Cafepress.com on many of its news pages is promoting a pro-communist store that, among hammers and red stars, also sells "Hillary Guevara" design based on the famed Che™ picture by the Cuban photographer Korda. One can buy Hillary Guevara shirts, pins, mugs, bags, baby and doggie items, and yes, boxer shorts commanding you to "vote Hillary '08." More on that later.
In our previous story we described how Cafepress.com censored our "Che is Dead" design with a hairy skull in a beret on a vague pretext of copyright infringement - while they turned a blind eye on other shopkeepers who blatantly used corporate logos and trademarks in designs that denigrated American corporations and capitalism in general.
I decided to stage an experiment to see if Cafepress would like the taste of their own medicine. I set up a section in my store named Cafepress is a left-wing nutjob and put together a couple of designs mocking Cafepress while using their own logo.
The designs were banned on arrival, before I even could put them on any products. Thus we proved that Cafepress will not tolerate dissing its own logo. Fair enough. Hypocritical yet explicable. Step 2 of the experiment included the same designs minus the trademarked logo.
The designs went through and I created a set of nice products with them including shirts, mugs, stickers, and thongs. Half an hour later, just as I was placing an ad for these products on my site's front page, the shop was purged without warning. Just like in the 1984 novel, my shirts became non-shirts, thongs became non-thongs, stickers became non-stickers, and the shop was clean and empty as if I hadn't just spent an hour building it.
Later that day I received the same form email from Cafepress as before. It listed a standard set of violations that, as we have already seen, Cafepress never bothers to enforce unless one makes fun of communism - or of Cafepress itself. Maybe I should've named that store "The Truth Hurts."
Since then I received this communication from Cafepress:
In a parallel development, at about the same time, a pro-communist shop named Parallel aXis (favored and invariably promoted by Cafepress) had launched a new line of products featuring Hillary Guevara gear based on exactly the same image. Gasp! No censorship here. Apparently the term "parallel axis" also describes what Cafepress uses as moral and legal guidance.
In other words, while the Cafepress's trigger-happy legal hand was purging my online store of beret-wearing skulls because it was "too similar to the original Korda photograph," its dollar-happy marketing hand was promoting a "Vote Hillary '08" design based on the same Korda's photograph (flipping the image horizontally is not really an alteration).
Please compare these images:
The only person who might complain about the similarities would be Nick Nolte - but I don't think he cared to copyright that particular photograph.
I felt it was time to sit down and write another letter to Cafepress.com.
Dear Content Usage Associate,
Please kindly explain what usage guidelines I violated to cause you censor my designs in the section of my online store named "Cafepress is a left-wing nutjob." I didn't do anything different from what many of your other users did to Burger King, McDonalds, Wal-Mart, Fox News, President Bush, etc. I didn't even deface your logo, did I?
I really feel that your actions violate my right to free speech, and here's why.
Courts have upheld that privately owned shopping malls are "Public Commons" where people have free speech rights no matter what the policies of the owners of the shopping malls. Web-sites such as CafePress, it could be argued, by allowing in the public, are Public Commons and as such don't have the right to limit anyone's free speech which includes, but not limited to, setting up a section named "Cafepress is a left-wing nutjob."
While the very concept of "Public Commons" is a purely leftist idea used by the Left to survive by parasitizing on capitalism through injecting communist propagandistic larvae into the host bodies of wealth-creating capitalists (which I guess has unfortunately happened to Cafepress at some point), I consider it a fair game to invoke this concept while fighting the Leftist infection itself.
I created my anti-Cafepress designs after you purged my online store, removing products with a picture of a hairy skull in a trademark Che™ beret. You recently responded that my image was "too similar to the original Korda photograph." But can you REALLY use that excuse after you allowed images of Hillary as Che™ be posted on Cafepress by Parallel aXis, a pro-communist store that you favor and promote in your CafePress Wire? I don't think so. With the copyright issue out of the way, what remains is blatant political censorship. This is especially ironic considering that a few years ago you were selling merchandise for a communist North Korean site promoting Juche idea of the Great Leader Kim Il Sung.
