantic relationships - since denying a person good quality shelter, apparel, exercise, and recreational sex also impairs health in the most direct and injurious manner.
|

Who will make up the Lose Weight or Die panel?
Red Square
Indeed, I always had a feeling that the small intestine was underrepresented and disenfranchised by the large intestine. We must take stuff away from the large intestine that already is large enough, and give more to the poor small intestine so that it can grow more.Opiate of the People
And gas! Not gas from eating all the food but free gas to power my free car.
Opiate of the People
I think having a brand new car is a basic human right. After all, how am I going to go down and pick up my food entitlement from the distribution center without transportation? I can't take the bus... it would be demeaning to me to be seen in public carrying boxes of free food. Besides, it would be too hard to carry by myself since the bus stop is a couple of blocks from the distribution center. Yes, it is obvious that the government should provide a free car to all free food recipients. And gas! Not gas from eating all the food but free gas to power my free car. And free government oil changes! What about a free extended warranty on my free car that I need to pick up my free food? How the hell do they expect me to keep driving my free car down to the distribution center to pick up my free food if they don't give me free maintenance? All of these things are basic human rights!Ivana Tinkle




FafaFooey
Brilliant! There's no end to the legislation we can draw up to 'guarantee' this crap, er fairness.Red Square
Indeed, I always had a feeling that the small intestine was underrepresented and disenfranchised by the large intestine. We must take stuff away from the large intestine that already is large enough, and give more to the poor small intestine so that it can grow more.Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!


Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!
Red Square
Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!
[/center]Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!

Quote:
The boycott is on, comrades! Every progressive worth his/her organic tofu must join the protestEmperor Kakubakuhatsu
Red Rooster
I DENOUNCE THE CIRCLE!
Dr. W. S. Palimpsest
[left]BOYCOTT WHOLE FOODS![/left]


Red Square
I denounce Comrade Emperor for thoughtcrimes against the Cube. The best minds of the progressive movement have already concluded that The Cube is the most perfect shape and reflects progressiveness in every single square of its glorious red body.
Leninka
What about backyard vegetable gardens? They must be collectivized!
Red Square
Emperor - is seppuku some medieval variety of loyal self-criticism?Quote:
junshi (following ones lord in death, although was strictly discouraged by the bafuku and daimyo, as it used up too many perfectly good retainers), funshi (to express one’s indignation at a situation), kanshi (as an admonishment or rebuke to one’s lord for his behavior), to atone for dishonorable actions of one’s own, and to avoid capture and disgrace (and probable torture and execution) in battle. In such circumstances, of course, there usually wasn’t time for the whole ritual, so expedients as cutting one’s own throat, throwing oneself from a running horse with a sword in one’s mouth, or flinging oneself off high walls, towers, or cliffs were winked at. In 1516, Muira Yoshimoto committed suicide by cutting off his own head, something that got him a gazillion style points (he was still dead, however).
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