This year's remake of King Kong has brought Hollywood's vibrant Era of Remakes to a supreme climax. It easily beats such recent remakes as The Mummy, The Producers, Planet of the Apes, War of the Worlds, Phantom of the Opera, House of Wax, Dukes of Hazzard, Dawn of the Dead, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Time Machine, The Longest Yard, The Manchurian Candidate, The Stepford Wives, The Italian Job, The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Bad News Bears, The Ring, The Musketeer, The Honeymooners, The In-Laws, The Ladykillers, Thunderbirds, Psycho, S.W.A.T., Bewitched, Godzilla, Herbie, Alfie, Willard, Shaft, SpiderMan, Guess Who, Dark Water, Starsky and Hutch, Pride and Prejudice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Yours, Mine and Ours, Walking Tall, Freaky Friday, Charlie's Angels, Ocean's Eleven, You've Got Mail, Cheaper by the Dozen, Around the World in 80 Days, and, to an extent, 13 Going on 30.
This great remake it is sure to remain on top of next year's planned remakes of Pink Panther, Oh, God!, The Fly, Some Like it Hot, Revenge of the Nerds, Charlotte's Web, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Swiss Family Robinson, Miami Vice, Lady Chatterley, Logan's Run, Poseidon, Black Christmas, Day of the Dead, The Evil Dead, Foxy Brown, The Hills Have Eyes, The Incredible Shrinking Man, The Omen 666, Porky's, Rock'n'Roll High School, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, The Shaggy Dog, The Warriors, When a Stranger Calls, The A-Team, Casino Royale, and even Horton Hears a Who!
As every progressive grad student knows, the postmodern world leaves no place for any idea, event, or character worthy of an original film. History ended in the 1960s. Our lives are unworthy of original art. The only legitimate idea that still warrants a new original movie is that which reflects on the victorious struggle of oppressed minorities against the tyranny of the degenerate, white male-dominated culture of American capitalism. That seems to be the only justification for such original movies as Good Night And Good Luck, Syriana, The Motorcycle Diaries, Fahrenheit 9/11, and others. Otherwise, it's either historical revisionism as in Kingdom of Heaven and Alexander - or it's the remakes.
Are Hollywood remakes necessary?
Absolutely. Remakes help to rectify ideological blunders committed by filmmakers in the unenlightened age before political correctness. Remakes associate familiar concepts with new progressive ideas. Remakes add colorful technological luster to existing progressive narratives, making them more attractive to the masses. And finally, in the absence of original films, remakes generate wealth for progressive celebrities, who, in turn, contribute lavishly to the political and cultural organizations that battle the tyranny of American capitalism.
Why King Kong?
The original King Kong came out when Stalin was at the peak of his power, America suffered from the Great Depression, and the entire world was holding its breath for a world-wide socialist revolution. Today, when the legendary giant of the first workers' state has fallen and the United States became world's only superpower, new times called for a new King Kong. This remake was historically inevitable.
What is this movie about?
Most critics only scrape the surface of Kong's complex metaphoric structure, but its symbolism goes much deeper than the obvious. As every great work of art, this remake offers multiple layers of meaning. One of them is the tragic fall of the Soviet Union, a gentle giant of socialism destroyed by the dwarfs of materialistic bourgeois culture and US militarism.
Like the great Kong, the heroic Soviet people used to live happily on their land, hidden from the world by the Iron Curtain and surrounded by the fog of legends. But the wretched Western entrepreneurs had to enter this uncharted territory and ruin the perfect balance between the Party (the tribesmen guarding the wall around the island) and the Soviet people (Kong) who led an austere but noble existence fighting class enemies (T. Rex), spies (carnivorous bats), and saboteurs (giant cockroaches). Occasionally the Party made sacrificial offerings to the people (purges and show trials) - and everybody was happy. But the capitalists bribed the Party leaders, frightened them with superior firepower, and weakened their defenses with the glittering lure of bourgeois materialism, as exemplified by Naomi Watts. When the stupefied apparatchiks allowed the people to gaze upon decadent Western culture, the Soviet people could no longer go back to the way they were. Roaring, laughing, and raving, they jumped after the shiny bait and followed it wherever the capitalists wanted them to go. The rest is history.
Could it, perhaps, mean something else?
Another metaphoric interpretation is that of the fall of Baathism in Iraq . Saddam Hussein (Kong) lived happily in Iraq ( Skull Island ), accepting willing sacrifices from his people and the international community (Oil for Food). He also fought occasional domestic and foreign enemies - Kurds, Shiites, dissenters, Iranians, and Kuwaitis. This productive symbiosis could last forever if the West had not developed attractive technologies of mass destruction. Lured by the beauty of yellow cake Plutonium, Saddam came out of hiding and confronted America, only to be chained and publicly humiliated in the circus that is the Baghdad courthouse. The picture of Hussein's felled statue has already become a sad iconic image in American popular culture - an image on par with the murdered King Kong and the sinking of the Titanic.
What is this movie's social significance?
Although the masses may not be equipped to comprehend and articulate such subliminal messages, the new King Kong will surely make many of them pause and think about the root causes of this tragedy. The masterly conceived plot will assist them in their inquiry, showing them the cold heart of the capitalist system that encourages greed, profit, and exploitation - the true "Heart of Darkness" of this world. In a socialist society, this never would have happened.
What if Kong had traveled to Stalin's Moscow instead of New York?
The world history would be different. Kong would've become a great friend of the Soviet people and awarded the coveted Hero of Socialist Labor medal. As we now know, Stalin had financed biological experiments intended to create a cross-breed between apes and humans in order to build the perfect Red Warrior. It is logical to assume, then, that in the USSR, a bond between Kong and the fair maiden would be encouraged and protected by the mighty state. The nosy playwright Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) would be purged and sent to a re-education facility in Siberia for placing his personal lust for the girl over the common good and advancement of a worldwide revolution. The vile, profiteering producer Denham (Jack Black) would be locked up in an asylum for the politically insane. The entire crew of the Venture ship would be shoved into a box car and shipped off to the Gulag. But imagine an army of baby Kongs facing the capitalist enemy! Each Red Warrior would be armed with a howitzer and led by a blond female officer, Natasha, who would sit on its shoulder, issuing brief, precise orders! The world would be ours within weeks! Another wasted opportunity...
Is this movie escapist entertainment?
That's what the uninitiated are supposed to believe.
lil prol"You've Got Mail" ... As they begin to wonder whether this e-mail flirtation might lead them to be soul mates, however, they meet and clash over their colliding business fortunes."
lil prol"You've Got Mail" ... As they begin to wonder whether this e-mail flirtation might lead them to be soul mates, however, they meet and clash over their colliding business fortunes."
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 9 guests
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution
"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original
Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts
Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks
100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"
Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news
"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence
Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours
Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues
Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed
Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"
In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea
Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"
Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"
Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"
US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"
Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help
The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."
In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook
MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia’s aggression in Ukraine
Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America
North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"
Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout
Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss
Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district
Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend
Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle
White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare
Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea
President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy
Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"
Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"
Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week
NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"
Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough
The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation
Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy
Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"
Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'
FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies
GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'
Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
It's Big Fur Hat
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Death By 1000 Papercuts