YEEE---HAWWW!Commissarka Pinkie
Ahem! (She says as she waves her shovel menacingly) And just what do you expect me to do with a tin of mustache wax?Commissarka Pinkie
Ahem! (She says as she waves her shovel menacingly) And just what do you expect me to do with a tin of mustache wax?
Quote:
Also it leads to perceptions of gender neutrality, which is equality among the masses.






Quote:
BETINOV!!!Quote:
You, sir, are a PREDATORY VENDOR!Quote:
You tricked me, played on the fears instilled in me by eight years of blood-soaked oppression under the Bush regime, and took advantage of my minority status and my innocent, starry-eyed adoration of Obama--which makes you RACIST!--to sell me a defective, overpriced product. Not only that, but you conned me into buying even more snake oil than I could afford. It has totally ruined my life by leaving me with a mustache, which in turn has utterly destroyed my quality of life--I can't get a job, can't get a house, can't get a car, can't get a date, can't even get an abortion (see the part where I can't get a date), and the only remedy you offer is MUSTACHE WAX?Quote:
And don't give me any of that crap about the fine print. No one has time to read the fine print, and everyone says it doesn't mean a thing anyway.Quote:
I demand a government program to save me from this ignominy and embarrassment! Yes, all of you who didn't buy the snake oil--that would be you greedy, hateful, intolerant neocons who think you should get to keep all your money to yourself instead of sharing it with those of us who have none because of vultures like you who won't share--all of you must pay for the reparations I'm entitled to, to include money to have the mustache removed, and more money for the rest of my life to make up for the horrible anguish I have suffered.Quote:
Unfair, you say? Bull! YOU'RE the ones always preaching morality and personal responsibility! Well, helping me is the MORAL thing to do, and YOUR responsibility--DO IT!!!Quote:
Also, I'm selling my courageous story to the networks, tabloids, and Hollywood. My dearest hope is that my part will be played by Angelina Jolie, with Brad Pitt as my shovel.Quote:
And just so we're clear on one last thing, Comrades: I'm not doing this for the money. I don't care about the money. I don't even WANT the money--but I have to take it anyway, because it's the only way to send a strong message to all the other would-be snake oil salesmen out there that if they dare to try this, then I'll bloody well send another strong message to--to--well, it doesn't have to be to anyone. The important thing is I'll be raising awareness and showing how much I care about others who could end up like me if I don't continue doing something to--to raise awareness.Quote:
I got explosive diarrhea after drinking Obama’s Genuine Snake Oil. My poor illegal housekeeper has been scrubbing the bathroom walls all day now because of this awful, awful gimmick.Quote:
"I used GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL just once, and instantly found the opportunity to provide employment for the poor, downtrodden and traditionally under-represented! Thanks, Obama Brand! "Quote:
Can this snake oil be used to lift fine lines and wrinkles or, uh, the deep, cavernous canyons that run up and down my face? And what about the pock-marks on my ass? Does GOBS work on a pock-marked ass?Quote:
Can I use the Obama Snake Oil on my US mad People's Morale Enforcers, or only on my Com-Bloc ones?


Quote:
Also, I want to lose five lbs. Would it be safe to use your product as a laxative? GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL is so fancy - I'm thinking if I just rub it all over myself it would dazzle every one in to an illusion of change! I hope it works! What do you think?AbecedariusRex
If you wish a purgative without use of the Obama Snake Oiltm try reading this article from TIMEtm.Komrade Koala
AbecedariusRex
If you wish a purgative without use of the Obama Snake Oiltm try reading this article from TIMEtm.Red Square
...

Superkommissar Maksim
Altering Red Square’s work is somewhat intimidating, but here is my less equal image.
Comrade7.62
I think the Commissarka looks more becoming with the mustache, much more Stalin-esque. Also it leads to perceptions of gender neutrality, which is equality among the masses.Quote:
Many would argue the bodily functions of Rosie O’Donnell are also “gross,” but ‘Access’ didn’t mind sharing that “news” with viewers. O’Donnell gave excruciating detail on her experience of menopause.Quote:
Tell me sumthin'... Can Rosie O'Donnell use BOSO on her thighs in order to reduce chafing?Commissarka Pinkie
Speaking of Rosie, picture this:Quote:
Many would argue the bodily functions of Rosie O’Donnell are also “gross,” but ‘Access’ didn’t mind sharing that “news” with viewers. O’Donnell gave excruciating detail on her experience of menopause.
Quote:
I have but one question from the Socialist masses that have posted before me. Just where from the Snake does a good Socialist get the oil? I wish to know before I buy this seemingly wonderful product that must heel everything as the One has promised to do for all of us.Ivan Betinov
Quote:
I have but one question from the Socialist masses that have posted before me. Just where from the Snake does a good Socialist get the oil? I wish to know before I buy this seemingly wonderful product that must heel everything as the One has promised to do for all of us.

KomradeGunny N Wyominstan
Kommrade Marshal, Greetings.Commissar Theocritus
Comrade_Androgynov, that's quite a rack you have, and with your page-boy 'do, you might be just the ticket for the naked, sweaty Rosie on her balcony.
Commissarka Pinkie
Speaking of Rosie, picture this:Quote:
Many would argue the bodily functions of Rosie O’Donnell are also “gross,” but ‘Access’ didn’t mind sharing that “news” with viewers. O’Donnell gave excruciating detail on her experience of menopause.Comrade7.62
I DENOUNCE PINKIE! I DENOUNCE HER IN THE MOST VEHEMENT POSSIBLE TERMS! I DENOUNCE PINKIE IN THE MORNING! I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I BRUSH MY TEETH, AND WHEN I DEPOSIT MY STIMULUS PACKAGE IN THE COMMUNAL OUTHOUSE. I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I DIG BEETS, AND I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I COLLECT MY DAILY RATION. I DENOUNCE PINKIE TO THE HIGHEST HEAVENS, AND TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF CAPITALIST HELL. IN SHORT, I WOULD RATHER COPULATE WITH NANCY PELOSI THAN HAVE THIS SEARING, EVIL IMAGE BURNED IN MY MIND. BAD PINKIE! NO DONUT! BAD, BAD PINKIE!Quote:
But Theocritus, all I have to do is take a dose of Genuine Obama Brand Snake Oil, and I'll be able to perform with the vigor of 6 stout comrades! Although you are right about the sheets, chest hair and necrophilia.| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
Access Hollywood Diluting The People's Cube Brand | Red Square | 3 | 6562 | |
I Had The Obama Hormone! | Red Square | 15 | 12665 | |
Obama Media? What Obama Media? | Red Square | 9 | 6240 | |
Built By Obama: What You See Is Not What You Get | Red Square | 30 | 6003 | |
Unemployed? Obama Is Hiring | Superkommissar Maksim | 33 | 8599 | |
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