What is being done here is restraint of trade (there's no trademark for Che Guevara's skull, nor for any other items in my online store) and a violation of my First Amendment rights to free speech. You must understand that this is a serious matter.
I'm considering calling my local ACLU office in New York. They have a record of successful lawsuits protecting First Amendment rights against corporate oppression. That's right, we're back to commiespeak again. You are a big bad corporation that owns means of production (capitalist exploiter), and I am a little guy who has nothing to lose except his chains (exploited proletarian), comprende camerado? That might be a very funny follow up to be posted all over the Internet, don't you think? As it is, dozens of bloggers have already picked up this story and are salivating for more developments.
Remember Cindy Sheehan who camped out in Crawford, TX demanding that Bush meet with her and explain a few things? Don't you love the tactics of the Left? In fact, Cindy let it slip once that she didn't really want Bush to meet with her as that might put an end to her successful show. Similarly, if Cafepress apologizes and removes the restriction on anti-Che™ satire that might put an end to this particular show, and I might not want that to happen before the fun is over.
And thank you for forwarding to me the address of Che™ layer in France. I don't think I need it because I don't have to ask their permission to satirize murdering communists. I am not using Che™ to sell more of my product as Smirnoff Vodka once did. I don't have to prove anything to Maitre Randy Yolaz et al. The burden of proof is on them, so please don't place the cart before the horse.
You might want to contact Maitre Randy Yolaz with your Hillary Guevara gear, though. And while you're at it you might also inquire if this image below that I am about to upload to Cafepress might be "too similar to the original Korda photograph." Would you please do that? That would be the only permission I would like to have from a French lawyer.
Please be kind to send me a personal response. The longer you delay, the more people will be reading the blogs and the websites that are following this development - and the more potential customers Cafepress will lose.
I know you must really dislike me for doing this. But isn't this what Leftist activists (in Che™ T-Shirts) are doing on a regular basis to American corporations, trying to disrupt and destroy good, well-running businesses that are the foundation of our wellbeing? You allow it to happen in your shops without invoking the copyright infringement issues, but you had to censor my caricature of a communist demagogue rabble-rouser?
Eat your own medicine.
Comrade Red Square
I probably wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know that Cafepress is banning every anti-Che design on the grounds that it somewhat resembles Che's famous photograph (please see a similar story described on Che-Mart.com. But that is exactly the image that is emblazoned on the shirts of legions of brainwashed wannabe "revolutionaries." How can one visually satirize this phenomenon without alluding to the image that's in the center of it? The image had become a cultural phenomenon before copyright was claimed for it in the year 2000. Someone should've told them that it was too late to cork the bottle after the genie had already escaped. And if no one told them before, we will.
Who are "they?" Here the part where the background comes in. You can read our informative compilation here, or just go with the skinny below:
The famous picture was shot by Alberto Diaz, a fashion photographer better known as Korda, at a funeral for victims of the explosion of a French freighter transporting weapons to Cuba one year after Fidel Castro's revolution triumphed with the help of Guevara. Korda's group photograph was not printed by his newspaper the next day. Seven years later, when Italian publisher Giangiacomo Feltrinelli showed up looking for a cover picture for an edition of Che's "Bolivian Diary," Korda gave him two prints for free. Guevara was captured six months later in the Bolivian jungle, where his bid to start an armed peasant revolution ended in fiasco. On news on his death, Feltrinelli cropped the photo and published large posters that quickly sold 1 million copies. Thus the guerrilla fighter was transformed into a radical chic poster boy. Korda said he never received a penny from Feltrinelli.
But a year before his death in 2001, Korda won an out-of-court settlement of about $50,000 in a suit against Smirnoff for using Che's picture in vodka ad campaign - with the help of Western leftist lawyers, of course. Around that time Korda stated that he didn't want any money for using Che's photo to promote communism, but he objected to its use to denigrate Che's image and ideas.
There you have it - an absurd, immoral situation: not only Che™ cult is being protected by the very system he was rabidly trying to destroy, but it seems that only a pro-communist use of the image is now tolerated but an anti-communist use is verboten.
Since the Hillary Guevara use of Korda's photo obviously falls under the pro-communist category, Cafepress needn't worry.
Today Korda's daughter who lives in France owns the copyright for Che™ photo and dictates who can allude to Che™ via his image, collecting money for its commercial use. Che™ daughter who lives in Cuba is also sniffing around for some cash in lawsuits. Something tells me the two daughters would not be able to pull it off unless they had a backing of Cuba's propaganda machine. They expect us to pretend that this is nothing but a copyright issue, but it is really the issue of free speech and leftist censorship. Lawyers say it will be an uphill struggle to deter non-photographic use of such a widely reproduced image - like ours, for example. Good. Again, one can copyright a photo - but not the idea.
What needs to be done in this regard, I think, is a big publicized lawsuit in which reason has a chance to prevail. We must beat the Left at their game of information control, and create a legal precedent for the rest of us. Once we get the ball rolling it may eventually turn into a huge snowball as it picks up more issues and parties along the way. Ideally I would like to see communism itself put on trial, to kick the "moral" foundation from under its feet once and for all. I was hoping that would happen after the fall of the Soviet Union - a big trial over the Communist Party like they had one in Nuremberg over the Nazi criminals in 1945. It never happened.
Today we can still hear from the media, the academics, and Hollywood that communism isn't that bad - instead, it's the immoral power of American capitalism that threatens the world's freedom. George Clooney comes up with another anti-McCarthy movie that glorifies communist supporters. Che Guevara images are plastered all over American campuses. Communist symbols are presented as cool items in such promotions as can be found on Cafepress, for example. I'm sure that a fascist symbol will not last very long there. But what's the difference between the two? Both communism and fascism are socialist doctrines relying on big totalitarian government to stifle opposition and control the economy. Both generate a breed of militant fanatics willing to murder millions if necessary for the sake of some mythical brotherhood of the future. While both ideologies are oppressive and inhuman in their nature - rosy claims notwithstanding - the fascists didn't even come close to communists in the numbers of people they had robbed, butchered, and starved to death. Yet Cafepress seems to think it's cool to promote a "Communism Kids T-Shirt."
Quote:ahem...the link to the Che is Dead shirts is back up in cafepress...wtf?
Kommissar BettyWait, does this mean that we have to stop making fun of Cafe Press?Hell no - now we push CafePress to produce nazi shirts or else force them to explain why one totalitarian regime is more palatable then another. . .
Quote:Communist growth rates were certainly impressive...The rapid growth in output could be fully explained by rapid growth in inputs: expansion of employment, increases in education levels, and, above all, massive investment in physical capital.
Quote:Rapid Soviet economic growth was based entirely on one attribute: the willingness to save, to sacrifice current consumption for the sake of future production.
Quote:...it is hard for most people to realize that there was a time when the Soviet economy, far from being a byword for the failure of socialism, was one of the wonders of the world--that when Khrushchev pounded his shoe on the U.N. podium and declared, "We will bury you," it was an economic rather than a military boast.
Paul KrugmanTo set the record straight about Communism (again!),
Paul KrugmanTo set the record straight about Communism (again!),
Quote:Mr. Krugman, your brains are the dynamite of revolution. You sir, are a dangerous man.[/quote]
KamenevI'm sorry, but if brains were dynamite, Krugman wouldn't have enough to blow his own nose.
Quote:Rapid Soviet economic growth was based entirely on one attribute: the willingness to save, to sacrifice current consumption for the sake of future production.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
Obama captures rare Pokémon while visiting Hiroshima
Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson"
White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican Party
President George Washington: 'Redcoats do not represent British Empire; King George promotes a distorted version of British colonialism'
Following Obama's 'Okie-Doke' speech, stock of Okie-Doke soars; NASDAQ: 'Obama best Okie-Doke salesman'
Weaponized baby formula threatens Planned Parenthood office; ACLU demands federal investigation of Gerber
Experts: melting Antarctic glacier could cause sale levels to rise up to 80% off select items by this weekend
Travel advisory: airlines now offering flights to front of TSA line
John Kasich self-identifies as GOP primary winner, demands access to White House bathroom
Upcoming Trump/Kelly interview on FoxNews sponsored by 'Let's Make a Deal' and 'The Price is Right'
News from 2017: once the evacuation of Lena Dunham and 90% of other Hollywood celebrities to Canada is confirmed, Trump resigns from presidency: "My work here is done"
Non-presidential candidate Paul Ryan pledges not to run for president in new non-presidential non-ad campaign
Trump suggests creating 'Muslim database'; Obama symbolically protests by shredding White House guest logs beginning 2009
National Enquirer: John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman
National Enquirer: Bound delegates from Colorado, Wyoming found in Ted Cruz’s basement
Iran breaks its pinky-swear promise not to support terrorism; US State Department vows rock-paper-scissors strategic response
Women across the country cheer as racist Democrat president on $20 bill is replaced by black pro-gun Republican
Federal Reserve solves budget crisis by writing itself a 20-trillion-dollar check
Widows, orphans claim responsibility for Brussels airport bombing
Susan Sarandon: "I don't vote with my vagina." Voters in line behind her still suspicious, use hand sanitizer
Campaign memo typo causes Hillary to court 'New Black Panties' vote
New Hampshire votes for socialist Sanders, changes state motto to "Live FOR Free or Die"
Martin O'Malley drops out of race after Iowa Caucus; nation shocked with revelation he has been running for president
Hillary campaign denies accusations of smoking-gun evidence in her emails, claims they contain only smoking-circumstantial-gun evidence
In effort to contol wild passions for violent jihad, White House urges gun owners to keep their firearms covered in gun burkas
TV horror live: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons
Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender"
Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island
Green energy fact: if we put all green energy subsidies together in one-dollar bills and burn them, we could generate more electricity than has been produced by subsidized green energy
State officials improve chances of healthcare payouts by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery
NASA's new mission to search for racism, sexism, and economic inequality in deep space suffers from race, gender, and class power struggles over multibillion-dollar budget
ISIS opens suicide hotline for US teens depressed by climate change and other progressive doomsday scenarios
'Wear hijab to school day' ends with spontaneous female circumcision and stoning of a classmate during lunch break
ISIS releases new, even more barbaric video in an effort to regain mantle from Planned Parenthood
Shocking new book explores pros and cons of socialism, discovers they are same people
John Kerry accepts Iran's "Golden Taquiyya" award, requests jalapenos on the side
Citizens of Pluto protest US government's surveillance of their planetoid and its moons with New Horizons space drone
Chicago Police trying to identify flag that caused nine murders and 53 injuries in the city this past weekend
Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles
Student job opportunities: make big bucks this summer as Hillary’s Ordinary-American; all expenses paid, travel, free acting lessons
Junior Varsity takes Ramadi, advances to quarterfinals
US media to GOP pool of candidates: 'Knowing what we know now, would you have had anything to do with the founding of the United States?'
China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"
Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%
America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith
Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine
Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths
Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State
President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise
Police: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market
NASA: We're 80% sure about being 20% sure about being 17% sure about being 38% sure about 2014 being the hottest year on record
Cuba-US normalization: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba
White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'
CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate
Obama: 'If I had a city, it would look like Ferguson'
Obama signs executive order renaming 'looters' to 'undocumented shoppers'
Ethicists agree: two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first
White House: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders
Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time
Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy
Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences
Fun facts about world languages: the Left has more words for statism than the Eskimos have for snow
Nobel Peace Prize controversy: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it
Obama: 'Ebola is the JV of viruses'
BREAKING: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama
Sharpton calls on white NFL players to beat their women in the interests of racial fairness
President Obama appoints his weekly approval poll as new national security adviser
Obama wags pen and phone at Putin; Europe offers support with powerful pens and phones from NATO members
Obama to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency
Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"
Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids
Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution
"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original
Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts
Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks
100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"
Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news
"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence
Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours
Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues
Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed
Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"
In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea
Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"
Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"
Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"
US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"
Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help
The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."
In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook
MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia’s aggression in Ukraine
Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America
North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"
Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout
Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss
Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district
Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend
Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle
White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare
Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea
President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy
Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"
Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"
Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week
NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"
Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough
The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation
Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy
Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"
Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'
FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies
GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'
Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
The Fine Report
Sad Hill News
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons